Opportunity for our European FJ Members!

[Palimpsest]

As there have been a few complaints in the past from our European members of the dearth of opportunities to Fundie spot Fundies wanting to convert you, I thought I'd alert you to the good news.  Evangelist Ted Alexander is planning to convert you all to true Christianity in the form of the pure Ancient Baptist Heritage (Trail of Blood) faith.  FYI, these are the only people who can trace a direct line to the earliest Christian Church, which was apparently KJV Only.  Please pay special attention to the fact that these followers of Ancient Historic Baptist Faith have been persecuted muchly and tremendously over the centuries.  Especially by other Protestants and by silly people presuming to call themselves Baptists when they are not Heritage and Historic enough.

A bit of background: Per his testimony, Evangelist Ted was a Deadhead and drug dealer until he found God and true Heritage Baptist religion, which is practiced by Local Churches.  http://evangelisttedalexander.com/about/testimony/

Ted came to our attention through John Shrader.  Bro Ted and John are "on safari" in Zambia at the moment taking a break after an exhausting Men's Conference in Kafue.  It looks like about 25 of the faithful were preached at there, and Ted was forced by Shrader to eat a caterpillar for God.  He thinks John Shrader is a good missionary and "fiery," bless his innocent trusting little heart.  

Ted will be visiting Lossiemouth, Scotland and Carlisle, England to preach soon.  At least he knows Carlisle is in England.  He will certainly meet up with Jody Hodnett, our favorite missionary to Scotland, there.  The IFB missionary world is pretty small, and the Lighthouse church in Carlisle is the one the Hodster frequents more often than his own church plant.

After visiting various Historic Baptist sites in England, and four days in London, Ted will delight other European countries with his presence.  Paris, France, and various places in Germany and Italy are bracing for his arrival. 

Please note: This is NOT a vacation.  It is research.  Evangelist Ted is preparing for a future tour of Europe to convert you all to True Christianity.

Full itinerary, video of caterpillar consumption, and other dainty morsels are on his public Facebook. 

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

11 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

...and Ted was forced by Shrader to eat a caterpillar for God.

Oh, I want to watch that video, but I can't until tomorrow. This is gold!

Where can I grift a plane ticket to Scotland to go see this fella?

[laPapessaGiovanna]

Do you have a direct link to the caterpillar video @Palimpsest? Cos I don't have FB and it doesn't let me search for it.

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

Do you have a direct link to the caterpillar video @Palimpsest? Cos I don't have FB and it doesn't let me search for it.

This should work:

His daughter Joelle has more fortitude than he does.  She's along for the ride as her "graduation trip."  

53 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Where can I grift a plane ticket to Scotland to go see this fella?

No need to go to Scotland.  He's out of Ohio and has a big conference coming up in Chicago, IL soon.  He's a busy little evangelist bee.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

6 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

No need to go to Scotland.  He's out of Ohio and has a big conference coming up in Chicago, IL soon.

I still would rather go to a more exciting location feel called to fly to Scotland.

[Lurky]

I always love a missionary to Scotland! 

Has anyone got a Hodnett update?  I wonder if their paths will cross - Carlisle is a small town, so I can't imagine there are many US-Fundy-friendly churches there!

[Gobsmacked]

I feel a trip to Carlisle may be necessary soon. Hmmm

[Palimpsest]

4 hours ago, Lurky said:

Has anyone got a Hodnett update?  I wonder if their paths will cross - Carlisle is a small town, so I can't imagine there are many US-Fundy-friendly churches there!

I just checked.  Jody may not be at the Ted function in Carlisle (even though he is hand in glove with the Lighthouse church where Ted is preaching.)  I sort of assumed he would be there with bells on.

HOWEVER, apparently not.  In Feb 2019 Jody was in dire need of respite care back in the US.  He's got his own fare covered but was grifting for the the rest of the family too.

He may have succeeded.

Quote

Jody Hodnett Sr.

