Safe at Home 5: Something Happened in Arndtland and It's Finger Lickin' Good!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

5 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

I bet they still have penguin sheets in the new house. 

I own 6 pairs of penguin socks, only one Christmas themed.  

I would totally sleep on penguin sheets!

[nokidsmom]

6 minutes ago, Howl said:

I'm more interested than I should be in knowing if they all sleep in bunk beds in one bedroom or if they have separate bedrooms.  And if they each have their own room, do they have single beds, full beds, queen beds? 

Ok so I am not the only one wondering the same thing.  

[Four is Enough]

If I am looking at photos correctly, the Arndt boys are tall, I fervently hope they're in something longer than a bunk twin bed.

 

[OyToTheVey]

Gd forbid but the Arndt boys are the perfect example of "children" that snap. I really hope nothing bad or crazy happens. Isn't one of them almost 40 by now? 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

22 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Camp Arndt is a veritable quiver full of Red Flags.

 

Other than Cathy's admirably consistent home frosting tip kit hair job, there's nothing the Arndts do that doesn't seem uncomfortable, unnerving, or outright disturbing on some level.

 

Except for surprisingly successful careers in fairly worldly fields.

[Katzchen24]

So I'm going full Alex Jones conspiracy nut job for a moment. Maybe the Arndt kidults are actually all married anthropologists with multiples of children and completely independent lives, but they deliberately show themselves as weirdly single men living with their parents to study how the world reacts to them. In fact, maybe Cathy is actually their professor/thesis supervisor, hence the bizarre control she appears to have over them all. 

Perhaps the penguin fetish is a construct to research some obscure anthropological outcome....... ?

But I doubt it.

[AmazonGrace]

They might be Sims.

[Howl]

On 2/25/2020 at 7:18 PM, OyToTheVey said:

Gd forbid but the Arndt boys are the perfect example of "children" that snap. I really hope nothing bad or crazy happens. Isn't one of them almost 40 by now? 

Dang, That's a rather chilling thought.  There has to be extreme repression of physical repressions; who the heck knows what's going on emotionally. 

I desperately hope one of the mankins writes a tell all at some point, but there's a high likelihood that it would be profoundly boring.  

The most insightful thing for me was watching a video that was filmed when several of the manboys returned home from a trip with a stuffed penguin and they drone flighted it from the car to the other family members standing on a porch.  There was quite a bit of anxiety that the drone might hit the house, manifested by numerous of the man boys offering piloting tips to the brother at the controls. 

The second most insightful thing is that the few photos I've seen of the interior of the house (partying down in the parent's room for birthdays!) show zero clutter -- positively Quaker-ish. 

How old is the only sister that is a mom clone? 

 

Edited February 27, 2020 by Howl

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, Howl said:

Dang, That's a rather chilling thought.  There has to be extreme repression of physical repressions; who the heck knows what's going on emotionally. 

I desperately hope one of the mankins writes a tell all at some point, but there's a high likelihood that it would be profoundly boring.  

The most insightful thing for me was watching a video that was filmed when several of the manboys returned home from a trip with a stuffed penguin and they drone flighted it from the car to the other family members standing on a porch.  There was quite a bit of anxiety that the drone might hit the house, manifested by numerous of the man boys offering piloting tips to the brother at the controls. 

The second most insightful thing is that the few photos I've seen of the interior of the house (partying down in the parent's room for birthdays!) show zero clutter -- positively Quaker-ish. 

How old is the only sister that is a mom clone? 

 

23.

The oldest Arndt is 39 and the youngest is 17.

[Howl]

28 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

23.

The oldest Arndt is 39 and the youngest is 17.

Gah.  

At this moment, I desperately wish someone who knows them through baseball or the court system or who used them to photograph their wedding would set up an AMA here. 

Then I thought "Reddit!" So I checked in over there and found this from 7 months ago. Priceless.

Spoiler

Poster 1: This family is the most fascinating to me but also the most boring and stagnant. Such weirdness. I can't wait for Vine Valley

Poster 2: I feel like they're the most fascinating because they're boring and stagnant. I watched their show a lot before I knew what fundies were and was like, "They're cute, hardworking, good family men; why the hell are they single?!?!"

