Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
samurai_sarah

Duggars by the Dozen 37: Your new thread

Recommended Posts

Depressed
tabitha2

Jessa and the main family for sure.Maybe Joshanna for a treat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
QuiverFullofBooks

I don’t think this has been discussed. On Jill’s March photos blog post, there were a few pictures of the boys “feeding the calf at Grandma and Grandpa’s.” Have the Duggars expanded into livestock? Is this news to us?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
grandmadugger
20 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I don’t think this has been discussed. On Jill’s March photos blog post, there were a few pictures of the boys “feeding the calf at Grandma and Grandpa’s.” Have the Duggars expanded into livestock? Is this news to us?

I was wondering the same thing but figured it came out while I was on hiatus. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lizzybee

@Kelsey probably me. 😂 I can feel my husband deep sighing as I type this.

17 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I don’t think this has been discussed. On Jill’s March photos blog post, there were a few pictures of the boys “feeding the calf at Grandma and Grandpa’s.” Have the Duggars expanded into livestock? Is this news to us?

I don't think it's news. I believe JD has cows. Way back when they went on that skiing trip and they were grilling, there was some mention of the beef being from his cows. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Depressed
feministxtian
9 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

 

   On 11/30/2018 at 12:43 PM,  TeaELSee said: 

I would LOVE to be a Grandma. My daughter in law is uncertain if she wants kids, My recommendation was do not have children unless YOU want them.  I really wanted so say, oh you’ll love it go ahead!  I shut down my selfish side.

 

Read more  

Update: My stepson and his wife are expecting!  

I’m super excited, I no longer have to count on my offspring!

———————————-

Update, it’s a girl and she’s here and healthy! 

CONGRATULATIONS GRANDMA!!!!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
grandmadugger
9 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

 

   On 11/30/2018 at 12:43 PM,  TeaELSee said: 

I would LOVE to be a Grandma. My daughter in law is uncertain if she wants kids, My recommendation was do not have children unless YOU want them.  I really wanted so say, oh you’ll love it go ahead!  I shut down my selfish side.

 

Read more  

Update: My stepson and his wife are expecting!  

I’m super excited, I no longer have to count on my offspring!

———————————-

Update, it’s a girl and she’s here and healthy! 

Welcome to the grandma club!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy
TatiFish9
20 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

———————————-

Update, it’s a girl and she’s here and healthy! 

Congratulations! This is wonderful news.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TeaELSee

Thanks everyone, we are super excited. ok I’ve hijacked this thread long enough!  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Satisfied
HerNameIsBuffy
14 minutes ago, TeaELSee said:

Thanks everyone, we are super excited. ok I’ve hijacked this thread long enough!  

It’s not hijacking ...just flooding the thread with happiness!

  • Upvote 18
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Longhairedheathen

Any former fundies slightly nostalgic their former lives because of social media? 

Their lives look so stinking easy. Having babies, wearing pretty dresses, having a build in social network of like minded people and openly practicing their religion.

I understand this is the false image of social media and you don't see the systematic brainwashing, attempts of eradication of cultures that aren't fundie and oppression. Not to mention the physical, emotional and financial abuse. 

I just miss it ever so slightly. 

  

  • Upvote 6
  • I Agree 1
  • Love 22

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sullie06
15 hours ago, Longhairedheathen said:

Any former fundies slightly nostalgic their former lives because of social media? 

Their lives look so stinking easy. Having babies, wearing pretty dresses, having a build in social network of like minded people and openly practicing their religion.

I understand this is the false image of social media and you don't see the systematic brainwashing, attempts of eradication of cultures that aren't fundie and oppression. Not to mention the physical, emotional and financial abuse. 

I just miss it ever so slightly. 

  

I'm not a former fundie but I sometimes am jealous of their ability to just have kids with no concern. I wanted 4 kids but after having 2 and being a responsible adult and having to support those kids plus coupled with some medical issues during my last pregnancy I made the hard decision, with my husband, to stop after 2. I still wish at times we could have thrown caution to the wind and just had all the babies (up to 4) but that wasn't logical for our lifestyle. 

  • Upvote 10
  • I Agree 3
  • Love 14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kailash
16 hours ago, Longhairedheathen said:

Any former fundies slightly nostalgic their former lives because of social media? 

Their lives look so stinking easy. Having babies, wearing pretty dresses, having a build in social network of like minded people and openly practicing their religion.

I understand this is the false image of social media and you don't see the systematic brainwashing, attempts of eradication of cultures that aren't fundie and oppression. Not to mention the physical, emotional and financial abuse. 

I just miss it ever so slightly. 

  

No, I don’t miss it. The longer I’m away the more thankful I am that I left. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fellowunfundie
19 hours ago, Longhairedheathen said:

Any former fundies slightly nostalgic their former lives because of social media? 

Their lives look so stinking easy. Having babies, wearing pretty dresses, having a build in social network of like minded people and openly practicing their religion.

