Jinjer 49: Westward Ho!

[Syriana 747]

16 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I think Felicity's hairbow can double as a dishscrubber.

Or one of those net shower ball things that you load with gel and it foams up as you scrub.

Edited May 14 by Syriana

[Ivycoveredtower 12,531]

Okay I was just over on the Duggar family wikipedia page and someone added how all the children were born they have Marcus as a home birth but didn't they go to a birth center? also they have Jinger as a natural hospital birth but she had an epi  and was induced so wouldn't that be considered a medicated birth? 

[allthegoodnamesrgone 39,924]

My SIL used to put this ENORMOUS white bow on my nieces head for photos, she has worn the same bow in at least photo sitting every year since she was born, She just turned 7 and the bow STILL looks big on her little head. Granted she is small for a 7 year old (20th percentile for height and weight) but this bow is redonkulous. Of course it pisses my mother off to no end so that is a nice bonus, and probably why she keeps putting it on her. I would never do this to my kid, 1st of all she wouldn't have stood for it, even as an infant, and 2nd of all while I Love big sparkly hair bows, I never put them on my daughter, I pulled her hair back out of her face when it was long enough, but she stopped letting me touch her hair when she was about 7. She's never had all that much hair it is very thin and curly when she was little, so I always left it down, she was SOO CUTE. 

[PennySycamore 34,381]

I think that photo of Felicity in the swing with that big flower on her head looks like she's got a corsage on her head.

[PennySycamore 34,381]

@just_ordinary, even if your new home is not a classic Eichler or a Cliff May Case Study house (which ARE worthy of preservation), you still may find something useful at RetroRenovation.  There's a lot of information about renovating safely as older homes may have lead and asbestos issues.  There are loads of tips about how to renovate in ways that respect the mid-century-ness of your home.  You don't have to go with colored appliances or keep your blue bathroom,  but it is recommended (and not just by us RetroRenovaters) that you live with what you can in the house for a while before you renovate.  If you do somehow fall in love with colored appliances, you can always get stoves painted at an auto-body shop.  There's also the option of wrapping the fridge and dishwasher in colored vinyl.

That said, there is little in my mid-60s ranch that is classically MCM.   We're probably the fourth or maybe even the fifth homeowners and the house has been changed from what it was originally.  Someone years ago added some farmhouse or rustic touches and that's what we have to work with.  I need a kitchen designer to help me meld mid-century and what's been done to the house over the years.  Maybe Eames stools at the island?  Maybe Formica  looking Caesarstone? Maybe actual Formica or Wilson Art?  

RetroRenovation

[StraightOuttaArkansas 2,057]

Seriously JinJer!?! I just defended your bow and said at least its not a giant flower and then you do this!?!?! Well then, consider me a hater of YOUR bows, exclusively yours though, because bows are cool.

[SassyPants 42,558]

I don’t understand the need for giant bows on such cute little kids, particularly in a family where modesty in attire is a buzz/default phrase. There’s nothing modest about those bows. In the family picture where Lissy is sporting that green one, it actually takes away from the photo, IMO.

[Screamapillar 14,333]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I don’t understand the need for giant bows on such cute little kids, particularly in a family where modesty in attire is a buzz/default phrase. There’s nothing modest about those bows. In the family picture where Lissy is sporting that green one, it actually takes away from the photo, IMO.

I agree. When a little bald baby is wearing a huge bow, all I see is the bow. Kind of like those wedding dresses of the 80s with huge ass bows on the back.

Bows are like the garlic powder of fashion. When used in excess, they overpower everything.

[Longhairedheathen 468]

On 5/14/2019 at 4:26 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

My SIL used to put this ENORMOUS white bow on my nieces head for photos, she has worn the same bow in at least photo sitting every year since she was born, She just turned 7 and the bow STILL looks big on her little head. Granted she is small for a 7 year old (20th percentile for height and weight) but this bow is redonkulous. Of course it pisses my mother off to no end so that is a nice bonus, and probably why she keeps putting it on her. I would never do this to my kid, 1st of all she wouldn't have stood for it, even as an infant, and 2nd of all while I Love big sparkly hair bows, I never put them on my daughter, I pulled her hair back out of her face when it was long enough, but she stopped letting me touch her hair when she was about 7. She's never had all that much hair it is very thin and curly when she was little, so I always left it down, she was SOO CUTE. 

