Seewalds 39: Piping in on the IKEA conversation

[VelociRapture]

3 hours ago, is.it.real said:

The dishwasher, like the laundry machine, were technological innovations that change women’s lives. When the dishwasher become common women got more time. To work, to teach, to study. This video shows how the laundry machine changed everything.

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So I’m only 30, but I feel like I’m a great example of this. We didn’t have a dishwasher when our daughter was a baby and it was a miserable experience for me. If I wasn’t feeding her then I was washing dishes, bottles, bottle accessories, milk containers, and pump accessories* - my whole life pretty much revolved around that for a long time. My thyroid doesn’t like working and she was born in early December, so my hands were constantly cut up, bleeding, and aching from the constant dishwashing. For a while I felt well enough not to nap (probably due to adrenaline from just being excited she was home from NICU), but eventually that caught up to me and I started having to nap during some of her naps. My husband was awesome about doing his share of the work, but he works full-time and tax season started when our daughter was only 6 weeks old - there was only so much he was able to do. That meant I was pretty much on my own most of the week from mid-January through late-April. It was really really hard.

The only thing that helped was using paper plates and plastic cutlery because it cut down on the amount of dishes I had to wash. That and takeout, which we ate too much of that year. We don’t like doing that on a regular basis, but we had to do what was best for our family and my wellbeing at that point. We stopped doing that so often after the first few months when things began to settle a bit. We did eventually have our kitchen appliances replaced around the time our daughter turned one. After the first few loads of dishes my husband hugged me and told me how sorry he was that we didn’t replace it sooner because he saw just how much easier the dishwasher made my life. I’m not going to lie, it felt really good to hear him acknowledge how hard I had worked in that way. 

*She was on high calorie formula for prematurity and I was also attempting to breastfeed her at the same time. We never got the hang of nursing, so I switched to pumping. It got to be way too much stress for me and we opted to switch to just formula after her round of vaccinations at 3 months old - I really feel that was one of the best parenting choices we’ve personally made so far because our daughter thrived on the formula and I was so much calmer and happier not constantly cleaning things and struggling to feed her. Breastfeeding can be really hard. 

[nst]

On 4/7/2019 at 7:21 PM, fluffernutter said:

 

i love my dishwasher more than my bathtub. 

 

 

[mpheels]

We always had a dishwasher when I was growing up, and I always had one in my apartment through early adulthood. When I move down to Boston on a postdoc salary as a 34 year old single women, I could only afford an impossibly small studio with no dishwasher. It was the first time in my life that I had to wash dishes by hand on a daily basis and it sucked. I eat all breakfasts and most dinners at home, and my weekday lunches are packed in reusable glass containers, so I had three meals worth of dishes to wash most days. When I get home from a long (and mentally exhausting) day at work, the last thing I want to do is wash dishes. As soon as I had a firm offer for a faculty position, I signed a lease for a one bedroom apartment with a dishwasher, and hired someone to clean every two weeks. I still have to tidy up a bit every day, but it takes 10 minutes at most, and is usually something I can do before work.

[VelociRapture]

Two questions:

Have we discussed this video Jessa posted last week and did I somehow miss it?

Is anyone else creeped out by the conversation or am I just weird?

(Its ok to tell me I’m just weird if this isn’t creepy to anyone else. Lol!)

[Iamtheway]

3 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Two questions:

Have we discussed this video Jessa posted last week and did I somehow miss it?

Is anyone else creeped out by the conversation or am I just weird?

(Its ok to tell me I’m just weird if this isn’t creepy to anyone else. Lol!)

No, you are definitly not weird, that is super, super creepy. 

[VelociRapture]

18 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

No, you are definitly not weird, that is super, super creepy. 

Oh good! Sometimes even more mild religious stuff creeps me out because it’s not something that’s a part of my life, so I wasn’t sure. I really don’t like how Ben is feeding him lines about theology here though. It’s just weird and creepy in a way I wouldn’t find it if they were discussing “Little Blue Truck” and how the lesson is be nice to others. I’m guessing it’s because they’re fundies - maybe in a less rigidly religious family it wouldn’t be as creepy to me because there’d be more room for debate or critical thought (also because maybe they wouldn’t be talking like this to a toddler.)

[SassyPants]

And please tell us, beyond your God speak, what do you and the Mrs do to glorify God? What are you doing besides carrying around a bible and referencing God? If you weren’t allowed to say the word God or carry a KJV would anyone really know that you live life for Him?

[JesSky03]

I'm a Christian and we will be raising our son as a Christian, but I too found that conversation a little creepy. I think his word choice and tone of voice are what make it creepy. He says it in a way that if Spurge had answered with anything else he would have told him he was wrong. But its obviously a loaded question because there is more than one correct way to answer the question (just not if you belong to a cult). It also felt like he was shaming Spruge a bit, like if Spurge isn't enjoying God all the time then he isn't being a "good" person or Christian. I'm totally okay with him giving answer that involves God but I think something more along the lines of "our purpose is to love God and each other" would have been more appropriate. 

