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Joy & Austin 27 - Joy and Austin lost baby Annabell, TRIGGER WARNING miscarriage and stillbirth


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From the article above on how to protect your privacy:

HOW TO PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY

Mr Sammartino says it’s safest to assume everything we do on the internet is tracked and stored without our permission.

“Remember, the default position of technology is they will automatically ‘opt in’ for you to give them all your data unless you specially change the settings to ‘opt out,’” he said.

“Never log in to other websites using your social media logins like Google or Facebook — this means you’ll be tracked right around the web,” he warned.

“If the device has a microphone, and it’s connected to the internet, you can be sure it’s listening to you.”

Fortunately, mic access can be disconnected across most devices.

IPHONE

Apps: Go to Settings>Privacy>Microphone and turn off access to any app that has requested use of your microphone.

Siri:Go to Settings>Siri & Search to turn off the functions for “Hey Siri”, “Press Side Button for Siri” and “Allow Siri When Locked”.

ANDROID

Apps: The process will vary according to the manufacturer. Try looking in App permissions on the Apps & notifications screen. And again, turn off microphone access to any apps you don’t want to be recorded by.

Google: Go to Settings>Google>Search & Now>Voice to turn off the “OK Google” function.

ALEXA

To hear and possibly delete Alexa requests (which are also recorded), pull up the Alexa app and go to Settings>History. Amazon warns that your Alexa experience may not be as seamless minus these recordings, as they’re used to improve Alexa’s responses.

Alternatively, you can turn off the microphone on the device itself until you’re ready to make a request.

GOOGLE HOME

To delete recordings of your Google Home requests, log in to your Google account, click on your profile picture and then go to Manage accounts>Google Activity Controls>Manage Activity.

Again, you can also mute the microphone on the device itself by toggling the on/off switch.

The above should cover your privacy bases. But if in doubt, consider this a gentle reminder: you can always pull the plug.
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Presented without comment...

 

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1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Presented without comment...

 

11403F19-4502-4F27-98AD-D0EF071A91A2.png

I know you didn't leave a comment on this but couldn't this also just be because watches were being posted about in this thread, not evidence of a phone listening in (which I actually believe does happen for what it's worth).

I've posted in the Josh thread about seeing Ashley Madison ads and I've not only not searched for those, I hadn't even been talking (using my voice)  about that site. It had to be just because it was being "talked" (typed) about in the Josh threads.

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15 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I'm finding that to be true right now. I'm starting to look into bariatric surgery and the amount of hoops I have to jump through before they even see me is absolutely UNREAL. I completely understand why they're requiring it (I've watched enough 'My 600 Pound Life'...), but I have to attend classes, turn up with a crazy amount of all of my past medical records, etc. and that's even before I can schedule an appointment. Again, I completely understand, especially given the nature of the weight-loss and surgical weight-loss, why they do it, but it's also a barrier to care for me. This shit is expensive to do, and it's all just proving I'm fit to be even spoken with about my weight. 

I agree whole-heartedly that is a barrier to care. When I was in the program for my weight loss surgery the insurance company requested records from all of my pregnancies, Why? They gave some garbage excuse answer that they had to prove my weight was an ongoing issue over time both prior to and post pregnancy.  So I had to go to my OBGYN and have them fax all this stuff to the insurance company. The nurse practitioner from the bariatric program said they were likely trying to find a reason to deny my coverage because the insurance I had at the time was known for denying patients and saying they didn't try enough to lost weight without surgery. After two delays they finally approved me but it was outrageous. Especially when in the end, technically they are going to be saving money as I'm going to be healthier overall. 

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11 hours ago, Hisey said:

There'd be far fewer people going to med school in the US if there was a rule that doctors had to treat everyone that comes along.

Doctors are not our slaves. They have a right to make choices about who they see, just like everyone else. 

I don't think a doctor should have to treat someone who is abusive (like a drunk) or a deadbeat. Should a doctor have to spend hours of his time treating someone's eczema or migraine or allergies, when that person hasn't paid his bill in years? (I mean, he can if he wants to, but should he *have to*?)

