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Joy & Austin 27 - Joy and Austin lost baby Annabell, TRIGGER WARNING miscarriage and stillbirth


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@smee

I hear you.  In early 2017 I was told to loose 30 lbs.  Seemed a mighty deed to do.

So I decided to do it over two years.  And it worked.  March 25th I got there.  

All life-style changes.  I don't eat dessert or miss it now.  Cutting added sugar was the best move i ever made.

Best of luck to you, can do it!

 

 

 

 

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On 6/1/2019 at 11:14 PM, feministxtian said:

@Flossie you can tell me to butt out but are you taking vitamin supplements that are specifically for bariatric patients? The reason I'm asking is that the reconstruction done after my husband's pancreatectomy was very similar to the Roux n Y reconstruction used in gastric bypass surgery. He has some problems with vitamin deficiency, specifically Vitamin D, but is in good shape for the rest of them. You can get them OTC from Amazon, they're not that expensive. He takes Bari Melts. 

Again, feel free to tell me to STFU. 

No problem.  I'm not taking any supplements right now except for the Vitamin D3 (10,000 mg) twice a week and two Tums (1000 mg twice a day).  In the past I would take whatever OTC stuff I had in the cupboard like One a Day and stuff like that.  But my doctor doesn't want me taking any other supplements while they're trying to figure out if the Vitamin D and the Tums are having any effect.  It didn't even occur to me to ask if I should be looking at supplements designed especially for bariatric patients.  I'll ask the next time I see my doctor.

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3 hours ago, Flossie said:

No problem.  I'm not taking any supplements right now except for the Vitamin D3 (10,000 mg) twice a week and two Tums (1000 mg twice a day).  In the past I would take whatever OTC stuff I had in the cupboard like One a Day and stuff like that.  But my doctor doesn't want me taking any other supplements while they're trying to figure out if the Vitamin D and the Tums are having any effect.  It didn't even occur to me to ask if I should be looking at supplements designed especially for bariatric patients.  I'll ask the next time I see my doctor.

Butting in on the conversation, but you should ask for special supplements! Depending on the type of surgery your uptake might have been seriously affected (esp for B12), due to the changes in your physiology. Tums/antacids can also affect uptake of several types of vitamins and minerals. Some bariatric patients end up having to do B12 shots, for instance.

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Tossing my vitamin regimen in (over 15 years post-bypass) for GPs. I take a women’s multivitamin, Iron, Calcium, Vitamin D, Fiber every day and a B12 once a week. I’ve been pretty consistent over time and I get tested once a year to check my levels. This last year my iron levels were low so my doc bumped up my dosage and then retested to make sure things were ok. I’ve found you need to be assertive in requesting the annual tests and following the regimen, but I’m doing well and feeling good, so that is a good incentive. Good luck!

Edited by CharlieInCharge
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5 hours ago, Thorns said:

Butting in on the conversation, but you should ask for special supplements! Depending on the type of surgery your uptake might have been seriously affected (esp for B12), due to the changes in your physiology. Tums/antacids can also affect uptake of several types of vitamins and minerals. Some bariatric patients end up having to do B12 shots, for instance.

It is my understanding that the first part of the duodenum that is removed in gastric bypass (Roux n Y) is where much of the vitamins are absorbed into the body. Hubs had about 6 inches removed for the reconstruction, so he has problems with especially the fat soluble vitamins like A, K, and D. The bariatric supplements change the formulation of those vitamins to make them water soluble. The best ones are called ADEK but they're right pricey. The Barimelts do the same job for much less. They have different formulations...

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=barimelts&crid=3B2Q365WDUA57&sprefix=barime%2Caps%2C203&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_6

PS...once again, feel free to tell me to STFU and go away. 

 

Edited by feministxtian
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Just to get in on the pregnancy wait time conversation. I've had one vaginal and one cesarean. My doctor told us to wait 12 months after our natural birth ideally before getting pregnant again. We got pregnant at 11 months post-partum but lost that baby at 12 weeks. We got pregnant again at 15 months with our daughter. That pregnancy ended up being a cesarean delivery due to  placenta previa. I was told to wait 24 months before having another baby because of the cesarean and the placenta previa. She also told me I would not be a good candidate for a vbac because of the history of previa. For me, I had been through enough so we decided to stop while we were ahead and I had my tubes tied. 

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51 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

I see Gideon is already being forward faced ?

I think Arkansas (and some other states) unfortunately has pretty lax car seat laws, at least compared to recommendations by the AAP and laws in other states. So they’re likely fine with having him front facing legally, but from a safety point of view he’s much too young. I read once that kids are safer being rear faced until closer to 4 years old - I think it was something to do with the bone structure not being strong enough to handle a crash forward facing or something. My daughter is 2.5 and was big enough to forward face at her second birthday, but we’re going to try and keep her rear facing as long as possible because of that.