[HereticHick]

I need to point out that many scientists and enviromentalists have shown that a fully loaded*, modern energy efficient dishwasher uses LESS water than the washing those same dishes by hand.

For example: https://www.cnet.com/how-to/how-much-water-do-dishwashers-use/

"It may be hard to believe, but a big electricity-using dishwasher is a greener choice than hand washing your dishes, if it is a newer model and you're washing full loads"

*in addition to only running full loads, you want to keep the pre-rinsing of the dishes to a minimum. In our house, our dog does her environmental duty by gleefully pre-washing the plates.  : )

Also, from NPR: https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2017/11/24/564055953/to-save-water-should-you-wash-your-hands-of-hand-washing-dishes

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

6 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Two questions:

Have we discussed this video Jessa posted last week and did I somehow miss it?

Is anyone else creeped out by the conversation or am I just weird?

(Its ok to tell me I’m just weird if this isn’t creepy to anyone else. Lol!)

No, totes creepy, cult stuff, even Spurge is like UH dude, I'm 3? 

To add the dishwasher, we always had one when I was a kid, every apartment I lived in(all 3 of them) had one, but our 1st home did not. So I spent the next 7 years of my life washing, baby bottles, nipples, breast pump parts sippy cups (the kind you had to take the rubber stopper out of to clean properly). and all the dishes that go with feeding a family of 4 by hand.  It wasn't until the littles were onto regular cups that we moved into a bigger house that had a dishwasher. I don't know how I did it, but I did. It honestly never seemed that bad, I guess I was in full mommy mode and just got shit done and didn't think about it because it had to be done, and the two adorable little creatures messing up every inch of our home  certainly weren't going to help me. 

[Satan'sFortress]

Every time I complain about having to do laundry, I pretty quickly remember how women over the ages---and so many women today, still---have had to devote so much of their time and strength to washing clothes and linens.  I am ashamed of myself and become very grateful for my washing machine.  My MIL grew up with a wringer washer, which sounds very scary and dangerous. I really am so fortunate.

 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Every time I complain about having to do laundry, I pretty quickly remember how women over the ages---and so many women today, still---have had to devote so much of their time and strength to washing clothes and linens.  I am ashamed of myself and become very grateful for my washing machine.  My MIL grew up with a wringer washer, which sounds very scary and dangerous. I really am so fortunate.

 

Right now I am in a more remote part of So America and  today we went for a drive. My oh my what I saw. All these folks do is cook, wash dishes, hand wash clothes and birth muchos ninos. There is little time left for anything else.

I keep thinking that thankfully, most know no other life.

[Smee]

I’m Christian and teaching my kids about faith, but I don’t think I’ve EVER asked my 7yr old “what is the purpose of life?” It’s a weird question and doesn’t make faith/God/Christianity at all relatable or relevant to a small child, just teaches them to parrot back what they’ve been told.

 

Is using disposable plates at home for everyday meals actually a thing that people do on a regular basis?? I can understand in extenuating circumstances (like disability, temporary water supply issues and others a couple of people in this thread have given) but just purely because it’s convenient? I don’t think I’ve ever come across someone who would do that, even my brother who drinks bottled water all day long in his bedroom instead of refilling a drink bottle. When we were without a dishwasher, it honestly never occurred to me to use disposable stuff. I washed by hand and loathed every minute of it. My dishwasher is my best friend. But paper/plastic/styrofoam plates and cups are 100% party, picnic or camping items to me.

[Bobology]

38 minutes ago, Smee said:

Is using disposable plates at home for everyday meals actually a thing that people do on a regular basis?

The Duggars and Honey Boo Boo's family... that's all I've seen. Do the Bates? I watch the show but I've never noticed. Otherwise I've seen it only at parties/special occasions whether they are at home or meeting rooms, and at rare times such as illnesses. 

[Glasgowghirl]

7 minutes ago, Bobology said:

The Duggars and Honey Boo Boo's family... that's all I've seen. Do the Bates? I watch the show but I've never noticed. Otherwise I've seen it only at parties/special occasions whether they are at home or meeting rooms, and at rare times such as illnesses. 

I didn't know it was an actual thing until Kail from TM2 was discussing it on twitter for her podcast and the amount of people that said that they exclusively used disposable plates and utensils, some even said that they didn't own normal plates was insane. 

I work for Taco Bell and hate the amount of cardboard and plastic containers we go through, we had reusable plastic baskets that customer's were meant to put on top of the bins next to the trays but they always ended up in the bin, so we don't use them anymore. Some customers also take a lot more of the napkins, straws, and condiments than they need then bin them. Working in Taco Bell and KFC before that opened my eyes to how wasteful both the customers and the fast food industry is as a whole.