February 15 · 

I am booking my flight back to the States for a very short visit in May and June of this year. I have just been asked by a supporting Pastor to make a post asking for sponsors to make it possible for my whole family to come with me. There are 5 of us and I can currently buy tickets for $307.00 per person round trip. I need to buy these tickets tonight in order to get this price. If you want to help, please let me know through private message or by commenting below. Thank you for praying for our family!

UPDATE:
We have commitments for all 4 tickets! PRAISE THE LORD for touching hearts to help with this. We are grateful for each penny given to assist with this.

 Being a Missionary in Dumfries and trying to convert Scotland is SOOOO HARD!

But holy shit.

Our previously hugely hefty (read very unhealthily obese and obsessed with fish 'n chips) chow hound Jody has dropped so many pounds in such a short time that I'm quite worried about him.  Yes, he does look so much better.  But, wow.  That seems like massive weight loss in a very short period of time.  

I hope it was intentional, or gastric bypass, and that something else isn't going on.

Edited May 10, 2019 by Palimpsest

[Gobsmacked]

Jody has been walking instead of sitting in his car all the time is my guess. He would have no need to drive everywhere in Dumfries. Possibly Ginger has to carefully budget the household finances meaning no more massive fish suppers unless they are donated? The grifting talent may not be as strong in the Hodnett  household as it is with some  folk we 'know' (RodPod)!!!!!!!!!!!

[Palimpsest]

6 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

 The grifting talent may not be as strong in the Hodnett  household as it is with some  folk we 'know' (RodPod)!!!!!!!!!!!

I have always had a soft spot for Jody.  It is partly because he is really not very good at grifting and only asks for quite reasonable things, unlike Shrader and JRod.  But it is mostly because he is comparatively honest about his failures and bad planning.  He also had a real sense of humor when he discovered his thread here.  Remember, he was "GOBSMACKED!" that we were talking about him.

[bal maiden]

Oh, I am so sad that Evangelist Ted Alexander is not coming to my corner of the UK. 

[Palimpsest]

19 hours ago, bal maiden said:

Oh, I am so sad that Evangelist Ted Alexander is not coming to my corner of the UK. 

Sorry about that.  I actually have no idea where he is going in England. I confess to utter ignorance about the exact geographic locations of the "numerous Baptist heritage sites" associated with "Carey, Clarke, Whightman, Smythe, Hellwys, Spurgeon, Wycliffe, etc. etc."   Although I think Wycliffe was born in Yorkshire and Spurgeon was originally from Essex.

Mind you, as with many of these travelling evangelists, the mere chance of a free meal, a tent revival, and a love offering would probably have Bro. Ted changing his travel plans and knocking at your door in no time.  A juicy hamburger or a plate of weens in pink gray would probably work better than a caterpillar as a lure.

Note for the literalists amongst us:  That was a joke.  I really do not recommend this approach.  Not only is it touching the Fundie poop, almost always a bad idea,  but Ted might do a Bro. Gary and never leave!

[Petronella]

23 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I have always had a soft spot for Jody.  It is partly because he is really not very good at grifting and only asks for quite reasonable things, unlike Shrader and JRod.  But it is mostly because he is comparatively honest about his failures and bad planning.  He also had a real sense of humor when he discovered his thread here.  Remember, he was "GOBSMACKED!" that we were talking about him.

Wait, really??? I was disappointed when I discovered that the reason I’d stopped seeing an active Jody thread wasn’t because nothing was happening, but because his threads had been hidden in a subcategory (missionaries, I think?). By then I had no idea where I’d left off.

Do you know around when he visited the thread, and where his threads are kept?

[Palimpsest]

22 minutes ago, Petronella said:

Do you know around when he visited the thread, and where his threads are kept?

He never visited us here.  He just sent @Gobsmacked a clear message on his Facebook page.  We gave her a medal for it, IIRC.  He also posted a good humored video obviously aimed at FJ criticism admitting his poor planning, and rapid switches among Glasgow, Dundee, Lockerbie, Dumfries ... 