I understand this is the false image of social media and you don't see the systematic brainwashing, attempts of eradication of cultures that aren't fundie and oppression. Not to mention the physical, emotional and financial abuse. 

I just miss it ever so slightly. 

  

Newly married and dealing with the frustrations of starting a career/pursuing higher education, I do miss the simplicity of what I thought my adult life would be like as a child.  Add this to the fact that my family is still fundie-lite, and that I am missing the "fellowship of like-minded believers" with them, and I can't help but pine for the simple life of living back home in the country, married, keeping my home, probably with a baby on the way. 

But then I remind myself that I wouldn't be able to do the things I'm doing and be the person I am if I had stayed. 

It's a tough internal battle. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wine time!
allthegoodnamesrgone
19 hours ago, Longhairedheathen said:

Any former fundies slightly nostalgic their former lives because of social media? 

Their lives look so stinking easy. Having babies, wearing pretty dresses, having a build in social network of like minded people and openly practicing their religion.

I understand this is the false image of social media and you don't see the systematic brainwashing, attempts of eradication of cultures that aren't fundie and oppression. Not to mention the physical, emotional and financial abuse. 

I just miss it ever so slightly. 

I was never full on fundie, but I played in Fundy/fundy lite circles, and there were/are times I miss the simplicity of leaving all work and financial stress up to my headship, there were times I wish(ed) I could let my mind go blank and just exist in the children and being a mom and housewife and not worrying about things outside of my own yard.  But I've never been wired to just do as I'm told, I've always been a "troublemaker" asking too many questions and wanting more than just what is in front of me, education wise, knowledge wise, dealing with others, I could never been content as an empty headed fundy like Kendra seems to be. 

So yeah I like you miss the surface simplicity of that lifestyle, but could never live it for more than an afternoon or I would go stark raving mad. 

  • Upvote 5
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nervous
Daisy0322
19 hours ago, Longhairedheathen said:

Any former fundies slightly nostalgic their former lives because of social media? 

Their lives look so stinking easy. Having babies, wearing pretty dresses, having a build in social network of like minded people and openly practicing their religion.

I understand this is the false image of social media and you don't see the systematic brainwashing, attempts of eradication of cultures that aren't fundie and oppression. Not to mention the physical, emotional and financial abuse. 

I just miss it ever so slightly. 

  

I think that it's a common feeling even for people who don't have that background and I think it's why they are "famous". 

They do make it look glamorous in a way and they do protray a certain effortlessness in life. I think it brings people back to a simpler time in a way. However we don't see the down sides because they don't even let themselves see them. They block out their fears, emotions, goals for what they think is Godly. Also we are seeing the successful type fundies on tv and in social media more than the ones who are struggling to feed their 8 kids and have one more on the way. 

  • Upvote 13
  • I Agree 4
  • Love 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BachelorToTheRapture

I often think of how much simpler my life would be if I followed my (fundie catholic, essentially) parents' wishes for me. I would have gotten married earlier, started having kids, and quit working for many years while the kids grew up. They'd also likely expect me to go back to work at some point. It would be easier than feeling that I'm disappointing them by not having babies and people I see who continued in that lifestyle have such a built in group of friends/peers, which I sometimes envy. I then look at all the wonderful things my life has that I would be missing if I was in that lifestyle and I know that not being in it is best for many reasons (mostly independence and making my own choices), but it is hard sometimes forging my own path rather than following what my parents wanted for me/what I wanted as a child

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy
TatiFish9

@BachelorToTheRapture hang in there! I have gone through similar feelings when life got too hard or didn't  pan out in ways I expected. It is a natural part of emotional growth. Your psyche is trying to expand beyond its origins. Every now and again there will be snap back. Just remember why you left. Keep that memory close when you feel like you may have made a mistake.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
VelociRapture
2 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

I think that it's a common feeling even for people who don't have that background and I think it's why they are "famous". 

They do make it look glamorous in a way and they do protray a certain effortlessness in life. I think it brings people back to a simpler time in a way. However we don't see the down sides because they don't even let themselves see them. They block out their fears, emotions, goals for what they think is Godly. Also we are seeing the successful type fundies on tv and in social media more than the ones who are struggling to feed their 8 kids and have one more on the way. 

I don’t have a Fundie background either, but I do agree with this. It’s very easy to get sucked in by the simplicity of life and happiness they all seem to have living this way. That’s why I think it’s so important that the Helpmeets have been trying to crack down on sharing photos from these people on here. It’s easier to stay aware of the evil, dangerous, and sad beliefs they have when we aren’t constantly scrolling through post after post showing them looking happy and perfectly normal. 

