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HerNameIsBuffy

Josh, Anna, the M' kids Part 20: Girl Needs Some Serious Therapy

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HerNameIsBuffy
Posted (edited)

continue from here...

Thanks @neurogirl for the thread title.

 

Edited by Coconut Flan

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Ivycoveredtower

I honestly don't know whether to cry or laugh at the tread title. 

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Peaches-n-Beans

I mean its a very accurate thread title. I'm back in therapy after finding out my dad is basically Robert Baratheon (not quite Josh Duggar) so Anna definitely needs therapy and honestly someday the kids probably will too. That said I think therapy is great it helped me get my OCD diagnosis and get on a healthy track to managing it. 

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Glasgowghirl

I think both Josh and Anna need serious non fundie approved therapy both as individuals and as a couple. Josh probably would be the same asshole if he wasn't fundie but a few of his life choices would have been different, no way would be married and about to have his 6th child and while I don't doubt he loves Anna, may even convince himself he is in love with her sometimes and loves his children, he probably would have been happy if they had stopped after Marcus or Meredith were born.

Anna always wanted the perfect fundie husband and when Josh wanted her she was happy and the fact that he was from a family that had been on TV and were about to be given a series made it even better, even when she heard about Josh's past, we still don't know the full extent of what she knew then, she was taught that God forgives and he had repented, he also was sweet and charming to her, so she didn't even think about him still been a risk. The get married and he sings about being faithful to her, even more of dream for her, everyone else cringed. Josh had his own business and went to work every day and even helped with do changing with Mackynzie, a lot of fundie dad's don't. They have other children and Anna then gets to play the politicians spouse role when he is given the FRC job in Washington and to her everything is still perfect. They get pregnant with Meredith and she doesn't know that Josh has been on websites speaking to other women for at least a couple of years and may or may not have physically cheated on her to. When the Josh's past comes out while hurt that it's out in the open and now they have lost both the FRC job and the TV show, she still probably thinks things will pick up, she has Meredith and barely a month later the whole Ashley Madison scandal breaks and she realises that Josh had betrayed her, in the space of four months her perfect fundie life has blown. Her upbringing tells her to keep fighting for it as divorce is wrong and she has seen her sister have struggles being a single mother of one child and that stigma, and doesn't want that with 4 children plus despite it all she still loves Josh, to her he is still the sweet fundie boy she met and not some creep, even when his actions are revealed, she doesn't want to see that side of Josh. She hopes having Mason and her new child serves as proof that you can overcome those struggles and stay together, maybe Josh believes that too.

Josh and Anna may go on being fine for the next two, five or ten years but chances are another scandal involving Josh will happen. They both need therapy to see if their issues can be ironed out of if they are better just calling it quits without being made to feel like they have failed. If they both had been allowed to date and not jump into marriage their is a good chance they would not still be together now, they may have stayed together a couple years most before realising that it wasn't meant to be. It's a sad situation for all of them and as much as I hate what Josh has done for the children's sake I don't wish them all to be misserable.

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HerNameIsBuffy
17 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

It's a sad situation for all of them and as much as I hate what Josh has done for the children's sake I don't wish them all to be misserable.

Then you're a better person than I.  I feel very bad for the innocent children involved but as far as I'm concerned Josh and Anna deserve whatever shitshow of unhappiness they've created for themselves.

And wasn't Meredith conceived post-scandal?  Whatever she did or didn't know before she sure as shit knew when she continued to bear his children so as far as I'm concerned she is as complicit as he is in the pain for the kids.

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VelociRapture
3 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Then you're a better person than I.  I feel very bad for the innocent children involved but as far as I'm concerned Josh and Anna deserve whatever shitshow of unhappiness they've created for themselves.

And wasn't Meredith conceived post-scandal?  Whatever she did or didn't know before she sure as shit knew when she continued to bear his children so as far as I'm concerned she is as complicit as he is in the pain for the kids.

Meredith was before the scandals hit. She was born two months after the molestations were revealed and one month before Josh was shipped to Prayhab for Ashley Madison. So there have been two kids conceived post scandals - Mason and M6.

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Greendoor

I have never thought Anna was the brightest bulb on the string.  That coupled with her upbringing, I think, makes her maybe not quite as totally culpable.

Not to say any particular Duggar is bright either.

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Glasgowghirl
15 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Then you're a better person than I.  I feel very bad for the innocent children involved but as far as I'm concerned Josh and Anna deserve whatever shitshow of unhappiness they've created for themselves.

And wasn't Meredith conceived post-scandal?  Whatever she did or didn't know before she sure as shit knew when she continued to bear his children so as far as I'm concerned she is as complicit as he is in the pain for the kids.

Don't get me wrong I think they both need to stop having more children and make sure the ones they do have are not affected by what has happened and I personally would have thrown Josh out after the Ashley Madison scandal and still hope that she does leave him at some point but I realistically know that is not going to happen. 

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HerNameIsBuffy
1 minute ago, Greendoor said:

I have never thought Anna was the brightest bulb on the string.  That coupled with her upbringing, I think, makes her maybe not quite as totally culpable.

