Michaela & Brandon Keilen 5: She Goes By Michaela

[llg1234]

Being infertile when you want to have children sucks, but being raised in a cult sucks more. 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

She praises her parents despite their support of the Pearls and she is still deep in a cult which has documented cases of child abuse...not to mention the cult's stated intention of limiting the education and opportunities for the children, especially girls.

I would much rather she be upset about being childless than to have another child born into a culture of abuse.  

Yes, I see what you mean. I'm not disagreeing with you, its just Michaela seemed like the only Bates daughter capable of raising her children without having her daughters become sister moms. Yes, she is deep in a cult with parents who praise the Pearls. It's just watching her talk about it on the show and reading her posts I just feel for her. If she and Brandon weren't fundie, then I can see them going straight to adoption the moment they found out. Plus, she comes off as someone, to me, who wouldn't use all of the Pearl's advice when it comes down to the child abuse allegations. That is just me. 

I know some people say that Brandon would be upset with children. But, I can see him being happy with one or two children. Personally, I think Brandon comes off that way because whenever he goes to see the Bates family he gets a rush of children whether they are in-laws and nieces and nephews can be overwhelming for someone who isn't around them all the time. Earlier on in the show Kelly did allude to the fact that Brandon tends to be a little taken off guard and overwhelmed when seeing all of the kids running at him at one time. In one episode before Brandon and Michaela got engaged Michaela joked about Brandon being uncomfortable around many of her younger siblings who were children at the time all at once. Brandon even admitted it. I just think Brandon wants kids, I just don't think he is used to being around several of them at once. Especially, when he and Michaela arrive at the Bates house after a long trip only to have a bunch of kids run at him before letting him catch his breath.

Plus, Brandon comes off to me as someone who likes it quiet and peaceful and likes having alone time. Some of the Bates children who have married have admitted they don't like the peace and quiet of their homes when they are alone. So, I have a feeling Brandon rarely gets left alone for too long when visiting his in-laws. One of the things that has bothered me about re-watching Bringing Up Bates is every time someone pulls into the driveway the entire family runs out and rarely leaves the guest alone. Remember the time that Alyssa pulled in the driveway holding Allie only to have Allie cry uncontrollably because she was terrified of all these people running at and surrounding her at once. Did the family back up and give Alyssa space so Allie could calm down? No, they all just stood there surrounding Alyssa holding a crying infant until she handed her off to one of her sisters. Only for her to cry more and Alyssa hold her again until the family got the hint to back up. Brandon may feel that way, but because he isn't an infant probably takes a deep breath and sucks it up being in a loud and noisy house where the only privacy he can get is in the bathroom for two minutes.

[rebeccawriter01]

On 7/9/2020 at 3:10 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

She praises her parents despite their support of the Pearls and she is still deep in a cult which has documented cases of child abuse...not to mention the cult's stated intention of limiting the education and opportunities for the children, especially girls.

I would much rather she be upset about being childless than to have another child born into a culture of abuse.  

While I feel bad for her as someone else who cannot have children, I agree that I feel bad for a child born into any of those families. 

No doubt that she would be better suited to tending to the needs of a child than say Carlin who carries Layla around like a purse. But unlike Zach or Alyssa who have vocally and visibly challenged some of their parents' practices, Michaela reminisces about them fondly and would probably want to recreate them. 

[HermioneSparrow]

On 7/10/2020 at 8:26 PM, rebeccawriter01 said:

While I feel bad for her as someone else who cannot have children, I agree that I feel bad for a child born into any of those families. 

No doubt that she would be better suited to tending to the needs of a child than say Carlin who carries Layla around like a purse. But unlike Zach or Alyssa who have vocally and visibly challenged some of their parents' practices, Michaela reminisces about them fondly and would probably want to recreate them. 

All of them still follow the same beliefs, Alyssa is raising Allie to be a sister mom. IMO Michaela isn't worst than any of them. I do think it's a good thing she isn't raising kids in the cult.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

On 7/11/2020 at 8:41 PM, HermioneSparrow said:

All of them still follow the same beliefs, Alyssa is raising Allie to be a sister mom. IMO Michaela isn't worst than any of them. I do think it's a good thing she isn't raising kids in the cult.

I can see Michaela raising sister moms, but I can see her being more hands on than Alyssa. The way the family talks about her it sounds like any sister mom duty one of her sisters didn't want to do Michaela would step in. So, I think she'd be more hands on with her children.

[Johannah]

Does anyone know what happened to Michael’s nursing career/program? Wasn’t she supposed to finish it and graduate sometime this summer? I wonder if they moved online or if it was postponed due to covid. 

[rebeccawriter01]

10 minutes ago, Johannah said:

Does anyone know what happened to Michael’s nursing career/program? Wasn’t she supposed to finish it and graduate sometime this summer? I wonder if they moved online or if it was postponed due to covid. 

