Andrea Reins is Engaged!

[AnnaSofia]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I honestly thought this would be the only way Sarah Maxwell would ever get married. 

I was always a bit surprised the Reins sisters never married. They've been aging hard the past five years or so, but I considered both quite pretty well into their 30s. I figured it wasn't a lack of suitors so much as a case of talking a good game, but deep down having no desire to be the frazzled mother-of-many they would be expected to be if married. Eternal SAHD-hood is almost a paradise in comparison.

Seeing what Andrea is getting herself into now, even if she never has biological children of her own, is making me totally rethink that. I'm kinda baffled, honestly. But maybe you're right about the older daughters picking up a lot of the slack.

I've always considered Sarah Maxwell is a different case, in that I put the blame 100% on Steve. Whatever is going on there, I don't think it's Sarah's choice at all.

[Howl]

So, if he has a 30-year-old, he must have had another even earlier marriage. 

[SecularMusic]

Becoming an instant mother to nine children would be a nightmare. I can't imagine the time spent doing everyday chores like cooking, cleaning and laundry plus paying attention to each child.

 

after waiting almost 40 years to marry, she deserves a honeymoon period with romantic weekend trips, the chance to chose a place to live and decorate, and time to get used to living with her new husband. It will be like going from 0 to 100 mph instantly for her. I hope she ar least gets to take a decent honeymoon before taking over her mom/wife duties.

[tabitha2]

I suppose since the two oldest girls are already doing all of the housekeeping and mothering duties and that’s probably the perfectly  suitable and ideal helpmeat training in the adults POV  It won’t all be thrown on Andreas shoulders. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

42 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

It’s ultimately a marriage of convenience. He gets a mother for his children and compliant wife she gets children and a male headship and someone to take care of her financially.  It ain’t love but it ain’t bad. 

It sort of reminds me of Sarah Plain and Tall. 

[mango_fandango]

I know nothing about the Reinses. But wow what a change in circumstances. Those poor oldest daughters having to do everything. That is sister-momming at another level. 

[socalrules]

I can’t imagine coming into an already established home with nine kids and trying to make it my own. I would be afraid to redecorate or change anything in the house lest the kids become upset because it was something important to their mom. She is stepping into a delicate situation and I wonder how someone who finally gets to be an adult at 39 will handle it. 

[hoipolloi]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

So, if he has a 30-year-old, he must have had another even earlier marriage. 

Yes, the obit for the mother of the nine kids refers to a 27-year-old step-daughter who is presumably not living at the home.

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It sort of reminds me of Sarah Plain and Tall. 

EXACTLY what I thought, but it's hard to imagine Andrea Reins being as understanding and gracious as the fictional Sarah.

I hope that's a mistaken impression.

[VVV]

In addition to the sheer logistical nightmare of instant motherhood with nine children from adolescents to toddlers, those are likely to be nine traumatized kids after losing their mother.That is a situation begging for professional counseling for all involved, and you know that’s not going to happen.

[nausicaa]

6 hours ago, socalrules said:

She is stepping into a delicate situation and I wonder how someone who finally gets to be an adult at 39 will handle it. 

Yes, I hope that everyone is going into this with clear eyes. 

I suppose counseling is a bit too much to hope for. But I will continue to hope for it.

[DomWackTroll]

11 hours ago, VVV said:

Does it seem weird to anyone else that the particular Sound of Music scene being referenced in that video is the scene with the Baroness? Not Maria? And that particular engagement did not end well.

Plus they were all Roman Catholics. 

[FeministShrew]

Good grief, that video! I made it through less than a minute. 
That guy looks too much like Doug Phillips the Tool.
I'm not familiar with the Reins, but Andrea looks less than thrilled to me. More like resigned to her fate.

[JermajestyDuggar]

His sons are Matthew, Mark, Luke and then the rest are girls. How much you want to bet the next boy will be John...

[mountaineer]

This got under my skin:

“...the 20:1 teacher-to-student ratio in a public school is down to 1:1 in our classroom. Often I spend as much as a half-hour with one of the children on a subject if I see he or she is having a problem.”

Dude, the teacher-to-student ratio would be 1:1 in your house if you had only one child and no other job. And I'm shaking my head at the idea that a maximum of 30 minutes of direct instruction by Dad wildly exceeds the resources available to struggling students by professional educators in most public schools.

[VVV]

I wonder if he actually approached Kelly first and in a completely uncharacteristic moment of common sense, she passed.

My great-great-grandmother was a Civil War widow (no children; they were newlyweds) who married her sister-in-law's widower (many children). She went on to have many children of her own. Later in life, she said that if she'd known she was going to have nine children, she wouldn't have married [my great-great-grandfather] if he'd been the best man on earth. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, mountaineer said:

This got under my skin:

“...the 20:1 teacher-to-student ratio in a public school is down to 1:1 in our classroom. Often I spend as much as a half-hour with one of the children on a subject if I see he or she is having a problem.”

