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samurai_sarah

Lori 65: The Demonic Agenda regarding Women

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Koala
33 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

I would think leadership would be more along the lines of:

- We should/or shouldn't adopt this tradition in our family

- We should/ or shouldn't move to a bigger/smaller house, different town/state, etc. 

- We should/shouldn't get a pet

- We should switch to this church/gym/soccer league

- We should start doing x, y, z daily 

You know, things that actually LEAD your family in a positive, goal-oriented, spiritual or whatever direction! And notice it's a *we* thing . . . 

I mean, now that I've written this, it still sounds dumb, but not as bat-shit destructive as Lori's POV. 

 

Honestly, that sounds more like parenting to me, and I feel for the person who is married to someone they have to parent.

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SweetLaurel
18 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Is their kink? Great...keep it the same place a penis and religion belong, put away and only brought out to play with in private

Yes.   That is what a lot of this is.   Everyone just wants to wave God in front of it.  A LOT of it is kink.  I write dirty books for a living and have researched a lot.    If your sexual kink is to be naked and kneeling as the headship walks in - go for it.   If your sexual kink is to have to ask permission to pee and eat and serve the penis holder on your hands and knees  - why not?   I recently talked to a micro managed slave whose Dom just passed. She ended up in the hospital because no one told her she could eat or pee or bathe.  It does get that far.    It is just fine if it is a consensual kink.  Lori and Ken are into Taken In Hand lifestyle - Do what he says or get spanked.  She does love a good spanking.   Hers, kids, whatever  - it's a sexual kink.  She just primly won't ever admit that.  (and I think she is a brat/switch because while she likes a good spanking now and then, she is also not going to let him dictate things like decent food on the table).   Whatever.  They can blame God all they want. I don't believe it for a minute.  

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OyHiOh
39 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

Yes.   That is what a lot of this is.   Everyone just wants to wave God in front of it.  A LOT of it is kink.  I write dirty books for a living and have researched a lot.    If your sexual kink is to be naked and kneeling as the headship walks in - go for it.   If your sexual kink is to have to ask permission to pee and eat and serve the penis holder on your hands and knees  - why not?   I recently talked to a micro managed slave whose Dom just passed. She ended up in the hospital because no one told her she could eat or pee or bathe.  It does get that far.    It is just fine if it is a consensual kink.  Lori and Ken are into Taken In Hand lifestyle - Do what he says or get spanked.  She does love a good spanking.   Hers, kids, whatever  - it's a sexual kink.  She just primly won't ever admit that.  (and I think she is a brat/switch because while she likes a good spanking now and then, she is also not going to let him dictate things like decent food on the table).   Whatever.  They can blame God all they want. I don't believe it for a minute.  

I did a pretty thorough research phase on Christian Dom/sub and, keeping in mind I say this as an openly kinky person, it was down right terrifying to read those sites.  There's something uncomfortable that happens when you stir an iffy sense of enthusiastic consent, haphazard boundaries, and claiming you're called/bound to that specific lifestyle because God.

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Wine time!
Briefly
2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

If my husband "assigned" me tasks, I'd assign his ass to the trash heap. What is up with these women who want to stay children? 

Even when we were attempting fundy, Mr. Briefly knew better than to try something like that!

Although if I'm helping him with something in our businesses that I'm not adept at, he may have to tell me how to do something - once, and I'm talking like showing me a specific way he needed something done mechanically.  I have also had to tell him how to do something, such as when he was sewing quilts for his mom and stepmom.  But I don't think that is quite what Lori means.

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Depressed
Loveday
Posted (edited)

This is a response to Ken's submission post on Lori's blog that has left me :shock:

Quote

 

Americas greatness was supported by the twin backbones of strong marriages, and strong churches. Both are imperiled by the refusal of women to be in subjection to their husbands, and the pastors are woefully negligent about laying out Gods order.

