Safe at Home 5: Something Happened in Arndtland and It's Finger Lickin' Good!

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Whenever I read about the unmarried Arndt kidults, I always think of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's father who forbade his 11 living children to marry and disinherited the few who did. 

 All of the adult Barrett children lived at home until marriage.  I believe the ones who did eloped (like EBB). Literary historians attribute the father abhorrence of marriage to a puritanical disgust at "lusts of the flesh" -- i.e. physical intimacy.

I wonder if that is Rick's problem?  Dad Browning, like Rick, was perfectly OK with fathering 12 children, but Dad B was completely against letting any of his children do the same because .... oooooo ... yuck ... sex.

Maybe Rick can't bear the though of his "boys" and his "baby girl" doing the deed. Maybe he and Cathy brainwashed them that sex, even married sex, is nasty and sinful. There has to be a reason all those kidults are safe at home.

[Katzchen24]

On 1/23/2021 at 2:43 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

 All of the adult Barrett children lived at home until marriage.  I believe the ones who did eloped (like EBB). Literary historians attribute the father abhorrence of marriage to a puritanical disgust at "lusts of the flesh" -- i.e. physical intimacy.

I wonder if that is Rick's problem?  Dad Browning, like Rick, was perfectly OK with fathering 12 children, but Dad B was completely against letting any of his children do the same because .... oooooo ... yuck ... sex.

I agree with this, but not totally. There's no evidence that Rick and Cathy are uncomfortable with physical affection between themselves or with the kids (as evidenced by weird birthday photographs). I also know that procreation does not have to include affection or love and may be a result of doing one's duty  (which is a horrifying sentence to write). Who knows with these fundies.

I'm equally sure there's some kind of strange psycho-drama playing out in this family, and that it will almost certainly include aspects of parental repression like above.

[Black Aliss]

On 1/22/2021 at 8:13 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Whenever I read about the unmarried Arndt kidults, I always think of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's father who forbade his 11 living children to marry and disinherited the few who did. 

 All of the adult Barrett children lived at home until marriage.  I believe the ones who did eloped (like EBB). Literary historians attribute the father abhorrence of marriage to a puritanical disgust at "lusts of the flesh" -- i.e. physical intimacy.

Which is pretty effing weird when you consider that he and the missus had to have done the nasty themselves at least 11 times.

[Four is Enough]

On 1/24/2021 at 12:30 PM, Black Aliss said:

Which is pretty effing weird when you consider that he and the missus had to have done the nasty themselves at least 11 times.

Every time this comes up, I laugh my head off. since all my kids are adopted, they remain certain that Mr. Four and I have never done it... 

[usedbicycle]

On 1/23/2021 at 7:29 PM, Katzchen24 said:

I agree with this, but not totally. There's no evidence that Rick and Cathy are uncomfortable with physical affection between themselves or with the kids (as evidenced by weird birthday photographs). I also know that procreation does not have to include affection or love and may be a result of doing one's duty  (which is a horrifying sentence to write). Who knows with these fundies.

I'm equally sure there's some kind of strange psycho-drama playing out in this family, and that it will almost certainly include aspects of parental repression like above.

I'm not sure how this translates into 14 adults living in celibacy, but I'm quite sure the Arndt inner circle views Rick as some kind of prophet (including their internet fan base/discipleship).

There is definitely psycho-drama going on, and perhaps the family views their role as supporting Rick's "ministry" at the cost of having personal lives of their own. In the context of a cult, giving up your freedom in service to the leader is a privilege, not a sacrifice.  

It could also be that Rick is sharing doomsday "messages" with his family so they view their remaining time on Earth as very short (not worth getting hitched and starting a family if the rapture is coming!)

Out of the dozens of theories I have pondered, theses two have stuck with me the longest.

Edited January 28, 2021 by usedbicycle

[nokidsmom]

On 1/22/2021 at 10:13 AM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Maybe Rick can't bear the though of his "boys" and his "baby girl" doing the deed. Maybe he and Cathy brainwashed them that sex, even married sex, is nasty and sinful. There has to be a reason all those kidults are safe at home.

To be honest, I wonder if that is what is going on.   I grew up with parents who were positively freaked out at the prospect of their 3 little girls growing up and well, doing the deed with some guy even if that guy was their husband.

Case in point: a couple of days before I got married my mom decided to fill me in further on the "birds and the bees" conversation she had with me when I was 10.  Never mind that I already knew but didn't have the heart to tell her.   She was clearly uncomfortable that the prospect of her supposedly virginal daughter (I wasn't btw ?) doing the deed even though all my life she pushed the idea that sex was only appropriate within marriage.  And I was getting married.

Fast forward 14 years when my youngest sister got married.  Youngest sister was still living at home and (long story) got married legally before the church wedding.  My mother was telling my sister and her new husband not to get a friggin' hotel room that night because they got married only legally and not in the church (church wedding in 2 weeks).  Yep, she told a couple in their mid 30s, one of whom had already been married, NOT to have sex when they were legally married.

