Priscilla and David 9: Starting Their Own Flipping Business?

[JermajestyDuggar]

54 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

Devastating. David makes it sound like Rebecca was working full time for UPS and attending nursing school full time? I assume she was exhausted.

And she was likely helping out with the new house build. Yes, the Wallers do seem to be more apt to work hard than Gil Bates or some other lazy fundies. But there’s such thing as too much work. Poor girl. Had workload sounds exhausting. 

[Dandruff]

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

But I suspect there are people mourning her who feel it is not OK to be angry, or to believe that her dying now was a stupid, ugly waste, not a joyous trip to Heaven.

I'd guess at least most of them feel that way, and they'll reinforce each other.  Great support...for the like-minded.  Maybe not so terrific for any who aren't fully onboard.

If their beliefs are helping the family to cope right now I'd find it hard to say they shouldn't believe it.  They just shouldn't try to push their beliefs on others.

[petrushka]

With the schedule she was keeping, I can believe that fatigue had to be in play. Poor girl.  I wonder if more details will come to light.  I am a person of faith but this would just break me.

[thoughtful]

16 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

I'd guess at least most of them feel that way, and they'll reinforce each other.  Great support...for the like-minded.  Maybe not so terrific for any who aren't fully onboard.

If their beliefs are helping the family to cope right now I'd find it hard to say they shouldn't believe it.

I wouldn't say they shouldn't believe it, but only because I'd never say that about anyone's beliefs - it's not my place to do so. It was more about my feelings. I'm not sure I said it well enough.

When something like this happens to someone we discuss, people often start walking on eggshells about discussing their beliefs. And, if someone feels it is distasteful to do so, I get it. But it seems relevant to me, not in spite of being sympathetic to someone who has suffered such a tragedy, but because of it.

I just wonder whether their declarations of joy that she went to Heaven are helpful to them, or put more pressure on them - they don't seem to permit mixed feelings. And the the thought that they might be adding to their own pain made me even sadder for them.

I'm not convinced that assuming she went right to Heaven is comforting, even to the fully-on-board believers. In the same circumstances, many people, including some who do believe in an afterlife, have the option of rage, questioning God, cursing the fact that a young person was robbed of so much, and a thousand other feelings that are personal to them, as they process it all.

But their tradition is to say it right away, and point out that they've been right all along, that anyone who accepts Jesus goes to Heaven, and wasn't she lucky that she was saved.

Some might be saying it despite doubts, and, like you, I feel for them. They may have a layer of guilt added to their pain.

But I wonder if those who are saying it and feeling it have even less outlet for their pain, since they will only let themselves process it through one rigid path. Not only do others expect them to believe she is happy in Heaven now, they expect themselves to believe it.

[Audrey2]

As much as I did not like my high school biology teacher (he was definitely the creepy teacher type), I did feel badly for his family when his youngest son, who was working night shifts to save money for medical school, was killed in an accident. It is made me very paranoid about driving when tired and I am over-the-top worried if someone I care about is doing something like driving all night. This sounds like it might have been a concern with her.

[Knight of Ni]

I remember running a red light because I was exhausted in grad school. I very narrowly missed causing an accident. It still haunts me a little six years later and reminds me to be more careful.

[Dandruff]

30 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

I just wonder whether their declarations of joy that she went to Heaven are helpful to them, or put more pressure on them - they don't seem to permit mixed feelings. And the the thought that they might be adding to their own pain made me even sadder for them.

Thanks for elaborating on your last post - I think I understand where you're coming from now. 

Good question about what may be putting more pressure on them.  On the one hand, sadly, they have some experience with an early traumatic death of a family member and may have worked through any mixed feelings the first time.  On the other hand, maybe they didn't work through mixed feelings the first time and are now doubling down on what they consider to be "acceptable" feelings.  David's IG message seems to be expressing joy that Rebecca's in heaven, but it seems (to me) the sort of thing he'd say.  It still could be that he's experiencing and acknowledging some "negative" feelings but doesn't want to share them because they might dilute his message about salvation, or whatever.

[JermajestyDuggar]

43 minutes ago, Knight of Ni said:

I remember running a red light because I was exhausted in grad school. I very narrowly missed causing an accident. It still haunts me a little six years later and reminds me to be more careful.

The only real car accident I caused (I’m not talking a slight scrape on the fender when parking) happened when I was driving home from night shift. I hadn’t slept in so long and I was exhausted. Thankfully it was just me and a guard rail. But it caused a lot of damage to my car. After that I refused to drive tired. Even short distances. 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

Thanks for elaborating on your last post - I think I understand where you're coming from now. 

You're welcome -- glad I could make it clearer.

I know everybody grieves differently. And I hope some of them are comforted by their beliefs.

