M is for Mama 4: S is for Shaving Shiloh

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, Screamapillar said:

I love when my daughter makes what Abby calls "junk sculptures." How heartless for her to refer to something that sprang from her child's imagination as "nonsense."

I love my children’s creativity. I probably praise them too much for it. Anytime my children create something, I want them to tell me all about it. I imagine so much creativity is squashed in fundieland because it doesn’t adhere to one of their many narrow views.

[TuringMachine]

I've been weirding my mom out lately cause all the people we follow make me compelled to thank her for being a good mom. I can't imagine being so concerned with appearances that you would get mad a what, 4 year old? for not meticulously keeping his shelf in order. Growing up, my mom's definition of cleaned up was simply not on the floor.  She probably would've enjoyed it if I made a sculpture out of toys on the shelf.

Edited August 23, 2019 by TuringMachine

[danvillebelle]

She is a perfect example of one of the many reasons I am done with Christianity (or I suppose to be more exact, done with Christians) - Jesus as get out of jail free card.  FYI, Braggie, repentance is not doing the same thing over and over and claiming "but Jesus loves me anyway so it's all good, yo!"  Metanoia means CHANGE.  It means turn around and go the other way.  Considering the fact that we see her talk about how her children's normal antics make her "A-N-G-R-Y" and "bring her to tears" month after month, I don't see much change going on.  She's been doing this for 13 years now.  If toddler messes still make you that angry after that amount of time, STOP HAVING TODDLERS.  

[danvillebelle]

And BTW, did anyone see the comment in question (that she claims was on IG)?  Because if not, I don't believe there was one - I think she made it up and is talking about FJ.

ETA:  thanks SassyPants - mea culpa.

 

Edited August 23, 2019 by danvillebelle

[SassyPants]

47 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

And BTW, did anyone see the comment in question (that she claims was on IG)?  Because if not, I don't believe there was one - I think she made it up and is talking about FJ.

@Sairrr posted the following up thread:

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Posted 19 hours ago

I saw the comment she’s talking about before she deleted it and she is paraphrasing it very poorly (not surprised). Interestingly, it didn’t say anything about her kids not having normal childhoods but rather something along the lines of feeling bad for the children that they can’t be kids without enraging her. 

I can’t understand how she can be such an awful person to everyone around her (which is primarily the kids) but it’s totally okay because Jesus. Your kids are internalizing every horrible thing you say/do to them because Jesus doesn’t erase their memories even if you believe he erases your “sin”.

 

And today’s IG post, after a kid free (minus the baby), date night and a cheat meal is perfectly happy. Why can’t she connect the dots?

Edited August 23, 2019 by SassyPants

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

@Sairrr posted the following up thread:

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Posted 19 hours ago

I saw the comment she’s talking about before she deleted it and she is paraphrasing it very poorly (not surprised). Interestingly, it didn’t say anything about her kids not having normal childhoods but rather something along the lines of feeling bad for the children that they can’t be kids without enraging her. 

I can’t understand how she can be such an awful person to everyone around her (which is primarily the kids) but it’s totally okay because Jesus. Your kids are internalizing every horrible thing you say/do to them because Jesus doesn’t erase their memories even if you believe he erases your “sin”.

 

And today’s IG post, after a kid free (minus the baby), date night and a cheat meal is perfectly happy. Why can’t she connect the dots?

She can’t connect the dots because her religious teachings she’s espoused for so many years won’t let her. And of course her pride for admitting she’s been wrong about god all these years.

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

She is a perfect example of one of the many reasons I am done with Christianity (or I suppose to be more exact, done with Christians) - Jesus as get out of jail free card.  FYI, Braggie, repentance is not doing the same thing over and over and claiming "but Jesus loves me anyway so it's all good, yo!"  Metanoia means CHANGE.  It means turn around and go the other way.  Considering the fact that we see her talk about how her children's normal antics make her "A-N-G-R-Y" and "bring her to tears" month after month, I don't see much change going on.  She's been doing this for 13 years now.  If toddler messes still make you that angry after that amount of time, STOP HAVING TODDLERS.  

I know she’s not Catholic, and maybe her brand of Christianity is different, but if you keep committing the same offenses over and over and then attempt to use your Jesus Hall Pass, each and every time to excuse those transgressions, you’re missing the big picture!

[danvillebelle]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Jesus Hall Pass,

There's a t-shirt idea in there.  "Jesus is my hall pass" 

[SuperNova]

21 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I love my children’s creativity. I probably praise them too much for it. Anytime my children create something, I want them to tell me all about it. I imagine so much creativity is squashed in fundieland because it doesn’t adhere to one of their many narrow views.