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Grand Wolf 2 was rear facing until he was 4. He was small for his age.

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I wish the laws everywhere would catch up, but I know they are slow to do so often when it comes to carseats/boosters. Two should be the minimum at this point. There are so many more seats on the market at various price points that can accommodate higher weight and height limits for both time spent rear facing and also once they switch forward. It's a whole new world compared to when I was buying a seat for my oldest and at that point there were only two seats on the market in my country that were able to be used for "extended" usuable weight/height limits, and even those two had lower limits here in Canada than they did in the USA for the same seat unfortunately.

It's still seen as a milestone to switch from rear to forward to booster to no booster, when really it is a step down in safety especially when done before the child hits the limits of the seat. It's getting more mainstream to go longer in each stage but it's unfortunate that it is ever seen as a race. 

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I had my first in the US almost 15 years ago and I was so excited that his graco baby seat came with a base. It was still with a belt, but I knew it meant I only had to put it in right one time and it would improve his safety (compared to buckling the seat in if I was in a rush). Our next is just one year old and we live in UK. The amount of safety changes in just those 13-14 years is crazy. I look back on what I though then was a safe seat (I know it was the best I could do at the time) or even the seat I had as a baby that mom searched high and low for because it was one of the safest at the time (no joke, forward faced a newborn in a style that we use for toddlers now, it was the 80s though, the things we learn). I wonder how we survived.

We got Littlest Outta a birth to 18 kg seat (did not see at the time there are ones that go all the way to 25 ?, but he is on the small side and should fit this seat until almost 6 years old). It was a bit scary those first couple of weeks because such a small baby in such a big seat is strange, but it is just about changing what we "see" as normal. I truly think though the one thing that would help extended rear-facing catch on in the US is the swivel feature. Our seat turns to the side (like faces the car door) so I can put him in and out and when I am finished I just pull the handle to swivel back to the rear-facing position. It also is locked through the head rest part that it cannot forward face until he reaches a certain height, but I forget what height it is now since we will not forward face him. Does anyone know if any seats sold in the US have that feature? My cousins kid is about to (actually probably has already, but the won't get her a new seat until they absolutely have to, e.g. someone forces them or buys it for them) outgrow her infant carrier. I would love one to recommend to them. I have not found any though.

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59 minutes ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

I had my first in the US almost 15 years ago and I was so excited that his graco baby seat came with a base. It was still with a belt, but I knew it meant I only had to put it in right one time and it would improve his safety (compared to buckling the seat in if I was in a rush). Our next is just one year old and we live in UK. The amount of safety changes in just those 13-14 years is crazy. I look back on what I though then was a safe seat (I know it was the best I could do at the time) or even the seat I had as a baby that mom searched high and low for because it was one of the safest at the time (no joke, forward faced a newborn in a style that we use for toddlers now, it was the 80s though, the things we learn). I wonder how we survived.

We got Littlest Outta a birth to 18 kg seat (did not see at the time there are ones that go all the way to 25 ?, but he is on the small side and should fit this seat until almost 6 years old). It was a bit scary those first couple of weeks because such a small baby in such a big seat is strange, but it is just about changing what we "see" as normal. I truly think though the one thing that would help extended rear-facing catch on in the US is the swivel feature. Our seat turns to the side (like faces the car door) so I can put him in and out and when I am finished I just pull the handle to swivel back to the rear-facing position. It also is locked through the head rest part that it cannot forward face until he reaches a certain height, but I forget what height it is now since we will not forward face him. Does anyone know if any seats sold in the US have that feature? My cousins kid is about to (actually probably has already, but the won't get her a new seat until they absolutely have to, e.g. someone forces them or buys it for them) outgrow her infant carrier. I would love one to recommend to them. I have not found any though.

I haven’t heard of anything like that. We currently use the Graco Extend 2 Fit 4Ever (I think that’s the full name.) It doesn’t swivel, but it can rear face up to 50 pounds. I’m hoping I can keep it rear facing even as I get bigger throughout this last pregnancy. I’m 16 weeks, have a kid well over 30 pounds, and I’m still going strong, so fingers crossed we can make it happen! 