I'm talking about doctors in private practice, obviously. Doctors who work for a large corporation (or for the NHS) generally have to do what their employer tells them to do.

Doctors can and should be allowed to choose non emergent patients. A long time friend of mine was dismissed from her doctor and his entire practice because 1 she was scamming for narcs 2 she refused to follow doctors orders.  She was a chronic migraine sufferer, after years of treatment, testing, meds and everything, it was discovered likely her migraines were caused my erratic sleep schedule and excessive caffeine intake. She was an RN who worked 3, 12 hour over night shifts a week, during those 3 days she would sleep MAYBE 6 hours total and she lived on caffeine. She did this so she could be home with her kids, but after this 3 day shift she would have a migraine for 3 days, have 1 good day and then start over again. during her 3 days of work she lived on coffee and junk food, she refused to change her diet/sleep or work. AND she was suspected/caught stealing drugs, the left over in vials that were to have been "wasted" after patents were medicated, this is hard to prove because these are IV meds that has amounts left in a vile  that aren't enough for another does and can't be used with another bottle so they must be washed down a special sink. She was conveniently injured on the job in the middle of all this and is now on disability, and let her license expire (to avoid prosecution). Only her Ex-husband and I and a handful of hospital personnel know this, it was brushed under the rug as she had a long good standing reputation as a good nurse with the hospital, and no patents complained ever, about her care so they didn't want publicity of a nurse stealing drugs.  Right or wrong, she's will NEVER work again, and she's been left unemployable in any medical capacity since she was 44 years old. 

TL;DR there are LOTS of reason doctors dismiss patients, because patients can be real assholes too. 

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Companies like Facebook and Google know so much about you just from the information you give them. I frequently get search suggestions that would make me sure google is reading my mind if that were a possibility. I'll type in a couple characters and it will suggest the exact obscure search term I was about to type even though I had never searched for it before. As mind reading is not possible, I guess Google is just really good at predicting what people are going to search for next based on their browsing history.

Google did suggest a restaurant for me recently and predicted it would be a 95% match. It was a steakhouse, which made this vegan feel a little better that Google doesn't know everything. :pb_lol:

2 hours ago, Sullie06 said:

I agree whole-heartedly that is a barrier to care. When I was in the program for my weight loss surgery the insurance company requested records from all of my pregnancies, Why? They gave some garbage excuse answer that they had to prove my weight was an ongoing issue over time both prior to and post pregnancy.  So I had to go to my OBGYN and have them fax all this stuff to the insurance company. The nurse practitioner from the bariatric program said they were likely trying to find a reason to deny my coverage because the insurance I had at the time was known for denying patients and saying they didn't try enough to lost weight without surgery. After two delays they finally approved me but it was outrageous. Especially when in the end, technically they are going to be saving money as I'm going to be healthier overall. 

Oh man, insurance company bullshit is its own topic, separate from doctors themselves deciding whether to accept patients or not. All the doctors I know hate dealing with insurance companies too. It's obscene how much influence insurance companies have.

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5 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Presented without comment...

 

11403F19-4502-4F27-98AD-D0EF071A91A2.png

This one is because you've been discussing diving watches in this thread.   There are 2 types of ads on FJ.  Ones based on your personal browsing history and ones based on the text of what is being talked about on FJ.   That is why you will often see a lot of ads for various religious things. 

I find the ads to be pretty accurate for me, which is actually frustrating because as the owner of the account, I'm not allowed to click on links and there is stuff I want to buy dammit!

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3 hours ago, Sullie06 said:

Especially when in the end, technically they are going to be saving money as I'm going to be healthier overall. 

Insurance companies don't care about this for whatever reason.  I find it baffling.   I've said this before, but when I was in wound care I heard a lot of stories about insurance (my wound dr. didn't take our insurance, but after the problems I had, there was no way I was going to try and find another dr. I trusted.  So we will be paying him until I die and then I assume it will be paid out of whatever estate I have.)    I digress...    Insurance will not cover a $20 pair of compression stockings that an elderly person needs to help treat their wound, but they will be $20,000 for said elderly person to have treatment for the problem that could have been prevented with a $20 pair of compression stockings.