Baby Nova once brought me three leaves with holes poked for eyes and mouths and told me it was a family portrait. You better believe I mounted and framed it. It hung in the hallway for more than a decade until the leaves finally disintegrated.

Acknowledgment of our children's efforts is critical to their emotional growth and well being. It seems so small to us but criticism for a "junk sculpture" can be crushing to a little person. Children are not inconveniences to work around and squeeze into the corners of our lives. They aren't meant to be dressed up and trotted out once a week for an Insta pic. Most importantly, kids should never be a prop for fragile eggshell personalities who lack internal strength. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Baby Nova once brought me three leaves with holes poked for eyes and mouths and told me it was a family portrait. You better believe I mounted and framed it. It hung in the hallway for more than a decade until the leaves finally disintegrated.

Acknowledgment of our children's efforts is critical to their emotional growth and well being. It seems so small to us but criticism for a "junk sculpture" can be crushing to a little person. Children are not inconveniences to work around and squeeze into the corners of our lives. They aren't meant to be dressed up and trotted out once a week for an Insta pic. Most importantly, kids should never be a prop for fragile eggshell personalities who lack internal strength. 

What makes it even worse is that Braggie seems to enjoy her own creative outlets (home decorating) yet she squashes and belittles little Theo’s. 

[anachronistic]

When I was a kid my sister, brother and I had various dollhouses in the dining room. A frequent game was to pack up the toy trucks with the contents and ‘move’ the dolls through the kitchen, down the hall and into the living room, where they would move into homemade doll houses we made out of blocks. We got endless enjoyment out of this but the mess that the dollhouses and all those tiny bits of furniture and the trucks and the tiny round fisher price people - the ones like the size of an adults thumb? - that we named and gave whole personalities and histories to - that mess must have driven my mother nuts.

Now that we are all adults she keeps her house neater than anyone I know and so clean you could eat off any surface. It is highly unlikely that in 25 years she has become a clean person - she was a clean person all along, she just gave it up for a few years while her children were young because imagination is more important than how your house looks. Kids play. Kids play hard. Everything worth playing makes a mess when you’re a kid, and they should have the right to play how they want (so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone of course.)  I bet that kid made that sculpture and thought it was beautiful. I bet that in a few years he stops making anything that he thinks is beautiful and only makes things that his mother thinks are beautiful, because those kids aren’t even allowed to decorate their own rooms, how dare he make art that isn’t Braggy-approved.

Your house is glass, Abby. If Jesus were real he’d say hey, stop throwing all those stones because your kids keep getting cut on the glass shards.

[SassyPants]

Also, if she was such a hardcore, solid Christian, the kind that lives, The tenets of JC vs talking about JC, she never would have called out the anonymous commenter , or reference JC in an effort to validate her actions. Whatever brand of Christianity that AH espouses is totally foreign to me.

[Off the Rails]

Abbie,  I hope you read this with the love I'm saying it with: You're right, Jesus forgives. And I believe you when you say you repent. But why wouldn't you also tell us about the restoration that you need to do, asking your kids for forgiveness? Why do you get so rage filled and take it as a personal offense that your son spent time building something in his room, out of your way? You keep getting angry over the same offenses of your children (that you've seemed to admit aren't actual offenses). 

I know we are joking on here that Jesus isn't a hall pass, but it's true. You need to find an older woman who can be the Titus 2 role model and support for you to move past the frequent anger and frustration at your kids. At the very least, don't minimize your anger and perfection as something you have to keep repenting for. Do something to change it. God doesn't give us grace so we can keep repeating the same sins and then pull our Jesus get out of jail free card. 

 

Sincerely, 

 

Another homeschool fundie mom of 8

[Hane]

@anachronistic, except for the moving part, that sounds like the way my middle sister and I used to play Barbies, making them a gorgeous apartment out of my kiddie table and chairs, the Barbie wardrobe cases, and various pieces of real and improvised doll furniture.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

@anachronistic, except for the moving part, that sounds like the way my middle sister and I used to play Barbies, making them a gorgeous apartment out of my kiddie table and chairs, the Barbie wardrobe cases, and various pieces of real and improvised doll furniture.

I wasn’t a huge fan of barbies but I loved designing their homes. Sometimes I would even use leftover scraps of wallpaper on a shoe box to make a hot 1980s tiny home.

[SassyPants]

It’s Sunday. The obligatory family photo and happy gushing about the 8 souls she is loving raising to love Jesus.

