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HerNameIsBuffy

Jana 9: So, What is Jana (and her Instagram) Being Primed For and Why?

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Wine time!
closetcagebaby

@Maggie Mae you’ve made me miss my hometown terribly. I miss good Thai food!!

too bad about the horrible political situation - dunleavy can go straight to hell for what he’s doing to my home state. 

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Depressed
Maggie Mae
29 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

@Maggie Mae you’ve made me miss my hometown terribly. I miss good Thai food!!

too bad about the horrible political situation - dunleavy can go straight to hell for what he’s doing to my home state. 

Dunleavy is a disaster. What gets me is the people who still support him! It makes no sense. Just like Trump and his minions. 

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princessmahina
2 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

The Tabitha Paine thing HAUNTS me.

I hope so much that he’s actually reformed and an okay guy and they think each other are absolutely amazing and everyday is sunshine and happiness for them. Because the alternative is horrifying.  

 

But that seems way way too good to be true. 

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Fundie Bunny
20 hours ago, princessmahina said:

I hope so much that he’s actually reformed and an okay guy and they think each other are absolutely amazing and everyday is sunshine and happiness for them. Because the alternative is horrifying.  

 

But that seems way way too good to be true. 

I hate to say it, but I doubt rapists stop raping if the only therapy they get is " oh, poor thing, she was a stripper slut who was asking for it, you were practically forced to put your dick in her ass"

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Sops2

Tabitha at sister Abby Paine's wedding in August. I think I remember seeing another photo which had him in it too

20190911_223011.jpg

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theotherelise

poor poor poor Tabitha. She's probably hateful about many people, but that marriage is a tragedy. 

On Jana, as always, it is tempting for everyone to imprint their thoughts on her because she still doesn't share much of her personality or thoughts. Even with instagram, Jana is pretty private. But with the Duggars, the best bet is to take them literally and seriously. Jana believes what her family believes because that's what she says. She believes in their courtship model. She hasn't gotten married because she hasn't found the man she believes God intends her to marry. Being single is hard for her sometimes. She thinks her parents are great parents (thus would have no reason to stay at home to protect the little ones).

I would love it if there were data here, but it certainly feels like there is an inverted bell curve of marriage to age among the IBPL type families. Many seem to get married 18-22, but there are also plenty who get married in their 30s. This is based on nothing, just my *feelings*.

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Giddy
FluffySnowball

It’s incredibly sad to think this creepy man is the only one Tabitha is allowed to have sex with. While not the most important thing in life, it’s still crucial to have an enjoyable sex life, however that may look like (sex with only one partner of the same or opposite gender, various sexual partners, masturbation, and a thousand other things I can’t think of now). That’s connected to having the freedom to educate oneself about sex (practices, etc.) and to be at liberty to explore and learn. Tabitha doesn’t have all this but is  literally stuck with a rapist. 

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singsingsing

I think debating about why Jana is 'still single' is about as useful as debating about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, to be honest. I'm not trying to shut down the discussion, but we've been debating this for years and the answer is basically that we don't know. Jana herself recently claimed that she's courted or dated different guys and that she just hasn't found the right one yet, so we know that she is interested in getting married, but that's about it. We have no idea why those relationships ended or why she hasn't found someone yet. It could be that she has insane standards, that her parents are throwing roadblocks up, that she's smarter about choosing a mate than others, or it could be as simple as just not having met the right person yet.

She's only 29. Even in the fundie world, 29 isn't that old for the marriage market. I really hope she doesn't end up with a guy like Tabitha Paine's husband, too, but the reality is that she's a kool-aid drinker and that's a huge risk for her at any age. Just look at Anna. She married Josh Duggar at the ripe old age of 20. 😕

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raspberrymint

I would never disavow my parents in a very public way so that everyone in the world, including them, knows it came from me.  Jana's only seen platform is that public.

I moved states and changed my name to avoid coming out to my parents, because they're that bad.

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Mama Mia

All this talk about Jana being 29, and looking for Mr. Right, and what will happen in a couple of years reminded me of this hilarious song 

 

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FleeJanaFree
On 9/11/2019 at 7:11 PM, singsingsing said:

 Jana herself recently claimed that she's courted or dated different guys and that she just hasn't found the right one yet, so we know that she is interested in getting married, but that's about it. We have no idea why those relationships ended or why she hasn't found someone yet. 😕

whoa, what?

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QuiverFullofBooks
52 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

whoa, what?

She said that guys have been interested and she’s considered relationships, not that she’s been in one.

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AnnaRuk09
56 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

whoa, what?

She commented this back in April on Instagram. She said “courted” and “dated” but I assume what she meant was there were “get to know you” dates and phases that never evolved into a serious relationship, i.e. a real courtship, like what we’ve seen play out with her siblings. 

