Joy & Austin 27 - Joy and Austin lost baby Annabell, TRIGGER WARNING miscarriage and stillbirth

[HerNameIsBuffy]

10 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

Armchair analyse. 

I know all these girls most probably do need major therapy. 

But other than normal hormonal swings, that shit ain’t normal honey. 

This is quite alarming to me... 

I am sure it would rate quite highly on the checklist diagnostic for depression too.  

And you don’t need to air your dirty laundry (not that mental health is a bad thing) to make him look like a hero. If he helps you when times are tough, that’s all you need to say. 

I wish her a healthy safe delivery. Part of me wants a doctor ordered in advance no chance no way no how go directly to hospital don’t disobey c section. 

That will be the only thing to slow her fundie womb down. 

I think this is an extreme interpretation of a young woman who has been pregnant twice in the last few years talking about mood swings.  

[AussieKrissy]

1 minute ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I think this is an extreme interpretation of a young woman who has been pregnant twice in the last few years talking about mood swings.  

True, possibly.  But if so, also sad that she doesn’t know marriage without the pregnancy mood swings. 

 

[WarriorJane]

I hope Joy doesn't spend the rest of her life apologizing for not being good enough.   ?  Makes me so sad.  

And fundy men, if you are going to keep your wives perpetually  pregnant,  you'd better expect and accept some mood swings.   

[Timetraveler]

I am not trying to be rude at all, my comment has nothing to do with looks-size etc., I am just honestly curious and I do not know that much about pregnancies in general. I saw a picture of Joy at Carlin's wedding, and I thought she already looked quite....big for being due in November? Again, not trying to bodyshame and I probably do not now anything about pregnancies, I just really hope she gets regular check-ups and hopefully has a smaller baby this time.

[Italiangirl]

It was already discussed in her last pregnancy, basically Joy is petite and ha a shorter torso than some of her sister (jill for example) so she look bigger earlier than someother, plus if you compare her actual photo with one at sme time in her last pregnancy you see than she is basicalthe same size if not a little bit smaller (could be the dress or the color that really suits her, she look really good and so it looks smaller)

[SassyPants]

52 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

It was already discussed in her last pregnancy, basically Joy is petite and ha a shorter torso than some of her sister (jill for example) so she look bigger earlier than someother, plus if you compare her actual photo with one at sme time in her last pregnancy you see than she is basicalthe same size if not a little bit smaller (could be the dress or the color that really suits her, she look really good and so it looks smaller)

She also had a 10+ baby, so it had a lot to do with the size of the passenger too. Joy was big early last time, but at the end, despite harboring a huge infant, I thought she carried it well.

[VelociRapture]

Joy could simply be referring to pregnancy induced hormonal swings. She didn’t say that in the post, but she’ll have been pregnant or postpartum for most of their marriage at this point, so it could be implied.

I posted something like that for our first wedding anniversary actually. I was 30 weeks pregnant at the time and it was in the context of, “this first year has been both great and tough and I’m sorry I’ve cried a few times over not knowing what I want to eat for lunch because pregnancy is hard, but you’ve done a great job helping me out and you the real MVP!” It was more tongue in cheek than anything, which I doubt Joy’s was. She was probably being serious. 

1 hour ago, Italiangirl said:

It was already discussed in her last pregnancy, basically Joy is petite and ha a shorter torso than some of her sister (jill for example) so she look bigger earlier than someother, plus if you compare her actual photo with one at sme time in her last pregnancy you see than she is basicalthe same size if not a little bit smaller (could be the dress or the color that really suits her, she look really good and so it looks smaller)

Yep! Women with shorter torsos can definitely show sooner because the baby has nowhere to grow except out. The way your uterus is tipped can also make a difference - mine is apparently tipped towards my back and that can make the bump appear smaller apparently (until the uterus repositions itself as the baby grows bigger.)

There’s also the fact that many women tend to show quicker if it’s not their first pregnancy. The abdominal muscles tend to stretch more easily after the first baby. For instance, with my daughter I probably started showing closer to 16 or 17 weeks. This time I was showing before the first trimester was even over, though I’m still tiny enough now at 14 weeks to conceal the bump with baggy clothes if I want to. I want to say showing a month sooner is pretty typical for second (or third, etc.) time moms. 