The Reddit comments pretty much track fj comments, which I could sum up as, "WTAF is up with that family?"

Edited February 27, 2020 by Howl

[nausicaa]

On 2/25/2020 at 10:49 PM, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Except for surprisingly successful careers in fairly worldly fields.

This has always thrown me for the biggest loop. (Okay, other than that fact that not a single one of these adult men has any type of discernible sex drive.)

All of the other completely segregated Fundie kids with whackadoo parents (Maxwells, Rods) are predictably mediocre (at best) at their professional and artistic pursuits. 

To get as good at photography as the Arndt sons have gotten requires self-awareness, worldliness, diligence, a certain type of humility, openness, and education. And all of those are the necessary traits for breaking away from your parents' self-imposed bubble and starting your own life independent of what was pushed on you as a kid. And yet...

[Giraffe]

The only thing I can ever decide on this family is that there’s something very, very wrong with Rick & Kathy and that’s how they’ve managed to keep their kids “safe at home.”

 

SPECULATION ? I’m convinced some of them have secret lives. One of the things about some “perfect” families is the kids can learn how to deceive so well they’re able to cover their tracks. Some of the kidults travel for work. They could figure out how to lead double lives fairly easily, even if multiple brothers travel together. 

[Howl]

23 hours ago, Giraffe said:

The only thing I can ever decide on this family is that there’s something very, very wrong with Rick & Kathy and that’s how they’ve managed to keep their kids “safe at home.”

SPECULATION ? I’m convinced some of them have secret lives. One of the things about some “perfect” families is the kids can learn how to deceive so well they’re able to cover their tracks. Some of the kidults travel for work. They could figure out how to lead double lives fairly easily, even if multiple brothers travel together. 

Yes, but...wouldn't ONE of them, at least, break free?  What's keeping them "Safe at Home?"  Has Rick threatened to be a family annihilator if even one of the chi-boys breaks free or shows a hint of independence? And is there a hint in any of Rick's drive-along sermons that seems crazy and out there rather than just boring?  

 

23 hours ago, nausicaa said:

This has always thrown me for the biggest loop. (Okay, other than that fact that not a single one of these adult men has any type of discernible sex drive.)

I try not to contemplate their sex drive or lack of it, but jeeze Louise, what the heck?  Under spoiler due to ick factor. 

Spoiler

How often do they have to wash those penguin sheets?

Does Mom put something in their food?  I JUST DON'T GET IT! 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

35 minutes ago, Howl said:

Yes, but...wouldn't ONE of them, at least, break free?  What's keeping them "Safe at Home?"  Has Rick threatened to be a family annihilator if even one of the chi-boys breaks free or shows a hint of independence? And is there a hint in any of Rick's drive-along sermons that seems crazy and out there rather than just boring?  

I am not comparing the specifics of the two, but the Heaven's Gate cult got 39 people to kill themselves and never once threatened violence to them or anyone else.  It was all brainwashing couched in free will.

And only 6 of the men got castrated, not all of them, because while it was encouraged to do so the choice to not do so was respected.

My point is some people can go along with insane life choices based on nothing but being brainwashed, and there is nothing to indicate Rick or anyone in that family has annihilator potential.

And yes, Rick is crazy in addition to boring, but that doesn't make him a physical threat.

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, Howl said:

Yes, but...wouldn't ONE of them, at least, break free?  What's keeping them "Safe at Home?"  Has Rick threatened to be a family annihilator if even one of the chi-boys breaks free or shows a hint of independence? And is there a hint in any of Rick's drive-along sermons that seems crazy and out there rather than just boring?  

That's just it....with 14 kids the odds of ALL of them staying "safe at home" just seems impossible, yet there they are.   It seems that, no matter what the family dynamic is, at the very least one would break out of there.   There isn't one of them who thinks that living this way into their 30s (or watching their older siblings live this way) is not want they want in life and if they expect to launch lives of their own that's it's up to them regardless of any ramifications?    

The only thing I can think of is that there's some very cult like family dynamics that has been drilled into them from day one and still has a strong hold on them.  The fact that it's the manboys' responsibility  to go out and earn income while their Dad early retired to navel gaze, has me wondering that there are some real issues with Rick and they feel responsible to keep Cathy and the rest of the family afloat, that leaving to live their own lives would be some sort of "abandonment".   