To anyone recovering from a Fundie lifestyle, no matter where you are on that journey - you have my love, my support, and my respect. It is a difficult thing to break away from even a pretty mild religious experience (such as my experience with Catholicism - I still have moments of terror thinking I’ve damned my baby to Hell because she isn’t baptized. :doh:) I can only imagine how much more difficult it has to be when your experience with religion was far more intense. Try to remember that reality television and social media do not portray actual reality and that the choices you’ve made have hopefully led you towards a healthier lifestyle. :hug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Longhairedheathen
6 hours ago, Sullie06 said:

I'm not a former fundie but I sometimes am jealous of their ability to just have kids with no concern. I wanted 4 kids but after having 2 and being a responsible adult and having to support those kids plus coupled with some medical issues during my last pregnancy I made the hard decision, with my husband, to stop after 2. I still wish at times we could have thrown caution to the wind and just had all the babies (up to 4) but that wasn't logical for our lifestyle. 

 I am in the same boat.  I just got a raise at work so thankfully I can get off our states woman's medicaid but my doctor and I were talking about getting my tubes ties. 

In 10 years I'll have a 10 and 8 year old so I am not looking forward possibly having a huge gap in between the kids.  To me it feels like it should be a very logical choice but I just feel like I am not ready to make it so permanent. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WarriorJane
7 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

@BachelorToTheRapture hang in there! I have gone through similar feelings when life got too hard or didn't  pan out in ways I expected. It is a natural part of emotional growth. Your psyche is trying to expand beyond its origins. Every now and again there will be snap back. Just remember why you left. Keep that memory close when you feel like you may have made a mistake.  

I agree with this and just want to add that no matter who you are or what your life is like,  it's normal to wonder about the path not taken.   But that doesn't mean that the path not chosen  is any better or worse than the one you're on.   When I was SAHMing, I would often miss work and when I'm working I'm sometimes longing for domesticity.  You never really think about the stresses and the reality and the things you didn't like.  I think a balanced life where you have work, family,  social life, hobbies and interests is key.  I  think fundies are somewhat one-dimensional so that's what they portray as bliss.  So when TV fundies make their life look appealing, it's because they aren't showing the stress, non-stop work, boredom and fatigue that their lives really are. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SassyPants
10 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

I think that it's a common feeling even for people who don't have that background and I think it's why they are "famous". 

They do make it look glamorous in a way and they do protray a certain effortlessness in life. I think it brings people back to a simpler time in a way. However we don't see the down sides because they don't even let themselves see them. They block out their fears, emotions, goals for what they think is Godly. Also we are seeing the successful type fundies on tv and in social media more than the ones who are struggling to feed their 8 kids and have one more on the way. 

Also I think JB and M had some coping mechanisms, life experiences and skills that their kids just don’t have. JB and M did have to work a bit, practically go hungry and live like poor folks in cramped housing. I’m not sure their kids would be capable or willing to do the same. Josh was 17 and the twins 15, almost 16 when they moved to the big house. They had SIXTEEN KIDS before they moved to the TTH. Meanwhile Unemployed Derick and Jill are living in a 4 BEDROOM brand new build. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
HurricaneBells
Posted (edited)

I think its people like me that sometimes wish we had their lifestyle. I love my life and have done many wonderful things i would never trade but im also tired. Tired of being the breadwinner, tired of not being able to rely on others, tired of the demands of my employer, tired of being too tired to play with my son. Tired is something they never seem to be. So yes sometimes, i wish i could be young, pretty instead of stressed and grey and be able to stay home without being responsible for our lives,  just hand it all over (although i know i would get bored after a bit) I know the bad shit that goes with but i see whats appealing too and for me, that is the danger.

Edited by HurricaneBells
add a thought
  • Upvote 16
  • I Agree 5
  • Love 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
VelociRapture
8 hours ago, HurricaneBells said:

I think its people like me that sometimes wish we had their lifestyle. I love my life and have done many wonderful things i would never trade but im also tired. Tired of being the breadwinner, tired of not being able to rely on others, tired of the demands of my employer, tired of being too tired to play with my son. Tired is something they never seem to be. So yes sometimes, i wish i could be young, pretty instead of stressed and grey and be able to stay home without being responsible for our lives,  just hand it all over (although i know i would get bored after a bit) I know the bad shit that goes with but i see whats appealing too and for me, that is the danger.

Just keep in mind that social media is not reality and the members of these families clearly use their accounts to promote certain images. I personally find Erin Paine’s account a bit jarring because it’s simply so overwhelmingly positive with rainbows and sunshine all the time. It strikes me as extremely unrealistic in some ways, but that’s her “brand” at this point and that’s what people expect from her. Same with JinJer’s accounts, to a lesser extent. Their’s are so clearly and carefully curated to promote their “happy and normal Pastor family” that it comes across as fake to me. On the other hand, you have Jill who constantly makes mistakes and Jessa who both sometimes post weird or questionable stuff, but at least they come across as genuine to me in what they post (outside the advertising stuff.) 

I would bet my left hand that there are times they feel the exact same way you do - tired, stressed, upset, etc. Especially the ones who don’t live near or can’t rely on consistent help from family (like JinJer and the Dills, when they were in SCA.) It just doesn’t fit most of their “brands” to show that on a regular and consistent basis. And it certainly won’t draw more people to the cult if they come across as miserable or tired either. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×