She mentioned that her classes were moved online. I don't know about practicum or in field hours though. Nursing is one of those programs that academics can be taught online such as anatomy or legal stuff. But it hard to reach someone how to start an IV, draw blood, or provide care over video or lecture only. I'd not be happy to sit in a doctor's office or hospital and hear my nurse say, "I know how to do this. I saw it on Youtube." 

However, I don't know how close she was to graduating. Some programs saw that there might have to be shut downs and let students double up on hours in the field to get them done before it became mandatory. My cousin is in Georgia and she did double shifts of her clinicals in January and February just in case. She works in the ICU already in telemetry, so she was a bit more prepared to work in a hospital in a pandemic than others. Her opinion was that hospitals and clinics were going to have to continue working anyway so nursing students should get in there and get used to it. 

Some states gave the go ahead that nursing students who were within so many days of graduation could apply for a waiver to work as a nurse without completing all rotations. But I'm not sure how Tennessee handled that or how her school dealt with it. Teacher candidates at many schools ended student teaching early and waived the requirement of a semester long student teaching experience. 

[haroldtheyrefundies]

14 hours ago, Johannah said:

Does anyone know what happened to Michael’s nursing career/program? Wasn’t she supposed to finish it and graduate sometime this summer? I wonder if they moved online or if it was postponed due to covid. 

On the Bates family update blog they mentioned that Michael's classes went back on campus around May/June. She should be in her last trimester and hopefully will be finishing her nursing program by the end of this month. She started it September of last year and it takes a year to complete. 

[Thorns]

On 8/6/2020 at 6:05 PM, rebeccawriter01 said:

She mentioned that her classes were moved online. I don't know about practicum or in field hours though. Nursing is one of those programs that academics can be taught online such as anatomy or legal stuff. But it hard to reach someone how to start an IV, draw blood, or provide care over video or lecture only. I'd not be happy to sit in a doctor's office or hospital and hear my nurse say, "I know how to do this. I saw it on Youtube." 

Degreed medical professional here. I haven't said that aloud to a patient ever, but man have I thought it. See one, do one, teach one is still very prevalent in my type of work, and Youtube (or a diagram in a book/written procedure counts as see one). So yeah. One of those things you do not really want to know about the medical profession.

[Kelsey]

On 8/6/2020 at 12:05 PM, rebeccawriter01 said:

I'd not be happy to sit in a doctor's office or hospital and hear my nurse say, "I know how to do this. I saw it on Youtube." 

 

It's super common in the medical field to learn things by watching. It's basically see it, do it, teach it.

In my time working in the er, it wasn't uncommom to see a nurse/medic/doctor looking on YouTube to figure out how to do something shortly before going into the patient's room and completing said task.

[Johannah]

What do we think is going on with Brandon’s latest post? Miscarriage? Failed fertility treatment? Covid fatigue?

 

[FluffySnowball]

On 7/9/2020 at 9:10 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

She praises her parents despite their support of the Pearls and she is still deep in a cult which has documented cases of child abuse...not to mention the cult's stated intention of limiting the education and opportunities for the children, especially girls.

I would much rather she be upset about being childless than to have another child born into a culture of abuse.  

I agree with you, @HerNameIsBuffy but I still think Michaela is a victim of her parent’s teaching more than her other married siblings in the sense that the role she was raised for is one she cannot fulfill. That must be heartbreaking. Still, I’d rather she doesn’t have children who she indoctrinates and abuses (while thinking she does right by them). 
 

Edited September 1, 2020 by FluffySnowball

[AussieKrissy]

3 hours ago, Johannah said:

What do we think is going on with Brandon’s latest post? Miscarriage? Failed fertility treatment? Covid fatigue?

 

maybe they are trying to work on accepting that a baby will never happen.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

5 hours ago, Johannah said:

What do we think is going on with Brandon’s latest post? Miscarriage? Failed fertility treatment? Covid fatigue?

 

Could be all of the above. I’ll bet ATI’s lost business in the downturn, and his job might be in danger. Lots of people are going through lots of shit in 2020.

[Dominionatrix]

I think we’ll see them do a private adoption in the next few years. Brandon might be content without children, but he knows how desperately Michael wants this, and in the end I’d be surprised if he denied her a child by refusing to adopt.

The show and her family’s fame in anti-choice communities also likely give them a major advantage in finding a child via private adoption (so an independent arrangement, without going through normal agency wait times). They are widely known as that sweet Christian couple who so love children; I think an episode on the show about their desire to adopt, maybe a social media share from a Duggar, and they have a much higher than average chance of finding someone willing to place with them. 

Edited September 2, 2020 by Dominionatrix
Typo

[Vivi_music]

@Dominionatrix I read on here the explanation as to why Gothard is anti-adoption. Children inherit the sins of the parents. Yada yada yada. But seriously none of his followers question this? Oh wait? Maybe because these people aren't able to think on their own?

In my mind, adopting a kid would actually be a very christian thing to do. Imagine a child who is not wanted, or is not living in the right conditions. A couple decides to give that child a stable home, a roof, love and affection and everything else he/she needs to grow up. Isn't that the definition of giving back?