ETA: I personally don't see Rick as a family annihilator but IMHO he's crazy in a hapless, navel gazing way.  He's gone too far down his particular rabbit hole to the point he is no longer able to hold up his end of things (household, financial, etc) requiring everyone in the family to pitch in to make up for it.   

IMHO Rick is an example of the the phrase: "some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good".  He may not have started out that way, but it's where he is now.

Edited February 28, 2020 by nokidsmom

[HerNameIsBuffy]

39 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

The fact that it's the manboys' responsibility  to go out and earn income while their Dad early retired to navel gaze, has me wondering that there are some real issues with Rick and they feel responsible to keep Cathy and the rest of the family afloat, that leaving to live their own lives would be some sort of "abandonment".   

I agree with this and it makes me so angry.  Supporting their parents is one thing - which, if Rick has a debilitating mental illness rendering him unable to work, as I believe, would be understandable.  But that actually wouldn't be a big deal if their parents lived reasonably and all adults were working after college or training, whatever.  

It's that they are supporting their parents AND their parents insisting on all their siblings remaining home which increases the cost exponentially.  Also, the trips are unnecessary and if the boys are bankrolling those then it's unspeakably rude of R and C to keep taking them.

Now - if we're wrong and Cathy has enough family money to support everyone and the older boys are able to save for their futures then it's still weirdness, but not financial abuse.  

[quiversR4hunting]

2 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

"some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good"

I have never heard this before. I love the phrase. 

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Supporting their parents is one thing - which, if Rick has a debilitating mental illness rendering him unable to work, as I believe, would be understandable.  But that actually wouldn't be a big deal if their parents lived reasonably and all adults were working after college or training, whatever.  

Entirely possible that there's a lot more going on behind the scenes with Rick, it could be quite sad and the entire family pulls together to pitch in.  For all we know, the older ones supporting the family might be the current plan while there were still minor kids in the house.   Maybe there's some longer term plan in place, once all the kids are adults, such as Rick and Cathy moving out and giving the house to the adult kids, for example.  Who knows.

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Now - if we're wrong and Cathy has enough family money to support everyone and the older boys are able to save for their futures then it's still weirdness, but not financial abuse.  

This is possible as well.  That Cathy is the financial support via her family money and the older ones are building savings from their earnings.  While it makes sense to stay home in order to save for a few years, it's still odd that the older 30-somethings are still there.   But if they are keeping their earnings then no, it's not financial abuse.  It does raise the question of what the older ones are waiting for. 

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

It's that they are supporting their parents AND their parents insisting on all their siblings remaining home which increases the cost exponentially.  Also, the trips are unnecessary and if the boys are bankrolling those then it's unspeakably rude of R and C to keep taking them.

This appears to be what's going on, that parents insist on (or more likely have hopelessly brainwashed) their kids to remain at home and financially support a large household.   Perhaps that is not what's happening but when 14 able bodied, healthy adults (save one) make a big deal about "being safe at home", with one pushing 40,  let's just say that the optics are not real good here. 

If Rick is indeed too debilitated to work, that's a permanent situation.   Expecting your kids to remain home and provide support indefinitely is not a healthy, fair, or practical long term solution.   It also doesn't require Rick and Cathy to make the tough choices and frankly, it's up to them to make those hard choices, not carry on as usual casting the whole load on their kids.  In that case, it doesn't matter if the kids want to help or not, they should not give up their life hopes and goals just because Dad has problems and can't work.  Get the kids launched as they get old enough, downsize the house, forget the trips, do whatever to minimize the costs for the long haul.   Let your kids go and move into a condo or senior housing or something.   And maybe take the keys away from Rick before he hits another animal or worse, a person on one of his rambling drives. 

5 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I have never heard this before. I love the phrase. 

You can thank Mr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. for this one.  

So apropos in Rick's case.

 

 

 

Edited February 28, 2020 by nokidsmom

[AverageGiraffe]

Every year, my father, a life-long Browns fan, starts each season with such hope that his Brownies will finally make the superbowl. And every year, he ends each season with "maybe next year". His hope is unwavering, despite literally zero evidence to support the possibility that his dreams will come true. He continues to faithfully watch every football game every year and has done so every year for 40 years (with a small break when the Browns moved to Baltimore). 