[nickelodeon]

They might be talking about pregnancy stress, but I seem to remember that at Joy and Austin's wedding, Jill told Austin to "just rub her back or something" if "you don't understand why she's crying". I wouldn't be surprised if Joy's been made to feel super self-conscious about feeling things other than the three approved emotions:

1. #blessed
2. mad about abortion
3. family fun!

[viii]

From the little bits I've seen of Joy on the two shows, plus her social media, she reminds me a lot of a former friend that is still in the fundie world. Both of them struggle with expressing their emotions, making a decision, and praising their husbands for things that should just be expected. It makes me sad. 

[SassyPants]

5 minutes ago, viii said:

From the little bits I've seen of Joy on the two shows, plus her social media, she reminds me a lot of a former friend that is still in the fundie world. Both of them struggle with expressing their emotions, making a decision, and praising their husbands for things that should just be expected. It makes me sad. 

She is quite young and so immature. Really far too young and immature  to  have children. Not sure that her “village” is any true help.

[viii]

10 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

She is quite young and so immature. Really far too young and immature  to  have children. Not sure that her “village” is any true help.

I agree - I think the wedding episode showed how truly young Joy is, and she was in no way prepared for marriage and motherhood. I just get a deep sense of sadness from Joy, and I think she is forcing herself to believe in this lifestyle, and she's doing her damnest to stifle that little voice in the back of her mind. 

Edited May 27, 2019 by viii

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, viii said:

I agree - I think the wedding episode showed how truly young Joy is, and she was in no way prepared for marriage and motherhood. I just get a deep sense of sadness from Joy, and I think she is forcing herself to believe in this lifestyle, and she's doing her damnest to stifle that little voice in the back of her mind. 

I sometimes think that if Austin ever got a thought in his head aside from what his daddy tells him, and said fuck this, lets go, Joy would hop on the back of what ever and go with him. They are both trying extra hard to make this lifestyle work for them. 

[nastyhobbitses]

4 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I sometimes think that if Austin ever got a thought in his head aside from what his daddy tells him, and said fuck this, lets go, Joy would hop on the back of what ever and go with him. They are both trying extra hard to make this lifestyle work for them. 

I saw Follies a couple months ago and, as always, Sondheim has a lyric for this:

You take your road
The decades fly
The yearnings fade, the longings die
You learn to bid them all goodbye
And oh, the peace
The blessed peace
At last you come to know

[fluffernutter]

So here's a sobering thought I just had. If she has a repeat c-section, then yes, she should limit the number of pregnancies she has. However, having c-sections won't make it more difficult for her to get pregnant. So really and truly, if these people believe god is in control and fill the quiver and all that wouldn't she just keep having babies and having babies? At the risk of her LIFE?! Because she certainly would never terminate. Her lordship would have to put the kibosh on her getting pregnant. Does anyone think he would actually do that? 

[Carm_88]

I have a pretty short torso, so eating a big meal can make me look pretty pregnant. Which is unfortunate. 

I hate all the buzz words that fundies use in their posts "doing life with you" "married my best friend" "spiritual leader", it feels like if you scrambled them together, you couldn't tell who wrote what! 

[viii]

47 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

So here's a sobering thought I just had. If she has a repeat c-section, then yes, she should limit the number of pregnancies she has. However, having c-sections won't make it more difficult for her to get pregnant. So really and truly, if these people believe god is in control and fill the quiver and all that wouldn't she just keep having babies and having babies? At the risk of her LIFE?! Because she certainly would never terminate. Her lordship would have to put the kibosh on her getting pregnant. Does anyone think he would actually do that? 

I think Austin cares for his wife, the best that he knows how to, and I think they would find a way to prevent pregnancy if it ever got to that stage. 

[Carm_88]

4 minutes ago, viii said:

I think Austin cares for his wife, the best that he knows how to, and I think they would find a way to prevent pregnancy if it ever got to that stage. 

I think you have more faith in Austin than I do. I truly don't think that either of them do too much thinking! 

[SassyPants]

29 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I have a pretty short torso, so eating a big meal can make me look pretty pregnant. Which is unfortunate. 

