Patience and Nathan Axmann

[Fallgirl30]

I KNEW something was up.  Patience is completely head over heels for this guy.  I remember around the time of the wedding that her dad made a post about how proud he was of her, then another friend chimed in with something as well, it seemed like an intentional slap in the face to Chris, although I read into everything. There was another post about AOC not being to find affordable housing in DC and someone commented on how she could get married to remedy the problem.  ‘Twas funny.

[pook]

I went and checked out the wedding pics.  Holy moly those are some awkward photos, almost cringe worthy!  I swear to G-D if I married an actual ferret tomorrow we would most definitely have more chemistry.  What a mess!

[Gobsmacked]

Where are the wedding pics posted?

 

[danvillebelle]

I feel so sorry for both of them.  Trying to build a marriage on a lie and on something that you are not and never will be is just tragedy waiting to happen.  It will not end well, whether that's in 2 years or 20.

A long-time friend of my aunt's (now in his late 60's) tried to do what Nathan did.  He married and had two kids.  He loved his wife.  But he was ALWAYS openly gay on the side with his friends whom he knew he could trust, and always had boyfriends on the side.  His wife knew (hell, everyone knew) and chose to just live in complete denial.  He finally had the courage to leave when his kids were both past 18.  He's been happily living with a partner ever since. 

Totally random comment - Nathan looks about 15yo and honestly I can tell he's gay just from his pictures (particularly the awkward no-chemistry ones with his wife).  It's so obvious.

ETA: this photo.  

 

Edited May 15, 2019 by danvillebelle
more

[Howl]

I've been reflecting on this, and it's taken me back to tender-hearted, naive me at 20, who thought life was understandable and predictable and had zero idea of what lay ahead (I'm 70 now). 

I'd like to wrap a bubble around those two naifs to buffer them from life's realities and how the rigid expectations and cruel demands of their religious beliefs about sexuality and sin will play out in their lives eventually.  That said, I sense that he won't be a cruel patriarchal asshole and I do hope that there is a deep friendship that develops through their shared loved of creative pursuits.  

Anyway, I'm wondering if his being out about same-sex attraction has led them to have some franker and deeper conversations about sex (and other things) than most fundy couples.  I'm also assuming that Nathan never acted on his same-sex attractions. 

I love her simple dress and his floral tie. 

[Kelsey]

I make the same face as him when I smell something funky ans am trying to determine if one of my dogs ?.

This just seems like it's going to lead to a world of hurt, for both of them. I can't believe someone's parents would encourage this. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

I make the same face as him when I smell something funky ans am trying to determine if one of my dogs ?.

This just seems like it's going to lead to a world of hurt, for both of them. I can't believe someone's parents would encourage this. 

It’s Lisa Pennington. She’s done so much to make me go “wtf?” I’m not surprised she’s ok with this. She probably still hopes that one day Chris will become like Nate. 

[Feministe9000]

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s Lisa Pennington. She’s done so much to make me go “wtf?” I’m not surprised she’s ok with this. She probably still hopes that one day Chris will become like Nate. 

I agree!! Their entire relationship has Lisa's hands all over it
I know Patience is clearly very talented as a photographer, but I feel as though so much of hers (and Nathan's) lives is based on image, and no wonder why...... I feel sad for both of them.

In other news, Chris posted a YouTube video (see below) about their new book of poems they are working on written during the year after they left religion (their words) I can't wait. Chris has just blossomed, and given all we know about the Pennington kids childhoods, I am just so so so happy for them.

 

[pook]

On 5/14/2019 at 7:02 PM, Gobsmacked said:

Where are the wedding pics posted?

 

Very sorry for the late reply b/c woman's work, I kid, I kid..  You can google their names and click on images.

[Petronella]

On 5/15/2019 at 12:20 PM, danvillebelle said:

Totally random comment - Nathan looks about 15yo and honestly I can tell he's gay just from his pictures (particularly the awkward no-chemistry ones with his wife).  It's so obvious.

ETA: this photo.  

 

Lack of chemistry, sure, but it sounds like you’re saying he “looks” gay and that’s pretty gross. I mean, he’s explicitly said he’s attracted to men so it’s not even necessary to guess. Claiming to know strangers’ sexualities just by looking plays into ultimately harmful stereotypes.

[hollyfeller]

On ‎5‎/‎15‎/‎2019 at 4:20 AM, danvillebelle said:

I think her dress is stunning!  But these artsy wedding photos where the bride and groom look like strangers annoy me.  To each their own!

[Howl]

3 hours ago, hollyfeller said:

I think her dress is stunning! 

Yes, it's beautifully simple and simply beautiful.  On top of that, it looks really comfortable to wear throughout all the hours of photography, wedding and reception.  I'm big on comfy clothes! 