He also pretty much admitted that he was hanging out in Carlisle with other IFB missionaries because he hadn't a clue what he was doing at the beginning.  Not sure he does know what he's doing even now but he claims to have converted a few people.  I can't believe he's been there for over 2 years.

His beliefs are still vile but I always value self examination in people.  Especially in Fundies. 

I think his threads went dormant because he sensibly went private about a lot of things.  He became rather boring.  They are archived under Missionaries.  This is the first thread, and it should link to the second thread at the end:  

 

 

Edited May 11, 2019 by Palimpsest

[Sops2]

Being a geographer I am so impressed by Ted as he knows where he is going ( eg Scotland v England), and the direction he is travelling in order to get there. To be able to know which way is north and which way is south is a skill not yet acquired by quite a few fundies ( in particular Alyssa Bates in one program I remember.)

[Petronella]

20 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

He never visited us here.  He just sent @Gobsmacked a clear message on his Facebook page.  We gave her a medal for it, IIRC.  He also posted a good humored video obviously aimed at FJ criticism admitting his poor planning, and rapid switches among Glasgow, Dundee, Lockerbie, Dumfries ... 

He also pretty much admitted that he was hanging out in Carlisle with other IFB missionaries because he hadn't a clue what he was doing at the beginning.  Not sure he does know what he's doing even now but he claims to have converted a few people.  I can't believe he's been there for over 2 years.

His beliefs are still vile but I always value self examination in people.  Especially in Fundies. 

I think his threads went dormant because he sensibly went private about a lot of things.  He became rather boring.  They are archived under Missionaries.  This is the first thread, and it should link to the second thread at the end:  

 

 

Thank you!

[subsaharanafrica]

22 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Sorry about that.  I actually have no idea where he is going in England. I confess to utter ignorance about the exact geographic locations of the "numerous Baptist heritage sites" associated with "Carey, Clarke, Whightman, Smythe, Hellwys, Spurgeon, Wycliffe, etc. etc."   Although I think Wycliffe was born in Yorkshire and Spurgeon was originally from Essex.

IIRC from my early Protestant history of the martyrs Sunday School classes when my parents were of that persuasion Wycliffe was killed somewhere near Leicester. Although as his remains were thrown in a river I don’t think there is really anywhere there to visit?

I think Whightman was from Leicestershire as well. 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, subsaharanafrica said:

IIRC from my early Protestant history of the martyrs Sunday School classes when my parents were of that persuasion Wycliffe was killed somewhere near Leicester. Although as his remains were thrown in a river I don’t think there is really anywhere there to visit?

I think Whightman was from Leicestershire as well. 

Now you have made me start googling.

According to Wikipedia:

Whightman was indeed born in Hinckley, Leicestershire.  He died in Lichfield, Staffordshire.  He was burned at the stake, poor man, while trying to recant for a second time.  He had been "well scorched" at previous attempted execution. 

Helwys and Smythe hung out mainly in Gainsborough, fled to the Netherlands for a bit, then came back to start a church in Spitalfields.  Tower Hamlets is now a Baptist tourist Mecca, who knew.  But why is Smythe included in this list when Helwys excommunicated him because he became a Mennonite? 

Carey, I know this one.  He was a missionary in India and founder of the BMS.   Born Moulton, Northhants.

Clarke:  I've never heard of him before, but he was from Suffolk and spent most of his adult life in the US. 

However, Wycliffe suffered a stroke while saying Mass (seems a bit harsh of God to strike him down at the altar) and died 28 December 1384 in Lutterworth, Leicestershire aged 64.

But you have jogged my memory.  I think you are quite correct.  One of those Baptist martyrs did indeed come to a soggy and premature end in a river somewhere.  Perhaps he was one of the ones who died in prison and just his body was thrown into the river.

But who was it?

