Alyssa & John 3: Modesty Make-Up

[Mimosa]

It also seems, from the last picture she posted, that they are already on their way home. I certainly wouldn't want to schlep 3 kids on a plane ride to be there for such a short time. The family was so busy, they wouldn't have even gotten the chance to visit. 

From the perspective of the cult, it is interesting but I think convenience can trump even the cult-iest beliefs when small children are involved. I don't think it is in any way indicative of any sort of shift in beliefs. 

 

This is my first post after lurking here for years, I finally decided to take the plunge and jump in!

[lizzybee]

@Perrierwithlemon Until you said it, I never noticed it, but I for sure see Britney. Wow.

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, Mimosa said:

I certainly wouldn't want to schlep 3 kids on a plane ride to be there for such a short time. The family was so busy, they wouldn't have even gotten the chance to visit. 

We see these kids in photos, and they are standing still, happy and really adorable.

In real life, though, they are small children who poop at inconvenient times, scream when they can't have the green cup, put choking hazards in their mouths, try to bolt into the road, and melt down when they are off their schedule (or even if they're not). That's what most small kids do, every day.

On top of that, they are members of a huge family that already has many small kids. I hardly think they'll be missed.

I mean, who would miss them? Carlin? I doubt it. Evan? Even less likely. Kelly? She'd have no time for them. The younger Bates kids, like Jed and Jud? Doubtful, since they'll have a ton of other visiting relatives to play with. I suppose some out-of-towners who don't get to Florida often might've been hoping to see them. But that's about it. It's not like Zoey has formed a deep relationship with Kade and Everly and wants to catch up on the news, lol.

[AussieKrissy]

6 hours ago, Perrierwithlemon said:

 

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I know we’re trying to post less pictures here on the Bates threads, but I feel like Instagram stories are sometimes ok because they are temporary and not everyone may get the chance to see them. 

I think that Alyssa does look really pretty in this picture. With her hair and eye makeup she kinda reminds me of Britney Spears. 

I also thought it was very vain glory of her to repost it on her own Instagram. look at me look at me I’m hot and my husband thinks so. Sooooo modest. I was coming here to post it too for that reason. 

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

I also thought it was very vain glory of her to repost it on her own Instagram. look at me look at me I’m hot and my husband thinks so. Sooooo modest. I was coming here to post it too for that reason. 

Was she dressing to draw attention to Christ in this pic?

[lizzybee]

If I looked that good in a photo, you better believe I’d be sharing it. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 hours ago, Perrierwithlemon said:

 

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I know we’re trying to post less pictures here on the Bates threads, but I feel like Instagram stories are sometimes ok because they are temporary and not everyone may get the chance to see them. 

I think that Alyssa does look really pretty in this picture. With her hair and eye makeup she kinda reminds me of Britney Spears. 

This is not a scrapbook of Bates pics where fans can collect pics others might not have seen because someone looks pretty.

If you want a repository for that stuff you can make one of your own ...that's not what FJ is for.  

[Perrierwithlemon]

35 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

This is not a scrapbook of Bates pics where fans can collect pics others might not have seen because someone looks pretty.

If you want a repository for that stuff you can make one of your own ...that's not what FJ is for.  

I'm so sorry. I truly did not intend to be an annoying scrapbooker or anything of that sort. I won't do that again -- I promise. Also, I just now spent some time reviewing the FJ "welcome new members" section so I could get a better grasp of what good FJ culture looks like, and I have set stronger guidelines for my future posts. 

To everyone else... I previously said that I thought it was ok to post Instagram story pictures on the basis of them being temporary, but I no longer stand by that statement. As I was reading this thread, this statement by @happy atheist stood out to me: "We exist to discuss the damage caused by fundamentalists." The picture I posted of Alyssa did not have anything to do with "the damage caused by fundamentalists." It was quite the opposite and hardly even relevant to the discussion here.

I know that this post also detracts from what FJ and this thread is here for, but I just wanted to give an informative reminder in light of that statement I just quoted. I think with the Carlin's wedding and everything, I lost sight of why I joined Free Jinger in the first place. ❤️ (Also, sorry this turned out to be so long. I just had a lot I needed to get out of my mind so my mistake wouldn't keep me up at night.) 

[just_ordinary]

16 hours ago, BrandoBarks said:

Personally, I prefer to go to a wedding without my children and I always try to leave them with my mother or neighbor. Usually weddings for kids are boring and they don’t like to sit still during the ceremony and reception. Also, I like to have some kid-free fun from time to time, have a drink or two and celebrate the couple without having to chase a toddler or nursing a baby. My Italian family thinks it’s strange that we leave them but to each their own ?