One thing I do find fascinating is the passion for writing and creative pursuits for so many of the women in that family.  Don't know about the guys, although the oldest son was quite interested in music and was an "aspiring" musician at some point and perhaps still is. 

Lisa had a college education and I suspect was a rigorous and disciplined home-schooling mom, so all the kids received a good basic education.  As ever, I'm sad that none of these very smart Penningtons are going to college, at least not yet.  There's the awesome and excellent ACC (Austin Community College) with campuses all over Austin and quite a variety of certification programs.  The Univ. of Texas cranks out Ph Ds at an alarming rate and many of them teach at ACC while waiting for their big job offer or teach there while they are grad students.   

Chris and Faith are in Austin, which is now a crazy expensive place to live, and are likely caught up in working low-wage jobs to make rent.  It's really hard to get ahead past the paycheck-to-paycheck stage.  Housing prices have rocketed into the stratosphere over the last five years.  

IIRC, the oldest son was going to or did do the on-line Oakbrook Law School curriculum.  I don't know if he was going for the paralegal program or full fledged lawyer like his dad. 

I have to say, doing a paralegal program through them would not be a bad idea; it's cheap and you'd come out the other end with a marketable skill to support yourself. 

Edited May 17, 2019 by Howl

[Petronella]

19 minutes ago, Howl said:

Yes, it's beautifully simple and simply beautiful.  On top of that, it looks really comfortable to wear throughout all the hours of photography, wedding and reception.  I'm big on comfy clothes! 

I agree, it’s gorgeous. In fact it resembles my wedding dress, though mine had shorter sleeves and I wasn’t as pretty as she is. (But my husband is hetero, so... advantage me, I guess?)

Edited May 17, 2019 by Petronella

[VVV]

41 minutes ago, Howl said:

Chris and Faith are in Austin, which is now a crazy expensive place to live, and are likely caught up in working low-wage jobs to make rent.  It's really hard to get ahead past the paycheck-to-paycheck stage.  Housing prices have rocketed into the stratosphere over the last five years.  

I understand that Austin is a way cooler place to live than San Antonio, but if those young women really wanted to get ahead in life, they would move to San Antonio where housing is still cheap and enroll in one of the several Alamo Community College campuses. They could do their basics there very, very inexpensively while working as baristas (newsflash, there are coffee shops in San Antonio too, even cool ones) and then complete a four year degree at the University of Texas at San Antonio. 

[Howl]

VVV, I agree 100% with your plan!

However, Austin is a much more LGBT friendly and accommodating place than San Antonio, so that is likely part of the appeal.  It has some good public transportation in some areas, so you're not totally screwed if you don't have a car. 

I was in San Antonio a few weeks ago.   San Antonio is a sprawling place for sure, but with some wonderful neighborhoods and an epic system of paved bike/pedestrian paths.  This has been an awesome spring for wildflowers, and the Loop 1604 road side was blanketed with firewheels (Indian blankets) -- acres of them.  The amazing wildflowers and a Pema Chodron tape made creeping along Loop 1604 in rush hour traffic (SRSLY, 5:15  pm on a weekday) a not-bad experience.  

That said, I journeyed to deep South Austin yesterday -- an area I rarely visit.  Sprawl was endless and traffic was awful - equally bad or worse than San Antonio.   I'll stay up here in the north part of  town, which is very doable on a bike and by car.  It made me appreciate my 'hood! 

Edited May 17, 2019 by Howl

[NachosFlandersStyle]

They just bought a house. Nathan posted about it saying that he was able to buy it on account of all the lawns he mowed in high school, and that we should "never underestimate the power of working hard!"

Ugh, that's so smug and stupid. First, it appears to be a manufactured home. Second, it's in Wichita. Third, he says in his IG stories that it's a HUD foreclosure and it's in pretty rough shape on the inside. So you bought it for what, $25k? Congrats, but that's a down payment for most people. I'd be a homeowner too if I wanted to lived in a trashed double-wide.

Also, I hadn't heard him speak before, but his affect is very stereotypically feminine or gay. Obviously the way a person speaks dosen't always mean much, but we know that Nate IS gay and I'm sure that his efforts to hide his sexuality are made very difficult by the way that his voice is perceived. He and Patience must get a lot of raised eyebrows. Going public with his "struggle" is probably less a coming-out and more an explanation for people who already wondered.

 

[usedbicycle]

2 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

They just bought a house. Nathan posted about it saying that he was able to buy it on account of all the lawns he mowed in high school, and that we should "never underestimate the power of working hard!"