But, in general, I can't help feeling that most people would need time -- weeks, months, maybe years, before they get to "I'm glad she's in Heaven with God now," about the sudden death of a young person.

Being in a culture where one is allowed to get there in one own's natural time (or not at all, for those of us who don't believe in an afterlife) strikes me as more humane.

I just hope that, in private, they help one another get there, and don't punish themselves or others if someone doesn't feel it right away, or ever.

And, I deeply, fervently, passionately hope that Jill Rodrigues doesn't go to the funeral.

 

[Odd1Out]

I definitely don’t want to snark on the family after this tragedy. I do find it sad that they can’t just post to let everyone know what happened and say that they are sad and grieving and leave it at that. I know it comforts them that she’s in Heaven and they’re turning to faith to get them thru. But the seemingly immediate post seemed cold. I know everyone grieves differently and maybe David is just trying to hold it together for his family. But why is it wrong in their eyes to express deep sadness, confusion and any other typical emotion? 

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

And, I deeply, fervently, passionately hope that Jill Rodrigues doesn't go to the funeral.

I believe Jill and TFDW would find themselves deeply and intensely incompatible, especially at a funeral.  If the Duggars and Bateses can no longer deal with Jill's theatrics, and they've both been pimping their families out on TV for years, imagine how the Wallers and their family/friends might react.

[petrushka]

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

This is so awful, for her, for the family, for the other drivers involved.

I feel for them, and was heartened to see the full post, in which David writes and adds pictures showing Rebecca's personality and contributions to the world. At least he didn't stop at "She is in Heaven today, not because she was a good person, but because she trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal Savior."

And I think the need their beliefs put on them, to celebrate her being in Heaven, and specifying that she went to Heaven only because of her beliefs, is hurtful. That's not mere snark -- their doing that to themselves adds a layer to the sadness I feel for them.

I can feel both and say both -- I was brought up being taught that it's OK and normal to have mixed feelings, about anything. I hope that, in private, that message has gotten through to Rebecca's loved ones, as well.

But I suspect there are people mourning her who feel it is not OK to be angry, or to believe that her dying now was a stupid, ugly waste, not a joyous trip to Heaven. While not as heartbreaking, to me, as the fact that she died, it is still a part of why I feel for them.  

Having grown up in a fully traditional Catholic home  (Baltimore Catechism and all) , I understand the mindset that does not allow for questioning God's omnipotence.  The thought of her going immediately to heaven may be all they have to hold on to at this point, but I can't help but think this has shaken them badly.  

[Beermeet]

Terrible news. That poor family losing two young members.  

It does bother me that David just had to take a dig at "others" not being saved properly according to his spiritual views though. I guess it kind of explains how they ( Gothard fundies) can act like jerks and go against Jesus' teachings.  No worries,  said the magic prayer and didn't kiss before marriage, anything else is gravy. Plenty of people who have lost a loved one or comforted me in that situation say something similar, they leave out the dig though. 

I really hope they can ugly cry and not have to be rejoicing 24/7 that sister went to heaven.  

[Dandruff]

4 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

I really hope they can ugly cry and not have to be rejoicing 24/7 that sister went to heaven.

The family seems really close.  I suspect they're grieving amongst themselves and using social media (and Rebecca's death) to evangelize.  I don't agree with this but imagine that Rebecca probably would.  I expect that the children are allowed to cry but are also being reminded why their aunt went to heaven.  I could see the kids feeling some pressure to get saved if they haven't already.

My guess is that Rebecca was still living at her parents' home and they expected to welcome her back at the end of the day, as usual.  At the very least, I hope they get a lot of support and company in the times to come.

[Rio]

Very sad to hear about the Wallers’ loss. I am a Priscilla fan (due to her stoic home births she seems to manage with ease) and by extension, I like the Pecan Thief as well. It seems like David was particularly close to his younger sister and she was an accomplished young woman with a bright future. 

It’s a sad reminder that we’re all hanging on by a thread here. There are just really no guarantees, are there? I guess we have to be glad for the love we get and give while we’re here.

Edited October 5, 2019 by Rio
Spelling

[moreorlessnu]

On 10/3/2019 at 9:01 PM, thoughtful said:

But their tradition is to say it right away, and point out that they've been right all along, that anyone who accepts Jesus goes to Heaven, and wasn't she lucky that she was saved.

 

Thank you. I was trying to figure out the point the Waller family was attempting to make with the "not because she was a good person" phrasing. 

Sweet Jesus (!), there are so many other ways they could have phrased that to get their point across.

May she rest in peace. She seems like she was a wonderful, caring, loving person.