Islam teaches the women’s place in marriage BETTER than American Christians, and Islam’s role for women is barbaric and imhumane. But, because they EXPECT it, they get submission. Islam demonstrates when the men of a society are united in expectations for women, they usually get what they want. Problem is, modern American men are lazy and lascivious, and are often too weak or ignorant to demand the place in the universe that God designed for them. Be that as it may, the role of men and women in society has never changed from the time of Creation and it never will.

 

And it's been sitting there, unanswered by either Ken or Lori, since 12:54 pm today. :GRONDE:

Edited by Loveday
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Depressed
feministxtian
29 minutes ago, Briefly said:

Even when we were attempting fundy, Mr. Briefly knew better than to try something like that!

Although if I'm helping him with something in our businesses that I'm not adept at, he may have to tell me how to do something - once, and I'm talking like showing me a specific way he needed something done mechanically.  I have also had to tell him how to do something, such as when he was sewing quilts for his mom and stepmom.  But I don't think that is quite what Lori means.

We have the same sort of thing here. I mean, if there's something I don't know how to do and he does, then by all means, yes! tell me how to do it. Goes the other way too. Beyond that, I've been known to leave "honey-do" lists when I was working full time and he wasn't. Now, he MIGHT ask me to do something (well, not w/bruised ribs and an ankle the size of a softball) and yes, I'll do it if it fits into my plans for the day. Beyond that, you're out of your friggin' mind. Especially now that it's getting hotter, I won't leave the house unless I absolutely HAVE to...the secret will be early morning/late evening going out. I'm too scared of getting overheated/heat stroke to go out in the middle of the day when it's hot. 

No, I'm not paranoid, I don't sweat like "normal" people...I overheat and roll into heat exhaustion/stroke in a minute. Maybe this year won't be so bad with the heavy duty a/c and tinted windows in my new truck...I even have a/c for the seats so I can cool my behind off too. I leave my house with one cold and one frozen bottle of water from May to late September. 

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Unimpressed
delphinium65
41 minutes ago, Loveday said:

This is a response to Ken's submission post on Lori's blog that has left me :shock:

And it's been sitting there, unanswered by either Ken or Lori, since 12:54 pm today. :GRONDE:

On the blog?  Then the fact that Lori let it through her filter is enough, and she allowed it to remain. Hey, she's the one who bragged about deleting, right? 

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Lgirlrocks

There is a lot here. Lori has a huge lack of Will to do anything. Lori couldn’t be a successful stay at home mom. She couldn’t home school her kids or even stand to be with them. So of course she can’t understand working and raising a family.DE8863F2-E2F5-44D9-9F38-6B4A500C8B73.thumb.png.8abc15c3d155d094b9fe94d445d80c3a.png

Spoiler

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Everyone is attacking the women without knowing her story. Very godly. People are human and make mistakes. She could have had premarital sex before she was saved. She could have had it while saved. Her child’s father could have died or left her. If I could comment I would tell them how unchristian they are being. 

Spoiler

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Spoiler

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Instead of quoting the problems she is having Kenneth could have offered some advice or help. A true Christian wouldn’t cast judgement on this women. 

Lori, the godly older women, has no real clue on how to mentor anyone. 

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Free Jana Duggar
4 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Honestly, submitting to leadership doesn't sound *so* bad to me. Sometimes people are attracted to ambitious, goal-oriented spouses just for that reason. I could actually see how it would lead to less contention in marriage, if that's what you want to do. Some people really do want to avoid conflict and confrontation that way. 

However, and I think someone pointed this out on the blog today, but Lori shot her down, is directing someone to make a sandwich, pick up your socks, clean your nose hairs off the sink, suck your d*ick, etc really leadership??? Or is it just making petty commands?

I would think leadership would be more along the lines of:

- We should/or shouldn't adopt this tradition in our family

- We should/ or shouldn't move to a bigger/smaller house, different town/state, etc. 

