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HerNameIsBuffy

Jana 9: So, What is Jana (and her Instagram) Being Primed For and Why?

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Depressed
tabitha2

Unfortunately As she gets older it will get harder to find a man her age as the best of them will have been married a couple of years already  And to be real those who aren’t married yet may want a younger livelier girl. 

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FaithAndReason
42 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

Unfortunately As she gets older it will get harder to find a man her age as the best of them will have been married a couple of years already  And to be real those who aren’t married yet may want a younger livelier girl. 

There's at least 57 Arndt man-boys to choose from......:tw_joy:

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Depressed
tabitha2

Yeah like I said... slim pickens.

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Spent
finnlassie
On 5/22/2019 at 5:07 PM, SassyPants said:

Personally, I applaud when a Duggar shows some independent, individual leanings and do no march exactly to the beat of JB’s fundie drum.

I'm now singing "My heart is beating like a fundie druuuum" in my head...

 

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Wine time!
OyToTheVey

Honestly, it's not even in fundieland that it's like this. I'm almost 36 never married. Men are slim pickings everywhere. I get a lot of the 60 year olds that want a much younger wife or the ones that have never gotten out of their moms basements at 40. I really wish I was exaggerating. But it might also be that I'm in NYC and choosing a guy here is really difficult. I don't fault Jana for waiting. Her pickings are even slimmer than mine. Her target demographic is tiny and they mostly get married in their early 20's. I mean look at her sisters husbands. I think the only one that's got real potential is Ben. But that's also because Jessa snagged him at 19 and he's young enough to mold. Plus he seems to be growing as a person. 

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Nervous
Daisy0322
13 hours ago, Kaylo said:

I think Jana isn’t married because she hasn’t met the right guy yet. That’s it. No noble sacrifice for the siblings or desire for less kids, just hasn’t met the man she wants to marry yet. Everything else is just fan fiction.

I agree however I question why she hasn't met the right one? Im sure she has plenty of offers. I kind of think the finding Prince Charming book maybe set unrealistic expectations? 

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Nervous
Daisy0322
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

I agree however I question why she hasn't met the right one? Im sure she has plenty of offers. I kind of think the finding Prince Charming book maybe set unrealistic expectations? I don't think she has any more goals or different aspirations than her sisters. I just think this cult creates too much pressure by only getting to know very few people and setting such falsely perfect ideas of marriage on them. 

Sorry part of my original post got eaten

Edited by Daisy0322

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CaptainFunderpants
On 5/13/2019 at 5:59 PM, Ivycoveredtower said:

I know it was a joke and I chuckled but considering who number 18 is in Duggar land this is actually just sad, poor forgotten Jordyn, always second best to Miracle Josie, she got the most gypped. 

Hannie is the first girl after a slue of boys so thats' special. Jenny has Jill as a buddy/Mom and as much as you can say about Jill she seems to really care for her Buddy's and still be very active in their lives. then their is Jordyn forgotten, just another girl in a sea of girls including not only being pushed aside by Josie but also Mackenzie who was the first Grandugger so that's special.  her buddy was Jessa who loves Jordyn I'm sure but never wanted to play mommy to her buddy's and who can really blame her, 

I thought Jordyn was actually pretty close to Jessa and Ben? It was Jordyn that Jessa revealed Spurg's gender to first, and then pretty sure that it's Jordyn that's always reaching to hold Henry. Seems like in many ways she has a sibling relationship with the Seewald kids, which would be a solid outcome in this particular situation, especially considering that Ben's siblings aren't nearly so strict on the gender norms.

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Someone Out There
21 hours ago, Kaylo said:

I think Jana isn’t married because she hasn’t met the right guy yet. That’s it. No noble sacrifice for the siblings or desire for less kids, just hasn’t met the man she wants to marry yet. Everything else is just fan fiction.

It could also be that what she wants/has liked in a man is different to what Jim Bob considers acceptable and she is unwilling (understandably) to sacrifice contact with her family for love.  Or while there may or may not be more flexibility now, when she was younger someone was deemed unacceptable.

I wouldn't be surprised if it's just that she hasn't found the right person yet.

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jillsdopplerofdoom

It's entirely possible that Jana doesn't want to get married at all deep down. I know that is probably the goal for Jim Bob but some people are just happy being single or want to get married later in life. Jana seems quite happy doing the interior design/home renovations/gardening. 

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Smee

I believe her when she says she hasn’t found the right guy, and her sisters when they say she’s “picky”. But I also think she’s got slim pickings and doesn’t want to be married SO BADLY that she’ll “settle”. If I were her, with nieces and nephews and garden and piano, no expectations to work and no guy sweeping me off my feet, I’d rather stay single and look for satisfaction in that life than marry someone for the sake of being married. Just because she *could* make a relationship work with Mr Okay doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea to keep waiting for Mr Right.

