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SolomonFundy

Courtney Rogers wrote an article about her family size.

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theotherelise

You never know what goes on behind the scenes, but there are plenty of things I appreciate about the way this family lives. I respect personal choices in families, so long as everyone is cared for physically, emotionally, educationally, etc. She seems to be on top of education in a mix of unschooling and homeschooling that can work if done well. I have no idea how you'd be able to focus on that when you're always pregnant or postpartum, but clearly her mileage varies.

I like the lack of overt gender requirements (she even has plenty of breastfeeding pics which seem to imply women's bodies are not sex objects), that they make time for special celebrations, have a tv and encourage reading, and all the kids appear to be properly fed and clothed. Conservative Christian, but does not appear to be angling for a tv show or sharing anything nasty towards people on twitter, so that's a plus. 

I've got a fairly low bar when I consider people like this next to jrod and poopistan. Bonus points for all the children's names being fairly normal, varied, and spelled logically. 

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JermajestyDuggar
29 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

You never know what goes on behind the scenes, but there are plenty of things I appreciate about the way this family lives. I respect personal choices in families, so long as everyone is cared for physically, emotionally, educationally, etc. She seems to be on top of education in a mix of unschooling and homeschooling that can work if done well. I have no idea how you'd be able to focus on that when you're always pregnant or postpartum, but clearly her mileage varies.

I like the lack of overt gender requirements (she even has plenty of breastfeeding pics which seem to imply women's bodies are not sex objects), that they make time for special celebrations, have a tv and encourage reading, and all the kids appear to be properly fed and clothed. Conservative Christian, but does not appear to be angling for a tv show or sharing anything nasty towards people on twitter, so that's a plus. 

I've got a fairly low bar when I consider people like this next to jrod and poopistan. Bonus points for all the children's names being fairly normal, varied, and spelled logically. 

I will have to check back in with her in 10 years. I imagine if she keeps having a baby every year, neglect will happen. It’s just inevitable. No one can parent 19 kids without relying on sister moms. And it’s possible she will end up with 19 at this rate.

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theotherelise

@JermajestyDuggar very true. There are oodles of reasons I don't think it is wise to have this many kids. I also think there frequently becomes some weird, dysfunctional self-competition component to mega families. I mean, she has a 47 week 3 day gap between #1 and #2, then had a gap of 41 weeks 6 days between #3 and #4. If you know you're so fertile that you ovulate immediately after birth, it just feels like you're intentionally going for the irish twin mega family if you don't use a condom and have unprotected sex a couple weeks after you gave birth. It honestly makes more sense to me if you have a religious objection to birth control rather than just go for all the babies just because. If you're constantly pregnant, when do you have time to ask, "does our family need more children" / "why do we want more children" / "how will our children be affected if we have more and more children."

Right now it looks like the older kids attend a homeschool coop some of the time and many of the kids participate in homeschool art classes outside the home. She's pretty crunchy, but maybe they'd be open to public school at some point to help out. 

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Sobeknofret

Oh God, she lives near me. I know exactly where that picture of them was taken.

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TuringMachine
1 hour ago, theotherelise said:

I've got a fairly low bar when I consider people like this next to jrod and poopistan. Bonus points for all the children's names being fairly normal, varied, and spelled logically. 

I've been having a problem using poopistan as my bar. It's too low. Kids are better of than the Nog kids if they live in a house, have a bed, have anything that remotely resembles an education, or have evidence of eating more than one meal a day.

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formergothardite

She has ten kids under the age of ten. She is pregnant, parenting a baby, toddlers, preschoolers, children of various ages who she is supposed to be educating and from some of the pictures it seems like she is caring for farm animals. I'm sorry, there is no way she is giving those children a proper education. Sure it seems like she is trying hard but how many hours in a day can she devote to teaching all those different grades? On top of all that she is doing she also works in constant doctor visits, regular thrift store trips(if she is really thrifting for the kids clothing), going to target and planning and putting together birthday parties. 