- We should/shouldn't get a pet

- We should switch to this church/gym/soccer league

- We should start doing x, y, z daily 

You know, things that actually LEAD your family in a positive, goal-oriented, spiritual or whatever direction! And notice it's a *we* thing . . . 

I mean, now that I've written this, it still sounds dumb, but not as bat-shit destructive as Lori's POV. 

 

Yeah, that's kind if how my husband and I work.  He really only gets involved in big decisions, and I will defer to his wishes. He just asked me to send the tax refund to the credit card. Things like that are not a problem.

He would never try to dictate my schedule (and he sure would never write one out for me) or tell me when I could go somewhere or what clothes to wear.

I think the only time I had a problem in the submission area was when he grounded one of the kids for longer than I thought necessary, but I backed him up and told her, "Your father said...". I did that more because I think parents need to be a united front with the kids (not because of submission).

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livinglongerthanyou

I really laughed so hard at Lori's video of "peeling" an egg because she demonstrated she has no fucking idea how to cook anything beyond what a kindergarten child could do. No wonder Ken cooked his own meals.

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wallysmommy

That's why she brags on her tombstone bread. The woman cannot cook a real meal.

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Petronella
10 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

If your sexual kink is to be naked and kneeling as the headship walks in - go for it.   If your sexual kink is to have to ask permission to pee and eat and serve the penis holder on your hands and knees  - why not?   I recently talked to a micro managed slave whose Dom just passed. She ended up in the hospital because no one told her she could eat or pee or bathe.  It does get that far.    It is just fine if it is a consensual kink.

Whoa. That sounds awful and seems to go way beyond someone harmlessly liking what they like. Doesn’t sound “just fine” at all...

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Petronella

 

8 hours ago, Loveday said:

Problem is, modern American men are lazy and lascivious, and are often too weak or ignorant to demand the place in the universe that God designed for them. Be that as it may, the role of men and women in society has never changed from the time of Creation and it never will.

 

(From a Lori commenter)

So...being able to take care of yourself is **lazy**? Not demanding the servitude of others is **lazy**??? This person and I understand the dictionary definition of “lazy” very differently.

7 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Yeah, that's kind if how my husband and I work.  He really only gets involved in big decisions, and I will defer to his wishes. He just asked me to send the tax refund to the credit card. Things like that are not a problem.

He would never try to dictate my schedule (and he sure would never write one out for me) or tell me when I could go somewhere or what clothes to wear.

I think the only time I had a problem in the submission area was when he grounded one of the kids for longer than I thought necessary, but I backed him up and told her, "Your father said...". I did that more because I think parents need to be a united front with the kids (not because of submission).

I find even that mystifying. I do understand there being spheres that spouses specialize in—for example, I look after our taxes, while my husband looks after our utilities and car. When I defer to him about solar panels, or he defers to me on some charitable gift, it’s not submission; it’s just respecting that that person has done the research and not wanting to duplicate the effort. (Though we certainly may ask about the research and suggest alternatives to be discussed if something seems to warrant it.)

If a couple’s skillsets happen to fall into gender norms, where she manages kids/food/house and he manages finances/yard/car, that seems totally fine. It only gets weird when they tell others they have no choice (or even, really, tell themselves they have no choice).

Submission—even the seemingly comfortable submission you describe—still seems deeply problematic to me. Big decisions being dictated rather than agreed upon, and one spouse having no sphere in which they have authority (you describe that his desires override yours even in parenting), does not look good.

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Waffle Time
Hane

@Petronella, I agree with you. It can be dangerous to leave major decisions up to one’s spouse 100%, without regular consultation. My cousin’s husband was a self-employed CPA, and handled their family finances. She was his unpaid admin assistant, but he clearly kept crucial information from her. He was found to have embezzled the funds of an elderly woman for whom he was conservator. He was also treasurer of the choral group she was a member of, and also their church. When she learned he’d played fast and loose with the choral group’s funds, she got worried about her church and went to the cops. It turned out he’d embezzled the church’s entire endowment. He wound up behind bars, and she wound up divorced at age 60, broke and having to get her first job in decades.

