Lori Alexander: 64: Continuing the Sardines into the Next Generation

[polecat]

28 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

Total speculation bus....but in Alyssa's newest IG story (Part 2 of baby gender reveal)....you see many family members.   Despite his tiresome behavior, Ken and Alyssa seem to have a genuine and very close relationship.  Lori's sister also makes an appearance and appears to be warm and genuine.    Lori is once again in the distance /far edge of the group.   again, total speculation, but could be 1 - she/family knows she has negative public perception so she intentionally tries not to be in the shot or 2 - her relationship with Alyssa is not that warm/close -- much like when they broke the news to Ken/Lori and Ken immediately hugs Alyssa, and Lori just stands their awkwardly for a period of time. 

I also wonder if Lori doesn't particularly like Alyssa's best friend Tenley...she of many bachelor shows, who is also divorced and remarried in the last year, hasn't taken her husband's name and is childless.   Don't get me wrong...I'm not throwing shade at Alyssa's friend....I'm just speculating that she falls into several of the categories Lori is always railing against.   

Oh to be walking on the beach at that time to witness that dynamic. 

 

My guess is 2. I suspect Lori has a "nobody puts Lori in a corner" attitude and would never willingly take a backseat. She has no problem talking about the "difficult" relationship she had with her daughter, and I suspect she can hold a grudge like no other. 

Well, Alyssa's better off without her anyway. (And lol that her best friend is the kind of person Lori would hate. tbh, that speaks well of her!)

[EowynW]

I wonder if Alyssa will let Lori in the delivery room. If we ever have a child, I don't think I could let my fundie mom in. I don't think I could relax and really be myself with her in there, even tho I love her. We are just two completely different people. Also, like Lori, my mom believes motherhood what we are meant for, and that birth is the most defining who you are as a woman event, and I'll never see it that way and I don't want my day defined by that view. Motherhood (or being a wife) will never "complete me" or be my sole reason for living. 

 

[SongRed7]

45 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Today the (Un)Godly mentor is going off on college for daughters again. She says 'Can we find any examples in Scripture that tells us of young women willingly leaving their homes to go off somewhere without a father’s or husband’s protection?

I am so sick of her arguments about "I can't any verses that say..."   Lori -- we can play that game all day. I find no verses that say we should be on FB all day arguing with strangers, that say Godly women should have a blog, that men should go off to college and become accountants, that only organic food is godly, that leggings are evil, etc etc.   In my opinion, God knew that people tend to fall into legalism and rule following. We are told the greatest commandment is to Love God with all your heart and the second greatest  is to love your neighbor has  yourself. 

God didn't give us the Bible to start giving us a million new rules to follow.  Stop it, Lori. 

 

[Alisamer]

41 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Today the (Un)Godly mentor is going off on college for daughters again. She says 'Can we find any examples in Scripture that tells us of young women willingly leaving their homes to go off somewhere without a father’s or husband’s protection?'  Hasn't she ever heard of Ruth? I guess not, that would require reading more of the Bible then her few pet verses. 

I suspect the scripture is FULL of young women doing things on their own. I'm no biblical scholar and it's been a while since I really read much scripture, but I'm pretty sure the women following Jesus and the apostles around didn't drag their fathers or husbands with them, not to mention Ruth and many other women who were mentioned. Maybe some of them had their fathers or husbands ruling over them, but the scripture doesn't actually mention that very often, I don't think. The woman at the well wasn't currently married (though she was living with a man). I don't remember mention of where fathers and husbands were when the women went to Jesus' tomb on the third day, or when they were huddled around the cross. The Proverbs 31 woman was married, but her husband was off hanging with the elders while she ran the home and business. Some parts of the Bible took place during war I think, when the women would likely have been the ones running most everything. 

In fact, how often is Joseph mentioned after the nativity narratives? We hear a lot about Mary, but not so much about Joseph. Or really any of her other male relatives, in my recollection - a lot about her female family, but the men don't really feature much.

Are we sure somebody didn't switch out her copy of the Bible for something else? Like Saudi Arabia's law book?

[danvillebelle]

7 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I'm no biblical scholar and it's been a while since I really read much scripture, but I'm pretty sure the women following Jesus and the apostles around didn't drag their fathers or husbands with them,

One of the women mentioned by name as a follower of Jesus was Joanna.  She was the wife of one of the stewards of HEROD'S HOUSEHOLD.  So not only was she a Jesus-supporting badass, she was probably doing it on the sly.  Take that, know-it-all Lori. 

