Seewalds 40 - Threewald is Here! Ivy Jane

[Timetraveler]

I don't know. Somehow the Seewald-kids (especially the girls) have a Twilight/vampire-ish look over them. ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, Timetraveler said:

I don't know. Somehow the Seewald-kids (especially the girls) have a Twilight/vampire-ish look over them. ?

I think it’s their makeup. The three oldest girls love makeup. The way they do their makeup can be rather shrinking. Sometimes I love their makeup and other times I don’t. 

Edited May 21, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[Sullie06]

35 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I love this. Unfortunately there a huge bias against boys in the US when it comes to kindergarten readiness. It bothers me because there are so many people who buy into the idea that boys always mature later than girls and should automatically be red shirted if they have a summer birthday. I think each child should be taken on a case by case basis. If a parent believes their son is ready, then do it! Don’t listen to all the people pushing their ideas about boys and maturity on you while not looking at your child as an individual. 

This! I was blown away by how many people just assumed he wasn't ready simply because he was male. He has been in daycare since he was 8 weeks old. He did two years of PreK at 3 and 4, holding him back I think would have negatively effected him. I am 100% behind holding a child back if they show a reason to be held back. Transitional Kindergarten has become a big thing here an is very helpful for those kids who maybe need more time. But you have to look at the kid, not just the gender and birthday. Now if he had a late November birthday, it might have been a different story. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

40 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I love this. Unfortunately there a huge bias against boys in the US when it comes to kindergarten readiness. It bothers me because there are so many people who buy into the idea that boys always mature later than girls and should automatically be red shirted if they have a summer birthday. I think each child should be taken on a case by case basis. If a parent believes their son is ready, then do it! Don’t listen to all the people pushing their ideas about boys and maturity on you while not looking at your child as an individual. 

The bias is real, and true. most girls DO mature faster than MOST boys, not all of them but a good majority of them.  This is why it is generally done on a case by case basis.  My brother has a late July birthday I have a late August birthday, he was held back because he was in no way ready to start kindergarten when he had just turned 5, I however started kindergarten ON my 5th birthday. My mom said I was ready mentally and emotionally so they started me and 3 years later when he was to go the preschool said he wasn't read and to give him another year. My parents say it was the best decision they ever made. Almost all the boys (now  men) in my glass with summer birthdays were held back, there were around 10/11 kids in my class (of 120) that were more than a year older than I am, and a few in the class behind me who were my age. It seems the vast majority of boys born in June/July/August were held back. Now there were a few here and that that weren't and were just fine, but they were the exception not the rule. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

The bias is real, and true. most girls DO mature faster than MOST boys, not all of them but a good majority of them.  This is why it is generally done on a case by case basis.  My brother has a late July birthday I have a late August birthday, he was held back because he was in no way ready to start kindergarten when he had just turned 5, I however started kindergarten ON my 5th birthday. My mom said I was ready mentally and emotionally so they started me and 3 years later when he was to go the preschool said he wasn't read and to give him another year. My parents say it was the best decision they ever made. Almost all the boys (now  men) in my glass with summer birthdays were held back, there were around 10/11 kids in my class (of 120) that were more than a year older than I am, and a few in the class behind me who were my age. It seems the vast majority of boys born in June/July/August were held back. Now there were a few here and that that weren't and were just fine, but they were the exception not the rule. 

The problem is that you can hold your child back without any sort of intervention or testing. Yet if your child doesn’t make the cut off by one day, you have to jump through all these hoops to get your child into kindergarten “early.” So people are even holding boys back with birthdays 3 and 4 months before the cut off date. Boys with birthdays in May are being “red shirted.” Which basically means there is often over a year difference between a lot of children in one classroom. It really shifts expectations. The youngest children in the class are expected to act and learn like the kids over a year older. So it reinforces even more parents to hold their children back. Because they don’t want their children to be “behind” in comparison to the other kids.

I think cut offs should be adheared to whenever possible. My personal opinion is that if you are going to hold your child back a year, you should have to jump through similar hoops to hold them back just like the hoops you have to jump through in order to put them in school early. In certain school districts, parents hold boys back so they are bigger for football. Which I think is ridiculous. 

