Dillards 76: Somewhat successful social media?!?

[twoandthrough]

21 minutes ago, Nikedagain? said:

In the live from Amy's store, Jill mentions a birthday pedicure with her mom. Her birthday meal was just girls also. And wasn't Michelle the only one to attend one of the boys birthday party? Have we seen Jill with JB lately? There must be very hard feelings between Derrick and JB. Although they're both vile, it's got to be tough on Jill. 

I agree. Jill has always seemed like such a people pleaser to me (not dissing her for it - I tend to be the same way) and was always portrayed as the golden child. IF there is turmoil between her and JB or Derick and JB, that has to be SO SO tough for her. 

[Jinder Roles]

On 5/16/2019 at 6:06 PM, finnlassie said:

One form of religious abuse I've encountered and experienced, and many others have too, is the whole "I know what God's will for you is". Good God it feels sore to even remember. The Christian Society at my old uni had some really toxic people that were just out there to correct me and others, knowing better than anyone else.

Yup. Your decisions, feelings etc are not your own. And it encourages you to not trust yourself or set boundaries. 

In the video posted, JB mentions so many times all the bad stuff that happened to people who “went their own way” and didn’t listen to God. It’s all about fear and control with these people. 

Also, at 2:18:00 Priscilla talks about trusting the one God has for you “even if there’s no attraction”. 

That’s very telling of her and David’s relationship to me. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, Jinder Roles said:

Also, at 2:18:00 Priscilla talks about trusting the one God has for you “even if there’s no attraction”. 

 That’s very telling of her and David’s relationship to me. 

Pa Keller’s work is really something isn’t it?

[JordynDarby5]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I’ve been saying it for years - Michelle wears the pants in that relationship in every way but literal.

this is her crazy train.  She designed it, built it, is the engineer and ...whatever other train functions there are (my analogy ran out of steam.)

hes her enabler - she chose a man who would do her bidding and be her enforcer and take the heat for her control.  She’s not smart but she’s cagey.

Same here. I realized early on that Michelle was wearing the pants in the relationship and family. She never actually did any of the stuff she preached and claimed women were supposed to do. She doesn't cook, clean, or raise her kids. Nope she handed that off to her daughters. She saw no problem in doing that nor did she even think she needed to hide it. Nope, she announced in the very first special that her daughters do everything without any shame or sense not to say that. JB does whatever she wants and he gets to brag about marrying a cheerleader and how many times he got her pregnant. They both got what they wanted and worked hard to find the fame and money they wanted.  

[Jinder Roles]

Another thing Michelle mentioned is “not understanding the reason the Lord calls you to do something” before you do it. So basically, don’t think for yourself. 

Priscilla is obsessed with authority. She mentions “working through your authority” every third sentence. 

Sermons, conferences, Q&As with their kin is where we really see how these fundies believe and operate. The social media posts are heavily edited as they cater to a larger, less knowledgeable audience. Plus, fundies are rebranding. 

Also, I was surprised to see this is a Youth for Christ event, which is associated with more mainline Baptist churches around the world (although practices between Baptists  can vary greatly). 

But evangelicals around the world have been shifting more fundie for years now. 

Edited to say: David literally said “your denominational tag with either fall off on the way to heaven or burn off on the way to hell” 

I feel sorry for his children. 

Edited May 24, 2019 by Jinder Roles

[mollysmom]

5 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I’ve been saying it for years - Michelle wears the pants in that relationship in every way but literal.

this is her crazy train.  She designed it, built it, is the engineer and ...whatever other train functions there are (my analogy ran out of steam.)

hes her enabler - she chose a man who would do her bidding and be her enforcer and take the heat for her control.  She’s not smart but she’s cagey.

You know, I'm starting to wonder....is this a fundie thing or are most man/woman relationships like this? I only ask because my "mom" (I use that term VERY loosely) definitely wears the pants in their marriage (and like Michelle she doesn't wear them figuratively cuz she's "not a whore") and the same goes for my brothers. Their wives aren't allowed to wear pants or work outside of the home. Their job is to serve their husbands and have lots of babies, yet they (their wives) are clearly the bosses of the relationship. It goes against everything they preach from the pulpit which is so strange to me. They preach that the women need to be submissive to the man yet there is not a doubt in my head as to who the real bosses are. So messed up. These fundies are ridiculous. 

[Georgiana]

5 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

Also, at 2:18:00 Priscilla talks about trusting the one God has for you “even if there’s no attraction”. 

That’s very telling of her and David’s relationship to me. 