[Lgirlrocks]

Here’s the problem I have with parents who say their children won’t be going to college. IT IS NOT THEIR CHOICE! A parents job is to keep their kid safe, provide a roof over their head, food, clothes, and to set them up for the future. You can choose not to pay for their college but you can’t tell them you won’t let them go. It’s not your decision. You are ruining their future. My mom expected us to go to college, my brothers and I, and work or we couldn’t live at home. She knew it was hard to find a good paying job without some type of degree. She wanted us to go to community college because it was cheap. 

Adults/ kids can go to college and live at home If all it is about it protection. If it’s about cost living at home or helping them get scholarships and grants will help. If it’s about education learning is never a bad thing. If it’s about loosing their faith then either you failed them as a parent or they never had it to begin with. 

If all men went to trade school the demand for those jobs would rise and there would be less available and the ones available would pay less. Simple supply and demand. Not all trades pay well all of the time. Some are seasonal, so they would have to have another job. 

Lori the Bible never says higher education is bad. Never says women can’t go away to school. Ester left her families protection to save her people. If god can use her and keep her safe he can do the same for people going to college. 

[samurai_sarah]

49 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I suspect the scripture is FULL of young women doing things on their own. I'm no biblical scholar and it's been a while since I really read much scripture, but I'm pretty sure the women following Jesus and the apostles around didn't drag their fathers or husbands with them, not to mention Ruth and many other women who were mentioned. Maybe some of them had their fathers or husbands ruling over them, but the scripture doesn't actually mention that very often, I don't think. The woman at the well wasn't currently married (though she was living with a man). I don't remember mention of where fathers and husbands were when the women went to Jesus' tomb on the third day, or when they were huddled around the cross. The Proverbs 31 woman was married, but her husband was off hanging with the elders while she ran the home and business. Some parts of the Bible took place during war I think, when the women would likely have been the ones running most everything. 

In fact, how often is Joseph mentioned after the nativity narratives? We hear a lot about Mary, but not so much about Joseph. Or really any of her other male relatives, in my recollection - a lot about her female family, but the men don't really feature much.

Are we sure somebody didn't switch out her copy of the Bible for something else? Like Saudi Arabia's law book?

Judith slaying Holofernes! No parental or otherwise male supervision involved.

Depicted by my gal Artemisia Gentileschi - spoilered for violence

Spoiler

 

PS: That went well. I'm a bloody mod, and I can't figure this out. Give me a moment.

PPS: Oh well...

[Alisamer]

10 minutes ago, samurai_sarah said:

Judith slaying Holofernes! No parental or otherwise male supervision involved.

That's one of my favorite paintings. Love Artemisia! And I love how Judith is all "fight all you want, dude. You're not leaving here alive."

(That said, I am not sure but I think that story may technically be in the apocrypha section of the Bible that most Protestants don't use? I could be wrong, however. Again, no biblical scholar here.)

[nokidsmom]

10 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Adults/ kids can go to college and live at home If all it is about it protection. If it’s about cost living at home or helping them get scholarships and grants will help. If it’s about education learning is never a bad thing. If it’s about loosing their faith then either you failed them as a parent or they never had it to begin with. 

My folks wanted all of us to go to college (a good thing) though when it came time, I had to work to help fund it (not a bad thing), they did contribute (their decision and a good thing) and they really, really wanted me at home while I did it.  The reasoning for the last was that it would cost more as I would have room and board to pay, which was true and it made the difference between coming out of school with or without student loans.    However, later on, given their extreme difficulties in letting their daughters go and live their own lives, I came to see another reason: it was about protection and control.  One problem was that after going through the college experience, plus having to work to pay for most of it, I wasn't amenable to remaining "under their protection" and be tied to the family home, that part was something my folks didn't expect.

But at least I went.   I fully believe that had I have been born a couple of decades later, given my parents' thinking they would have likely gone down the homeschooling route and been more restrictive about our education, including college.  At the time we were kids, they did not have the money for private school and homeschooling did not have anywhere near the acceptance it did later.   And sending your kids to college was a big deal because many parents did not have the opportunity.    Now we see college educated parents deciding not to send their kids to college or severely limiting where they can go, like the Bateseseses sending their kids to Crown. 

Lori's hangups about daughters not going to college makes me stabby.  

 

[wallysmommy]

The story of Judith is not in the text of the King James version, and those based on the KJV (NIV, ESV, Revised Standard, etc.).  I'll have to look at it as it was not taught in my religion classes at Loyola. 

Poor children who have been prescribed to a pre-determined life by their parents at the moment of birth.  I hope some of them break free of the chains that their parents put on them.  The supply/demand argument is the one Lori loves to use regarding women working.  