[Sullie06]

9 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The problem is that you can hold your child back without any sort of intervention or testing. Yet if your child doesn’t make the cut off by one day, you have to jump through all these hoops to get your child into kindergarten “early.” So people are even holding boys back with birthdays 3 and 4 months before the cut off date. Boys with birthdays in May are being “red shirted.” Which basically means there is often over a year difference between a lot of children in one classroom. It really shifts expectations. The youngest children in the class are expected to act and learn like the kids over a year older. So it reinforces even more parents to hold their children back. Because they don’t want their children to be “behind” in comparison to the other kids.

Agreed. So our state has a late cut off (December 1st) so the youngest kids would start school in September but not turn 5 until late November. I understand holding those kids back, or any kids who will start when they are still 4,  if they are not ready. However, because of our late cut off I think holding late spring birthdays, which is becoming a big push here, back can cause issues. If you have an April/ May/ June birthday and are held a year you will start Kindergarten at 6 with kids who are 4 years old for 2-3 months after school starts. I think that can create a bad dynamic for both the 4 year old's and the 6 year old's. That would be my concern personally with holding my son back, though he was more than ready to start. 

[SassyPants]

Here’s my take on red shirting. I Did red shirt my son with an 8/28 birthday ( 9/1 cut off). This was my youngest kid. He was tiny, quiet and a baby. He Did do pre-school that also had Kindergarten and I did send him to that Kinder program. He then went on to repeat Kindergarten at the local school. He ended up breezing through school, was very social, had a million friends and never had to try at anything, and succeeded at just about everything. Now here comes the hard part. He’s an adult now, educated and gainfully employed, but...his reality has always been that everything comes easily, so that is now his expectation. I often wonder if he would have had to struggle a bit growing up, if he’d be more motivated to hustle just a bit more?  He does not ask us for anything and lives in one of the costliest cities in the country, so I guess I should just shut up.

[OyToTheVey]

One of my good friends was always a year older than everyone. TBH HS was a breeze for her. She was always smarter than everyone and school just came easier. She even got a full ride to a good college. Everyone else around her always felt stupid. I know it's not always the case but I've been around a lot of kids. Being the smartest in the room isn't always socially good. It's great for school standings and college tho.

[Satan'sFortress]

It would be interesting if Jessa appears on the SYTTD episode.  Will she mention anything about the Nike dress her SIL chose. 

[SassyPants]

1 minute ago, Satan'sFortress said:

It would be interesting if Jessa appears on the SYTTD episode.  Will she mention anything about the Nike dress her SIL chose. 

I am surprised that Jessa is still sticking with dresses and skirts as part of her modesty standards . Although in the past she has expressed having some body image issues, so maybe that keeps her comfort level at wearing dresses and skirts.

[Palimpsest]

41 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Here’s my take on red shirting. I Did red shirt my son

To me a "red shirt" is a Star Trek character who is killed <2 minutes into an episode.

[Quiverfulloftwins]

I am holding my twins back. They we're born 8/20 and our cutoff date is 9/1 but school starts the last week of July. They would have been four for about the whole first month of Kindergarten. They we're also preemies so their due date was 11/5. I always felt like I didn't hold them back because if they had stayed in eleven more days it wouldn't have been a question.

Edited May 21, 2019 by Quiverfulloftwins

[QuiverFullofBooks]

3 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

What's interesting about Jessa's comment is that it's not teasing more reveals. At least not another one due this year.

I wonder if Abbie (or Jill or Jinger) could ask them to take it with and without her, if they aren’t ready to announce yet and would prefer to keep a possible miscarriage private.

[meee]

"All five of us due this year"? That's Jessa, Anna, Joy, Kendra, and Lauren. That seems like a confirmation that Abbie is not, in fact pregnant, since I think to be due next year she'd have to not be pregnant quite yet.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Since three of them seem to be due around similar times, I wonder if they all got together and decided when to announce to the public. Like who goes first and all that. What a weird meeting but it’s the Duggars. So not actually that weird.

[justmy2cents]

I almost hope that Jessa has a girl and doesn't announce the name for a week so we can name the next thread 'a girl has no name' (GOT references.)

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, Quiverfulloftwins said:

I am holding my twins back. They we're born 8/20 and our cutoff date is 9/1 but school starts the last week of July. They would have been four for about the whole first month of Kindergarten. They we're also preemies so their due date was 11/5. I always felt like I didn't hold them back because if they had stayed in eleven more days it wouldn't have been a question.