Dude, the teacher-to-student ratio would be 1:1 in your house if you had only one child and no other job. And I'm shaking my head at the idea that a maximum of 30 minutes of direct instruction by Dad wildly exceeds the resources available to struggling students by professional educators in most public schools.

I’m always amazed at the stupidity of fundie homeschoolers. Does he think that parents of children who go to evil public school teach their children nothing? Parents still help their children with homework and teach them. It’s as if they think we do nothing but sit on our asses and ignore our kids when they get home from school. Or we just spend all our time at work. I only have two children. So I can pretty easily help them with their school work 1 on 1. Of course my younger child is only in preschool but we read books, count, and do artwork together. My kids learn both from their school and their parents. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Even if this guy is working from home, he's still working full-time while the older daughters watch the younger kids. The odds that any of them are actually getting substantial instruction in any topic seem slim.

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, mountaineer said:

Dude, the teacher-to-student ratio would be 1:1 in your house if you had only one child and no other job. And I'm shaking my head at the idea that a maximum of 30 minutes of direct instruction by Dad wildly exceeds the resources available to struggling students by professional educators in most public schools.

I find that Fundie homeschoolers have a very skewed idea of what public school is like, and what the parents of public schoolers are like. Many really believe that public schools just corral forty kids into some windowless room all day while they do worksheets on the history of Planned Parenthood and Roman orgies. 

It is interesting that he has a college degree from a well-respected (Catholic!) school. I wonder if he expects the same of his kids (or at least sons) or if he doesn't care. 

[VVV]

I once asked a teenaged private violin student (homeschooler) to reschedule a lesson so that I could attend a school function for one of my children. My student congratulated me on being such an involved parent because it was so rare for kids at public school to have one. I have to be careful what I say in such circumstances but I did give the student my strongest possible WTF look and said that I knew a lot of involved parents.

Edited May 2, 2019 by VVV
removed gender identity

[DangerNoodle]

5 minutes ago, VVV said:

My student congratulated me on being such an involved parent because it was so rare for kids at public school to have one

Really makes you think what they could be out there teaching their kids.

We already know there are homeschool folks out there teaching kids things like tyrannosaurus and humans lived side-by-side. But the fact that they other public school families so much is sad. These homeschooled kids will grow up and vote. And probably not vote to fund the schools very well.

[VVV]

2 minutes ago, DangerNoodle said:

Really makes you think what they could be out there teaching their kids.

We already know there are homeschool folks out there teaching kids things like tyrannosaurus and humans lived side-by-side. But the fact that they other public school families so much is sad. These homeschooled kids will grow up and vote. And probably not vote to fund the schools very well.

Oh absolutely. Bashing the public schools, the teachers who teach there, and the parents who send their kids there is foundational for a scary number of fundie homeschoolers. And these people vote.

Edited May 2, 2019 by VVV
reworded b/c I am a compulsive self-editor

[Chewing Gum]

12 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I suppose since the two oldest girls are already doing all of the housekeeping and mothering duties and that’s probably the perfectly  suitable and ideal helpmeat training in the adults POV  It won’t all be thrown on Andreas shoulders. 

Actually, I think there will be a lot of tensions between the 2 oldest girls and Andrea. The 14 and 13yo are mom and have more knowledge to raising their siblings than Andrea has. To suddenly have a "mom" that takes over the one role your dad credits you for? Better watch out Andrea, you're in for a treat!

 

[tabitha2]

Yes but they are also young Fundie girls trained to submit to meekly and quietly  authority particularly to their fathers. Any outright indication of displeasure or disrespect to Andrea will likely be seen as rebelling against his wishes. You know that won’t end well for those daughters 

[DomWackTroll]

3 hours ago, Chewing Gum said:

Actually, I think there will be a lot of tensions between the 2 oldest girls and Andrea. The 14 and 13yo are mom and have more knowledge to raising their siblings than Andrea has. To suddenly have a "mom" that takes over the one role your dad credits you for? Better watch out Andrea, you're in for a treat!

 

Can you imagine Andrea asking the Empress of Sproul for advice before she seals the deal? Hell, after that phone call, she'd be running for the hills!

[Lurky]

6 hours ago, Chewing Gum said:

Actually, I think there will be a lot of tensions between the 2 oldest girls and Andrea. The 14 and 13yo are mom and have more knowledge to raising their siblings than Andrea has. To suddenly have a "mom" that takes over the one role your dad credits you for? Better watch out Andrea, you're in for a treat!

I was going to say exactly the same thing.  These 3 young teens have had to be completely responsible for the house and their siblings, and it will be really hard to walk the line between either walking in and expecting them to keep on drudging, like Cinderella's evil stepmother, or expecting them to do things completely differently, because now she's in charge. 

Of course the ideal is that she's Julie Andrews in Sound of Music (and NOT the real-life Maria von Trapp, from what I've read!) but I can't see how that could work in Fundyland, where Andrea's first and last duties are to submit to her husband, and the daughters have to keep sweet....

Ugh, so difficult - and ALL his fault, for putting so much responsibility on his little daughters' shoulders.