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Florida Stories 2: The Adventures of Florida Man (and Woman)


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47of74

The Florida Man who branded himself is back in the news.

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Matthew Kyle Leatham was collared on a misdemeanor failure to appear charge in connection with a criminal traffic case filed earlier this year after the 22-year-old was found driving without a license.

When Leatham did not appear for his initial court hearing, a judge last month issued an arrest warrant. Seen above, Leatham turned himself in Tuesday at the Pasco County jail, from which he was released after about two hours in custody.

As seen above in his latest booking photo, Leatham wears his allegiance to the Sunshine State on his forehead.

 

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47of74

He didn't want to get caught at home.

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Investigators say that witnesses reported observing Cruz Humes, 22, inside an SUV that was parked outside a Publix in Coral Springs, about five miles from Cruz’s apartment in Margate, a city in Broward County.

Humes, the witnesses said, had his penis exposed and was masturbating while “watching something on his phone” around 7 PM Monday.

When Coral Springs Police Department detectives subsequently confronted Humes, he was found “with his pants and underwear off and his phone open with an adult pornography site visible.”

Pictured above, Cruz reportedly confessed to the public indecency, saying he was “stressed out” and “came to the parking lot of the Publix to masturbate.” Cruz, who works at the chain supermarket, added that he did not want to risk getting caught masturbating at home.

So he decided to do it in a parking lot at his employer.  Ok, well then.  I think getting caught at home might lead to embarrassment but this is going to cause him lots more problems.

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Howl
On 3/29/2021 at 8:04 PM, 47of74 said:

The Florida Man who branded himself is back in the news.

That website, thesmokinggun.com, is an absolute treasure chest of the outré and bizarre. 

I love the Time Waster tab where you try to match the arrestee's mug shot with their (alleged !) crime. 

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47of74
On 4/4/2021 at 6:30 AM, Howl said:

That website, thesmokinggun.com, is an absolute treasure chest of the outré and bizarre. 

I love the Time Waster tab where you try to match the arrestee's mug shot with their (alleged !) crime. 

Yeah that is a lot harder than it looks to match up the suspect with their crime, weapon, and so on.  Most times it's better just to guess.

Meanwhile here's another moran from Florida.

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Steven Moran, 35, was arrested last month for criminal mischief and booked into the Indian River County jail on the misdemeanor charge.

While Moran was “awaiting release in the booking area,” he disconnected a Logitech webcam from a jail computer and placed the device in his pocket, cops say. Moran subsequently departed the lockup upon posting $1000 bond.

Investigators subsequently identified Moran as the alleged culprit and arrested him Thursday for depriving “the County Jail the right and use of the property.” Moran, who was later was freed after posting $500 on the misdemeanor theft count, is scheduled for arraignment on May 4.

 

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Cartmann99
On 4/4/2021 at 12:20 AM, 47of74 said:

He didn't want to get caught at home.

So he decided to do it in a parking lot at his employer.  Ok, well then.  I think getting caught at home might lead to embarrassment but this is going to cause him lots more problems.

From the link @47of74 posted:

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The complaint does not detail Humes’s living arrangements or who might possibly interrupt an onanistic endeavor. Humes, cops noted, said that he “masturbates in his car 2-3 times a week.”

No shower where he lives? :confusion-shrug:

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4 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

From the link @47of74 posted:

No shower where he lives? :confusion-shrug:

Yeah I guess not. Course he might’ve gotten yelled at that he was clogging the pipes. 

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Cartmann99
3 hours ago, 47of74 said:
7 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

 

Yeah I guess not. Course he might’ve gotten yelled at that he was clogging the pipes. 

That's why methods that involve items such as a hollowed-out loaf of Velveeta are not recommended in the shower.

 

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