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Mrs Ms

She can only say yes or no to offers, she can’t actually initiate anything herself (in her culture)

Which breaks my heart, because if I hadn’t made the first 200 or so moves, my partner of more than 15 years would STILL be wondering if I liked him back 🙄

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HurricaneBells
14 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

I agree however I question why she hasn't met the right one? Im sure she has plenty of offers. I kind of think the finding Prince Charming book maybe set unrealistic expectations? 

I was 33 when i met the love of my life after many a decent guy who i just werent "my one", should i have settled before that just because I was no longer 21? This is not a Jana or fundie thing and given the patriachial bullshit setup she is in, I would hold out for the best of the best too. 

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TheMustardCardigan

I believe Jana is deep in the cult but isn’t willing to marry just any guy to get out of her parents’ house. So she waits.

At least the dating pool isn’t only restricted to men from giant Quiverfull families. Of course, Jim Bob has to approve after going over the 40 page form 🙄 and Jana can never make the first move. But that being said, Duggar girls have mostly married guys from smaller families. Austin and Derick only have one brother each. Jeremy has two siblings. Only Ben is from a larger family. Seems to me that the Duggars are more focused on making sure the sons get with girls whose families are thoroughly rooted in their own cult, which is interesting because purity culture is so focused on controlling women. 

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Depressed
melon
18 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

I thought Jordyn was actually pretty close to Jessa and Ben? It was Jordyn that Jessa revealed Spurg's gender to first, and then pretty sure that it's Jordyn that's always reaching to hold Henry. Seems like in many ways she has a sibling relationship with the Seewald kids, which would be a solid outcome in this particular situation, especially considering that Ben's siblings aren't nearly so strict on the gender norms.

I thought Jordyn was Jessa's buddy,and that's why she revealed Spurg's gender to her.She cried,too when one of the older girls got married,so did Jenni when Jill and Joy got married..maybe before,too.

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VelociRapture
1 hour ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

I believe Jana is deep in the cult but isn’t willing to marry just any guy to get out of her parents’ house. So she waits.

At least the dating pool isn’t only restricted to men from giant Quiverfull families. Of course, Jim Bob has to approve after going over the 40 page form 🙄 and Jana can never make the first move. But that being said, Duggar girls have mostly married guys from smaller families. Austin and Derick only have one brother each. Jeremy has two siblings. Only Ben is from a larger family. Seems to me that the Duggars are more focused on making sure the sons get with girls whose families are thoroughly rooted in their own cult, which is interesting because purity culture is so focused on controlling women. 

I believe Austin actually has three siblings. I’m pretty sure he has two older siblings through his father, in addition to his older sister Meghan (who shares both parents with him.) But yes, most of them have married into smaller families and most of them have married into non-IBLP families as well - Austin is the exception to that. 

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AprilQuilt
1 hour ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

Seems to me that the Duggars are more focused on making sure the sons get with girls whose families are thoroughly rooted in their own cult, which is interesting because purity culture is so focused on controlling women. 

Because theirs is a cult beneficial to men. Plenty of young men from 'outside' would find it an attractive set-up, being the locus of a family in which he is unequivocally in charge, with an ignorant, biddable wife who spends all her energy keeping sweet and being joyfully available, who stays home and defers to him, and perpetuates that culture through their kids. There is no possibility of shame - of his wife being better educated, more intellectual or higher paid. He's delivered from the rat race of working for other people, and therefore from falling short in comparison to others - being passed over for promotions or unpopular in the office. It's this perfect bubble where he is The Best and In Charge simply by virtue of his biology.

There are loads of guys willing to drink that Kool-Aid, but I'm not surprised if young women from more typical conservative Christian backgrounds aren't so tempted. They only stand to lose, not gain. The ones that do are I think mostly a bit lost in some way - they haven't had a stable upbringing, or they feel rootless, or struggle to see their personal value or find the confidence to stick it out by themselves. For them, this kind of structured, rule-driven, family-centred society is attractive. You have a role; you can't be lost.  There's a lot of security in passing over your autonomy.

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Melissa1977
21 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

I thought Jordyn was actually pretty close to Jessa and Ben? It was Jordyn that Jessa revealed Spurg's gender to first, and then pretty sure that it's Jordyn that's always reaching to hold Henry. Seems like in many ways she has a sibling relationship with the Seewald kids, which would be a solid outcome in this particular situation, especially considering that Ben's siblings aren't nearly so strict on the gender norms.

Jessa was very cold with Jordyn. Of course, a teenager being forced to raise her sister is unfair, but Jessa was the less caring sistermom out of the 4 older girls. She absolutely surprised me when she developed such a strong bond and patience and true love with her own kids. 

Maybe adult Jessa has also developed a better (more nurturing) relationship with Jordyn. Maybe even realises that the poor girl deserved a real mom, which never had. If Jessa was brave enough to compare Jordyn's childhood with Spurge&Henry childhood, she couldn't forgive Michelle for neglecting Jordyn so much. But one has to be very brave and strong to let herself think so deeply, because it hurts a lot.