I don’t see the problem with children at a wedding. Yes, 1h church will be stressful but what is the problem with having them roam around at the reception? I mean, if you don’t want to bring them that’s fine but in my experience- if lots of family is there, there is always someone happily offering to entertain/watch them and tell them STOP/NO if needed for some time till next one takes over. Probably different if your at the wedding of friends. It also depends a lot on culture. From my experience in many countries people are much more relaxed about the noise and action that comes with children. They are everywhere and people are used to it/don’t notice them that much. Sadly, my country is different. The less you are exposed to them, the more annoyed you get by them (especially if they are not your own).

I am not surprised at all at the reaction of your Italien family. It’s always so nice being in Italy and seeing how relaxed they are. Taking your child out with you to lunch or dinner is just normal. I was in Rome shortly before I got pregnant and it was a nice reminder that you can still go out with friends for dinner and have a nice glass of wine. The child is just there with you.

But it’s also ok to leave your child at home or stay at home waiting till it’s your  turn again. You do you. The only important thing is that you are happy with your choice.

[AussieKrissy]

7 hours ago, Hisey said:

Was she dressing to draw attention to Christ in this pic?

You win the net for me tonight. 

Exposing the hypocrisy of the fundies for the win. 

[nelliebelle1197]

16 hours ago, Perrierwithlemon said:

 

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I know we’re trying to post less pictures here on the Bates threads, but I feel like Instagram stories are sometimes ok because they are temporary and not everyone may get the chance to see them. 

I think that Alyssa does look really pretty in this picture. With her hair and eye makeup she kinda reminds me of Britney Spears. 

That picture breaks my heart. That is what a normal person Alyssa’s age should look like, not the 35 year old mother of three she usually presents.

8 hours ago, Hisey said:

Was she dressing to draw attention to Christ in this pic?

The rended knees of her jeans?

Edited May 27, 2019 by nelliebelle1197

[Charliemae]

Kids at wedding

It's down right weird that they didn't bring their kids.  Simply because it's so "off brand".  I'm as shocked at them being okay with a kid free wedding as I am about the dancing. It's weird for a Bates. I'll be surprised if their isn't passive aggressive push back... I'm waiting for the Jill Rod video about having holy Christan weddings and family. ? 

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

That picture breaks my heart. That is what a normal person Alyssa’s age should look like, not the 35 year old mother of three she usually presents.

The rended knees of her jeans?

That pic just smacks of trying so hard to not try hArd. 

She just hit Carlin level of narcissism for me. 

But yes, I do forget she is only 23 and I would normally cut 23 yr olds more slack.  And think ahhh you’re only young and beautiful once....

You’re right she normally acts middle age...’

[Palimpsest]

7 hours ago, Perrierwithlemon said:

 I lost sight of why I joined Free Jinger in the first place. ❤️ (Also, sorry this turned out to be so long. I just had a lot I needed to get out of my mind so my mistake wouldn't keep me up at night.) 

Many thanks for taking the time to review the "Welcome New Members" and "Guidelines" sections, and getting back on track.  I wish more people would do that.  But FTR, a minor boo-boo on an internet forum (even on FJ ) shouldn't keep anyone up at night. 

13 hours ago, Hisey said:

On top of that, they are members of a huge family that already has many small kids. I hardly think they'll be missed.

Quite.  And these IBLP families practice "leave and cleave."  They are Websters now.

I'm surprised by this kerfuffle over Alyssa and Whatsit Webster leaving the children at home, even for a wedding.  It's not like they haven't left them before.  "Date Night" is sacrosanct for Fundie married couples and there are plenty of Websters around to look after the girls.

I fully expect that the Webster sprogs will be decorating Mama and Dad's bedroom with hearts and flowers for their wedding anniversary night fuckfest when they are a little older.   Just like the virginal Batesesses did for Gil and Kelly.  That still squicks me out.

Edited May 27, 2019 by Palimpsest

[Oh_Dear!]

Have there been any pictures of Bradley and Kaci from the wedding? Or the Paine kids? Or Kade? Or the Stewart grandkids?  Seems to me like all grandkids were missing. While completely off-brand,  I just assumed it was because every sister was in the wedding party and everyone who could keep an eye on the babies was busy. I’m specifically referring to Michael. That girl doesn’t pass up opportunities to take and post every single niece/nephew pic she can get. 

[llucie]

20 minutes ago, Oh_Dear! said:

Have there been any pictures of Bradley and Kaci from the wedding? Or the Paine kids? Or Kade? Or the Stewart grandkids?  Seems to me like all grandkids were missing. While completely off-brand,  I just assumed it was because every sister was in the wedding party and everyone who could keep an eye on the babies was busy. I’m specifically referring to Michael. That girl doesn’t pass up opportunities to take and post every single niece/nephew pic she can get. 

Yes, Kade was with Tori and Bobby in the congrats video uptv uploaded from the wedding. But she is probably still breastfeeding so maybe an exception. The older Stewart girls were also there you can see them in the family picture (their younger sisters were flower girls). The Stewart male cousins were there too, at least at the hotel, his father uploaded instastories with them.

Edited May 27, 2019 by llucie
.