There are so many things about insurance that make no financial sense.   I feel everyone's frustration.

On drs. being able to fire you, the only time I have ever been labeled uncooperative was when I was trying to get on disability.  That was 20 years ago and it was such a traumatic experience that even though my circumstances have changed and I would probably be able to get on disability with relatively little problem, I can't chance going through it again.   That is a story for a different day, though.

I had to sign a contract with my pain management dr. agreeing to various things or he could "fire" me as a patient immediately.   None of it was things I had a problem with and my dr. knows I will walk through glass (figuratively since I don't walk much ;)  ) to make sure I'm in compliance in the  13 years I've gone to him I've never been called in for a pill count and I've had about 3 urine tests over the years.

I recently had a discussion with him about CBD oil (I'm not allowed to use it per my contract) because I was curious if that would still be true if marijuana was legal in our state.  It would not be, but I don't think we are even trying to legalize here and my pain is controlled well enough that it was mostly curiosity because so many people seem to find relief with it.

This is already long, but one more anecdote.  As some of you know, I have had extremely extensive and delicate spinal work done and that the surgeon who did this life-changing surgery passed away about 2 years after it was done, at 36 from cancer (yet Lori Alexander is still alive...proof that the good die young, IMO).   I've been trying to find a new surgeon since he passed away and it's been hard because I don't think I will likely find anyone that will ever truly replace him.  I've semi-settled on a local surgeon (my previous one was at University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore), but he has already given me pause.    I am having some issues with my "bad" leg that I recognize as spinal so he wanted to run some tests which I was fine with.  I had the ERG with no problem.  Then he wanted to do an MRI and I have been told by my previous surgeon no more MRIs because I have an IVC filter.   This new dr said MRI or Myelogram, probably thinking I'd give in to the MRI over a myelogram which are zero fun.   I chose the myelogram.    Unfortunately, I've already had bone regrow over my spinal canal so they couldn't get a needle in and the myelogram could not be preformed.   The dr. again said we should do an MRI and I again said I was told no more MRIs because of the IVC filter so he said well see you in a year for xrays then.   This was not an ideal outcome at all, but the results of the ERG were pretty good and he didn't feel like I was having a lot of damage currently being done so I will go back in Nov and see what the xrays look like.

At some point, I will need further surgery due to the rapid bone growth.  We knew this going in, but neither my previous surgeon nor myself thought it was going to grow back as rapidly as it has.  So I hope the new surgeon comes up with a better option than having my IVC filter removed via magnet in an MRI before that time comes.

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15 minutes ago, Curious said:

So I hope the new surgeon comes up with a better option than having my IVC filter removed via magnet in an MRI before that time comes.

If it's any consolation, the radiologist at the imaging facility would have to approve doing the MRI and likely would not since they'd be liable if it went bad.  Before I changed hospitals, I was having a lot of issues with the contrast studies due to dye sensitivity and reactions and ended up having to discuss it with two different radiologists.  One required a big slug of benadryl while the other one was a mild risk taker and they ended up dealing with the side effects.  I'm very happy with the new doctor.  He has sense.  He simply orders a different dye arrangement.  

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4 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

If it's any consolation, the radiologist at the imaging facility would have to approve doing the MRI and likely would not since they'd be liable if it went bad.  Before I changed hospitals, I was having a lot of issues with the contrast studies due to dye sensitivity and reactions and ended up having to discuss it with two different radiologists.  One required a big slug of benadryl while the other one was a mild risk taker and they ended up dealing with the side effects.  I'm very happy with the new doctor.  He has sense.  He simply orders a different dye arrangement.  

Thanks!  That's good to know.  IVC filters are a bit of a double-edged sword.  They are great when they work and for people that need a temporary solution and have the removable ones put in for a short period of time, it's a real relief I'm sure.

