Michaela & Brandon Keilen 5: She Goes By Michaela

[lexiloumarie]

I was looking at Michaela's dress, and am I crazy or is it the same dress as Toris wedding? Or at least really close. 

[just_ordinary]

38 minutes ago, lexiloumarie said:

I was looking at Michaela's dress, and am I crazy or is it the same dress as Toris wedding? Or at least really close. 

That would actually be nice. I am always shaking my head about the amount of bridesmaids dresses some seem to accumulate. Especially as they have almost no other occasion to rewear them. Are they selling them afterward or do they just take up closet space? And what does it cost? Even if it’s just 100$ per dress, that’s adds up easily over time.

[lexiloumarie]

3 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

That would actually be nice. I am always shaking my head about the amount of bridesmaids dresses some seem to accumulate. Especially as they have almost no other occasion to rewear them. Are they selling them afterward or do they just take up closet space? And what does it cost? Even if it’s just 100$ per dress, that’s adds up easily over time.

Put new sleeves on or cut it and wear it again. 

[Audrey2]

I think of Fundie bridesmaids, and the movie 27 Dresses always comes to mind. I would love to see someone like a Jana Duggar, who has been in several weddings and is still unmarried at an age older than many fundies are unmarried, build her wedding around having each of the brides, who had Jana in their wedding, serving as bridesmaids and wearing a bridesmaid's dress from her wedding. No ombre effect here, but it would be kind of entertaining to see the former brides wearing the dress is they chose for others to wear.

[CarrotCake]

12 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

I think of Fundie bridesmaids, and the movie 27 Dresses always comes to mind. I would love to see someone like a Jana Duggar, who has been in several weddings and is still unmarried at an age older than many fundies are unmarried, build her wedding around having each of the brides, who had Jana in their wedding, serving as bridesmaids and wearing a bridesmaid's dress from her wedding. No ombre effect here, but it would be kind of entertaining to see the former brides wearing the dress is they chose for others to wear.

Some of them would regret their dresses a lot ?

[Audrey2]

4 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Some of them would regret their dresses a lot ?

Probably as much as the bridesmaids for their wedding did!

[Kelsey]

8 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Some of them would regret their dresses a lot ?

OMG. Jessa is the first that comes to mind.

[CarrotCake]

16 hours ago, Kelsey said:

OMG. Jessa is the first that comes to mind.

I thought exactly the same ?

And Michaela's as well but she is not the kind of girl who would show it.

[theotherelise]

Looking through some of the pics as this topic came up and yeah, Jana has been in a ridiculous number of weddings. Even outside the family. The weird tiered one from michael’s wedding was not flattering imo, but at least Jana had the pink one and not the brown.

I’d rank Alyssa Bates’ bridesmaids dresses below Jessas. Ymmv

[llucie]

So what type of nursing program could be just 12 months? an LPN? I have to say is nice for a change to see a fundie supporting his wife in the pursue of a higher education.

[ColeJo]

@llucie Diploma programs to become an RN can take one year. I looked up the nursing program at Pellissippi and there is a bridge program for those with EMT or LPN certification. I think she also took some classes at a community college to get the prerequisites out of the way.

Edited October 1, 2019 by ColeJo

[theotherelise]

Yeah, I believe she’s doing an RN program. She has a real associates degree already. This program sounds very intensive, but if she rises to the challenge, it could be a very economical path to being an RN.

I hope the little sisters get to see Michaela in scrubs with a stethoscope talking about work. 

[Mela99]

I saw the pic and I think Michaela looks very happy and excited. I think she will make a good nurse.

I felt bad today, someone on Facebook posted "oh good now she can do something besides bemoan infertility."

[theotherelise]

Ugh that’s such a crappy thing to say. Anyone who has gone through infertility has likely had someone in their life who thought they should get over it already. Not helpful.

Even here on FJ, I shared awhile back about how seeing the high amount of support toward Joy after her late pregnancy loss made me frustrated/emotional because people always say they hope Michael doesn’t get pregnant. And someone responded that the way they see it, pregnancy loss is something bad happening to someone and infertility is just not getting what you want. Ouch. 

For the record, women going through infertility have stress levels equivalent to women fighting cancer and HIV. 

That said, it is important with any chronic condition to find happiness and fulfillment where you can in life, and pursue all the components of wellness possible. And accepting or resolving to be child free is a legitimate response to infertility. 