[takers401]

With both John and Alyssa in the wedding I assume they'd be unavailable to watch their kids pretty much the entire wedding day. I have a hard time finding babysitters for my three kids for a few hours. Finding one for all day when the majority of siblings are also busy (assuming in-laws watched the other siblings' kids) might have fallen into the too crazy category. 

[Hisey]

13 hours ago, lizzybee said:

If I looked that good in a photo, you better believe I’d be sharing it. 

The question is, will she let Allie dress that way in 8 years? Will she post pictures of Allie looking like that?

Because I've noticed that in the fundie circles of my own acquaintance. The little girls are dressed up like dolls, but at 12 or so, it is all shut down and people are paying attention to whether the buttons on their skirt are too colorful

[Hisey]

6 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Yes, 1h church will be stressful but what is the problem with having them roam around at the reception?

People love toddlers in this country. There's a huge industry devoted to supplying doting relatives with gifts and clothes for toddlers. 

However, a toddler could get hurt in a hundred different ways roaming about alone at a reception. It's unwise and unsafe.

I want to have fun at a party as much as the next person. However, if I had a toddler, I wouldn't just tell her to "go play" in a darkened room filled with adults drinking and dancing, hot food being served, etc. (I know the Bates don't drink). It's irresponsible and lazy. I can't assume that everyone at the party is going to "do my job" for me, and stop the baby just before she hurts herself. And what if the kid poops? She'll just wander around with a dirty diaper?

I just read a story about a little 22 month old boy who left his home, wandered into the woods and was lost for 3 days alone (but survived!). Kids this age need to be watched all the time. That's how you really show that you love toddlers. You put in the time for 2-3 years and take care of them till they gain some sense.

[nelliebelle1197]

5 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Many thanks for taking the time to review the "Welcome New Members" and "Guidelines" sections, and getting back on track.  I wish more people would do that.  But FTR, a minor boo-boo on an internet forum (even on FJ ) shouldn't keep anyone up at night. 

Quite.  And these IBLP families practice "leave and cleave."  They are Websters now.

I'm surprised by this kerfuffle over Alyssa and Whatsit Webster leaving the children at home, even for a wedding.  It's not like they haven't left them before.  "Date Night" is sacrosanct for Fundie married couples and there are plenty of Websters around to look after the girls.

I fully expect that the Webster sprogs will be decorating Mama and Dad's bedroom with hearts and flowers for their wedding anniversary night fuckfest when they are a little older.   Just like the virginal Batesesses did for Gil and Kelly.  That still squicks me out.

I still prefer to think Taliban Dan forbade the baby Webs from witnessing the evil of the Father-Daughter Dance.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

33 minutes ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

I really think the pile-on and hand-wringing about FJ becoming a forum for Bates and Duggar fandom or a "scrapbook" of pretty pictures could really take a rest.

Then perhaps you'd like to fucking moderate it?  And worry about the massive amounts of data and pics every time we upgrade because "OMG look how cute they are."

And perhaps pay something toward the bandwidth when every. single. pic gets reposted here.  

Seriously - we have rules spelled out from the welcome letter to guidelines and if you don't like it you are not compelled to read here OR you could take it to community discussion where it belongs.

If you would like to discuss the rules of FJ and how it's being moderated please do so in Community Discussion where we will be happy to discuss whatever issues people have.  

 

Edited May 27, 2019 by HerNameIsBuffy
I shouldn't have used that word. I stand behind my statement, but I should have been more civil in making it

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I moved this post to CD so it can be discussed in the appropriate place.

 

[Carm_88]

As a child who went to a lot of weddings, I wish that my parents had left me home! It was too long for me as a kid, hell I get twitchy now when speeches go too long. I never blame parents for not wanting to keep an eye on their kids at weddings, there are often lots of people, lots of places for kids to hide beneath tables, and lots of trouble that they can get into. Like the kid at my cousin's wedding who though that the wine was juice and went from table to table drinking the juice. (The days of prepoured strawberry wine, at every place setting!) She got drunk and then got quite sick, and the whole family had to leave. 

[BlessaYourHeart]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

As a child who went to a lot of weddings, I wish that my parents had left me home! It was too long for me as a kid, hell I get twitchy now when speeches go too long. I never blame parents for not wanting to keep an eye on their kids at weddings, there are often lots of people, lots of places for kids to hide beneath tables, and lots of trouble that they can get into. Like the kid at my cousin's wedding who though that the wine was juice and went from table to table drinking the juice. (The days of prepoured strawberry wine, at every place setting!) She got drunk and then got quite sick, and the whole family had to leave. 

I was once that child at a family wedding ?. Safe to say my mother kept me close at future weddings lol 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

She got drunk and then got quite sick, and the whole family had to leave. 

Anyone else thinking of Diana in Anne of Green Gables who greedily knocked back Marissa's "cordial" and got pissed as a newt?  Poor Anne got the blame.