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I hadn't even heard of extended rear facing until I followed people from the US on twitter that spoke about it, here in the UK the done thing was to rear face as soon as they grew out of the smallest car seat, which was usually about 8 or 9 months. It is only in the past couple of years that people have started to rear face beyond 1 and the government is bringing in legislation. Now I am aware about how much safer it is to extended rear face, I will definitely rear face any child I have as long as possible. I don't judge my sister or brother for not doing it with their children because they didn't know about it and were following the correct guidelines that were issued at the time. I really hope Joy listens to those comments asking her to reconsider rear facing but I suspect she won't.

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9 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I think Arkansas (and some other states) unfortunately has pretty lax car seat laws, at least compared to recommendations by the AAP and laws in other states. So they’re likely fine with having him front facing legally, but from a safety point of view he’s much too young. I read once that kids are safer being rear faced until closer to 4 years old - I think it was something to do with the bone structure not being strong enough to handle a crash forward facing or something. My daughter is 2.5 and was big enough to forward face at her second birthday, but we’re going to try and keep her rear facing as long as possible because of that.

I've read 4 years as the recommendation as well. It has to do with the ossification of their spine (https://csftl.org/why-rear-facing-the-science-junkies-guide/). 

Our two carseats can rear face until 40 and 50 pounds so hopefully they will get us to age 4 but I will buy different car seats if necessary to keep my son rear facing longer (he's pretty lean though so I don't think weight will be an issue). The laws really do need to catch up with the recommendations. My state still only has 1 year as the requirement for rear facing. The general public needs to be better educated and not so stuck on the "well we were/you were fine" mentality. I've had so many people say that is crazy that kids have to rear face for so long and act like its abnormal. A quick video of what happens in a crash when forward vs rear facing makes it pretty obvious which is safer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuZFVPv3Rpk

 

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Question: 

What do you do if your kid gets car sick? Just asking as I myself can not even sit in the back of a car (must be front facing forward) or ride backward on a train, and I’m almost entirely sure that my kids’ inner ears will suck as much as mine. :) 

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40 minutes ago, FundieCentral said:

Question: 

What do you do if your kid gets car sick? Just asking as I myself can not even sit in the back of a car (must be front facing forward) or ride backward on a train, and I’m almost entirely sure that my kids’ inner ears will suck as much as mine. :) 

We had this issue with our youngest. She started to get car sick when she was about 15 months. Then it became a huge deal because she would get so much anxiety about getting into the car she would have a melt down every time we strapped her in the car seat and cry until she puked anyway. Finally at 20 months, the pediatrician said at this point with her anxiety and motion sickness to just turn her. We did and she within a few weeks her anxiety was gone thank god. It helped with her motion sickness so much too. She still will get motion sickness on occasion if were in the care for a long period or the road is really bumpy or there is a lot of stop and go traffic but nothing like she did rear facing. 

 

Edited by Sullie06
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1 hour ago, FundieCentral said:

Question: 

What do you do if your kid gets car sick? Just asking as I myself can not even sit in the back of a car (must be front facing forward) or ride backward on a train, and I’m almost entirely sure that my kids’ inner ears will suck as much as mine. :) 

I don’t have kids but if I did that would be my fear as well. I can’t be rear facing in anything. However, I am ok with riding in the back seat. 

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I was sad but not surprising to see this. He’s a tiny little guy too. He could have easily rear faced another year or two. 

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When my kids were little the recommendation was rear facing until they were 1 year and 20 pounds. #1  was 20 pounds at 6 months, and 40 pounds at 2, and 38" tall He was the size of a 4 year old, there were no seats to keep him rear facing past 18 months (in 1998), we turned him around at 12 months as that is what we were told to do.  DD was much smaller so she was rear facing until 16 months, but she HATED it and screamed and screamed every time she was in her car seat, we actually nicknamed her Princess Road Rage taking her anywhere was a nightmare. The screaming stopped the moment we put her forward facing. 

They keep changing the rules and it is hard to keep up honestly, it isn't like they go to doctors or on line looking for safety information.  They are doing what their parents taught them.  They don't know any better, because they were taught not to think beyond what they are told by mom & dad. 

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2 hours ago, JesSky03 said:

I've read 4 years as the recommendation as well. It has to do with the ossification of their spine (https://csftl.org/why-rear-facing-the-science-junkies-guide/). 

Our two carseats can rear face until 40 and 50 pounds so hopefully they will get us to age 4 but I will buy different car seats if necessary to keep my son rear facing longer (he's pretty lean though so I don't think weight will be an issue). The laws really do need to catch up with the recommendations. My state still only has 1 year as the requirement for rear facing. The general public needs to be better educated and not so stuck on the "well we were/you were fine" mentality. I've had so many people say that is crazy that kids have to rear face for so long and act like its abnormal. A quick video of what happens in a crash when forward vs rear facing makes it pretty obvious which is safer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuZFVPv3Rpk

 

My 6 year old isnt' even 50 lbs yet.... my 10 year old is only 65. 

