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HerNameIsBuffy

Gwen Shamblin 7: I am the Potato Chip of Life

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throwaway9988

Is it sacrilegious to lick the potato chip of life?

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Satisfied
HerNameIsBuffy
6 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I should have said dill dip-

1 cup reduced-fat sour cream.

1 cup fat-free mayonnaise.

1 tablespoon chopped onion.

1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley.

1 tablespoon dill weed.

3/4 teaspoon seasoned salt.

Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour or until chilled

Oh and some cherry tomatoes does sound good!

Ooh thanks - yummy.  

See Gwen / this is how you eat properly.  

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quiversR4hunting
2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Ooh thanks - yummy.  

See Gwen / this is how you eat properly.  

Tzatziki (I still can't pronounce it) sauce would also be good on the pita with veggies. 

https://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/tzatziki-sauce-greek-cucumber-yogurt-sauce-304166 

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
Posted (edited)

So, Bro Gary will always come to mind when I think of, or eat, biscuits and gravy. (Not weenie gravy, thank Rufus, Beansie, and the FSM.) Gwennie comes to mind when I have chips, now especially Fritos. :pb_rollseyes: 

And now I have a song stuck in my head. (A verse someone made up to add to "Give Me Oil in My Lamp, Keep Me Burning".)

Give me salt for my Fritos

God is neato, neato, neato

Give me salt for my Fritos I pray!

(Hallelujah!)

Give me salt for my Fritos 

God is neato, neato, neato

God is neato til the break of day!

(I never said it was a good verse that someone made up! The "Give Me Gas for My Ford, Keep Me Truckin' for the Lord" verse was much better. :pb_lol: )

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
Punctuation. All Beansie's fault.

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SuperNova
5 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Keep in mind that the Israelites, God’s people, ate processed foods. In Leviticus 2, they used the most finely ground flour, fats, and salts to make bread, which is very similar to our present-day Frito. The world will condemn fats, however, fats were made by God to carry the aroma, and without them it would be impossible to swallow foods. Fats are an essential nutrient for good health.

Hands down this is my favorite thing that Gwen has ever written. Who else but Gwen would try to make a biblical argument for fuckin Fritos? I don't think I've ever felt that strongly about a snack food.

I've always heard that original Fritos make your boobs perkier. Thanks to Gwen, I now know that perkier boobs aren't just an added bonus, it is god's plan for my tits.

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Pianokeeper

Two of the most oft-repeated criticisms here are: "Gwen doesn't understand nutrition and tries to pretend she does," and "Her advice could literally kill people, and her daughter is emaciated." 

I know which of these two statements would light a fire under my bum to think, respond, and act.  But apparently she's prioritized the other one, instead.

I feel like this tells me all I will ever need to know about this woman.

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AmazonGrace
Quote

If you happen to swallow a trace amount of a chemical that the body does not like, such as a pesticide, then the liver traps it and breaks it down, preventing it from entering your normal bloodstream or damaging your liver.

Quote

your liver will filter any harmful substances.

She has such a naive faith that her liver will protect her from any and all toxins.  But I have it on good authority that people have  died because they swallowed something harmful.

Spoiler

fats were made by God to carry the aroma, and without them it would be impossible to swallow foods.

So how does she get the diet soda down then? There's precious little fat in it yet swallowing it seems possible.

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smittykins
3 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

which came with a snoopy sticker while Matzah did not so what was I bitching about?

Oh, I loved those Peanuts stickers!(In my area, it was Millbrook[same corporate ownership]).

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AmazonGrace
1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

Hands down this is my favorite thing that Gwen has ever written. Who else but Gwen would try to make a biblical argument for fuckin Fritos? I don't think I've ever felt that strongly about a snack food.

 

I feel like Matthew 14:13-21 is the biblical argument for Filet'o'Fish
 

Spoiler

 

Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand

13 When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

18 “Bring them here to me,” he said. 19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

 

 

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formergothardite

I'm pretty sure Daniel 1 is proof that men of God were vegan. The guys who shunned alcohol and rich foods to drink water and eat veggies ended up the healthiest. 

Oh Gwen, there is really no point in trying. We can out Bible and science you. 

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SuperNova
11 hours ago, formergothardite said:

present-day Frito

I'm starting my own bat shit crazy food cult. We will be called the Present Day Fritos, not to be confused with the Latter Day Saints.

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JermajestyDuggar

I bet Gwen thinks Frito Pie was served at the last supper. 

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Spent
Briefly
8 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I bet Gwen thinks Frito Pie was served at the last supper. 

Frito Pie is kind of required for Texans.  Chili Frito Pie is actually how a lot of people refer to it, and it is wonderful!  Not at all healthy, but it's sure good.  We have it every so often as a treat.  It's also pretty easy to make.