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louisa05

Today's blog post is the thing that a friend of mine repeated all the time when she was in an abusive relationship: "If I could be better and love him enough, he wouldn't have to be this way". He taught her that. He constantly told her that he got angry and hurt her because she wasn't loving him enough and wasn't good enough. 

But go ahead and tell women that that is true, Lori. That's helpful. That will keep them there. And maybe you'll succeed so well that they won't leave when he starts threatening them with weapons like my friend did. Maybe you'll succeed in getting a few of them killed. But they'll be with Jesus or some such nonsense, right? You'll find a way to count it as a success. Because being murdered is better than getting divorced and--the horror--possibly having to get a job to support yourself. 

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Lgirlrocks

Before it’s gone. Sadly this one won’t be up long. 4D99BF0D-2E47-404D-AF35-3E13B0C5DCAA.thumb.jpeg.9a3e0fdb957560ccf97fc139f46e31e1.jpeg

Lori quit before someone gets hurt from your advice or worse killed. We all know if ken ever hit you or treated you like you treat him you would be gone. No giving it to god. God doesn’t want anyone to be a martyr for him by being killed from domestic abuse. 

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wallysmommy

The no marital rape thing gets to me too, even though I've never been married.  I heard about a case where a woman came into the ER bleeding 3 weeks after having her baby because her husband demanded sex.  She brought the only cell phone they had with her.  He called the ER and yelled at the nurse because he needed the cell phone, and they had better let him talk to her NOW!  Lori is really good at being an ostrich with her head in the sand and talking out of her ass.

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Koala

Let's not forget that Lori herself is guilty of domestic violence (I have screenshots of her admitting that she hit Ken).  Because of that, NO ONE should be taking her advice on this matter.  

 

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Waffle Time
Lisafer
18 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

Yes.   That is what a lot of this is.   Everyone just wants to wave God in front of it.  A LOT of it is kink.  I write dirty books for a living and have researched a lot.    If your sexual kink is to be naked and kneeling as the headship walks in - go for it.   If your sexual kink is to have to ask permission to pee and eat and serve the penis holder on your hands and knees  - why not?   I recently talked to a micro managed slave whose Dom just passed. She ended up in the hospital because no one told her she could eat or pee or bathe.  It does get that far.    It is just fine if it is a consensual kink.  Lori and Ken are into Taken In Hand lifestyle - Do what he says or get spanked.  She does love a good spanking.   Hers, kids, whatever  - it's a sexual kink.  She just primly won't ever admit that.  (and I think she is a brat/switch because while she likes a good spanking now and then, she is also not going to let him dictate things like decent food on the table).   Whatever.  They can blame God all they want. I don't believe it for a minute.  

Terribly excited over here to find someone who writes dirty books for a living! I thought perhaps I was the lone erotica writer on FJ! 

(Not at all the point of your post, but I had to squee for a minute anyway!)

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Lgirlrocks

Lori it’s this kind of shit that gets people killed. People in abusive relationships tend to not know just how bad it is. The scripture is refusing to a women married to a non believer not someone who is abusive. 7975AEDD-76F5-4471-81B6-011B09C0177F.thumb.png.427dddd7c6ecf425335b808306b3ec67.png

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feministxtian

"Big" decisions should be made mutually and discussed to death FIRST. Pros and cons, effect on family, etc. should be discussed until both parties are comfortable with whatever decision you're trying to make. We've made a few of these, and they all were discussed to death before a decision was made. Do y'all remember the saga of us looking for a new apartment? We visited 10+ complexes, discussed the pros and cons of each one and finally made a decision. It took over a month to come to the decision. Shit, deciding to buy a car was easier. 

We have other problems but unilateral "final" decisions aren't one of them. 