So yeah I can totally see Rick and Cathy being uncomfortable with their kids having sex, even married sex, in spite of the fact they have living proof that they, um, didn't abstain themselves.   I don't know why other than to think they still want to think of their kids as innocent beings  remaining innocent even into adulthood.

 

[Hane]

On 1/26/2021 at 11:15 AM, Four is Enough said:

Every time this comes up, I laugh my head off. since all my kids are adopted, they remain certain that Mr. Four and I have never done it... 

When I was discussing the concept of vasectomy with my middle-school-aged daughter, I told her that’s why her stepfather and I hadn’t had any kids together. She was taken aback, and said, “Oh—I thought it was because you didn’t ‘do it’...often...”

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, Hane said:

When I was discussing the concept of vasectomy with my middle-school-aged daughter, I told her that’s why her stepfather and I hadn’t had any kids together. She was taken aback, and said, “Oh—I thought it was because you didn’t ‘do it’...often...”

It’s funny because I knew what getting “fixed” meant from an early age because of our pets. We always had our animals fixed. All 3 of my parents had been permanently fixed when I was a kid so I remember comparing that to getting a cat fixed. My parents never wanted to talk about sex. But they were extremely open about getting their tubes tied for some reason. 

[indianabones]

I'm 30 and have never talked about sex with my parents, even though they're liberal-atheist-former hippies from San Francisco. I also never got sex ed at school... if I hadn't attended an all-girls boarding school I probably would have gotten pregnant as a teenager.

[Smee]

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s funny because I knew what getting “fixed” meant from an early age because of our pets. We always had our animals fixed. All 3 of my parents had been permanently fixed when I was a kid so I remember comparing that to getting a cat fixed. My parents never wanted to talk about sex. But they were extremely open about getting their tubes tied for some reason. 

Apparently when I was in grade 1 and it was my turn for show & tell (you might call it something different) I stood up and announced to the class that “my daddy got desexed!”

13 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

It could also be that Rick is sharing doomsday "messages" with his family so they view their remaining time on Earth as very short (not worth getting hitched and starting a family if the rapture is coming!)

Out of the dozens of theories I have pondered, theses two have stuck with me the longest.

That makes sense, especially in the context of 1 Cor 7.

 

[quiversR4hunting]

5 hours ago, indianabones said:

I'm 30 and have never talked about sex with my parents, even though they're liberal-atheist-former hippies from San Francisco. I also never got sex ed at school... if I hadn't attended an all-girls boarding school I probably would have gotten pregnant as a teenager.

I'm sorry you were never taught sex ed. Stories like this makes me more adamant that mandatory sex education needs to happen in all schools. I went to catholic school and we had better sex ed than the public school. We had it 2 years once in 4th and then in 5th grade. It revolved around puberty but we were also told how a baby is made and being Catholic of course it was to be saved for marriage but at least then we knew how babies were made! I was shocked when we went to middle school (the Catholic school was only 1st -6th grade) and found out the public school kids had little to no knowledge until we had health class (or friends or locker room, etc.). 

[JenniferJuniper]

17 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

There is definitely psycho-drama going on, and perhaps the family views their role as supporting Rick's "ministry" at the cost of having personal lives of their own. In the context of a cult, giving up your freedom in service to the leader is a privilege, not a sacrifice.  

It's a cult, I'm sure of it.  A family cult, but a cult nevertheless. I ran into one of those crappy Reelz types documentaries about Heaven's Gate a few weeks back and couldn't help but think of Mary and the Manboys. The people were pleasant, intelligent, happy folks, most of whom had had or were capable of having nice careers.  Many left childen and spouses behind because they were so convinced the aliens communicating with their leader and would lead them to a better world. 

I'm not suggsesting the Arndts are in a doomsday cult. The only reason we know about Heaven's Gate is because the followers happily committed suicide in order to board an alien spaceship which was flying behind a comet. Had this not happened, they'd probably still be out there somewhere, working on recruiting new members and waiting on the end times.

It's hard to understand how otherwise "normal" people can buy such a massive load of shit, but it's less difficult to understand the Arndts.  They've been in the cult all their lives.  I don't think Rick is adverse to adding new members to the cult, but he can't use the same techniques he used on his kids and this seems to be a stumbling block for him.  Should one of more of the "kids" ever get married, my guess is it will be to someone who is all in with Rick's craziness and therefore meets with his total approval.  The fact that this hasn't happened yet may be indicative of Rick's overall weakness as cult leader.  It's one thing to brainwash kids from birth, entirely another to convince Susie from St. Louis that he's some kind of guru. 

[Four is Enough]

@thoughtful, I'd love to see the Steve Martin clip for Scruggs. I often choke up watching Vince Gill singing "Go Rest High on That Mountain" at  George Jones' memorial at the Opry.