The problem with the longer-term use is that your body eventually sort of integrates the foreign object into your anatomy so removal can cause more problems than just leaving it in place.   I am nearing the 5-year mark which is, naturally, the time that the filter itself can break down.  I'm sure you've all seen the commercials for class action suits.     I'm hoping this is the one area where things go smoothly and I don't end up in emergency surgery for an exploded IVC filter, though I guess that would solve the MRI issue ;)  

I'm glad to hear your new dr is better and you are happy with him.

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30 minutes ago, Curious said:

Insurance companies don't care about this for whatever reason.  I find it baffling.   I've said this before, but when I was in wound care I heard a lot of stories about insurance (my wound dr. didn't take our insurance, but after the problems I had, there was no way I was going to try and find another dr. I trusted.  So we will be paying him until I die and then I assume it will be paid out of whatever estate I have.)    I digress...    Insurance will not cover a $20 pair of compression stockings that an elderly person needs to help treat their wound, but they will be $20,000 for said elderly person to have treatment for the problem that could have been prevented with a $20 pair of compression stockings.

There are so many things about insurance that make no financial sense.   I feel everyone's frustration.

 

So frustrating. I was like, wait, you would rather pay for medical treatment for diabetes, high blood pressure, decreased mobility, oxygen dependence, sleep apnea and a slew of other possible weight related conditions I could have gotten as I get older than pay for a one time surgery that can help fix that problem now, while I'm young and healthy. I was about to fight them but they finally approved. 

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33 minutes ago, Sullie06 said:

So frustrating. I was like, wait, you would rather pay for medical treatment for diabetes, high blood pressure, decreased mobility, oxygen dependence, sleep apnea and a slew of other possible weight related conditions I could have gotten as I get older than pay for a one time surgery that can help fix that problem now, while I'm young and healthy. I was about to fight them but they finally approved. 

I say this as a a failed barbaric (HA Freudian slip but it fits)  surgical patient. They deny because the chance of patients reaching a normal BMI is low, gastric bypass patients have the best long term outcome, and still approximately 35% of patients are fail, in that they do not maintain 50% total weight loss after 11 years. Meaning if you go in weighting 350 lbs and lose 175 lbs, depending on your height you can still be considered overweight or obese, and many bypass patients weigh significantly more than 350 pounds, so their weight loss isn't beatifically enough to justify the cost.  You get into sleeve surgery or banding (which I had) and the rates are even lower.  It is now found that more than 90% of lap band patients had complete failure to lose significant weight and maintain it past 5 years.  Sleeve patients do a little bit better, not as well as the GBP patients but much better than the band patients. 

I know 5 people who have had GBP and all of them lost around 100 to 150 pounds, all of them have gained back at least 50 of those pounds over the last 15 years. 1 of them made it to a healthy weight, but didn't stay their more than about a year before gaining back nearly every pound, and she is now back where she started and the only thing she can do is diet but won't/can't.  

Weight loss centers really hype up the weight loss as in everyone does so well you'll do great and look like this. They ONLY show you the success stories, What they don't tell you is that for every success story there are 50 people who failed, in their office. Their job is patients, more patients more money.  The clinic I got to does over 100 surgeries a MONTH, that is just ONE weight-loss clinic of at least 5 in the tiny state of Iowa. The vast majority of these people will NOT reach a healthy weight.  So while it seems great, up front, that I'm not going to be fat anymore, this will fix it. It won't.  The clinic I'm doing now says that the few who do succeed are people that had been thin and gained weight because of illness, injury or carelessness, but hadn't been overweight their entire lives. 

Be VERY VERY weary of weight loss surgery, it isn't the fix most people think it is, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm saying this because I've done it and I've failed, and everyone I know who's done has failed, with 1 exception and she'd only been over weight about 8 years of her 40 years on this earth.  My honest advice is to get into a program that will teach you how to eat properly, and how to change your lifestyle, so that you can maintain that loss, or if you do the surgery ALSO do the therapy and life style changes, because having your guts rearranged or shrunk will only work for a short period of time, if you don't also change how you associate with food. 

Best of luck to all of you, I'm working now on an 800 cal a day mostly liquid diet, and it is VERY hard, but I'm seeing really good results after only 3 week. 