I had to wear bows as a child I vowed to never be a bow mom. I hated it, I hated seeing such tiny babies with huge bows. My child was going to be my wild child with leaves and sticks in their hair, never having those horrible bows pinching and pulling hair....

NOPE! My oldest adores her long hair, hairbrushes, bobby pins, and huge jojo bows (if you aren't sure what they are. it is a fist sized sparkly monstrosity of a bows that cost $6 to $12 for a single one). 

Her hair is down to her butt and she is 5. I grew up with strict hair rules so I let her have free reign.  I figure she'll grow out of it or she start changing to it drastically.  I am excited to see as she grows. 

[Sullie06 2,668]

30 minutes ago, Longhairedheathen said:

I had to wear bows as a child I vowed to never be a bow mom. I hated it, I hated seeing such tiny babies with huge bows. My child was going to be my wild child with leaves and sticks in their hair, never having those horrible bows pinching and pulling hair....

NOPE! My oldest adores her long hair, hairbrushes, bobby pins, and huge jojo bows (if you aren't sure what they are. it is a fist sized sparkly monstrosity of a bows that cost $6 to $12 for a single one). 

Her hair is down to her butt and she is 5. I grew up with strict hair rules so I let her have free reign.  I figure she'll grow out of it or she start changing to it drastically.  I am excited to see as she grows. 

My 3 year old would never keep bows or headbands on her head as baby. I would try but not force the situation. Now that shes 3 she will not leave the house without some sort of bow, headband or giant barrette on her head. 

[twoandthrough 1,123]

Sounds like my mom - she wanted me to be a girly girl, and I was tomboy 100%. She would put me in dresses, and I would just flip around the yard, showing my butt. She put shorts on underneath the dresses because of that. 😛 My oldest daughter (3.5) LOVES to wear bows in her hair and has since day one. My younger daughter (1.5) doesn't like them as much. If I put one on her and she yanks it off, I just leave it off. Some days, she doesn't mind, and some days, she pulls that things off before I can put my hands back down by my side! I don't really care either way... I just try since her sister likes them so much. They are very different little personalities, though, that is for sure. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone 39,924]

There was always this part of me that never wanted to force a sense of style/self on my daughter.  DD looks a lot like me she acts like me she has my drive and my fuck you attitude but she is also herself.  While I love sparkly glittery over the top things, I didn't push that on her, I think I subconsciously let her develop her own sense of style. Did she ever, shopping with her is a nightmare it is so much easier to give her my debit card and said you have XXX amount to spend have fun.  It works, I see where we are a like and where we are different, I raised her to be herself, to let no one, not even me, tell her who she is, and that is exactly what she is. I couldn't love her more or be more proud of her for her being who she is. 

[Granwych 18,330]

On 5/15/2019 at 10:48 AM, PennySycamore said:

I think that photo of Felicity in the swing with that big flower on her head looks like she's got a corsage on her head.

Without my glasses, I read that as a cabbage on her head.

23 hours ago, Longhairedheathen said:

I had to wear bows as a child I vowed to never be a bow mom. I hated it, I hated seeing such tiny babies with huge bows. My child was going to be my wild child with leaves and sticks in their hair, never having those horrible bows pinching and pulling hair....

NOPE! My oldest adores her long hair, hairbrushes, bobby pins, and huge jojo bows (if you aren't sure what they are. it is a fist sized sparkly monstrosity of a bows that cost $6 to $12 for a single one). 

Her hair is down to her butt and she is 5. I grew up with strict hair rules so I let her have free reign.  I figure she'll grow out of it or she start changing to it drastically.  I am excited to see as she grows. 

Wychling had the butt-length hair, too.  I admired bow barrett-based bow in a store and picked it up, intending to purchase it.  Saw the price,$6.00.  Put it right back down and learned how to make them myself.  I learned how to make baby-sized headbands and bows.  They are tiny and actually are cute.

[Longhairedheathen 468]

22 minutes ago, Granwych said:

Without my glasses, I read that as a cabbage on her head.

Wychling had the butt-length hair, too.  I admired bow barrett-based bow in a store and picked it up, intending to purchase it.  Saw the price,$6.00.  Put it right back down and learned how to make them myself.  I learned how to make baby-sized headbands and bows.  They are tiny and actually are cute.

Merry Meet. 

