John David & Abbie 8: Schrodinger No More, Baby Passenger Onboard

[Meggo]

On ‎6‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 7:54 AM, just_ordinary said:

And this does not only apply to homes but also many work places and public buildings as well.

The thing is, science indicates that climate change might actually end in a much over all colder climate for Europe after all. And while I am not against A/C  at all I think eventually we should find more environment friendly ways to cool down our building (different building materials and designs, green roofs and walls, more green to stop cities from heating up, clever ventilation and shutter systems) than worsening the problem by needing even more energy. There are already great ideas and examples and even many very old buildings provide great temperatures inside no matter the weather. Obviously no fast fix but a better long term perspective than using millions of thousands of A/Cs for centuries.

Yes!! I read something ages and ages ago (which I could remember what now) that said older homes were actually better for heating & cooling because they HAD to be. Without AC - it mattered how your house was placed on the lot, which windows opened and where there was a cross breeze etc. 

My house is only a few years old and there is NO WAY to get any cross breeze! Drives me bonkers. I would love to just open the windows and cool the place down, but we have no windows that are across from each other anywhere. 
And our cottage is maybe 14 years old - and we've talked about buying another piece of land and then basically building that house again on a different lot - but I keep thinking of how to build it so the upstairs doesn't get so beastly hot etc. (even though we have air there - I'd rather NOT use it if possible...) 

I'd love to find a book on how to build and design houses (for the lay person) that talks about all of that.

 

[HereticHick]

So happy that we are discussing A/C and the attractions of Hampton Roads rather that a Jabbie baby.

 

PS Abbie's hometown peach festival is coming up in two weeks: https://www.travelok.com/listings/view.profile/id.18811 

Wonder if they are going to go to it? [Abbie's family gives out homemade peach ice cream. with a side of proselytizing, during the festival.

[Smee]

When did Jabbie get married? I wonder if we’ll make it to their anniversary without an announcement, like Jinger.

[viii]

2 hours ago, Smee said:

When did Jabbie get married? I wonder if we’ll make it to their anniversary without an announcement, like Jinger.

JD and Abbie got married November 3rd. I’ll be very surprised if they make it to a year without an announcement. 

[xenobia]

They seem to be more private than some of the other couples. Good for them! They are also one of the few couples who could make a living and support themselves (and potentially upcoming kids) without the TLC Money, since they both have a career and/or education. They were also a bit older when they married. So I actually would be a bit honestly happy for them if they announced a pregnancy. 

[JillyO]

5 hours ago, xenobia said:

So I actually would be a bit honestly happy for them if they announced a pregnancy. 

Frankly, I don't get it.

I understand thinking JD and Abbie are in a somewhat better place to raise a child than these 20-year-olds pumping out babies, sure. But to be happy if she was pregnant? That child would still, by all available evidence, be raised in a cult. They would still be brought up with the same horrible "child training" techniques and taught the same horrible beliefs as all the other Duggar grandkids. I couldn't possibly be happy about that, and I truthfully don't understand how any FJer (or any sane, compassionate human being for that matter) could be either.

[xenobia]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

Frankly, I don't get it.

I understand thinking JD and Abbie are in a somewhat better place to raise a child than these 20-year-olds pumping out babies, sure. But to be happy if she was pregnant? That child would still, by all available evidence, be raised in a cult. They would still be brought up with the same horrible "child training" techniques and taught the same horrible beliefs as all the other Duggar grandkids. I couldn't possibly be happy about that, and I truthfully don't understand how any FJer (or any sane, compassionate human being for that matter) could be either.

 

I could be a bit happy for them just like I can be a bit sad for others. I'm childfree by choice myself, but I do understand that most people want to have kids. When people who want to have kids announce a pregnancy I can be happy for them, even if I don't want kids myself, or if I disagree with one or more life choices that they have made. I'm totally aware of their beliefs. If you think that doesn't make me sane or compassionate, that's ok. I know who I am. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I’d love to see JD just show up with a baby one day like he just showed up with a girlfriend one day.

[JillyO]

1 hour ago, xenobia said:

I could be a bit happy for them just like I can be a bit sad for others. I'm childfree by choice myself, but I do understand that most people want to have kids. When people who want to have kids announce a pregnancy I can be happy for them, even if I don't want kids myself, or if I disagree with one or more life choices that they have made. I'm totally aware of their beliefs. If you think that doesn't make me sane or compassionate, that's ok. I know who I am. 

Uhh, what? How does the question of whether you or I want kids have anything to do with whether we should be happy that more children are being born into the Duggars' hateful cult?

What I was saying was that any kids born into this cult are abused (physically, emotionally, and spiritually); raised with an incredibly damaging, hateful ideology; and brought up to be the next generation of adults who will do their darndest to strip everyone who is not a white male evangelical Christian of their rights. So yeah, if you're going to say you'd be happy for more kids being born into that cult -- in spite of claiming you're "totally aware of their beliefs" -- then I'm going to judge you for that.