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singsingsing
10 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

She said that guys have been interested and she’s considered relationships, not that she’s been in one.

No, she specifically said that she has ‘courted’ or dated different guys.

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viii

She has definitely been in a relationship, if not more than once. It’s obviously never gone far, though, and has ended before it became public knowledge. 

I’m sure someone can answer this - are we more likely to find out someone is courting once they’ve already been together for a bit and an engagement is looming close? Or do they announce it quite early on?

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Wine time!
Snarkasarus Rex
44 minutes ago, viii said:

She has definitely been in a relationship, if not more than once. It’s obviously never gone far, though, and has ended before it became public knowledge. 

I’m sure someone can answer this - are we more likely to find out someone is courting once they’ve already been together for a bit and an engagement is looming close? Or do they announce it quite early on?

For the Duggars, we tend to find out around/shortly after the courtposal and well after the 'special friends' phase.  I don't see them ever making a relationship public before the courtposal, although the Howler/Lauren Caldwell relationship will turn out to be the worst kept secret ever.  Otherwise, they've kept the last few relationships under wraps pretty well. 

The Bates are less secretive...e.g., t was pretty obvious Trace and Chaney were 'special friends' long before they made a formal dating announcement.

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QuiverFullofBooks

I went back to the April Instagram comment (via a screenshot here - I couldn’t find it on Instagram). Someone had asked Jana if she’s a lesbian. After saying she’s not interested in girls, she said “I have “courted” or “dated” a few guys, but so far nothing has gone into a serious relationship.”

So yeah, she did say that she’s courted, but also that it wasn’t serious. FJ concluded that she’s been in the “getting to know you” phase a few times, and fell back on the standard Duggar vocabulary without realizing that she was contradicting herself.

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AnnaRuk09

@viii As Snarkasarus mentioned, we pretty much find out directly after the guy formally asks the girl to start courting. If I remember correctly, we found out Jill was in a relationship seeing her with a guy in a picture, and it was shortly confirmed after that. Ben was introduced when he was getting to know Jessa in a close friendship. Josiah and Marjorie was announced all of a sudden. TLC hinted something was going on with Jinger in that El Salvador episode, and a courtship was announced a couple months after that episode aired. It appears that Joy was getting to know Austin for several months before it was announced. And as already mentioned, the recent ones were kept hidden pretty well.

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Happy
Daisy0322

How far was Josiah and the milkshake girl into their courting when the josh scandals came out and she called it off? 

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Fundie Bunny
3 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

How far was Josiah and the milkshake girl into their courting when the josh scandals came out and she called it off? 

Shortly before the Ashley Madison thing I believe. The family was in radio silence by then, so I could be wrong

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BullyJBG
On 9/10/2019 at 3:15 PM, princessmahina said:

I hope so much that he’s actually reformed and an okay guy and they think each other are absolutely amazing and everyday is sunshine and happiness for them. Because the alternative is horrifying.  

 

But that seems way way too good to be true. 

Well all we see so far is, they're still together and appear to be happy, and no kids yet.(?) And their social media presence is severely limited; maybe they DO have accounts that only the closest family can see. That part is good, because if they showed any more, there'd be nothing they could do right. Unless there's people standing by to take Tabitha in if she leaves him, like there was for Anna.

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CarrotCake

For Jill, Jinger and Joy we only found out once they were actually already (almost) engaged right?

Edited by CarrotCake

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AnnaRuk09

Here are her words. The way she worded this was weird. What would of course give us an answer is knowing her definition of "courted" and "dated" and what she defines as a "serious relationship". People took this to mean the "get to know you" phase. To me, this would make the most sense. If they were real courtships/relationships, then what the heck would she consider to be a serious relationship?

We also have to take into account that our idea of a relationship or dating is obviously radically different than her's - which is kinda weird she used the word courted in a rather casual way here. But perhaps she didn’t mean the Duggar definition of “courted” and that’s why she put it in parentheses. 

26853863-CA63-4D90-8A0E-7D9E598B98EB.jpeg

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SassyPants

Well if she has courted a few guys, wouldn’t that mean, per Duggar definition, that Jana has given away pieces of her heart? Would she be considered damaged goods by her fundie circle? Maybe in her cult “ a few guys” leads others to believe that this is a pattern for her and that she thinks she’s too good for anyone in her circle?  And before anyone jumps my comment, remember, these are purportedly Jana’s own words. 

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Wine time!
Snarkasarus Rex

Yeah, I was surprised she actually used the word ‘dated’ in her post, even if it was in quotes.  Because dating = sex to them.  

Or maybe they do realize people date without being in a sexual relationship, but they just want to be extra (in Jesus’ name of course).

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