On Alyssa -- I admire her for posting on her IG and FB showing her doing what she loves, and that she and her husband are overjoyed at having a baby.  But...Lori says Alyssa is 35, and been trying to have a baby for 7 1/2 years (TMI in my opinion).  Does that mean Alyssa didn't marry until she was 27ish, which I think is great since she did what she thought was best for her own life, not following Lori's dot-to-dot recipe for life.

 

PS.  Please keep Wally in your thoughts and prayers.  He's getting very old, and is struggling to stand and walk.  My poor little Jack Russell Terrier rescue dog is about ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge to join his brother Cosmo, and his cousins T-2 and Hank.  

[Loveday]

13 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

PS.  Please keep Wally in your thoughts and prayers.  He's getting very old, and is struggling to stand and walk.  My poor little Jack Russell Terrier rescue dog is about ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge to join his brother Cosmo, and his cousins T-2 and Hank.  

I'm so sorry. I will keep little Wally in my thoughts, prayers, and heart. And you as well. 

[samurai_sarah]

xxx

21 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

The story of Judith is not in the text of the King James version, and those based on the KJV (NIV, ESV, Revised Standard, etc.).  I'll have to look at it as it was not taught in my religion classes at Loyola. (snip)

Good to know. I thought it was, because we had to discuss it in Catholic religious education in school, back in Germany. But to be fair, we also had to discuss St Blasius - the saint that saves you from dying of a fishbone getting stuck in your throat (I'm not making this up). So, I'll trust you on that.

P.S. Sending good thoughts.

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Here’s the problem I have with parents who say their children won’t be going to college. IT IS NOT THEIR CHOICE!

For the most part, these are people who don't have college age kids. Their kids are 5 or 7, the parents still control everything, and the parents think it will be that way forever.

Ha.

I have an 18 year old and I can assure you that most young adults want to make their own decisions at that age. They don't take contradiction well. 

Plus, by the time kids are 18, 19, they've become their own person. They have interests. They love science, or taking apart cars, or they have a fascination for helping the sick or piloting a plane. If you love your kid, you see this interest and want to help them pursue it. Like the 7 Sisters. They've become their own people.

Of course, there are some fundie (and nonfundie) families where the kids are so beaten down that they are silent about their own interests, or haven't had a chance to develop any, or they're too insecure to leave home, because of the damage their parents have done. Like the Anderson kids.

But yes, these fundie parents do crack me up when they think aged 8 is the same as 18. 

[AuntKrazy]

52 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

The story of Judith is not in the text of the King James version, and those based on the KJV (NIV, ESV, Revised Standard, etc.). 

I just want to say that NIV, ESV, RSV, NRSV are definitely NOT based on the KJB.  They use a different manuscript to begin with - that is, they are translated from the Greek text, and what is considered by scholars the most accurate and earliest Greek text of the Bible.  The KJB relies heavily on the Latin vulgate as it's original source and is considered very nearly a translation of a translation of the Bible because it does so.

[wallysmommy]

@AuntKrazyThank you.  I just learned something that I should have known about these texts.  I need to learn more about the historical sources of the Bible.  The protestant churches I've attended use KJV, NIV, and ESV interchangeably.  Our current pastor uses ESV.  

I do have to say that the comments in today's post just rub me raw, especially Stupid Shaun and his girls should get married at 15-years-old.  Would he let his daughter get married at 15?  

As for colleges teaching a Marxist agenda, I teach for two universities and trust me, my classes aren't teaching a Marxist agenda.  These never been to college people have such a stereotypical view of what happens in higher education.  I taught mostly working adults who were trying to better their careers.  I applaud Madison who is standing her ground against the Lori leghumping fools.

[EowynW]

Being 18 doesn't guarantee  you get to make your own decisions in many strict fundie families, especially if you are a female. Been there done that. Looking back I can see there was a lot of fear and intimidation that helped keep me in line, even though it wasn't meant that way in their minds, I'm sure. 

 

Also ????

 

What god wants. Bullshit. I have had this thrown at me so many times whenever people find out I am not sure if I want a child and if I do have one I'll be a one and done. 

[delphinium65]

1 minute ago, EowynW said:

30 is way too late for a family?  WTF??!  There are only a few names/faces that I see online, that induce a face-stabby urge (maybe half a dozen or so), but Shaun Steele is well on his way to becoming one of them.  It's none of his f'ing business when Madison starts a family, or if she does at all.  