[Baxter]

Using paper plates on a regular basis seems crazy. But definitely there are uses for them. When I was a week before my due date, our dishwasher started leaking and we couldn't use it until it was fixed. While I washed dishes before I had my son, I did buy some paper plates just in case I went into labor before it was fixed. 

My husband did find the part to fix it and was actually in the process of fixing it when my water broke. So when we had family over after coming home from the hospital, we used paper plates that first day home because it was just one less thing for us to deal with. But if that happened right now, I would just handwash dishes until it was fixed. 

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

My mom did this for a while. No excuse other than yeah, she was lazy and my sister was bad at washing dishes. So many arguments were had between me and her. If there is more than than my sister and my stepdad at home (so when we come to visit for example) out come the paper plates (and yes, it was Styrofoam until she had enough of my complaining there). This past visit I just flat out refused and washed every dish any of the four of us used. I hand wash at home because we rent and there is no space for a dishwasher (we are getting one in the next place though!!), so for me doing dishes there was no big deal. She still got mad at me, for washing my own plate!?!? I will never understand. I felt guilty about the throw away containers I pre-cooked freezer meals in before having Littlest Outta this past year. She knows I try to do better for the environment. OH and get this, she complains about how often they need to take out the trash.

Edited April 25, 2019 by StraightOuttaArkansas
I can't spell, but I can and should use spell check

[nst]

15 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Right now I am in a more remote part of So America and  today we went for a drive. My oh my what I saw. All these folks do is cook, wash dishes, hand wash clothes and birth muchos ninos. There is little time left for anything else.

I keep thinking that thankfully, most know no other life.

south america currently that is amazing. 

send love to the jungle!

[BlondeIdol]

When my husband and I first started dating, we lived in a small two bedroom apartment with three other people. We mostly used paper plates and cups while we lived there. It was easier because in such a small space with that many people it was hard to get access to the sink/dishwasher without loads and loads of other people’s dirty dishes and pans sitting everywhere. Husband and I didn’t want to turn into the only people who cleaned. I hated using paper plates the entire time. My heart sank a little every time I had to take out the trash. I was so so so so stoked when we moved out of there. 

I understand that sometimes using disposable plates for certain situations or large gatherings is just plain easier but it infuriates me that anyone would WANT to use paper plates for everything possible 24/7. So much waste it just grosses me out.

 

 

 

Edited April 25, 2019 by BlondeIdol

[lizzybee]

This is truly random, but I just started watching this guy's youtube videos and he basically is Ben's twin. 

Spoiler

 

 

[Meggo]

On ‎4‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 9:10 PM, singsingsing said:

Depends on where you are in Southwestern Ontario. Some places are decently close to Toronto, but if you're in 'extreme' Southwestern Ontario, it's way quicker and easier to go to the States to shop (it takes me 10 minutes to get to the States but at least 3 1/2 hours to get to Toronto). Most people I know aren't doing it as much these days what with the dollar, but there's no question the selection for things like lingerie is much better over there.

Are we neigbors?? Do you live near a bridge? Or a bridge and a tunnel??

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

On 4/24/2019 at 3:32 AM, VelociRapture said:

Two questions:

Have we discussed this video Jessa posted last week and did I somehow miss it?

Is anyone else creeped out by the conversation or am I just weird?

(Its ok to tell me I’m just weird if this isn’t creepy to anyone else. Lol!)

I can see how it would look creepy, but it’s just the Westminster catechism. They’re probably working through the kiddo version. 

[Eponine]

I have a friend who lives with his brother and they use paper or plastic cups and plates, it drives me absolutely insane. They initially made a deal that my friend would do the cooking and the brother would do the dishes - unfortunately the brother is super lazy and doesn't do it. And then my friend says he doesn't want to take responsibility for doing the dishes as well as the cooking.

I get that living with a shitty roommate sucks but I can't help being super annoyed every time it comes up, it's so unnecessary. They're the only people I've ever known in real life who do this consistently.

[eleanora3]

6 hours ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

I can see how it would look creepy, but it’s just the Westminster catechism. They’re probably working through the kiddo version. 

Spurgeon does seem to be really smart for his age. Is Henry talking yet? (Totally cool if not, kids learn at their own pace!) 

[Georgiana]

I also used a lot of disposable dishes when I didn't have a dishwasher.  

Now I have a dishwasher/cat nap spot, apparently:

Spoiler

I also talked theology with my 2.5 year old niece over the weekend, but we talked about how Jesus died on the cross and it was sad, he had a crown made of ouchies, but it's OK because he came back and now we can all go live with him after we die (and that's where her great papa is).  Spurgeon is clearly into more advanced curriculum than my "ouchie crown".