Lather-Rinse-Repeat

We should take a pool on how soon she’ll post something about how ragey the kids make her.

Thank god for Jesus.

[feministxtian]

I'm a messy. A real, live, walking, talking disaster area. Worked well when my kids were little. Barbies, Ninja Turtles, matchbox cars, legos, pretty much everywhere. They knew I wanted a clear area to walk (lego + foot = inventive strings of profanity) and that was it. It was over far too soon. For the love of God Braggie, let those kids be kids. You'll have plenty of time for your "perfect" house later...

My house is not perfect now either...something about lack of domesticity and life being upside down. If you come to visit me to look at my house...get the hell out. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

45 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I'm a messy. A real, live, walking, talking disaster area. Worked well when my kids were little. Barbies, Ninja Turtles, matchbox cars, legos, pretty much everywhere. They knew I wanted a clear area to walk (lego + foot = inventive strings of profanity) and that was it. It was over far too soon. For the love of God Braggie, let those kids be kids. You'll have plenty of time for your "perfect" house later...

My house is not perfect now either...something about lack of domesticity and life being upside down. If you come to visit me to look at my house...get the hell out. 

I just stepped on a lego yesterday. 

Fucking hell they are torture devices! 

[smittykins]

I’m reminded of a piece by Erma Bombeck about a father always complaining about how the lawn was always being destroyed by the kids, their toys, the pool, etc.  The refrain was always “It’ll grow back.”  At the end, the lawn is beautiful and pristine and the kids have all grown and gone.

He says, “They’ll come back...right?”

ETA:  Mike and the grass

Edited August 26, 2019 by smittykins
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[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, smittykins said:

I’m reminded of a piece by Erma Bombeck about a father always complaining about how the lawn was always being destroyed by the kids, their toys, the pool, etc.  The refrain was always “It’ll grow back.”  At the end, the lawn is beautiful and pristine and the kids have all grown and gone.

He says, “They’ll come back...right?”

ETA:  Mike and the grass

I tell my husband and myself this all the time. Our grass is so bad. My kids dig and dig in the yard. One child digs for worms and the other digs because he says it’s his construction site. I admit I’m embarrassed. I often imagine the neighbors don’t like our dirt pit of a yard. But eventually they will be tweens and inside on their iPads or phones all day long. Never wanting to set foot in the yard. So I can deal with it for right now.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Ok I sent that “Mike and the Grass” link to my husband and he’s got all the feels. He said he refuses to think about when the kids go off to college. 

[catlady]

re:  Mike and the Grass--the part about the swingset immediately made me think of one of my neighbors.  they have three kids under 12, and a beautiful tree in their front yard that supports two swings.  they frequently host kids from 2 other families, and most days, there is a small crowd of kids playing on those swings and in the adjacent kiddie pool while Mom oversees the group.  under each swing, the dirt is completely devoid of grass; the parents don't care.

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, catlady said:

re:  Mike and the Grass--the part about the swingset immediately made me think of one of my neighbors.  they have three kids under 12, and a beautiful tree in their front yard that supports two swings.  they frequently host kids from 2 other families, and most days, there is a small crowd of kids playing on those swings and in the adjacent kiddie pool while Mom oversees the group.  under each swing, the dirt is completely devoid of grass; the parents don't care.

We have a tree swing in our back yard that is quite popular with the neighborhood kids. There is not a bit of grass under that swing. The dirt patch is about 5 feet wide!

[SuperNova]

Abbie gives me a headache and yet I can't look away. She talked to another home school mom in the co-op bathroom. How can she be such a bitch over a casual exchange? If I was a fellow co-op parent reading this, I would make it a point to avoid Abbie. You never know when a short convo will become a judgy, condescending Insta post.

"Me - "One more class, right?"
Friend - "Actually, I'm done. We stayed til 3 last year, and it was my hardest year yet. I dreaded it."
Me - "Yeah. I totally get that." Notice I did not say: "Maybe you should stay bc hard is not the same thing as bad, you know." Bc, while I truly believe that the hard things shape us like no other, that does not necessarily mean that all hard things = good." 

[JermajestyDuggar]

She makes this long post but she rarely takes her own advice on this subject. She teaches her daughter’s piano even though she absolutely hates it. Why?! She freaks out over a mix of toys on a dresser because the big guy might see it. Why?! She obsesses over wallpaper, furniture, and clothing. Why?! She keeps having children although she doesn’t enjoy much of anything about it. Why?!

Because she wants to play mommy martyr. That’s why she will keep doing needlessly difficult things she hates. And her kids suffer for it.