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delphinium65

Lori claims that 'Personally, I would never counsel a woman in this situation to stay with her husband and I don’t think many would,' but what else could possibly be the point of passing on the story in today's blog post?  Telling her readers that 'Maybe she read and studied 1 Peter 2 and knew that as Christ had suffered for her, she was willing to suffer for Christ,' and 'Yes, love and kindness can win even the worst of men, and we must NEVER down play the powerful influence that praying to a Living God may have; for He hears our prayers'?  She's holding an abused woman who stayed as an example, after starting off with a quote that says 'Suffering may be an unpopular way to know Christ. But many saints who have suffered the most will be the first to say that having God near was worth every tear.'  She may not be telling a specific woman that she must say, but she's certainly implying that a woman who 'loves God' will stay and win her husband 'without a word.'  I think Lori is quite aware that women can get killed in such circumstances, and for whatever reason is in her stupid head she doesn't give a damn.  Maybe she gets off on the thought of women suffering and dying, I dunno, but I do know that no woman should EVER take her advice.  

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Depressed
feministxtian
3 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Maybe she gets off on the thought of women suffering and dying, I dunno, but I do know that no woman should EVER take her advice.  

Lori gets off on pain. specifically inflicting pain on others. She enjoys it, it's her kink. For some reason, Lori hates women. It's so obvious and has been for years. The more women who get hurt/killed for being "godly" the more she gets off on it. 

I can't stand it anymore...I want to grab her bony shoulders and shake her until her teeth rattle, then grab her idiotic husband and ask him what the fuck is WRONG with both of them. 

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SuperNova
23 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

There are over the counter UTI test strips available.  (about 3 for $10 - which is less than my co-pay for an md visit).  They work like an at-home pregnancy test.  My insurance allows me to call in a doctor on call if I get a positive and calls in the antibiotics without a co-pay.  Then I test again at the end of the antibiotics and if I still have symptoms or test positive, I go into the doctor's office.

I know I'm a little late to the UTI convo but I wanted to add my two cents. UTI test strips are only checking for the presence of white blood cells NOT infection. I had a situation with a doctor who kept prescribing antibiotics because my test strips kept coming back positive. Eventually I had a urine culture that had to be done at a lab and took several days. I had zero sign of infection except the white blood cells. After seeing a specialist it was found that I have interstitial cystitis. It basically feels like a bladder infection that doesn't go away. The crazy thing is because IC is an irritation (and sometimes ulcers!) of the bladder wall, anything acidic like cranberry can make it so much worse. It feels like pouring lemon juice on a cut. I wanted to mention this yesterday but I was having a bad flare up of IC and the UTI talk was freaking me out a little. I'm always worried that I'll get a UTI, not be able to tell the difference, and end up with a kidney infection. I'm much better today and wanted to share.

Take care of yourself @Curious ! I'm glad you're on the mend.

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hollyfeller
3 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Today's blog post is the thing that a friend of mine repeated all the time when she was in an abusive relationship: "If I could be better and love him enough, he wouldn't have to be this way". He taught her that. He constantly told her that he got angry and hurt her because she wasn't loving him enough and wasn't good enough. 

I got out of an abusive marriage nearly 7 years ago now (no children).  I was constantly trying to please him to avoid his disapproval.  He didn't hit me or call me names (except for on rare occasions), but nothing I did was ever good enough.  I worked full time, cooked dinner every day, and took care of all of the household chores myself.  I slowly but surely became a total doormat who rushed to do things for him before he could get annoyed or angry.  I was constantly terrified.  He even had an affair and I eventually let it go because he was unwilling to apologize or work to rebuild my trust.  About two years later after his infidelity I finally realized that I didn't have to live like that.  Divorcing him was a nightmare and he called me every name in the book to scare me into staying.  But I had finally become strong enough to stand up for myself and leave.  I am SO much happier now, and I'm so glad that I was brave enough to save myself from my abuser.  I will never accept such poor treatment by anyone, ever again.

SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE!

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