Edited by allthegoodnamesrgone
Could I have said "I'm saying anymore" had to take those it, ANNOYING.
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My weight had been up and down my entire adulthood. The last time I was really at my ideal weight was 15 years ago. I became a Lifetime member in 2003 at Weight Watchers. Over time I have gained it all back and more.  I have just not found the gumption to try again yet and have just learned to find clothes that fit me and love me anyway.  

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12 minutes ago, Divemaster01 said:

My weight had been up and down my entire adulthood. The last time I was really at my ideal weight was 15 years ago. I became a Lifetime member in 2003 at Weight Watchers. Over time I have gained it all back and more.  I have just not found the gumption to try again yet and have just learned to find clothes that fit me and love me anyway.  

I've given on on the elusive goal to be Hollywood thin, It isn't going to happen, I've been overweight since I was 12 years old. I'm at a size now that I am NOT comfortable with myself and it is really starting to impact my health, I'm heavy enough that some medical treatments are contraindicated because of my weight, and honestly about 10 years away from being able to star on My 600 pound life.  If I don't stop myself now, I will lose my mobility very quickly and it is a terrifying thought. If I can lose 75 pounds, ideally 100, I will still be considered overweight and close to obese BMI wise, but I will have my mobility, doctors won't have to worry about procedures because of my weight anymore, I'll be in a much better place health wise, while still not "looking ideal", and I'm OK with that, my sister and I call it being comfortably fat. 

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I'm 200 pounds, size 18/20, 5'5".  I still have my mobility but I tire more easily than I used to. Also in my early 50's. I have been pretty stable for about 5 years. Hugs to everyone struggling with weight.  I look at those slender fundies and they make it look so easy.

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1 hour ago, Sullie06 said:

So frustrating. I was like, wait, you would rather pay for medical treatment for diabetes, high blood pressure, decreased mobility, oxygen dependence, sleep apnea and a slew of other possible weight related conditions I could have gotten as I get older than pay for a one time surgery that can help fix that problem now, while I'm young and healthy. I was about to fight them but they finally approved. 

A lot of the issue with approving bariatric surgery is that there is a high rate of failure. It requires a lifestyle change that a lot of people are unable to stick to long-term. And if you aren't able to stick with it, then there may not be a reason to do the surgery- anesthesia is not easy on people who are obese.

The hospital I worked at performed a decent amount of procedures (bypass, lapband) and even after the therapy, nutritional counseling, and general run around associated with having the surgery there were a fair number of people that stopped losing weight or started having complications due to eating the wrong types of food or just eating too much in general. Unfortunately old habits are hard to break and surgery itself doesn't change that. 

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I am so very sorry, but this has been a long day and I can't remember if I found this article here from this very thread or not. I choose to (re?)post because I really don't know if I'm going crazy or not.

Pretty much, Target has been using data analytics for many years now to target (pun unintended, but embraced) at least pregnant women. They were able to figure out what pregnant women typically buy at which points during their pregnancy to determine how to market their next upcoming needs. Ex. buying certain vitamins and a purse the size of a diaper bag led a 15 year old girl to getting a coupon book sent to her house featuring cribs and other baby stuff. They got quite a bit of heat for this and altered how they presented these offers to their customers. Really interesting especially for this data analyst :) 

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2012/02/16/how-target-figured-out-a-teen-girl-was-pregnant-before-her-father-did/#1f0a141a6668

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@front hugs > duggs it was here. I posted it a couple days ago. Isn't it crazy? If you Google target advertising- the products don't even have to be pregnancy related one lady was like 27 and bought dry shampoo and lip balm (I think) and Target marked her as pregnant. She was.

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3 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

My honest advice is to get into a program that will teach you how to eat properly, and how to change your lifestyle, so that you can maintain that loss, or if you do the surgery ALSO do the therapy and life style changes, because having your guts rearranged or shrunk will only work for a short period of time, if you don't also change how you associate with food. 