We’re likely going to do this with our daughter. She was a preemie as well (born early December, but due mid-January) and she won’t even turn five until three months into the school year. And our state has a January 1st start date, meaning the oldest kids would start turning six a little less than a month after her birthday. If she had been born full term she wouldn’t have even qualified to start the year she turns five. 

[lizzybee]

50 minutes ago, meee said:

"All five of us due this year"? That's Jessa, Anna, Joy, Kendra, and Lauren. That seems like a confirmation that Abbie is not, in fact pregnant, since I think to be due next year she'd have to not be pregnant quite yet.

My first was due Dec 21 and he was conceived in March. I believe any baby conceived in April or May would have a 2020 due date. 

[Threff]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

To me a "red shirt" is a Star Trek character who is killed <2 minutes into an episode.

I have this teeshirt, because of John Scalzi and his marvellous book.

 

Edited May 22, 2019 by Threff

[CharlieInCharge]

I was bored, so I checked a calculator and the latest conception date for a December 31st baby would have been April 9th and they would be exactly eight weeks today. Not unreasonable to assume that the announced pregnancies are it for this calendar year. 

[fluffernutter]

My last daughter was held back. She made the cut off for five but had an August bday so she would've been a young five. She had no interest in letters and numbers, and had some speech issues. It was a decision made by the elementary school, her pre-school teacher, and us. The extra year did wonders for her. 

[justmy2cents]

Please don't quote me on this but I had a Petri dish conception on April 20th for a Jan 11th due date so around April 9th or before conception for a 2019 baby.

Which brings me to, my daughter's birthday is a few days after the cutoff in CT which is the latest in the US I believe. I pondered putting her in school early and then realized it wouldn't serve any purpose other than to give me bragging rights. It did annoy me when a couple of parents of kids born in Nov/Dec whose kids wee almost a year younger than my daughter said to me condescendingly that all kids progress at their own pace. Ummm, turning 7 in Jan of first grade is not unusual. She's perfectly bright, just can't sit still ?. Anyway, red shirting when a district has a July 1st cutoff is not the same as holding kids back with a fall Birthday in a district with a Jan 1st cutoff.  I see people here with concerns that it leads to younger kids having a larger burden to keep up with the older kids in the class but I think the higher academic demands in younger grades may be why some kids are being held back. I know 2 boys with spring birthdays who were held back in kindergarten because they couldn't keep up with the other kids. They're both small for their age and not into organized sports. They were only held back to give them a chance to catch up academically so they wouldn't struggle and lose confidence. It's really not a simple issue.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I think it would help if states had similar cut off dates to start K. I know one state that the cut off is August 1st, others where it is Jan 1st, that is 5 months, and a big deal at that age.  Our state cut off is Sept 15th, my bday is August 30th, everyone who had a birthday after me, in my grade was held back, so I was a year younger or close to than than many of my classmates. and it did make a huge difference in my emotional development, and my learning curve.

FF to when my friends and I have school age kids.  My kids were born in Late November and late February, I  never had to worry about when to start them. My friend has a son who graduated with my DD  he has an early June birthday, she is a teacher she started him on time, but teachers suggested he repeat kindergarten because he was very emotionally immature and was preforming at a preKindergarten level. She refused, it was again suggested he be held back in 1st and 2nd and 3rd and they gave up, and got the kid an IEP and he limped through school graduated with a 1.8 GP and didn't get into any schools and isn't sure what to do with his life.  If they had held him back he might have had more opportunity.  My friend on the other had who has a dd a year old than that boy was help back because MOM wasn't ready to let her go.  She wound up dropping out because she hated school she was older, her home life sucked and she just wanted away from all of it.  If they'd let her start she'd have most likely graduated. 

[OhNoNike]

In PA, kindergarten isn’t even required and my district still only has half days because of it. 

Apparenlty the minimum age for school is 8 in PA, which I only learned when the gov announced plans to lower it.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

50 minutes ago, CharlieInCharge said:

I was bored, so I checked a calculator and the latest conception date for a December 31st baby would have been April 9th and they would be exactly eight weeks today. Not unreasonable to assume that the announced pregnancies are it for this calendar year. 

Announced to family, I could see anyone who conceived in April still waiting to announce publicly.  But knowing how careful Jessa is with her online presences, she would have most likely said something like "with all of us due this year" and not given a number if Abbie, Jill or Jinger were pregnant as well.