[theotherelise]

rewrite:

With heavy hearts, we received a phone call today that David’s youngest sister, Rebecca went home to heaven today, October 2, at around 8:30am. In her twenty-two years of life, Rebecca brought joy into so many lives. She was a caring sister, daughter, and aunt. We grieve the loss of Rebecca's presence and that she never had the opportunity to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse. Rebecca had a strong faith and trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal savior. While we mourn, we take comfort in knowing that the instant her car was struck, she passed from earth to heaven and is in the presence of the Lord. For more information and pictures, see the link in Bio

[Dandruff]

10 hours ago, moreorlessnu said:

Sweet Jesus (!), there are so many other ways they could have phrased that to get their point across.

Eloquence in writing doesn't seem to be one of their strongest attributes.  Persistent evangelizing does.  I tend to believe that most fundies "spread the word" out of religious compulsion, but that doesn't mean they don't believe what they're saying and take strength from it.  It would be nice if it was clearer, though.

[Vivi_music]

1 hour ago, theotherelise said:

rewrite:

With heavy hearts, we received a phone call today that David’s youngest sister, Rebecca went home to heaven today, October 2, at around 8:30am. In her twenty-two years of life, Rebecca brought joy into so many lives. She was a caring sister, daughter, and aunt. We grieve the loss of Rebecca's presence and that she never had the opportunity to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse. Rebecca had a strong faith and trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal savior. While we mourn, we take comfort in knowing that the instant her car was struck, she passed from earth to heaven and is in the presence of the Lord. For more information and pictures, see the link in Bio

Seriously, you could become a ghost-writer for fundie's Instagram.

On a serious note: your message seemed much more appropriate than what Pris wrote. You don't even know Rebecca personnally and it sounds like a nicer eulogy for a nice young woman. And I am in no way diminishing the pain all of the Waller family is probably going through right now. I am certain they feel broken inside as anyone would. But that caption seemed robotic and deprived of genuine feelings. I guess some fundies were more gifted with words than others (see Jessa and Jill).

[Pleiades_06]

On 10/6/2019 at 12:41 PM, Dandruff said:

Eloquence in writing doesn't seem to be one of their strongest attributes.  Persistent evangelizing does.  I tend to believe that most fundies "spread the word" out of religious compulsion, but that doesn't mean they don't believe what they're saying and take strength from it.  It would be nice if it was clearer, though.

Their (her?) writing drives me crazy and I blame their home schooling.  But then, I’m an English teacher in a public school system. Maybe I don’t fully get what they learned in their home schooling. I’m betting, though, that what they read was incredibly biased and poorly written, so they didn’t have many examples of how to actually communicate through writing. 

 

On 10/6/2019 at 12:40 PM, theotherelise said:

opportunity

 

On 10/6/2019 at 12:40 PM, theotherelise said:

rewrite:

With heavy hearts, we received a phone call today that David’s youngest sister, Rebecca went home to heaven today, October 2, at around 8:30am. In her twenty-two years of life, Rebecca brought joy into so many lives. She was a caring sister, daughter, and aunt. We grieve the loss of Rebecca's presence and that she never had the opportunity to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse. Rebecca had a strong faith and trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as her personal savior. While we mourn, we take comfort in knowing that the instant her car was struck, she passed from earth to heaven and is in the presence of the Lord. For more information and pictures, see the link in Bio

This is lovely and what should have been written. You should be their editor-if you can stomach all the evangelical nonsense!!

Edited October 9, 2019 by Blahblah

[Hane]

@Pleiades_06, welcome—and I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve seen this level of “canned Christianity” in the writings of so many of the fundies and fundies-lite we follow: assuming their worldview is The Only Right One and that no reasonable person could possibly disagree with it. Bethany and Kristin of Girl Defined are masters at this.

[SassyPants]

For much of my life I was a practicing Catholic, so the idea that salvation being achieved through grace and faith in JC alone is very, very foreign to me. I always thought how easy it would be to be solely judged on by my proclamation of my love and trust in JC. 

[Hane]

@SassyPants, me too. Throughout my religious education, I was taught that even atheists of good will could get into heaven.

[scoutsadie]

The Wallers continue to publish mostly gracious posts about people's responses to their loss. I, too, hope they are each allowed to grieve in their unique ways, and not shamed or criticized by each other for being deeply sad about their loss of Rebecca.

Apparently, she died on Destiny's first birthday. At least the baby doesn't realize it, but it's too bad her birthday will always be tied to that loss.

David and Priss did seem to commemorate the birthday as they unexpectedly headed to be with the other Wallers, so good for them.

They posted this in their public blog; Destiny shares her big sis's comedic face.

[ophelia]

Cuteness overload!! I have to say it - Priss and the Pecan Thief make adorable babies.