[NorthernGal]

I still think it is odd that they had a social media presence, not as much as others, but it is like they are in ghost mode. 

Abbie never posted the winner to her insta contest. 

No well wishes or condolences for any of the family happenings. 

Curious if this is a choice or perhaps something amiss. 

 

[Chewing Gum]

Yeah, she hasn't posted anything in almost 2 months, that's a long time. 

[SorenaJ]

So if we are sad for Lauren and Joy for their losses, why can't we be happy for someone's gain (e.g. a healthy pregnancy?) Humans can have more than one emotion at one time. Can I be happy that someone who wanted a child got pregnant, whilst simultaneously wanting to punch them and hoping they slip on a banana peel and get a bad concussion? Sure. Do I want John and Abbie to be happy? Yes, because I am a better person than they are. 

[Smee]

I want John and Abbie to get pregnant (if that’s what they want), have a successful birth, then look at their baby and go “dear Rufus I love this child more than anything in the world and can’t possibly imagine blanket training him, judging who he loves no matter their gender, or trying to split our attention between him and 12 others. Let’s move away from our nutcase families, find a more progressive church and do our own thing.”

Basically I would be happy for them but not thrilled for the baby. And I’m generally interested in new milestones that can commonly lead adults to reassess their lives and future plans. I have read enough “escape” stories where couples have left the cult AFTER marrying and growing a bit, that I would have a much more hopeful and positive attitude towards a Jabbie baby than poor M6. 

[justmy2cents]

I liked the first few posts which seemed to be captioned by John.  Maybe a bit corny but cute.  After they married it seemed that Abbie took over and they became boring. 

Maybe there was some backlash from jumping on the citrusandlemon bandwagon and she hit pause. 

[Zebedee]

@Scrabblemaster and @GuineaPigCourtship I freeze a couple of old tiles and then wrap a tea towel over them for my rats to cool off. (And sometimes do the same with a bottle of ice). I'm in S. Germany, we had high 30s, high humidity and NO breeze, so the ratties were suffering a bit. Much cooler now, but they still are too hot so are chucking all the shredded toilet paper out of their cage and onto my beds (thanks guys). I did the same when I had a hamster, but quickly realised that he loved the heat. He was a roborovski, and they live in places where the temps go from below -10C to well over 30C. Obviously, they hibernate in the cold, but they run like little maniacs in the heat! 
Hamsters shouldn't really be getting themselves too wet, but mice, rats, rabbits all loved fishing for frozen peas in a big bowl of water when it got too hot for them. 

[HereticHick]

abbie's hometown Peach Festival starts tomorrow. It will be interesting if they attend. It would also be a fine time to visit her family and announce that they are expecting a lil'peach of their own.

 

PS John and Abbie are in at least one of the photos of the Stratford Peach Festival's Facebook page: 

 

[Daisy0322]

I'm actually pretty surprised we haven't already had an announcement. JD seems nice enough for a shovenistic fundy dude but I think they are both going to be all in on the baby makin 

[PurpleCats]

We all day around expecting a quick baby turnaround from Michael Bates too, but years later and they’re still without child.  While Abbie isn’t old by any standard, she is likely not quite as fertile as a 19 year old Joy (who comes from fertile genes) or an 18 year old Lauren.  

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Not directing this at anyone and it’s not snark, but something I’ve never understood.

Why do people care about the personal happiness of people they see on TV?

there are a handful of celebrities who I really like, if they are in the news I read it....I feel bad if they die or bad things happen.  But I feel some distant celebrity emotional investment because I’m a fan.

Is there something different going on here?  it comes up with Michaeal Bates a lot as well - where people would love to see her become a mom because it means so much to her.

i get a general compassion over something bad happening like loss or other death...In the way people feel bad if anything bad happens to strangers - but the wish for their personal happiness is something I don’t understand.

 

[Melissa1977]

14 minutes ago, PurpleCats said:

We all day around expecting a quick baby turnaround from Michael Bates too, but years later and they’re still without child.  While Abbie isn’t old by any standard, she is likely not quite as fertile as a 19 year old Joy (who comes from fertile genes) or an 18 year old Lauren.  

Abbie is twenty something. At that age fertility is very high!!!. Fertility decreases as you approach 40, not 30. But not everybody has the same "fertility level", even at young ages.

Also there is need 2 people to make a baby. I can't get why posts about fertility always forget the men! Kelly and Michelle would have had no babies at all, despite their fertility, if they hadn't had very fertile husbands.

We don't know if Abbie is fertile, if JD is fertile or if they are using BC. Some  Duggars are clearly spacing babies or keeping some kind of birth control (Jill, Jessa after Henry, Jinger). Some of them may be low fertile, but I highly doubt all of them are. 

[theotherelise]

@HerNameIsBuffy - I can't speak to that exactly and mostly I think it's weird to wish for something to happen to someone because it makes absolutely no difference what you want to happen. Especially someone you don't know because they can't even feel gratitude that you are invested in their happiness.