Not to say any particular Duggar is bright either.

She's a not a smart woman, but I never heard she any kind of cognitive disability which would mitigate her responsibility.  

If that's the case then it's unconscionable that they're using someone who isn't capable of making rational decisions to bear and raise child after child.  If she is intellectually capable of rational decisions then she's culpable.

I know she's been crippled in many ways by her upbringing, but a shitty upbringing doesn't excuse bad parenting.  She has no right to sacrifice her children at the altar of her husband and her religion.

 

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JenniferJuniper

Josh is a bum.  He'd have been a bum even if he weren't a hypocritical fundie.  

Shiftless, bored, untrustworthy, and I'm willing to bet he's verbally abusive, at least to his wife if not to the kids as well.  He's a nasty person. I remember his pre-DC Instagrams well. 

Most of us who have lived long enough have known quite a few Josh's.  Lazy, spoiled assholes who more often than not make miserable the lives of those around them.

The elements that make the J&A relationship much more complicated are of course fundyism and reality show "stardom" which has had a major impact on her relationship with and her dependency on her in-laws.  Anna is effectively trapped.

But my money is on Josh having a "mid-life crisis" and eventually dumping her for someone younger and prettier, and probably far less fundie.  He'll take his 10 kids to Hogs games on weekends, giving Anna (and Mac) a break for a few hours.  And that'll be the extent of his relationship with Anna and the M's. 

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Greendoor

I agree with you HerNameIsBuffy.  It's just their standards (spare the rod and spoil the child, stay with your cheating spouse etc.) are not ours.  So she will blissfully go on parenting badly according to our way of seeing things.  

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HerNameIsBuffy
2 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

But my money is on Josh having a "mid-life crisis" and eventually dumping her for someone younger and prettier, and probably far less fundie. 

You think he'd have the money to pull in someone else?  I know nothing about their finances, but I'd be shocked if Josh had control of a dime.

I just assumed JB is supporting him and his family in order to keep him from leaving, keep him in line, and keep him producing Duggars.  I'd be really surprised if Josh had access to any money to leave unless he does a tell all and burns all his bridges.  But who knows.

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Ivycoveredtower
21 minutes ago, Greendoor said:

I have never thought Anna was the brightest bulb on the string.  That coupled with her upbringing, I think, makes her maybe not quite as totally culpable.

Not to say any particular Duggar is bright either.

I wouldn't be so sure about that I mean she has one sibling that is a single mother, I believe two that are divorced, her brother told her to leave Josh. it's not like her whole family is still fundy or that her parents shun the kids that have left fundydom. 

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JenniferJuniper
3 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

You think he'd have the money to pull in someone else?  I know nothing about their finances, but I'd be shocked if Josh had control of a dime.

I just assumed JB is supporting him and his family in order to keep him from leaving, keep him in line, and keep him producing Duggars.  I'd be really surprised if Josh had access to any money to leave unless he does a tell all and burns all his bridges.  But who knows.

No and I agree he's under JB's forever control financially, but I've known more than a few lazy assholes who managed to pull in women for one reason or another.  Josh has a recognizable name.  And he'd have no shame living off a working woman. In fact, it might have considerable appeal to him if it helps him get out from under Jim Bob's thumb.  And Josh is not really a fundie.

Heck, Ted Bundy pulled a wife when he was in prison.

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HerNameIsBuffy
14 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

No and I agree he's under JB's forever control financially, but I've known more than a few lazy assholes who managed to pull in women for one reason or another.  Josh has a recognizable name.  And he'd have no shame living off a working woman. In fact, it might have considerable appeal to him if it helps him get out from under Jim Bob's thumb.  And Josh is not really a fundie.

Heck, Ted Bundy pulled a wife when he was in prison.

Very true.  Not sure what it says about me that they can attract partners and I'm forever alone from this point out, but I'm sure it's nothing good.  :) 

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Iamtheway
33 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Very true.  Not sure what it says about me that they can attract partners and I'm forever alone from this point out, but I'm sure it's nothing good.  :) 

I think it says that you have standards and are not willing to lower them just to be with someone. And that you don’t want to date someone that is crazy. Go you!

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JenniferJuniper
1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Very true.  Not sure what it says about me that they can attract partners and I'm forever alone from this point out, but I'm sure it's nothing good.  :) 

Far better on one's own than being with a creep.  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of nice guys in the world, but by the same token, creeps seem to abound.

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AliceInFundyland
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I wouldn't be so sure about that I mean she has one sibling that is a single mother, I believe two that are divorced, her brother told her to leave Josh. it's not like her whole family is still fundy or that her parents shun the kids that have left fundydom. 

MA and PA Keller are still absurdly fundy. Last we left off with them PA had written a book to gift to his neighbors about his prison ministries.

Esther and Priscilla are, obviously, still deep in the fold. I'm not sure what we can extrapolate about Anna's ability to get any help from her family if she had left or chose to exit now.

... And - whatever - she isn't doing it. She cast her lot with the scumbag. So the point is moo.