Michaela appears to really enjoy being close to her younger siblings and nieces and nephews. She has expressed interest in nursing for years, got real education, and talked about saving up for school for a long time. I don’t think they’ve really bemoaned the infertility much publicly (especially in light of how much the whole family talks about babies!), but it has got to be nice for her to have something new and exciting to put her focus on.

idk, I’m rambling now as I type this from bed! Michael seems really happy and I’m glad she is taking the situation life has given her and found a path that will be fulfilling. 

Disclaimer: ofc the usual... hope it opens up her mind to others and broadens her understanding of the world and she doesn’t just proselytize etc etc.

[Curious]

On 9/15/2019 at 6:46 PM, heysmilinstrange said:

I'm in tears over Kardigan. ?

I feel bad for this kid.  She's (I assume a girl) going to go through life having to spell her name every. single. time. and say stuff like "yes, like the sweater"

People need to THINK before naming their human children that have to interact with other humans both adult and children.   I suppose it's not as bad as when I was a kid because unique names are more common now, but it gets exhausting.  By the time I was in 5th grade my biggest dream was to turn 18 so I could change my name.

I didn't do that because by the time I was 18 I'd gotten used to it and kind of liked being like Cher or Madonna.  No last name needed   Elementary school-high school were not a lot of fun though.   I suppose that's one thing these kids don't have to deal with.

I had a teacher, in front of the class on the first day of 5th grade, ask me if my parents put all the letters of the alphabet in a hat, draw out 5 and arrange them until they made a word.  It was humiliating, particularly since my name isn't actually a word (in the way he meant), however, it's one letter off a word...

Save Kardigan for your dog or cat.

[lumpentheologie]

7 hours ago, theotherelise said:

Even here on FJ, I shared awhile back about how seeing the high amount of support toward Joy after her late pregnancy loss made me frustrated/emotional because people always say they hope Michael doesn’t get pregnant. And someone responded that the way they see it, pregnancy loss is something bad happening to someone and infertility is just not getting what you want. Ouch. 

That was me.  I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to be hurtful.  I don't want to diminish anyone's pain.  

Having no personal experience with infertility, it's hard for me to understand how it makes people feel. To me, it seems like wanting to have children is comparable to wanting to be in a lifetime relationship or wanting to go to college.  Basically a major life goal.  So it's not clear to me why not being able to have children would be different than not getting to do those other things. Maybe that's because getting an education and finding a partner have been more important goals for me than having children. I know it's unfair to expect people who are suffering from something to take on the additional burden of explaining that suffering to others, but I'd be grateful if anyone does want to share their experience so I can understand better. 

Again, I'm really sorry if this comparison offends or hurts anyone. 

[Curious]

18 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

That was me.  I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to be hurtful.  I don't want to diminish anyone's pain.  

Having no personal experience with infertility, it's hard for me to understand how it makes people feel. To me, it seems like wanting to have children is comparable to wanting to be in a lifetime relationship or wanting to go to college.  Basically a major life goal.  So it's not clear to me why not being able to have children would be different than not getting to do those other things. Maybe that's because getting an education and finding a partner have been more important goals for me than having children. I know it's unfair to expect people who are suffering from something to take on the additional burden of explaining that suffering to others, but I'd be grateful if anyone does want to share their experience so I can understand better. 

Again, I'm really sorry if this comparison offends or hurts anyone. 

Infertility is a special kind of hell, particularly for women that have been raised to believe their whole purpose in life is to have babies.

I suffered from infertility, though I ended up having 2 healthy kids eventually.  I did low key fertility treatments (clomid) for a year with no luck.  The month after I went off the clomid I got pregnant.

Pregnancy is something all woman are supposed to be able to naturally do, so when suddenly you find out you can't easily get pregnant and it seems like ALL your friends and every other woman in the world is currently pregnant or has a newborn it can be pretty hard.

It doesn't help that society expects married couples to have children within a certain period of time or you start getting the "when are you guys finally going to have a baby" comments.  Added to this some people get immense pressure from their parents about being "given" grandchildren.

Wanting to get an education or be married can be things that people want to do and there can be some pressure to do those things, but they are, for most of society, not something that one is naturally supposed to do and with ease to boot.

I was on birth control for a year after my first was born and then my relationship status changed and I didn't think I'd get pregnant again.  Three years later, right when I started college, surprise!

I never wanted more than 2 kids so it worked out ok for me. I'm sure it's different for others, but that was my experience.