8 hours ago, indianabones said:

I'm 30 and have never talked about sex with my parents, 

My mother bought me an antique (1906) nursing book once. In the OB section, they talked about the "married woman" versus the "virgin".. apparently in those days, you were one or the other, and never the twain shall meet.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

My mother's entire sex talk with me happened when I was 16.  She said (and I quote) "Oh.... ummmm.... ummmm...., about ..... you know .... But I guess you know all about that." I did so I answered "yes"  End of sex talk. I have no idea what she said to my siblings

We didn't get sex ed in public school (southern small town), although we did see a 1950s era film in girls health class in 8th grade about getting your period.  The film completely managed to avoid any mention of why we were getting a period or anything about sex and was full of euphemistic phrases like "now that you're growing up...." 

Thank goodness I had friends with older sisters who filled us in at about 11.

[quiversR4hunting]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I often choke up watching Vince Gill singing "Go Rest High on That Mountain" at  George Jones' memorial at the Opry.

I get choked up whenever he sings that and the other one is "When I get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisely & DOlly Parton. 

 

[Katzchen24]

Apropos of nothing.....

6 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

 Mary and the Manboys.

Lamest rock band evah.

[JenniferJuniper]

30 minutes ago, Katzchen24 said:

 

Lamest rock band evah.

I actually like it better than the band's real name, Good Chicken.  But Mary and the Manboys doesn't work because Mary's not allowed in the band.  She's needed in the kitchen. 

[church_of_dog]

30 minutes ago, Katzchen24 said:

Apropos of nothing.....

Lamest rock band evah.

humming to myself...

 

Down on the corner,

Out on the street,

Mary and the manboys are praying,

Bring a bible, tap your feet...

 

[Hane]

20 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s funny because I knew what getting “fixed” meant from an early age because of our pets. We always had our animals fixed. All 3 of my parents had been permanently fixed when I was a kid so I remember comparing that to getting a cat fixed. My parents never wanted to talk about sex. But they were extremely open about getting their tubes tied for some reason. 

We never had pets (because of the ex’s claim of allergies*), so the topic never came up. My grandson, however, has always been a big fan of Animal Planet and NatGeo Wild. One day we were watching a Dr. Pol episode about spaying when he was 7 or so, and he said, “They probably don’t do that with people, though. I bet they go to a doctor and get a pill.” I told him that that was correct—people who don’t want to get pregnant can get a prescription for birth control pills. (I didn’t go into other forms of contraception—he was little and I don’t believe in loading kids down with more info than they ask for.)

*The ex claimed he had a debilitating cat allergy, but the truth was that he just didn’t like cats and was a prick about it. (He once mused about putting out dishes of antifreeze to get rid of any stray cats that might come by and we were horrified.)  We found out when he demonstrated how he could voluntarily make his face turn red—and it just *happened* to look the way it started to look the minute he realized a cat was around. After I filed for divorce, my daughter told me how she’d snuck her friend’s cat into the house and rubbed it on his pillow, and he’d suffered no ill effects. We laughed and laughed, because we’re awful.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

I actually like it better than the band's real name, Good Chicken.  But Mary and the Manboys doesn't work because Mary's not allowed in the band.  She's needed in the kitchen. 

I think they should call themselves:

”Arndt We Good?”

[Katzchen24]

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think they should call themselves:

”Arndt We Good?”

And sing....

And a good Arndt these days is hard to find

(after Fearghal Sharkey. Yes, I was a teen in the 80's)

[nokidsmom]

On 1/29/2021 at 8:11 AM, JenniferJuniper said:

I don't think Rick is adverse to adding new members to the cult, but he can't use the same techniques he used on his kids and this seems to be a stumbling block for him.  Should one of more of the "kids" ever get married, my guess is it will be to someone who is all in with Rick's craziness and therefore meets with his total approval.  The fact that this hasn't happened yet may be indicative of Rick's overall weakness as cult leader.  It's one thing to brainwash kids from birth, entirely another to convince Susie from St. Louis that he's some kind of guru. 

Brainwashing from birth is the easy way to get oneself a cult, at least that's how it's worked for Rick, but agree it's a much tougher sell to recruit folks from the outside.   Rick needs to up his game if he wants to grow his, um, "ministry" or whatever he calls it.  Or if he wants grandkids.

 

[JenniferJuniper]

So the Famteam all got Covid which is why Rick stopped his living room meetings a couple of weeks ago.  During his last Dad on Wheels session he mentioned Cathy had/was having a particularly hard time.  Guess you can't be truly safe at home if you invite outsiders in to listen to Dad's ramblings during the middle of a pandemic.  And I'm willing to bet none of them ever wore masks when they did go out. 

[quiversR4hunting]

10 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

So the Famteam all got Covid which is why Rick stopped his living room meetings a couple of weeks ago.  During his last Dad on Wheels session he mentioned Cathy had/was having a particularly hard time.  Guess you can't be truly safe at home if you invite outsiders in to listen to Dad's ramblings during the middle of a pandemic.  And I'm willing to bet none of them ever wore masks when they did go out. 

He said all of them got Covid?! Wow. Dang that would be a considered a super spreader but it is just one family! 

Edited February 1, 2021 by quiversR4hunting
Finished thought

[JenniferJuniper]

10 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

He said all of them got Covid?! Wow. Dang that would be a considered a super spreader but it is just one family! 

He was vague, but did say "something like" 11 of the family tested positive, including himself.