 

 

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JermajestyDuggar
2 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

She has ten kids under the age of ten. She is pregnant, parenting a baby, toddlers, preschoolers, children of various ages who she is supposed to be educating and from some of the pictures it seems like she is caring for farm animals. I'm sorry, there is no way she is giving those children a proper education. Sure it seems like she is trying hard but how many hours in a day can she devote to teaching all those different grades? On top of all that she is doing she also works in constant doctor visits, regular thrift store trips(if she is really thrifting for the kids clothing), going to target and planning and putting together birthday parties. 

 

 

That’s where I think the neglect comes in with Courtney. Her kids are all still young so she can tell herself it’s no big deal if her kids are behind in their schooling. But eventually she will have to face the consequences of it. Most likely when she has a lot of teens and elementary school age kids.

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ViolaSebastian
1 hour ago, albireo said:
Quote

This year Robert and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary, but I’m the one that reached a big milestone in March…I turned 30!!! Fortunately, I have finally aged some! 

Girlfriend needs to take some humble brag lessons from Abbie. :kitty-shifty: 

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formergothardite
Posted (edited)

To homeschool correctly you have to devote a lot of energy and time to it. Even unschoolers who are making sure their kids get a good education put a lot of effort into it. 

I just don't see how she has the time to put that much energy for all the grades she is teaching.\

She is not a Jill Rod., but that is a pretty low standard. It is hard to be worse than Jill.  

Edited by formergothardite

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feministxtian
1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

To homeschool correctly you have to devote a lot of energy and time to it. Even unschoolers who are making sure their kids get a good education put a lot of effort into it. 

I just don't see how she has the time to put that much energy for all the grades she is teaching.\

She is not a Jill Rod., but that is a pretty low standard. It is hard to be worse than Jill.  

When I was homeschooling, I actually wrote out lesson plans and assignment sheets for my kids. That way, if I was working with one, the rest knew what to do if they could not have my attention immediately. In reality, our "school day" was 2-4 hours depending on kid and grade level though. It's not quite like a "regular" school day. The younger ones, it was like herding cats. There'd be someone under the table, someone squirming on the floor, someone up in her room because she preferred to work independently and only come down if she had a question, one who had fits transitioning from one subject to another and one that tried my patience dealing with her particular set of learning problems. Interesting days back then. I'd do it again in a heartbeat though, just to see the look on one child's face when she finally got something. It was wonderful to share that with her. 

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Milly-Molly-Mandy

She seems to be doing a good job & all the kids look happy and to be getting an education. Some people are suited to having a large family. Some are not. Cough. Me. Cough. Michelle. 

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SolomonFundy

Well, apparently Clara is really into perineal massage during foreplay. I guess that's a cool thing to know about her.

(WHY do I google these people???)

Agreed with all the folks above: she really seems to have her act together as a mom to "littles", and her children look well-cared for. However, like most of you here, I do think that she's a few years (or one special-needs baby) away from her limit. And of course, it's the kids that will actually suffer if and when she does get overwhelmed.

I appreciate her effort in posting selfies that are significantly lower resolution than the pics of her kids, but it's still pretty clear that she looks unremarkably her true age. She's a lovely woman with nice skin, and it's plain that she's wearing the multiple births and years well. But if she thinks she looks like she "just stepped out of a middle school locker room", or a "young college student", I may need to roll my eyes back into my head until they stick there. I've never met anyone who spoke like that about their own appearance who wasn't an insufferable ass. 