On My 600-lb Life (okay, granted an extreme in both physical condition as well as mental stability) I am shocked at how little nutritional guidance and counseling the patients get--or at least what they show. Most of these people come from families with zero nutritional education (thinking drinks don't have any calories and serving sizes should be the size of one's head). These aren't people who are ever going to count every calorie, so they need to be taught some general guidelines. Except you still hear them saying things after the surgery like "Well, we had KFC instead of McDonald's, so it was chicken and healthier." Makes me want to scream that no one is guiding them.

And of course the intense sexual, physical, and mental trauma so many of them have gone through that remains largely unaddressed. 

In real life, I have an uncle who got his stomach stapled and showed zero intentions of changing his diet or lifestyle. I was really surprised he was approved for surgery. Even while the staples were in, he would still eat wedding cake (and then just throw up) and didn't pay any attention to how much fiber or protein he was getting in each meal or even go for walks or swim. 

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I've been thinking about this thread and how much I hate this stuff. I suppose there are some benefits to living alone and never talking out loud :)

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1 hour ago, front hugs > duggs said:

I am so very sorry, but this has been a long day and I can't remember if I found this article here from this very thread or not. I choose to (re?)post because I really don't know if I'm going crazy or not.

Pretty much, Target has been using data analytics for many years now to target (pun unintended, but embraced) at least pregnant women. They were able to figure out what pregnant women typically buy at which points during their pregnancy to determine how to market their next upcoming needs. Ex. buying certain vitamins and a purse the size of a diaper bag led a 15 year old girl to getting a coupon book sent to her house featuring cribs and other baby stuff. They got quite a bit of heat for this and altered how they presented these offers to their customers. Really interesting especially for this data analyst :) 

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2012/02/16/how-target-figured-out-a-teen-girl-was-pregnant-before-her-father-did/#1f0a141a6668

Target started advertising baby stuff for me when I went on spring break in college. I believe I bought unscented lotion and a purse/beach bag, which they marked as a purse/diaper bag.

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My weight is my constant struggle. Looking at pictures I was already overweight by the time I was in kindergarten. Currently, I’m considered category I obese, but was category II obese before my recent weight loss. Undoing years and years of bad habits is daunting, but it’s really hitting me how urgent the situation is. While I don’t have complications yet (aside from my gallbladder removal), I’m aware they’re lurking around the corner if I don’t get my act together. It’s so nice to hear others share their stories and not feel so awful about how hard I’m finding weight loss and how long it’s taken me to lose what I have so far. 

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I currently weigh more than I did while in labour with my daughter. I loathe it. I am trapped in my body and I just want it all gone, right now. But it doesn’t work that way, it takes weeks and months of work to lose 20kg (45lb), and while I have started, the road ahead seems so daunting. Every drop on the scale is tempered with the feeling that I have so much more to lose to get back to pre-baby weight. And I’m not obese, just overweight. I eat vegetables and play a team sport, avoid fast food and takeaway. I’m addicted to sugar, and eat far more chocolate than one person should. But it’s hard to look at my lifestyle and think “it’s not THAT bad” yet be so unhappy with the resultant body.

I can’t imagine how difficult and discouraging it must feel for those who are changing lifelong habits and have double or triple that to lose. But we will keep putting one foot in front of another, and we will keep trying because that matters, even if the final “goal” isn’t quite where we end up.

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4 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I've given on on the elusive goal to be Hollywood thin, It isn't going to happen, I've been overweight since I was 12 years old. I'm at a size now that I am NOT comfortable with myself and it is really starting to impact my health, I'm heavy enough that some medical treatments are contraindicated because of my weight, and honestly about 10 years away from being able to star on My 600 pound life.  If I don't stop myself now, I will lose my mobility very quickly and it is a terrifying thought. If I can lose 75 pounds, ideally 100, I will still be considered overweight and close to obese BMI wise, but I will have my mobility, doctors won't have to worry about procedures because of my weight anymore, I'll be in a much better place health wise, while still not "looking ideal", and I'm OK with that, my sister and I call it being comfortably fat. 

It sounds like you have a great handle on what your goals are. I think it's a shame that so many people act like if you're not going to end up thin or if you gain any weight back then there's no point in trying to lose weight in the first place.

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