I repeatedly open the Arndt thread thinking "this is the day something exciting happens to one of the kidults!" and close it again thinking "well, maybe next time". 

I am apparently turning into my father. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, AverageGiraffe said:

Every year, my father, a life-long Browns fan, starts each season with such hope that his Brownies will finally make the superbowl. And every year, he ends each season with "maybe next year". His hope is unwavering, despite literally zero evidence to support the possibility that his dreams will come true. He continues to faithfully watch every football game every year and has done so every year for 40 years (with a small break when the Browns moved to Baltimore). 

I repeatedly open the Arndt thread thinking "this is the day something exciting happens to one of the kidults!" and close it again thinking "well, maybe next time". 

I am apparently turning into my father. 

Awww.  At least you have company, since we're all your father!

[AverageGiraffe]

Just now, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Awww.  At least you have company, since we're all your father!

My father's optimism paid off with the Cavs, so perhaps we'll get lucky! 

I think a Browns superbowl appearance is more likely than an Arndt marriage/moving out solo/any sort of rebellion, and that's really saying something. I will continue to hope for both like the true masochistic Cleveland sports fan that I was raised to be.  

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 minutes ago, AverageGiraffe said:

My father's optimism paid off with the Cavs, so perhaps we'll get lucky! 

I think a Browns superbowl appearance is more likely than an Arndt marriage/moving out solo/any sort of rebellion, and that's really saying something. I will continue to hope for both like the true masochistic Cleveland sports fan that I was raised to be.  

So since they aren't giving us anything to talk about I have a question to throw out there:

Besides the whole moving out with or without getting married what kind of rebellion would be fun to see?

Getting a job on their own outside the collective?  Attending a different church?  Quitting the softball team?  Tattoos?

What would absolutely freak Rick and Cathy out?

[quiversR4hunting]

23 minutes ago, AverageGiraffe said:

My father's optimism paid off with the Cavs, so perhaps we'll get lucky! 

I think a Browns superbowl appearance is more likely than an Arndt marriage/moving out solo/any sort of rebellion, and that's really saying something. I will continue to hope for both like the true masochistic Cleveland sports fan that I was raised to be.  

I think there is a better chance of a Lions vs Browns in the Superbowl than a Arndt marriage, etc.  

5 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

So since they aren't giving us anything to talk about I have a question to throw out there:

Besides the whole moving out with or without getting married what kind of rebellion would be fun to see?

Getting a job on their own outside the collective?  Attending a different church?  Quitting the softball team?  Tattoos?

What would absolutely freak Rick and Cathy out?

Since Rick and Cathy are former Catholics, I would say any of them going to RCIA and becoming Catholic would absolutely freak them out. However, if one of the sons became a Catholic priest, that would drive Rick & Cathy right over the freak out cliff. 

[MamaJunebug]

On 2/28/2020 at 9:37 AM, Howl said:

Yes, but...wouldn't ONE of them, at least, break free?  What's keeping them "Safe at Home?"  Has Rick threatened to be a family annihilator if even one of the chi-boys breaks free or shows a hint of independence? And is there a hint in any of Rick's drive-along sermons that seems crazy and out there rather than just boring?  

 

I try not to contemplate their sex drive or lack of it, but jeeze Louise, what the heck?  Under spoiler due to ick factor. 

  Hide contents

How often do they have to wash those penguin sheets?

Does Mom put something in their food?  I JUST DON'T GET IT! 

I’ve *always* figured she does. 

[AmazonGrace]

I feel like we passed the stage of "why aren't any Arndts getting married, what the hell is wrong with them?" several kidults ago, and now if any of them got married it would be a case of "run girl, what the hell is wrong with you, can't you see you'd be stuck in a nightmare?" 

A polite and properly dressed nightmare but still, it's like some case in X Files when Mulder and Scully go into some village in the backwater and find dreadful family secrets hidden in artificial smiles.

 

They MIGHT be perfectly nice but after bazillion bachelor mama's boys hitting their thirties, are you sure you fancy your odds?