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lilith
7 hours ago, theotherelise said:

@JermajestyDuggar very true. There are oodles of reasons I don't think it is wise to have this many kids. I also think there frequently becomes some weird, dysfunctional self-competition component to mega families. I mean, she has a 47 week 3 day gap between #1 and #2, then had a gap of 41 weeks 6 days between #3 and #4. If you know you're so fertile that you ovulate immediately after birth, it just feels like you're intentionally going for the irish twin mega family if you don't use a condom and have unprotected sex a couple weeks after you gave birth. It honestly makes more sense to me if you have a religious objection to birth control rather than just go for all the babies just because. If you're constantly pregnant, when do you have time to ask, "does our family need more children" / "why do we want more children" / "how will our children be affected if we have more and more children."

Right now it looks like the older kids attend a homeschool coop some of the time and many of the kids participate in homeschool art classes outside the home. She's pretty crunchy, but maybe they'd be open to public school at some point to help out. 

41 weeks and 6 days? 41 WEEKS AND 6 DAYS!!!??!? It can’t have been a 40 week pregnancy. Nobody ovulates less that 2 weeks after giving birth, surely. And who has sex less than 2 weeks after giving birth? You’re still bleeding at that stage! 

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SolomonFundy
8 minutes ago, lilith said:

41 weeks and 6 days? 41 WEEKS AND 6 DAYS!!!??!? It can’t have been a 40 week pregnancy. Nobody ovulates less that 2 weeks after giving birth, surely. And who has sex less than 2 weeks after giving birth? You’re still bleeding at that stage! 

From what she wrote for the article, her 5th was the first full-term pregnancy that she had, as well as the first home birth. Apparently, she was induced for the first 4, and the last of those spent several weeks in the NICU. Every single one of the first 4 spent some time in the NICU, ranging from days to weeks. Without knowing how premature the first 4 were, it's entirely possible that she did wait a month or more after delivery before resuming conjugal relations. 

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OhNoNike

Everyone is different but that amazes me.  I had very easy and uncomplicated vaginal deliveries with no collateral damage, and didn’t want my husband or anything in there for months.  Not just because of the bleeding but because I was so tired and leaking milk and just feeling most un-sexy.  Good on all y’all that can keep it alive, though.  

My grandmother was the oldest of 9 (two died as infants and they had more children and gave them the same names!!)... she peaced out of her Irish farmstead and moved to New Zealand as soon as she could. Lol.  I think back at these women in my life - independent women - and think... that’s where I got it from.  It also explains why I’m constantly battling with my little girls. Lol. 

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lilith
2 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

Everyone is different but that amazes me.  I had very easy and uncomplicated vaginal deliveries with no collateral damage, and didn’t want my husband or anything in there for months.  Not just because of the bleeding but because I was so tired and leaking milk and just feeling most un-sexy.  Good on all y’all that can keep it alive, though.  

My grandmother was the oldest of 9 (two died as infants and they had more children and gave them the same names!!)... she peaced out of her Irish farmstead and moved to New Zealand as soon as she could. Lol.  I think back at these women in my life - independent women - and think... that’s where I got it from.  It also explains why I’m constantly battling with my little girls. Lol. 

I know everyone is different and more power to anyone who wants to get back into the saddle quickly, but 2 weeks does seem excessive. The standard advice here is to wait til your 6 week checkup then do whatever you’re comfortable with. I have known some woman who are back at it within a month but I’ve always been far too preoccupied to think about it for at least the recommended 6 weeks - and co-sleeping means it has to be a somewhat planned activity.

Wow, look at me talking about my sex life online - soon I’ll be as modest as Lori.

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Aine
On 4/29/2019 at 7:12 PM, ViolaSebastian said:
Quote

This year Robert and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary, but I’m the one that reached a big milestone in March…I turned 30!!! Fortunately, I have finally aged some! 