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1 hour ago, Sullie06 said:

We had this issue with our youngest. She started to get car sick when she was about 15 months. Then it became a huge deal because she would get so much anxiety about getting into the car she would have a melt down every time we strapped her in the car seat and cry until she puked anyway. Finally at 20 months, the pediatrician said at this point with her anxiety and motion sickness to just turn her. We did and she within a few weeks her anxiety was gone thank god. It helped with her motion sickness so much too. She still will get motion sickness on occasion if were in the care for a long period or the road is really bumpy or there is a lot of stop and go traffic but nothing like she did rear facing. 

 

We turned our youngest early as well, for these reasons. My BFF is a ped, and we are both proponents of RF as long as possible (my oldest was RF until she was 3 1/2), but it just wasn't feasible to keep our youngest RF anymore and be able to travel longer than 10-15 minutes without her screaming her head off and puking from choking over her tears. We turned her and she is now a dream to travel with. BF said it would be better if we could have kept her RF, but that the constant screaming wasn't good for her, or us, either and it was an acceptable trade off to turn her FF early. We did wait until after 2, but only barely.

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2 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

Question: 

What do you do if your kid gets car sick? Just asking as I myself can not even sit in the back of a car (must be front facing forward) or ride backward on a train, and I’m almost entirely sure that my kids’ inner ears will suck as much as mine. :) 

Personally? I’d discuss options with my daughter’s Pediatrician. If nothing worked and they gave the ok then I’d turn her at that point if she met state requirements. Most parents who turn early seem to do this, so I usually don’t judge parents who turn their kids for that reason - you have to weigh the risks and benefits for pretty much any parenting decision you make and this is no different. The Duggars are a special exception for me since they’ve shown (in general) that they have a rather lax view on car seat safety in the past. 

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3 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

Question: 

What do you do if your kid gets car sick? Just asking as I myself can not even sit in the back of a car (must be front facing forward) or ride backward on a train, and I’m almost entirely sure that my kids’ inner ears will suck as much as mine. :) 

Our first daughter started getting car sick at nearly 2.5 years old. It was awful, so we tried everything we could think of (distracting her with video - nope. Cooling her with more air - nope. Open window - nope.) so we turned her forward. I am in the camp of rear face as long as possible, but it's really not worth making your kid feel miserable every single time you get in the car... and we are out and about daily and go on long road trips frequently. We just couldn't. I had hoped to keep her rear facing until at least 3, maybe 4, but it wasn't in the cards. Our second is 1.5 now, so I'm just waiting to see if she'll start getting sick in a bit too, or if she has a stronger stomach. I get sick when I face backwards too, so I completely understand the awful feeling. 

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1 hour ago, twoandthrough said:

Our first daughter started getting car sick at nearly 2.5 years old. It was awful, so we tried everything we could think of (distracting her with video - nope. Cooling her with more air - nope. Open window - nope.) so we turned her forward. I am in the camp of rear face as long as possible, but it's really not worth making your kid feel miserable every single time you get in the car... and we are out and about daily and go on long road trips frequently. We just couldn't. I had hoped to keep her rear facing until at least 3, maybe 4, but it wasn't in the cards. Our second is 1.5 now, so I'm just waiting to see if she'll start getting sick in a bit too, or if she has a stronger stomach. I get sick when I face backwards too, so I completely understand the awful feeling. 

It took several decades for me to be able to face backwards on trains or busses. I totally understand parents who decide that they cannot do this to their child any longer. Is it better to have them rear facing? Of course, for as long as it's possible. However, I imagine a toddler throwing a raging fit in their car seat, puking all over the back row, terrorizing their older siblings and screaming their little heads off and I wonder how safe it still is for everyone to face a car situation like that on a daily basis. I'd imagine that a calm and forward facing child with an adult driver, who's completely able to focus on traffic and driving safely, could at one point end up being safer after all. 

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We turned my daughter front facing right before she turned two. She was a little taller than 3 feet and a little under 30 pounds at that point. My husband was putting our infant seat back in the car for our soon to be newborn, then came inside and announced that he'd turned our daughter's seat around. I was like, OK. Because of nine months pregnant brain, I guess. I swear I'm usually all over safety recommendations. I checked and for our state they have the requirements for 1-3 years as "restrained in a forward facing seat." 2 seems to be the age most of my family and friends with small children are turning them around.

The bigger problem with Gideon's seat (not that having a smallish sized one year old front facing isn't a big enough problem) is that he seems to be a little too short for his head to be aligned properly with the neck and head pads.  

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