Edited by AliceInFundyland
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Jana814
40 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

 

Esther and Priscilla are, obviously, still deep in the fold. I'm not sure what we can extrapolate about Anna's ability to get any help from her family if she had left or chose to exit now.

I have to agree with this. She may not get help from her family. 

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VelociRapture
3 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

MA and PA Keller are still absurdly fundy. Last we left off with them PA had written a book to gift to his neighbors about his prison ministries.

Esther and Priscilla are, obviously, still deep in the fold. I'm not sure what we can extrapolate about Anna's ability to get any help from her family if she had left or chose to exit now.

... And - whatever - she isn't doing it. She cast her lot with the scumbag. So the point is moo.

One of her brothers had publicly offered to help her, but we have no way of knowing what type of help he was offering, how long it would be for, or whether he was being serious. He might have known she’d refuse to leave and just said it so people thought he was a decent guy or maybe he genuinely meant it and was disappointed when she didn’t take him up on the offer. 

But yeah. She refused to leave so it’s kind of pointless to wonder at this point. She’s made her choice and she gets to deal with all the consequences. It’s just sad her kids do too.

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HerNameIsBuffy
13 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

One of her brothers had publicly offered to help her, but we have no way of knowing what type of help he was offering, how long it would be for, or whether he was being serious. He might have known she’d refuse to leave and just said it so people thought he was a decent guy or maybe he genuinely meant it and was disappointed when she didn’t take him up on the offer. 

But yeah. She refused to leave so it’s kind of pointless to wonder at this point. She’s made her choice and she gets to deal with all the consequences. It’s just sad her kids do too.

I have no doubt he was sincere in his offer.  When someone you love is in a bad home situation and they need out the first thing to do is offer immediate respite with a place to go and support.

I don't think he was in the position to completely support Anna and her kids forever, but I do think he was absolutely sincere in wanting to help her get out of there.

It's not easy to leave when you are a SAHM with small kids and no high paying career to go back to, I know this from experience.  But due to the press Anna would have been in the unique position of a substantial go-fund-me (I am sure) as well as short term interviews which would have given her a financial head start to figure out her plan B.

Would have been much easier with the emotional support of her parents, but we all know Mike and Suzette Keller don't have the sense God gave tree stumps but even without the backing of Mr. Jesus Hearts Grape Juice she had an out.

I would bet she still does, although I am sure the public Goodwill toward her has waned considerably since she chose to stay and have more kids she could get out with the help of her family and hire a decent lawyer to help shakedown her husband's deep pocketed parents.  

These are things she "could" do.  I do not for one moment think she will do a damn thing except stay put, keep sweet, and continue living amongst her husband's victims, in denial of what she's doing to those babies she keeps popping out.

 

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VelociRapture
9 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I have no doubt he was sincere in his offer.  When someone you love is in a bad home situation and they need out the first thing to do is offer immediate respite with a place to go and support.

I don't think he was in the position to completely support Anna and her kids forever, but I do think he was absolutely sincere in wanting to help her get out of there.

It's not easy to leave when you are a SAHM with small kids and no high paying career to go back to, I know this from experience.  But due to the press Anna would have been in the unique position of a substantial go-fund-me (I am sure) as well as short term interviews which would have given her a financial head start to figure out her plan B.

Would have been much easier with the emotional support of her parents, but we all know Mike and Suzette Keller don't have the sense God gave tree stumps but even without the backing of Mr. Jesus Hearts Grape Juice she had an out.

I would bet she still does, although I am sure the public Goodwill toward her has waned considerably since she chose to stay and have more kids she could get out with the help of her family and hire a decent lawyer to help shakedown her husband's deep pocketed parents.  

These are things she "could" do.  I do not for one moment think she will do a damn thing except stay put, keep sweet, and continue living amongst her husband's victims, in denial of what she's doing to those babies she keeps popping out.

 

Oh I completely agree with your whole post. It would have been incredibly difficult for her regardless of help offered from family or the public. Not just on a financial level, but on an emotional level as well. I was just pointing out that she did have family who offered her help and she didn’t take it for whatever reason.

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Bad Wolf

I don't think a tell all book will generate a lot of money, at least not in the long term. 

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HerNameIsBuffy
Just now, Bad Wolf said:

I don't think a tell all book will generate a lot of money, at least not in the long term. 

Long term, no.  But if she had left when the scandal hit and it was on the public main stage she'd have been able to get a solid headstart on her plan B.  She would have been capitalizing on the increased public interest.

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TheMustardCardigan

A Josh tell all book would be so interesting. On one hand, I have been rooting for someone to break free and write a tell all book for YEARS. On the other hand, I mean, it’s Josh. It kind of hits that interesting point... that a lot of people want to see a Duggar child break from the lifestyle, but in a positive way, and Josh broke from it in the worst ways possible and then just reluctantly went back into the fold after Jesus jail anyway. 

Still kinda hoping for a Lost Girl tell all book but an older sibling would be the most interesting— one that remembers what the days were like in the little house, before the TLC money, when they were just poor with too many kids but not a freakshow amount of kids yet. 

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