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Depressed
tabitha2

I don’t see why it’s so surprising. Jordyn was just another sibling that got handed her to nannie .Spurgeon  and Henry and Ivey  are children she produced with the man she loves   and grew in her womb for 9 months. I am not as ready to think Jessa is all that sentimental and caring about Jordyn now either because Duggars aren’t that introspective and thoughtful that anyone  has seen though I am sure now that she is older and more useful in helping they get along alright. 

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Smee
8 hours ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

Seems to me that the Duggars are more focused on making sure the sons get with girls whose families are thoroughly rooted in their own cult, which is interesting because purity culture is so focused on controlling women. 

I wonder how reflective that is of JB and Michelle’s relationship. For all their talk of headship and womanly submission, Michelle has a lot of influence- I believe someone on here recently referred to her as “the neck that turns the head” and I think the size of their family had as much to do with Michelle’s addiction to pregnancy as it did to “leaving it up to God”. Josiah seems like he’d be easily led, so getting a girl steeped in kool-aid was pretty important, whereas Jessa is more likely to influence Ben more fundie than he is to pull her away from the cult. Timing may also have had something to do with it, the boys (except Josh) were married off after their sisters and maybe JB and Michelle decided after Jinger that they would be more limited in who to accept. I imagine, given the pants-wearing, hair-dyeing, nose-piercing, small-families of Jill and Jinger, any future daughter marriages will be to IBLP families.

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BachelorToTheRapture
10 hours ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

I believe Jana is deep in the cult but isn’t willing to marry just any guy to get out of her parents’ house. So she waits.

At least the dating pool isn’t only restricted to men from giant Quiverfull families. Of course, Jim Bob has to approve after going over the 40 page form 🙄 and Jana can never make the first move. But that being said, Duggar girls have mostly married guys from smaller families. Austin and Derick only have one brother each. Jeremy has two siblings. Only Ben is from a larger family. Seems to me that the Duggars are more focused on making sure the sons get with girls whose families are thoroughly rooted in their own cult, which is interesting because purity culture is so focused on controlling women. 

I've read that evangelicals in general are much more female than male, so I wonder if it's just easier to find women who share all the same beliefs than men. 

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Hisey
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I don’t see why it’s so surprising. Jordyn was just another sibling that got handed her to nannie .Spurgeon  and Henry and Ivey  are children she produced with the man she loves   and grew in her womb for 9 months. I am not as ready to think Jessa is all that sentimental and caring about Jordyn now either because Duggars aren’t that introspective and thoughtful that anyone  has seen though I am sure now that she is older and more useful in helping they get along alright. 

I think she was very cold to Jordyn and it made me think she was a crappy person. Just because something is unfair doesn’t mean you get to be cold and unloving to a  little girl. It was unfair to Jill and Jana too, but they managed to be kind.

I hope Jessa feels badly about what a bad “nannie” she was to her little sister. Because it left Jordyn with no one.

Edited by Hisey
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Satisfied
HerNameIsBuffy
10 hours ago, Smee said:

I wonder how reflective that is of JB and Michelle’s relationship. For all their talk of headship and womanly submission, Michelle has a lot of influence- I believe someone on here recently referred to her as “the neck that turns the head” and I think the size of their family had as much to do with Michelle’s addiction to pregnancy as it did to “leaving it up to God”. Josiah seems like he’d be easily led, so getting a girl steeped in kool-aid was pretty important, whereas Jessa is more likely to influence Ben more fundie than he is to pull her away from the cult. Timing may also have had something to do with it, the boys (except Josh) were married off after their sisters and maybe JB and Michelle decided after Jinger that they would be more limited in who to accept. I imagine, given the pants-wearing, hair-dyeing, nose-piercing, small-families of Jill and Jinger, any future daughter marriages will be to IBLP families.

This.  I have felt from the beginning Michelle calls all the shots in that relationship and JB exists to do her bidding.  

This reinforces that - men do what they’re told so have to find a kool-aid marinated helpmeet.

 

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justmy2cents
4 hours ago, Hisey said:

I think she was very cold to Jordyn and it made me think she was a crappy person. Just because something is unfair doesn’t mean you get to be cold and unloving to a  little girl. It was unfair to Jill and Jana too, but they managed to be kind.

I hope Jessa feels badly about what a bad “nannie” she was to her little sister. Because it left Jordyn with no one.

That's really unfair to Jessa. First of all, we only saw what the producers chose to show us. Jessa was all business. 'Don't mess with Jess'. It's not her job to be nurturing to her Mother's children. That would be Michelle's job. The only thing I would expect of her is to not be cruel, and we have no reason to believe she was. Jessa is someone who keeps a cool head and didn't run on her emotions. There's nothing wrong with that. They seem close enough now so she was probably more affectionate when the cameras were turned off. 

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seraaa
On 6/2/2019 at 2:25 AM, jqlgoblue said:

I would guess that Jana would like to be married but it looks like not enough to settle which looks to be her likely situation. The TTH and JB's headship is better than settling.

This has always seemed likely and makes sense, to be honest. Her life seems fine currently, and you're not going to trade a good situation for one which you deem less good just for the sake of it. I'm sure she will marry, if and when she does, when she finds someone worth leaving her current life for.

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