[tabitha2]

Let’s be real: Michaela does not have children and probably won’t.Her getting some schooling and possibly a job is only allowed because God has not blessed here in their eyes. It’s failure. If she got pregnant she would drop all this like a hot rock per Abbey Duggar. 

[HereticHick]

No snark here: Good for Brandon for that post

[SassyPants]

I feel badly for Michaela.  I do, but maybe, just maybe, this will make these folks see why “leaving it all up to God” would be better off left as a thought vs a statement. Sometimes God says your number is zero. So what does that mean for a woman in a cult where a female’s only job is motherhood? Is she deemed useless and unworthy? 

Edited October 1, 2019 by SassyPants

[kmachete14]

@SassyPants

In the mind of Lori Alexander, it is not "motherhood" but "keeper at home." First woman was created to help man, then the commandment was to multiply.  So Michaela is still worthy of being a keeper at home, and should just stay at home cooking and cleaning and babysitting for her siblings for the rest of her life, since she can't have her own children. 

Lori would consider Michaela's nursing career to be sinning.

Fundies don't claim infertile women aren't worthy, but how can one not think they'd feel that way anyway, considering they were raised to only be a mother?

 

[Bobology]

4 hours ago, Curious said:

Infertility is a special kind of hell, particularly for women that have been raised to believe their whole purpose in life is to have babies.

To add to this and all that you said, infertility can also rob a woman of her femininity, at least her feeling of femininity. Some infertility is due to PCOS, which may also cause the woman to develop sparse head hair while having loads of unwanted body hair... talk about a triple threat to femininity. Those women especially have my compassion.

[theotherelise]

This is my final post from National Infertility Awareness Week this past April:

Spoiler

It’s the last day of #nationalinfertilityawarenessweek, hopefully you’ve learned something! To close it out, I thought I’d reinforce how infertility affects every part of my wellness. ? emotionally, IF causes stress, anxiety, depression, guilt, and bitterness, ? maritally, IF brings stress into the bedroom and creates hundreds of decision points most don’t have to consider, ? socially, IF results in a whole lot of isolation as people either forget you or you just can’t handle situations that put you constantly in convos focused on pregnancy and babies, ??‍♀️physically, IF means dealing with side effects and symptoms and body changes you have no control over all while you (and others!) keep worrying you’re not eating the right things, ??‍?occupationally, IF causes you to miss work for treatment and regularly distracts you from tasks, ? financially, IF wrecks your bank account and redirects long term planning, ? intellectually, IF feels sometimes like it steals your creativity and leaves little room for fun pursuits, ✝️ spiritually, IF makes you question everything, feel abandoned, and almost start from scratch with faith and trust. Infertility will keep going for me after this week. Don’t forget about your friends and family who continue to struggle. If you’re struggling, don’t forget that you’re not alone. #infertilitysucks #infertilityuncovered #niaw

The best part of infertility though, is that it has made me way more aware of other people who are hurting physically or emotionally. So yeah, it can be really really difficult to be single and desiring a relationship while your friends and family members seemingly move on around you. And it's really difficult to live with chronic pain or digestive issues or migraines. And we don't tend to do a great job giving those we care about the ongoing support they need. 

So whenever we can, we need to try and understand what someone else is going through in their life and just trust the validity of their description.

I really don't just love Michaela or fangirl over her or whatever, but when I saw the picture below, all I could think was that I'm not sure I could've handled going on this outing if I were her:

Tori - likely pregnant or about to be with her 2nd before her 2nd anniversary; Erin - pregnant with her 4th in <5 years; Whitney - pregnant with her 3rd on her 26th bday; Carlin - pregnant with a honeymoon baby; Josie - just gave birth before her first anniversary (internal infertile thought: *and she'll be pregnant again before me*).

That's every day with infertility for Michael. So I truly do hope she's reached some kind of acceptance, because she cannot escape this even if she does abandon some of her more abhorrent beliefs.

[IrishCarrie]

You guys are deeeep...I looked at the pic and wondered if she was wearing scrub pants or a skirt ???

[Kelsey]

On 9/28/2019 at 1:14 PM, theotherelise said:

 

I’d rank Alyssa Bates’ bridesmaids dresses below Jessas. Ymmv

Jana wasn't in Alyssa's wedding though.

I'm glad Michael is going to nursing school. At least the younger girls will see a woman doing something other than breeding (unless she manages to get pregnant). 

I can't imagine she doesn't wear scrubs pants. I know skirts are an option but I've never seen anyone choose them in 5+ years working at a teaching hospital.

I was surprised to see her hair down too. You usually don't see that.