[samurai_sarah]

13 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

I just want to say that NIV, ESV, RSV, NRSV are definitely NOT based on the KJB.  They use a different manuscript to begin with - that is, they are translated from the Greek text, and what is considered by scholars the most accurate and earliest Greek text of the Bible.  The KJB relies heavily on the Latin vulgate as it's original source and is considered very nearly a translation of a translation of the Bible because it does so.

That might explain why religious education in my part of Germany taught me about this story. Not being of the anglophone persuasion, our regional standard German Bible was.... uhm, standard.

[Imrlgoddess]

Lori's good buddy Kyle seems to be very hung up on fertility and the continuation of the human race.  Whatcha scared of Kyle?  By the time the wolves and bears run the world...we'll be long gone....

[polecat]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Being 18 doesn't guarantee  you get to make your own decisions in many strict fundie families, especially if you are a female. Been there done that. Looking back I can see there was a lot of fear and intimidation that helped keep me in line, even though it wasn't meant that way in their minds, I'm sure. 

 

That was my experience, too, Eowyn. 

Oh, and I started my family at 30, lol. These people have such a constricted view of life.

[Dreadcrumbs]

4 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

One of the women mentioned by name as a follower of Jesus was Joanna.  She was the wife of one of the stewards of HEROD'S HOUSEHOLD.  So not only was she a Jesus-supporting badass, she was probably doing it on the sly.  Take that, know-it-all Lori. 

How many of early Christianity's women martyrs remained Christian despite what their fathers and husbands? Hmm Lori? 

[klein_roeschen]

3 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

PS.  Please keep Wally in your thoughts and prayers.  He's getting very old, and is struggling to stand and walk.  My poor little Jack Russell Terrier rescue dog is about ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge to join his brother Cosmo, and his cousins T-2 and Hank.  

Fingers and paws are crossed here and good toughts are on the way to you.

@samurai_sarah My dirty mind didn't think of fish bones stuck in the troath when hearing St. Blasius. For the non-german speakers, "blasen" means fellatio. But one of the few things I like about the catholic church is their rich canon of saints for everything, many of them female. At least one thing better than the protestants.

[Hisey]

Quote

Being 18 doesn't guarantee  you get to make your own decisions in many strict fundie families, especially if you are a female. Been there done that. Looking back I can see there was a lot of fear and intimidation that helped keep me in line, even though it wasn't meant that way in their minds, I'm sure. 

I know. That's what I meant when I said that some 18-year olds were too beaten down or indoctrinated or controlled to make their own decisions. However, if you raise your kids right--to be strong and independent--they most likely will be chomping at the bit to make their own decisions at 18 (or before, lol). They will resent any attempts at control. And that is healthy.

I came from a secular, abusive family. At 18, I was not even allowed to drive. My parents wanted to continue controlling me BUT they also expected me to leave home and get a college degree. That meant controlling me was pretty impossible. I had internalized so much of their insanity, though, that I was "thought controlled" anyway, if you get what I mean.

EW, from what you've written, it sounds like your parents did not recognize 18 as an adult,and they also probably believed some crap about you needed an "umbrella of protection." To me, "umbrella of protection" has always meant--"She's a sexual being! Make sure she doesn't get pregnant! Or dress immodestly and embarrass us." 

It cracks me up that today Lori is writing about how young girls need protection and shouldn't go to college. At 18, Alyssa left home and moved across the country to live in her own apartment. Cassie went to BIOLA and I think lived in a dorm (it is over an hour from their home, so she probably did). 

[nokidsmom]

7 minutes ago, Hisey said:

However, if you raise your kids right--to be strong and independent--they most likely will be chomping at the bit to make their own decisions at 18 (or before, lol). They will resent any attempts at control. And that is healthy.

I was ready to make my own decisions by 18 and ironically, my parents, in educating me and requiring me to hold down a job plus school, plus fund school during my college years, they were encouraging the very independence that surfaced after college.  They were very unhappy that I was moving out to the point they tried to extract promises from me of where I would live, etc, in short promise a future that would revolve around them, what they wanted.   I was having none of it, in fact I resented it.  While it was the healthy thing for me, I was always tagged as the one "who abandoned the family"  WTF.  

[Dreadcrumbs]

4 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

As for colleges teaching a Marxist agenda, I teach for two universities and trust me, my classes aren't teaching a Marxist agenda.  These never been to college people have such a stereotypical view of what happens in higher education.  I taught mostly working adults who were trying to better their careers.  I applaud Madison who is standing her ground against the Lori leghumping fools.

The whole "colleges have a Marxist agenda" thing is a hoot. Sure, you might encounter Marx and his work in certain classes, and you also might be introduced to scholars influenced by Marx, but schools are hardly pushing a "Marxist agenda".