Ugh, that's so smug and stupid. First, it appears to be a manufactured home. Second, it's in Wichita. Third, he says in his IG stories that it's a HUD foreclosure and it's in pretty rough shape on the inside. So you bought it for what, $25k? Congrats, but that's a down payment for most people. I'd be a homeowner too if I wanted to lived in a trashed double-wide.

I think that's pretty unfair to snark on their house purchase. I found it online and it's real house, 4 beds 2 baths, about $85,000. Don't want to post the listing here because it's creepy, but it's 100% the right house.

And even if it were a 25K double-wide trailer, good for them for saving young and putting money in a cheap house in a cheap area, rather than being tied to a slave-rate mortgage. One things fundies do right is their relationship to debt and their ability to turn crappy houses into pretty homes. 

What I find most annoying is that he makes it seem like he paid for the whole thing himself. I thought Patience had a pretty successful photography business before being married? Did she contribute nothing of her own savings? That's some patriarchal bullshit, whether she didn't, or whether she did and he didn't mention it. 

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

The biggest issue with manufactured homes is that they are notorious for losing their value over time. But if it’s not a manufactured home then it’s likely a decent investment. Depending on how much money they have to spend to fix it up. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

1 hour ago, usedbicycle said:

I think that's pretty unfair to snark on their house purchase. I found it online and it's real house, 4 beds 2 baths, about $85,000. Don't want to post the listing here because it's creepy, but it's 100% the right house.

And even if it were a 25K double-wide trailer, good for them for saving young and putting money in a cheap house in a cheap area, rather than being tied to a slave-rate mortgage. One things fundies do right is their relationship to debt and their ability to turn crappy houses into pretty homes. 

What I find most annoying is that he makes it seem like he paid for the whole thing himself. I thought Patience had a pretty successful photography business before being married? Did she contribute nothing of her own savings? That's some patriarchal bullshit, whether she didn't, or whether she did and he didn't mention it. 

 

 

I'm totally fine with them buying a house! What I hate is the implication that if only the rest of us were as industrious as him, we'd all be buying houses in our early 20s. 

[VVV]

4 hours ago, Howl said:

VVV, I agree 100% with your plan!

However, Austin is a much more LGBT friendly and accommodating place than San Antonio, so that is likely part of the appeal.  It has some good public transportation in some areas, so you're not totally screwed if you don't have a car. 

I know plenty of LGBT people in San Antonio who are living full and happy lives. Just saying.

It is true that public transportation in SA is spotty but if they choose the right neighborhood, they could get an apartment or a garage apartment for very cheap (at least compared to Austin rents) with easy bus access to San Antonio College, and they'd be close to downtown, the coolest coffee shops, and a lot of gay bars. Also, students enrolled at SAC get free bus passes. Plus the downtown campus of UTSA would also be reachable by bus, and there is bus service between the downtown and 1604 campuses of UTSA.

In the meantime we've been paying $600/month for a very small room in a house (shared kitchen and bath) for our son at UT, and grinding our teeth with the traffic every time we go up there. There is no freaking way I would ever want to move to Austin.

[Howl]

I hear ya, VVV.  We came back from South Austin to our place up north: 23 miles from one end of town to the other, via I 35, which was a slow moving morass at 2:30 in the afternoon.  

So Nathan and Patience are living in Wichita, Kansas?

I think some types of manufactured homes do fine in value IF they are on a permanent foundation.  Good for them for starting married life in their own home.  Young people have lots of energy and they are creative enough to fix it up to be their own beautiful home.  Just check out Pinterest. 

[zeebaneighba]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The biggest issue with manufactured homes is that they are notorious for losing their value over time. But if it’s not a manufactured home then it’s likely a decent investment. Depending on how much money they have to spend to fix it up. 

While Wichita is generally a cheap place to live, real estate valuations have SOARED in the last few years, My house  -- while definitely NOT a $ 25K house -- has gone up over $12K in assessed value over the last 2 years.  Most neighborhoods have had similar rates of increase.  If they can fix it up fairly inexpensively, they might be able to make a nice profit on it.

[Kelsey]

I only have one question: does it have a marble threshold?

Seriously though, every situation is different and there are plenty of situations where a 25k "trashed out double-wide" is a good investment, especially of said dw is on a piece of land that they also own. 25k is less than two years rent of a not very nice 1 br apartment where I'm from. 

[The Mother Dust]

"Trashed out double-wide" is a mood.  I've been feeling like that lately.  ?sigh ?

Edited May 18, 2019 by The Mother Dust

[Hane]

2 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

"Trashed out double-wide" is a mood.  I've been feeling like that lately.  ?sigh ?

Yeah. I’m so bummed by the current US political climate that I’m taking a vacation from Facebook for a few days.