That courtship story is really....something, if you've never read it.  This is one of my favorite parts, where she likens her road to courtship with David to Jesus' journey to his crucifixion because she didn't feel anything. And then says love/marriage is basically death.  Her marriage to David is, I suppose, her cross then.  

Quote

A few days later, I realized that my run around the lake may have been my last as a single young lady.  Strangely, as I ran, I did not sense or feel emotions of the Lord’s presence as I had so often felt in times before. As I came to my special rock half way around the lake, I was praying for David and for my family, but I did not understand why there was no emotion. I hardly sensed God’s presence at all. It seemed especially odd because I had so looked forward to this last time around the lake before traveling back to Chicago and beginning a courtship relationship with David.

I cried out to the Lord as I headed back to the lodge: “Lord, I know that love is not an emotion! Please show me what you are doing.” Jogging down the road, the Lord reminded me of the road He trod to Calvary. That was certainly not a road of emotion. He prayed three times that, if it was possible, to have this cup pass from Him. However, God so loved the world that He sent His only son to lay down His life for us. True, sincere love is not an emotion, but it is laying down your life. I needed to lay down my life, my plans, my future, my all so that together, we could go farther for God.

 

[Vivi_music]

@Georgiana

WOW. I have never read it before. Thank you. This is really a WTF paragraph though. It actually makes me feel sad for Priscilla. (and I admit, it sounds like weird fundie speech blaterring their memorized line about the only begotten son of God laying down his life).

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, mollysmom said:

You know, I'm starting to wonder....is this a fundie thing or are most man/woman relationships like this? I only ask because my "mom" (I use that term VERY loosely) definitely wears the pants in their marriage (and like Michelle she doesn't wear them figuratively cuz she's "not a whore") and the same goes for my brothers. Their wives aren't allowed to wear pants or work outside of the home. Their job is to serve their husbands and have lots of babies, yet they (their wives) are clearly the bosses of the relationship. It goes against everything they preach from the pulpit which is so strange to me. They preach that the women need to be submissive to the man yet there is not a doubt in my head as to who the real bosses are. So messed up. These fundies are ridiculous. 

My mom absolutely deferred to men - she was quite submissive and obedient until she decided to leave and not look back.  But she didn't wear the pants in any relationship.

[onekidanddone]

Didn’t know quite where to put this. 

 

https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/owners-of-noahs-ark-replica-sue-over-rain-damage/507-b0bbb934-e3ec-43e3-8b9c-a04754167da6

2 hours ago, Georgiana said:

That courtship story is really....something, if you've never read it.  This is one of my favorite parts, where she likens her road to courtship with David to Jesus' journey to his crucifixion because she didn't feel anything. And then says love/marriage is basically death.  Her marriage to David is, I suppose, her cross then.  

 

Went to a wedding last summer where the father of the groom spoke. He said marriage is a series of sacrifices. Apparently according to the dad the sacrifice in marriage is just like the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. 

Gee wiz dad thanks for that happy visual. So very appropriate for a wedding. 

[backyard sylph]

To sum up your Michelle conversation, she had a pregnancy fetish/obsession, and constructed a huge fairytale conceit around it to keep indulging in it. 

AND, I suppose, so did Gil Bates. As to some of the other extreme numbers families, there are mixtures of fear and a need for control. But that's just regular religious extremism, likely, now with the internet mirror to stare into.

[bella8050]

Priscilla's story is really something. If I had a friend tell me that I would have told her to consider that maybe the "silence" was God telling her "no" and to consider ending the relationship. 

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, onekidanddone said:

Didn’t know quite where to put this. 

 

https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/owners-of-noahs-ark-replica-sue-over-rain-damage/507-b0bbb934-e3ec-43e3-8b9c-a04754167da6

Went to a wedding last summer where the father of the groom spoke. He said marriage is a series of sacrifices. Apparently according to the dad the sacrifice in marriage is just like the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. 

Gee wiz dad thanks for that happy visual. So very appropriate for a wedding. 

Wow. Did he attend the Steve Maxwell chapter of Toastmasters?

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

3 hours ago, Georgiana said:

That courtship story is really....something, if you've never read it.  This is one of my favorite parts, where she likens her road to courtship with David to Jesus' journey to his crucifixion because she didn't feel anything. And then says love/marriage is basically death.  Her marriage to David is, I suppose, her cross then.  

 

Can you link to the whole thing please?  

[Georgiana]

1 hour ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Can you link to the whole thing please?  