I do think it's funny-sad that so much of what Gwod writes about is obvious proof that she does in fact read here.  I predict that will change shortly, because she probably thinks she has to prove to us poor, deluded non-believers that she is so smart!  Instead of dumb and predictable.  And dangerous.

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formergothardite

I told my husband when he got home that Gwen claimed the Frito was in the Bible and he didn't believe me until I showed him.I have told him some pretty insane things I've read on FJ but this is a whole new level of insanity. 

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JermajestyDuggar
15 minutes ago, Briefly said:

Frito Pie is kind of required for Texans.  Chili Frito Pie is actually how a lot of people refer to it, and it is wonderful!  Not at all healthy, but it's sure good.  We have it every so often as a treat.  It's also pretty easy to make.

I do think it's funny-sad that so much of what Gwod writes about is obvious proof that she does in fact read here.  I predict that will change shortly, because she probably thinks she has to prove to us poor, deluded non-believers that she is so smart!  Instead of dumb and predictable.  And dangerous.

I’m a chili purest. Just give it to me straight up in a bowl. No chili dogs, chili pie, or chili spaghetti for me. 

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Red Hair, Black Dress
11 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

And I, too, worry about the body image being foisted as normal on the children of RF.  And the early marriages.  And the stay close to home mentality.  And the emphasis on material goods.  And...and...and...

And having children right away after marriage. And being under authority to Gwen in every aspect of their lives.  And wives and children submitting to husbands/fathers in everything. And foregoing college /community college/ trade school because Gwen said so and someone in RF will give them a job.

And most of all for never, ever, ever thinking for themselves.

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OperationSunshine
10 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Tzatziki (I still can't pronounce it) sauce would also be good on the pita with veggies. 

https://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/tzatziki-sauce-greek-cucumber-yogurt-sauce-304166 

That was my exact thought when I was reading about the dill dip, hahaha! Tzatziki is incredible, and SO easy to make! 

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quiversR4hunting
5 hours ago, OperationSunshine said:

That was my exact thought when I was reading about the dill dip, hahaha! Tzatziki is incredible, and SO easy to make! 

I've never made it but I love it! I think I need to try and make it now! 

Do you use regular Greek yogurt as the base?

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formergothardite

No devotional up this morning. She must still be attempting to write it. Yesterday's was spectacularly bad with the whole Frito thing, so she is probably nursing her bruised ego this morning. 

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quiversR4hunting
4 hours ago, formergothardite said:

No devotional up this morning. She must still be attempting to write it. Yesterday's was spectacularly bad with the whole Frito thing, so she is probably nursing her bruised ego this morning. 

Where does she post the devotionals? I was bored and took a cruise around RF, GSL and WD f/b pages. On Gwen's (GSL) public f/b page she wrote this little ditty

Quote

As you approach the day, remember that weighing less tomorrow is more fun than taking one bite more than you need of anything today! God’s ways are awesome!

I'm sorry but me taking "one bite more" of anything today will not make me heavier tomorrow nor will taking one less bite today make me weigh less tomorrow. 

Oh and as for God's ways - yeah, he actually provided quail & manna from heaven when they were starving in the desert. I think his way is for people not to starve. 

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HerNameIsBuffy
3 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Oh and as for God's ways - yeah, he actually provided quail & manna from heaven when they were starving in the desert. I think his way is for people not to starve. 

Don’t give her any ideas.  Instead of waiting for the growl she’ll allow people to eat only manna from Heaven.

They’ll all be praying for a Tennessee version of the Kentucky Meat Shower!

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formergothardite
4 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Where does she post the devotionals? I was bored and took a cruise around RF, GSL and WD f/b pages. On Gwen's (GSL) public f/b page she wrote this little ditty

http://www.gwenshamblinlara.com/daily-devotional/

Still not devotional. She has done this before. When she has written something particularly ridiculous that gets snarked on she has skipped the next day. 

Gwen can't write daily devotionals about God, we have seen her try. She has also tried writing really bland stuff and that appears to be a struggle, so she is stuck trying to present her teachings as normal but there is no way to do that.  I imagine she really doesn't know what to write.  If she takes down the daily devotional we will know it is because she can't deal with exposing her teachings so people can discuss them. 

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SuperNova
2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Still not devotional. She has done this before. When she has written something particularly ridiculous that gets snarked on she has skipped the next day. 

Yeah I just checked and nothing. I think we hurt her feelers.

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formergothardite
Posted (edited)

I think we really did! I bet she is also embarrassed because she looked like an complete fool saying the Bible gave us a Frito recipe and she probably didn't know they were made out of corn and/or that corn wasn't eaten in the Bible. 

I wonder if she had been drinking wine when she write that devotional. 

Edited by formergothardite

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AmazonGrace

Wine is totally biblical, luv.

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