::keeps on googling::

Edited May 12, 2019 by Palimpsest

[llucie]

Luckily it looks like he is not coming anywhere near my country. Still, that there are not fundies here doesnt mean that we dont have opportunities to listen to crazy religious people telling us how we are going to burn in hell. The other day i had to listen for 10 minutes straight to a dude rambling about the end of times while i was stuck on the metro. I wonder what kind of religion he belonged too, he also keep talking about how god wanted us all to be vegans and that church should be on saturdays instead of sundays because sunday is the day of the pagan sun god. Such eclectic beliefs.

Edited May 12, 2019 by llucie
.

[Glasgowghirl]

I'm gutted I didn't even get to see the Hodnett's in Glasgow or anywhere in South Lanarkshire. Scotland was always going to be hard place to go to. My home town has a population of around 20,000 and they have Church of Scotland Churches, Catholic Churches, A Baptist church, a congregational church. Neighbouring town's have ones with different denominations to my town. Even with people not being as religious as previous generations, the Catholic church and Church of Scotland still have a strong following and Jody had no chance of even denting that.

Jody also has no grasp of the problem that sectarianism has caused in parts of Scotland. It's not just simple Celtic Vs Rangers, Catholic Vs Protestant. One town not far away from me that has a reputation for being protestant only has a subway with a black sign instead of green because Green is the colour of Celtic and Hibernian football clubs and the owners were scared the sign would be vandalised. Green traffic lights were often targeted and needed bars on them to protect the glass. This is deep-rooted in some communities and with some some families and Jody if he said stuff to the wrong person would find himself in trouble.

Europe as a whole is mostly Christian as well so fundie missionary's to Europe is just bad idea.

[subsaharanafrica]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

However, Wycliffe suffered a stroke while saying Mass (seems a bit harsh of God to strike him down at the altar) and died 28 December 1384 in Lutterworth, Leicestershire aged 64.

But you have jogged my memory.  I think you are quite correct.  One of those Baptist martyrs did indeed come to a soggy and premature end in a river somewhere.  Perhaps he was one of the ones who died in prison and just his body was thrown into the river.

But who was it?

Lol. They glossed over the stroke bit. It was Wycliffe who was thrown in the river. On that they were adamant. It was decades after he died though. They dug him up, burnt what was left, and threw the ashes in the river. The story went that it was to keep his grace from becoming a fanatical pilgrimage site.  

 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, subsaharanafrica said:

Lol. They glossed over the stroke bit. It was Wycliffe who was thrown in the river. On that they were adamant. It was decades after he died though. They dug him up, burnt what was left, and threw the ashes in the river. The story went that it was to keep his grace from becoming a fanatical pilgrimage site.  

Well now, that was just plain nasty of them.  And you are right again.  This is a better source than Wikipedia.  https://www.lutterworthmuseum.org/john-wycliffe#!

Quote

[Wycliffe] suffered a stroke when listening to a communion service on 27th December 1384 and was carried through what is now called Wycliffe’s Door. He died on New Years Eve 1384. Following his death, Wycliffe was denounced as a heretic by the Council of Constance.

In 1428, his bones were exhumed by order of the Pope Martin V burned, and threw the ashes into the River Swift near the Fox Inn Lutterworth. Still, they couldn't get rid of him.  <snip>

The John Wycliffe Memorial is situated in Coventry Road Lutterworth.  It takes the form of an obelisk, and stands in front of the town's Methodist Church.

I expect Ted will make a visit to the Parish Church (unless he thinks a CoE church will give him cooties), have a vigil next to the River Swift (avoiding the Fox Inn because demon alcohol), and then visit the obelisk Memorial (unless he thinks its proximity to the Methodist Church will give him cooties.)

[Palimpsest]

Just a quick update on Bro. Ted's Mission to Africa and Europe. 

He went to Victoria Falls and on safari with Shrader and Alatheia.  It must have been nice for Alatheia to meet Joelle, an American girl of her around her age.  Lots of photos of animals in the wild, including a mugging Shrader.

Then off to London, where Ted diligently visited and photographed the following Ancient Baptist Heritage places:

• The London Eye (loads of photos from there)
• Buckingham Palace
• Windsor Castle
• Westminster Abbey (but it doesn't look as though they went inside)

And

• A fish 'n chip shop.  Of course.