 

[Italiangirl]

Also if they want to go by their beliefs, adopting a child from a sinner family shouldn't be the best thing possible? I mean you are showing the kids the right way to live and saving him/her from a sinner life. You are saving a soul, shouldn't that be the ultimate goal? More soul winner for your God? Isn't that better than someone born in that life? A sinner doesn't know any better before you shoving the best way, someone born and raised in the truth is in a way easier, luckier since doesn't know the outside world and has always lived the best way (according to their teachings) 

So shouldn't adoption be seen as a plus? As good things to do just because you are saving poor innocent babies that will other ways forced to live a sinner life? 

[FluffySnowball]

11 hours ago, Vivi_music said:

In my mind, adopting a kid would actually be a very christian thing to do. Imagine a child who is not wanted, or is not living in the right conditions. A couple decides to give that child a stable home, a roof, love and affection and everything else he/she needs to grow up. Isn't that the definition of giving back?

 

I absolutely agree with you, @Vivi_music and find the notion that one shouldn’t adopt odd and even immoral. Adoption can be a beautiful thing for both the parents and the child(ren). My high school English teacher has two children from Ghana and from what I as a student witnessed, it went wonderfully. He often lovingly spoke of his kids (he didn’t call them his adoptive kids, btw, which I really like), talked about what he does with them in their free time, brought them along to school celebrations and so on. I think he has a nice, loving, little family. Because of this, I always as adoption as something positive because the only “personal experience” I have with the topic is a good one. 
However, I think people only ought to adopt because they want a child and not because they feel they “do good” and “help a poor kid”. While the latter reasons might sound good on paper, adopting a child requires as much love, time, money, and worry as having a biological child. 

[geistmadl]

Their logic and beliefs are as incongruous as their faith. They are working on infertility..... I removed the ep when Dr. Vick said 40% of the time it is the man's issue. Brandon's facial expression was priceless. I wonder if he opted for the masturbatory or special condom during sex option when he collected his sperm for analysis.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

[Vivi_music]

10 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

However, I think people only ought to adopt because they want a child and not because they feel they “do good” and “help a poor kid”. While the latter reasons might sound good on paper, adopting a child requires as much love, time, money, and worry as having a biological child. 

Oh for sure! I hope when I said ''helping a child'', it didn't sound like I consider it the equivalent of a charity. No one should adopt just to make themself feel like a good and charitable person.

I agree you need to consider that child the same as your biological child. I simply meant that at least from a Christian perspective, I would think that especially adopting would be considered a altruistic thing to do in their views. Being as anti-abortion as they are, the fundies are SO keen on saving the poor souls of unborn babies. If they were coherent in their believe, they would also care for the children that end up on adoption lists.

Edited September 3, 2020 by Vivi_music
Grammar

[AussieKrissy]

Well she is graduated. Ancient uniform and all. Did she go to a fundie school for nursing? 

[indianabones]

Her eyes also changed color from blue to brown in the past year, apparently.

[Italiangirl]

The hat is photoshopped I don't why. Maybe she thinks nobody would have understood without it? And in the process, she has also decided to change the eye color? Strange for sure 

[FluffySnowball]

8 hours ago, Vivi_music said:

Oh for sure! I hope when I said ''helping a child'', it didn't sound like I consider it the equivalent of a charity. No one should adopt just to make themself feel like a good and charitable person.

I agree you need to consider that child the same as your biological child. I simply meant that at least from a Christian perspective, I would think that especially adopting would be considered a altruistic thing to do in their views. Being as anti-abortion as they are, the fundies are SO keen on saving the poor souls of unborn babies. If they were coherent in their believe, they would also care for the children that end up on adoption lists.

Absolutely! I just hope my post didn’t come across as criticizing yours because that’s not what I intended. 
You just made me think about some Christian families who see adoption as some sort of ministry, so I commented on that. 

[Melissa1977]

On 9/3/2020 at 3:44 AM, Vivi_music said:

In my mind, adopting a kid would actually be a very christian thing to do. Imagine a child who is not wanted, or is not living in the right conditions. A couple decides to give that child a stable home, a roof, love and affection and everything else he/she needs to grow up. Isn't that the definition of giving back?

Giving back is the reason behind a lot of Christian adoptions, and it's a huge mistake. In fact, parents with that motivation shouldn't be allowed to adopt inmediately, but be put on "stand by" to think if they really want a child. The only motivation for adoption should be the desire of having a child, exactly the same motivation for getting pregnant. When kids are adopted because "it is the right thing", "everybody in our church is adopting" or "I want to save an orphan", it' s a recipe for disaster. Good intentions are great, but good intentions are not enough to make you love a kid. Children are people, not "a cause", not a prop to make their parents look holier. 

I may sound harsh, but I would like to add that people shouldn't adopt just because they are infertile. They have to overcome the trauma of infertility first, and accept the adopted kid not as a "plan B", but as a wanted child him/herself. Adoption (especially of older children) is not the same that giving birth. Both can be wonderful, both can be hard...but the beginning of both are different. And parents have to be ready for that.