David’s side of the story (where he is clearly trying to put off or get around marriage but moves forward because his mother mocks him): https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

Pris’ side (which I quoted): https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/priscillas-story/

For anyone wondering about those urls, it used to be VERY trendy for fundie couples to have those sorts of website names. 

Edited May 25, 2019 by Georgiana

[nickelodeon]

19 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

For anyone wondering about those urls, it used to be VERY trendy for fundie couples to have those sorts of website names. 

The Staddon-Neely couple had a "he loves she dot com" url not too long ago! Prohibitions around dancing and wearing hideous clothes may change, but corny ass domain name trends endure forever.

[luv2laugh]

I can make a lot of assumptions and conclusions about the Dillards but I don’t really know. I’ve always been a believer that JB & Derick are feuding over money. Based on Derick’s behavior on Twitter, he also seems like a nasty, controlling, mean man. I think Jill is questioning her identity and beliefs.

Both the Duggars and Derick are bad. I get the sense Derick acts like it’s “my way or JB’s way”. What is Jill going to do?

Jill and Priscilla were always my “pet fundies”. I’ve noticed Jill and Priscilla frequently “like” each other’s Instagram pictures..... I always feel sad for Jill.

Edit: I haven’t visited Jill’s Instagram in awhile nor read comments but it is a hotbed of misogyny. I felt crushed reading them.

Edited May 25, 2019 by luv2laugh

[bella8050]

2 hours ago, Georgiana said:

David’s side of the story (where he is clearly trying to put off or get around marriage but moves forward because his mother mocks him): https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

Pris’ side (which I quoted): https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/priscillas-story/

For anyone wondering about those urls, it used to be VERY trendy for fundie couples to have those sorts of website names. 

So David gets pushed into courting because his mom calls him a chicken, he asks Priscilla to court through a note, and she suddenly has all the emotions that she had justified the absence of away a few days earlier? Wow what a love story.

[Jessalyn]

3 hours ago, Georgiana said:

David’s side of the story (where he is clearly trying to put off or get around marriage but moves forward because his mother mocks him): https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

Pris’ side (which I quoted): https://www.davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/priscillas-story/

For anyone wondering about those urls, it used to be VERY trendy for fundie couples to have those sorts of website names. 

Boy oh boy that was a such a weird look into their world. They truly live in a different dimension!  

[MomKB]

7 hours ago, Jessalyn said:

Boy oh boy that was a such a weird look into their world. They truly live in a different dimension!  

I still can't get over that at the age of 24 he was sending his journal entries to his parents every day. And I was raised fundie, but not like that.

I have known some fundies like them though. Actually, it was seeing their craziness that gave me the initial push out of complementarian Christianity. (I'm an egalitarian Christian now.)

[Chewing Gum]

16 hours ago, bella8050 said:

Priscilla's story is really something. If I had a friend tell me that I would have told her to consider that maybe the "silence" was God telling her "no" and to consider ending the relationship. 

Exactly! And there's this part: "Superior and the Lord seemed to say, “I have opened this door and I just want you to go through it.” The Lord gave me so much peace that day. This was especially important because I felt like David did not know me at all, and I really did not know David, but I felt total peace that I should just walk through the door that He had given me to begin a courtship with the goal of discerning whether David was the one for me and if I was the one for him. God’s peace flooded my soul as I realized He was the one who had opened this door and He would be the one to lead me as I walked through the door."

So basically it's just an arranged marriage. Poor lamb.

[BachelorToTheRapture]

I cant get past the part where David says this was his first time going on dates with anyone other than his mom and sisters. Creepy emotional incest alert! ?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, BachelorToTheRapture said:

I cant get past the part where David says this was his first time going on dates with anyone other than his mom and sisters. Creepy emotional incest alert! ?

Yes!  Can fundies stop saying this?  My son and daughter sometimes grab dinner or a drink.  He has gone to movies with both me and his sister.

IT'S NOT DATING!!

[finnlassie]

I mean, I jokingly say I'm going on dates with my friends (just banter between some of us, I don't do it with just any random friend) but I'd never say I'm on a date with my... family members. They're outings and gatherings!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 minutes ago, finnlassie said:

I mean, I jokingly say I'm going on dates with my friends (just banter between some of us, I don't do it with just any random friend) but I'd never say I'm on a date with my... family members. They're outings and gatherings!

Totally different.  I'm pretty sure I've asked @Destiny to marry me several hundred times...but in people like who understand relationships and how boundaries and humor work that's just funny.  

These people have boundary issues, no sense of humor, and are confused by the most basic facts about how humans work so it's creepy.