Girlfriend needs to take some humble brag lessons from Abbie. :kitty-shifty: 

I look young for my age. I'll be 30 at the beginning of June and still have people think I have a fake ID. I live in the US but I actually have more issues with that in my home country of Australia, where the legal age to go into bars or buy alcohol is 18. I notice small lines and creases on my face these days and sometimes when I pay attention, I notice way more than on people who are way younger. But my face shape is not dissimilar to Clara's. Mine is rounder but still technically heart shaped. No matter how thin my body is at various points (due to bad health or not eating enough because of bad health- not due to any kind of health eating or healthy weight loss...or just "health" because thin does not mean healthy), my face stays plump around my cheeks and because my forehead is slightly wider than my face and that doesn't rely on fat- I guess I just look young?

It drives me crazy. I've probably talked about this on FreeJinger somewhere before but almost everyone older sees it as a 'good' thing that you look young for your age, and my stock answer is, "I guess I'll get sick of showing my ID one day." But when I was foster parent, I'd literally get snide remarks or judging looks from people in the grocery store or mall. I had more than one person ask me of my middle or youngest foster son, "So how old did that make you when you had him?" with a look of disgust on their face. Never mind that my oldest foster son, born when I was almost 16 years old, was almost exactly the age that the child conceived by my mother's rapist boyfriend that I aborted would have been (when I was 14) so you can only imagine the looks I got when I was out with him. And then this look of almost relief that passes over the faces of people when they find out that the kids aren't yours? Like that would be so wrong and indicative of your character if you're as old as they have guessed you to be.

As a psychologist, I often have to work hard to establish that I am qualified and can also empathize with a wide range of experiences without straight up offering my age when just about any adult at intake gives me a quick up and down after meeting them. 

People assume looking 'young' is a brag to admit (ala Trump telling the world he is the "YOUNGEST PERSON...I am a young, vibrant man!" 🙄) but there are boundaries to that. Even people who look plastic to appear 'young' don't want to look like a teen.

I don't have much to say about Clara except that I do find her spacing to be almost purposeful and that I think she is one hell of a lady to get through a degree with 4 children, including being pregnant and having infants and toddlers. I barely made it most of the time with three foster children that were roughly 2 years apart each when I was in undergrad 😐 I honestly cannot imagine...and as much as I truly enjoyed my boys, being at uni and the boys being at school/preschool/daycare in those periods kept me sane many a time. I would not have had her discipline to finish school at night.

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Pianokeeper

Chiming in to say that my skin isn't in particularly great shape, but my face is somewhere between round and heart shaped, and I too get mistaken for much younger than I am.  I want to point at my wrinkles and be like, "Seriously??" but, oh, well.  Oh, I was also born with fuller lips, which is apparently a fairly standard age indicator.  Meh. Mixed signals, I guess.

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JermajestyDuggar

Courtney posted a teaser about the baby’s name on insta. The middle name is Jean. The way she’s covering the name makes it look like it ends in E. I’m guessing Cassie or or Casidee.

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Briefly
3 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Courtney posted a teaser about the baby’s name on insta. The middle name is Jean. The way she’s covering the name makes it look like it ends in E. I’m guessing Cassie or or Casidee.

I saw that and my first thought was that she is trolling us now.  I saw that there were a few suggestions, one of which was Christina in honor of Courtney's husband.

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JermajestyDuggar
Just now, Briefly said:

I saw that and my first thought was that she is trolling us now.  I saw that there were a few suggestions, one of which was Christina in honor of Courtney's husband.

It doesn’t look like it ends with an A. So Christine or Christie is possible. 

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Pianokeeper

Could be an L.  Christabel? 

 

... or Chlorine!

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ViolaSebastian

Chipotle! Calamine! Concrete! Cribbage! Calliope! Cleavage! Celibate! Crucible! Caffeine! Corvette!

....seriously, though, I'm betting on Caroline. 

 

 

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feministxtian
26 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Chipotle! Calamine! Concrete! Cribbage! Calliope! Cleavage! Celibate! Crucible! Caffeine! Corvette!

....seriously, though, I'm betting on Caroline. 

 

 

NO!!!!! Please God do not pin that name on another poor unsuspecting child. That is my first name and I've hated it for as long as I can remember. 

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