I am to busy to make them, I feel better when supporting a friends small bow and hair accessory shop but that price tag shock hurts. 

 

[Iamtheway 17,075]

On 5/16/2019 at 9:37 PM, Longhairedheathen said:

I had to wear bows as a child I vowed to never be a bow mom. I hated it, I hated seeing such tiny babies with huge bows. My child was going to be my wild child with leaves and sticks in their hair, never having those horrible bows pinching and pulling hair....

NOPE! My oldest adores her long hair, hairbrushes, bobby pins, and huge jojo bows (if you aren't sure what they are. it is a fist sized sparkly monstrosity of a bows that cost $6 to $12 for a single one). 

Her hair is down to her butt and she is 5. I grew up with strict hair rules so I let her have free reign.  I figure she'll grow out of it or she start changing to it drastically.  I am excited to see as she grows. 

But you’re not making her wear them, you are letting her make her own decisions and when she grows up she’ll only have fond memories of bows. If she ever has a girl of her own she’ll have one of those bow-boards in the nursery and the she will get a crazy tomboy that wants to cut her hair super short and hates bows because that’s the way life works. 

Miniway is also 5 and I let him pick his own clothes (within reason, no shorts in the middle of winter) and decide over his hair. He wants it long and loves pink, sparkly things. Everyone that has ever met him thinks he’s a girl. He doesn’t care at all and I’m not looking forward to the day when peer presure makes him beg for camouflage t-shirts instead of unicorn dresses with glitter. 

[VelociRapture 100,693]

We let our daughter pick what clothes she wants to wear most days. She’s almost 2.5, so she’s more than old enough to have an opinion. If she’s out shopping with me I’ll let her pick between different options too. It makes it easier to get her to cooperate when it comes time to get ready for the day and I’m all about not fighting battles I don’t have to.

We haven’t had her hair cut yet. It’s probably about halfway down her back at this point because it grows fast. We kind of want to wait and just let her decide when she feels ready for the first cut. Part of that is because, again, I’m not fighting a battle I don’t have to. Life is much easier that way. But it’s also because we both feel she should have as much control as possible over her own body. Hair length isn’t something that’s really all that important in the grand scheme of things, but it’s still one of the things she can really control about herself and we want to try to respect that. I’d like to do that with our next child regardless of whether it’s a boy or girl too, but we’ll see what happens. 

On 5/16/2019 at 3:37 PM, Longhairedheathen said:

I had to wear bows as a child I vowed to never be a bow mom. I hated it, I hated seeing such tiny babies with huge bows. My child was going to be my wild child with leaves and sticks in their hair, never having those horrible bows pinching and pulling hair....

NOPE! My oldest adores her long hair, hairbrushes, bobby pins, and huge jojo bows (if you aren't sure what they are. it is a fist sized sparkly monstrosity of a bows that cost $6 to $12 for a single one). 

Her hair is down to her butt and she is 5. I grew up with strict hair rules so I let her have free reign.  I figure she'll grow out of it or she start changing to it drastically.  I am excited to see as she grows. 

See, I think that’s the way to go about it. You had an idea about how you’d parent, realized it wasn’t going to fly with the actual kid you have, and you adjusted your expectations to accommodate that. I think it’s awesome you’re respecting her personal style even though it’s not what you imagined.  

Edited May 18 by VelociRapture

[Palimpsest 75,506]

Holy, Rufus, @VelociRapture, I just misread your last post and almost had a heart attack.

51 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

We let our daughter pick what clothes she wants to wear most days. She’s almost 2.5, so she’s more than old enough to have an opinion.

I misread that as "almost 25."  And that is way, way, old enough to have an opinion.  I must have dealt with too many helicopter parents of college students to have misread you so badly.

And, of course, 2.5 is also old enough to have an opinion, within reason.  Good parenting there,  Limiting the choices is a good idea for your own sanity, but give her some choices.   It is part of learning.  And she can make less than optimal choices (within reason) and learn from them too.  It is part of growing up.

Parenting is a leaning experience too, and flexibility is a good thing.

 

Edited May 18 by Palimpsest

[louisa05 33,788]

@Palimpsest My cousin's kids are 27 and 24 and barely allowed to have their own opinions. They regularly complain on social media that they don't like the shampoo their mother bought them or they want to do something she won't let them do. They don't seem to understand that they are grown adults and can buy their own shampoo and do whatever they want. 