His mission to Lossiemouth started yesterday, and he arrived there safely, but no news on that yet from Ted.

Bro. Jody Hodnett has sent his regrets to the conference as he is in the USA at the moment.  So did another missionary to Scotland who is in South America.

The Moray Coast church has been advertising the conference though.  It posted a video of Ted performing.  He was born into a heathen catholic family, and his father was a drunken abuser.  The parish priest was also a drunk and of no help.  His brother was his role model.  Then he started on his military career and conversion story and I faded out. 

He talked for an hour and ten minutes. 

 

[Palimpsest]

Oh, joy, oh rapture!  Bro. Ted has updated.  I was afraid he discovered us and was going to make his FB posts private.  But no.  He just posted up a storm.

Bro. Ted took the easy way out for his Baptist Heritage Mission Tour of the UK.  He has left Scotland, and sadly left us only one really boring video of Carlisle.

He signed up with Pilgrims & Prophets Christian Heritage Tours for his English pilgrimage.  https://www.facebook.com/PilgrimsAndProphets/

Let's see.  He went to Bedford.  

Quote

John Bunyan / Baptist / Imprisoned for 12 years for conscience sake / Author-The Pilgrim’s Progress / Bedford, England

He went to the memorial church.  Bunyan isn't buried there, but never mind.  He poses.  And he videos.  Bunyan was persecuted at the gaol down the road.  To my delight, Bro. Ted pronounces gaol as "goal" no fewer than 6 times in two videos.  So much for the Pilgrims and Prophets tour guides.

And he went to Kettering.  

Quote

Andrew Fuller / Kettering, England / William Carey / Genesis of Modern Missions

Fuller gets top billing.  Fuller stayed at home and fundraised while Carey went to India.  The Baptist Missionary Society they founded would find you laughable, Bro. Ted.  My parents were originally missionaries with the BMS.  Fully trained medical missionaries who put healing and teaching first and evangelising a very distant last.

Fuller is way more interesting than Carey to Teddy boy.  

Quote

Andrew Fuller / Fuller Church / Kettering, England

He yaps about it a lot.  And he went inside, unlike with Westminster Abbey.  Westminster Abbey would have given Ted CoE cooties.  Many photos.

Back to Bedford for another video.  The site of the gaol.  Or rather the goal.

Quote

Old Bedford Prison Site / England

Sort of anticlimactic.  It was demolished but Ted finds a marker.

And on to Moulton.

Quote

How William Carey may have viewed the World / India / Burden / Moulton, England @ Moulton, Northamptonshire

Piccies.  And a timeline.  And back to Kettering.  I'm discombobulated.  Perhaps he uploaded the videos and piccies in the wrong order.  

Quote

 

Andrew Fuller Grave @ Kettering, Northamptonshire, United Kingdom

 

A Pilgrimage indeed.

A humper speaks up.

Quote

JesseandJulie Bullock Ted Alexander feel free to pick me up a handful of spurgeon books while over there brother. ?

Teddy doesn't bite.  He wants to pack his bags with his own souvenirs.  

Quote

Come on the July tour of Missouri & see his entire personal collection in Kansas City. ?

Or shoot,  Abebooks or Amazon might have a few books by Spurgeon.  In fact some of them are even free on Kindle.

[Ozlsn]

On 5/21/2019 at 12:48 AM, Palimpsest said:

Westminster Abbey (but it doesn't look as though they went inside)

Well that was kind of pointless of him. What a waste of a trip. 

On 6/2/2019 at 7:45 AM, Palimpsest said:

To my delight, Bro. Ted pronounces gaol as "goal" no fewer than 6 times in two videos.  

Hee. Guessing his brain either didn't make the connection between 'jail' and 'gaol' or he has that same dyslexia-like thing I do where your brain fills in the word wrongly. I wonder if he tries to serve two hamsters or if that's just my brain.