I hate all the buzz words that fundies use in their posts "doing life with you" "married my best friend" "spiritual leader", it feels like if you scrambled them together, you couldn't tell who wrote what! 

Especially when they are referring to people under 25 who have never accomplished a thing solely on their own. No schooling, no hobbies, no real goals beyond what daddy has whispered in their ears, no decisions ever made. It’s almost laughable.

And when presented with an adult decision, like say, getting you or your wife  to a hospital when you’ve /they’ve been in labor for eons, with ruptured membranes and aren’t making adequate progress, you/they stumble.

[viii]

2 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I think you have more faith in Austin than I do. I truly don't think that either of them do too much thinking! 

I'd like to think that if they had six children and the doctors were warning them that another pregnancy would severely threaten Joy's life, then they would... oh, who am I kidding. 

[Bobology]

Back to the suspected "Jana took care of Gideon" during Carlin's wedding... From what I've gathered here, in their culture the married Duggar kids are full adults while the unmarrieds are still 'children' and under JB's ruling, is that right? I know Jana runs the Duggar house, but would Joy's standing as a full adult trump Jana's standing? Could a request by Joy -- can you please watch Gideon during XX timeframe? -- mean Jana kind of needs to comply? Or would JB get involved and tell Jana that the lord has laid it upon his heart that she should help and serve her sister by taking care of the child, therefore Jana really does have to comply? Because that's all JB has to do to get his way, or to help someone else get his/her way.

Do any of you know how this works in their culture?

[AussieKrissy]

3 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I think you have more faith in Austin than I do. I truly don't think that either of them do too much thinking! 

What always make the saddest about no birth control (other than the obvious, stupidity and suppression issues) is the fact that the only way to not fall pregnant is to not have sex when you are fertile.

These kids are young, I am forty and still know when I am fertile, because I am as horny as hell. Thanks Mother Nature!

Sex is pretty dam good when your body wants you to make a baby.

These youngins are avoiding (IMO) the best time to have sex because they don't want to put a condom on? Ripped off I say!

 

[Smee]

I’m tall with a long torso and barely showed until halfway through my pregnancies. A friend from my mother’s group was due with her second around the same time as I was, and if you stood us next to each other it looked like I had a big lunch and she was having twins. But she also came up to my shoulder in height. Her son was born small, too. 

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I think you have more faith in Austin than I do. I truly don't think that either of them do too much thinking! 

Right now, I’m inclined to agree. But given their ages, if in time they’re told to stop having babies by the doctors, I’m not sure how powerful their personal commitments to their parents’ faith are.

[Kayleigh83]

12 hours ago, WarriorJane said:

I hope Joy doesn't spend the rest of her life apologizing for not being good enough.   ?  Makes me so sad.  

And fundy men, if you are going to keep your wives perpetually  pregnant,  you'd better expect and accept some mood swings.   

I agree - that post of hers made me feel sad because of her apologies for her emotions and acting like she is undeserving of love. The rest (being a little over exuberant with the mushy stuff) didn’t bother me because I think that’s just a legitimate way to show affection! But when she diminishes herself like that, I see that as an issue.

7 hours ago, viii said:

I agree - I think the wedding episode showed how truly young Joy is, and she was in no way prepared for marriage and motherhood. I just get a deep sense of sadness from Joy, and I think she is forcing herself to believe in this lifestyle, and she's doing her damnest to stifle that little voice in the back of her mind. 

I get what you mean - almost like they are holding on so tightly to this life, all that they know, all they’ve been pushed and pulled and molded so forcibly into. Some people have personalities that just fit more naturally into that so maybe for them it’s comparatively easy, but perhaps that wasn’t true for either of them and it had to be worked into them. We know it’s true of Joy, based on her own words at Joe’s wedding about having trouble accepting her parents faith. If you remembered the bumpy road you took to feel like you “fit” into that mold, you’d be hanging on like hell to stay on track. So much invested into it already.

[kiwi]

No mention of Austins butt ugly shoes?? A combo of old farm shoes and slippers [emoji23] #buyusedsavethedifference

Hes also packed on the pounds in two years since their wedding pics

[tabitha2]

He looks perfectly healthy  to me. He has some flesh from enjoying his food which to me is more attractive than a man who looks like he will blow away in a strong wind.