On the bow topic, those enormous bows are all the rage at primary age right now. PreK-2nd graders are almost all wearing them. And the things fall out. Over and over. All day long. So what do teachers spend a ridiculous amount of time doing? Putting the damn things back. 

[VelociRapture 100,693]

11 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Holy, Rufus, @VelociRapture, I just misread your last post and almost had a heart attack.

I misread that as "almost 25."  And that is way, way, old enough to have an opinion.  I must have dealt with too many helicopter parents of college students to have misread you so badly.

And, of course, 2.5 is also old enough to have an opinion, within reason.  Good parenting there,  Limiting the choices is a good idea for your own sanity, but give her some choices.   It is part of learning.  And she can make less than optimal choices (within reason) and learn from them too.  It is part of growing up.

Parenting is a leaning experience too, and flexibility is a good thing.

 

I look damn good for having a 25 year old. 😂

We honestly didn’t have any choice other than to be flexible with parenting. Our daughter made it clear she was going to be a stubborn little peanut when she insisted early December was the right time to be born. It’s just easier (and yes, healthier) to give her choices when it’s appropriate. Plus, I kind of love when she insists her pink rubber rain boots are the perfect shoes to wear when it’s completely dry out. Lol!

[CharlieInCharge 4,197]

I somewhat envy those of you with kids who like picking out their clothes. Most days it’s a struggle just to get my guy to wear clothes. He is 5 1/2 and about the only thing he gets picky about is underwear. Apparently they are only for going into town, not around the house 🙄

[Shouldabeenacowboy 2,582]

My little monkey is 1.5 and has started to show how independent and headstrong he is...when given a choice between pants A and pants B, he shrugs it off/ doesn't care, but try and help him put them on, or brush his hair, or brush his teeth, etc. he does a full on Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde. He wants to do it independently! I let him (help him where I can) and he's so proud of himself

[OyToTheVey 9,814]

15 hours ago, louisa05 said:

@Palimpsest My cousin's kids are 27 and 24 and barely allowed to have their own opinions. They regularly complain on social media that they don't like the shampoo their mother bought them or they want to do something she won't let them do. They don't seem to understand that they are grown adults and can buy their own shampoo and do whatever they want. 

From experience, it's not that easy. It took many many years for me to even think I could buy a different shampoo. It's a mindset. Most of us with overbearing mothers don't even realize or consider that one can do that. To this day, every time I go shopping I think if my mom would approve. Granted I wear what I want but it's still my first thought. 

[melon 4,357]

6 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

From experience, it's not that easy. It took many many years for me to even think I could buy a different shampoo. It's a mindset. Most of us with overbearing mothers don't even realize or consider that one can do that. To this day, every time I go shopping I think if my mom would approve. Granted I wear what I want but it's still my first thought. 

My mother,grandmother and mother in law used to tell me which brands I should buy.Not just shampoo.

 

All.The.Time.

I bought what I wanted.

 

[louisa05 33,788]

1 hour ago, OyToTheVey said:

From experience, it's not that easy. It took many many years for me to even think I could buy a different shampoo. It's a mindset. Most of us with overbearing mothers don't even realize or consider that one can do that. To this day, every time I go shopping I think if my mom would approve. Granted I wear what I want but it's still my first thought. 

I can totally see that in these two kids. It's sad. The daughter whines on social media constantly about not being allowed to color her hair or wear certain things. Someone commented once that she can go to the salon and get her hair colored since she's well over 18 and has her own money. She ignored that.  They both live at home and mom controls them like they are young teens at most. If you had no idea how old her kids were and listened to her talk, you'd guess about 10 and 13. Both of them have jobs (not  in their fields) and college degrees but don't seem to get that they can leave home. 

[SassyPants 42,558]

27 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I can totally see that in these two kids. It's sad. The daughter whines on social media constantly about not being allowed to color her hair or wear certain things. Someone commented once that she can go to the salon and get her hair colored since she's well over 18 and has her own money. She ignored that.  They both live at home and mom controls them like they are young teens at most. If you had no idea how old her kids were and listened to her talk, you'd guess about 10 and 13. Both of them have jobs (not  in their fields) and college degrees but don't seem to get that they can leave home. 

This is psychological abuse IMO. Those kids have been growth/maturation retarded by their parents.