That said, I took a bit of a break after Joy/Austin's loss because the response really affected me personally. Everyone was over the top filled with sympathy and well wishes for them. Yet people regularly say they don't want Michaela to become pregnant. As an infertile myself, I was really emotional about how people were treating the Forsyth's situation as terribly sad meanwhile Michaela's situation is okay because it's a good thing that less babies are born into these families. The way people talk about Michaela feels really callous sometimes, especially compared to how much care and concern was shared over the Forsyths. I didn't post at all about this during the aftermath because I do think it's sad that Joy's baby died and I don't want anyone else who has gone through loss to feel like it didn't matter. But it reinforced my experiences wherein people who go through miscarriage or still birth are given an outpouring of sympathy and support while I have publicly shared my infertility for the past year and a half with very little support. (This support for loss is still a step in the right direction IMO because it didn't used to elicit any support and many still don't feel supported. Just not feeling the love where I sit!). Caveat: I'm not saying my response to this was healthy - thus my break - but it does illustrate my point.

I wonder if others do similar things by seeing themselves in the people followed here. You can understand the loneliness that a SAHD might feel and recognize in her something you've felt and as such have a hope that she might find someone, just like you hope your own loneliness will be resolved. Do I want Michael to give birth to a baby that she blanket trains and who has to follow the narrow headship mandates? No, of course not. But as a person, I empathize with her pain. I really, really get it. I don't think my feelings of sympathy toward the Keilens' situation should be viewed differently from those who empathized with the Forsyths, but they are.

But again, if I'm going to root for something, it is that they get out of the spotlight, stop forcing their beliefs on everyone, and raise their children to make their own choices. The babies will or won't happen. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

@HerNameIsBuffy - I can't speak to that exactly and mostly I think it's weird to wish for something to happen to someone because it makes absolutely no difference what you want to happen. Especially someone you don't know because they can't even feel gratitude that you are invested in their happiness.

That said, I took a bit of a break after Joy/Austin's loss because the response really affected me personally. Everyone was over the top filled with sympathy and well wishes for them. Yet people regularly say they don't want Michaela to become pregnant. As an infertile myself, I was really emotional about how people were treating the Forsyth's situation as terribly sad meanwhile Michaela's situation is okay because it's a good thing that less babies are born into these families. The way people talk about Michaela feels really callous sometimes, especially compared to how much care and concern was shared over the Forsyths. I didn't post at all about this during the aftermath because I do think it's sad that Joy's baby died and I don't want anyone else who has gone through loss to feel like it didn't matter. But it reinforced my experiences wherein people who go through miscarriage or still birth are given an outpouring of sympathy and support while I have publicly shared my infertility for the past year and a half with very little support. (This support for loss is still a step in the right direction IMO because it didn't used to elicit any support and many still don't feel supported. Just not feeling the love where I sit!). Caveat: I'm not saying my response to this was healthy - thus my break - but it does illustrate my point.

I wonder if others do similar things by seeing themselves in the people followed here. You can understand the loneliness that a SAHD might feel and recognize in her something you've felt and as such have a hope that she might find someone, just like you hope your own loneliness will be resolved. Do I want Michael to give birth to a baby that she blanket trains and who has to follow the narrow headship mandates? No, of course not. But as a person, I empathize with her pain. I really, really get it. I don't think my feelings of sympathy toward the Keilens' situation should be viewed differently from those who empathized with the Forsyths, but they are.

But again, if I'm going to root for something, it is that they get out of the spotlight, stop forcing their beliefs on everyone, and raise their children to make their own choices. The babies will or won't happen. 

This makes so much sense and thank you for sharing that.

i have seen how painful infertility can be because of someone close to me and while I cant pretend to have experienced your pain I’ve seen how brutal it is and I’m so sorry you haven’t gotten the support you need.  

[RosyDaisy]

I cannot empathize with someone who will raise their children in that evil cult. I empathize with those they and their evil have hurt and will continue to hurt.

[singsingsing]

I mean, I can read an anonymous comment on Reddit and wish that person well, hope for something specific to happen to them because it would make them happy, etc. Isn’t that just part of being human? It’s more complicated when it comes to people like the Duggars or Bateses, where I don’t wish them ill but I can’t wish more children on them for obvious reasons. I default to wishing that they will abandon their destructive religious and political ideology and be happy. Unrealistic, sure, but it’s the most logical and empathetic thing to wish for them.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

49 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I mean, I can read an anonymous comment on Reddit and wish that person well, hope for something specific to happen to them because it would make them happy, etc. Isn’t that just part of being human? It’s more complicated when it comes to people like the Duggars or Bateses, where I don’t wish them ill but I can’t wish more children on them for obvious reasons. I default to wishing that they will abandon their destructive religious and political ideology and be happy. Unrealistic, sure, but it’s the most logical and empathetic thing to wish for them.

I think it’s human nature to be compassionate, I wish no ill on any of these people ...unless the kids breaking away from he hate would upset their parents and I’m happily be okay wishing that.

What I’m trying to understand is the emotional investment in people in media of whom you’re not a fan (universal you) and are actively harming people by selling their lifestyle.