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Coconut Flan

Lori Alexander: 64: Continuing the Sardines into the Next Generation

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Wine time!
Imrlgoddess
4 hours ago, Loveday said:

Shaun says, in today's silly scribble, 

Lemme correct that for ya, Shaun: There were no women getting PAID for doing these jobs for thousands of years. Somehow...they survived, but it wasn't easy.

Meh. Never mind about those Jewish midwives who were tried for witchcraft & stoned. Or all those "pagan" ladies mixing tinctures to keep diseases at bay.... ya know... more witches.  Obviously men have been the only healers ever ever. 

It's almost like God made a mistake when she made women to be guardians of children....

 

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Wine time!
Sarah92
23 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I know this is off topic, but I could really use your prayers. My 17 year old daughter has been very rebellious lately. She really is a good kid who has not given us much trouble. It's mainly her combative attitude where you can't tell her anything. She will start screaming and cursing if you look at her wrong. My husband makes it worse because he will yell back and the whole thing gets out of hand.

The other day she screamed at her dad that she hated him and ran out the door. He calls me at work in a panic to come home. We go look for her and she causes a scene in the street. We finally get her in the van AND SHE OPENS THE DOOR TO JUMP OUT WHILE IT'S MOVING!  We got her home and her younger (but bigger) brother had to help keep her from taking off again.

She is adopted and I believe has issues with that, but has been seeing a therapist.  I'm at a loss here. My husband doesn't have any patience with her disrespect, so he will battle with her.  

I'm afraid I could lose my job because my husband calls me to come home whenever she has an episode (which I've had to do twice recently). He works mostly from home so they get into it quite often since she is doing homeschool and they are together a lot.  I'm so stressed out to leave them home. It's affecting our son because he is home as well and has to listen to them scream while trying to do his school work.  Public school is not an option until fall due to credits.

Any teen parenting wisdom or prayers are greatly appreciated. I'm dying here.

I agree with what was said about husband needing to control the yelling. One thing I tell parents that I work with when it comes to teens and kids is yelling doesn't work during an argument. From my observation, when people start yelling the listening ears go off. No one is truly being heard when angry.  When voices start to raise its time to take a break. Five mins in separate rooms if possible and then coming back to the discussion. If tempers flare again, separate and come back. Rinse and repeat until done.  

Also, I do wondering if she's panicking about something. It sounds like she might be going into flight mode and attempting to get away. Implementing a safe spot on your property for her might be good. Tell her that you understand if she needs space to think and catch her breath but she needs to stay on your property. When in flight mode pursuing often seems to increase panic and might shift them from flight to fight. Think scared dog. Teens often do things impulsively and need time to process and think about their actions. 

I'd say work on acknowledging her emotions. I always tell my kiddos that it's okay to be angry. Some are shocked by this because their parents expect them to have no negative emotional reactions. However, it's what we do in anger that makes the difference. Many parents focus on the disrespect they feel rather than the reason for the lashing out. It shifts what's going on from the deeper problem to the surface level problem of disrespectful behavior. You could say,  "Honey I love you and I can see something is wrong. I want to help you and will try and give you the space you need until you're ready to talk to me. If you aren't ready now, is there anything we can do to help you out?" Junior year was a rough year for me personally. I was talking on a heavy class loud to prepare for college. I was pretty bitchy. My parents usually gave me space to work on my homework and talk to them when I needed to. It was helpful to know they loved me and understood my stress. 

*Despite being a child counselor, I'm legally obligated to say (I think)  that I'm not giving this advice as a counselor but as an internet friend. :) 

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Hisey
On 4/14/2019 at 7:22 PM, Free Jana Duggar said:

I know this is off topic, but I could really use your prayers. My 17 year old daughter has been very rebellious lately. She really is a good kid who has not given us much trouble. It's mainly her combative attitude where you can't tell her anything. She will start screaming and cursing if you look at her wrong. My husband makes it worse because he will yell back and the whole thing gets out of hand.

The other day she screamed at her dad that she hated him and ran out the door. He calls me at work in a panic to come home. We go look for her and she causes a scene in the street. We finally get her in the van AND SHE OPENS THE DOOR TO JUMP OUT WHILE IT'S MOVING!  We got her home and her younger (but bigger) brother had to help keep her from taking off again.

She is adopted and I believe has issues with that, but has been seeing a therapist.  I'm at a loss here. My husband doesn't have any patience with her disrespect, so he will battle with her.  

I'm afraid I could lose my job because my husband calls me to come home whenever she has an episode (which I've had to do twice recently). He works mostly from home so they get into it quite often since she is doing homeschool and they are together a lot.  I'm so stressed out to leave them home. It's affecting our son because he is home as well and has to listen to them scream while trying to do his school work.  Public school is not an option until fall due to credits.

Any teen parenting wisdom or prayers are greatly appreciated. I'm dying here.

Hi, Free Jana. I have an 18 year old daughter (also adopted) who was quite a challenge during adolescence.

Although we were far from perfect parents, I do believe that many of her issues stem from feeling she was rejected by her birthparents. She's admitted this herself, at times. She pushes us away a lot, and I think she worried about being "disloyal" to her birthparents by being to close to us.

I will say that college life has helped her enormously. She lives in a dorm, and is several hours away, and has matured a great deal through this process. 

But adolescence was difficult. I also took her rejection personally, which made it more painful. My daughter never did anything really bad--in fact, she was an amazing kid in many ways--but, boy, she could be mean.

In the movie Lady Byrd, the 17-year old lead has an argument with her mother in the car and leaps out, same as you describe with your daughter. Funny in the movie, not so funny in real life.  (It's a great movie, btw, for those with teen daughters).

I think most parents of 17-year olds, adopted or not, will say that you can't "tell them anything." It seems to come with the age. I've been told that kids (unconsciously) feel they need to "soil the nest" to make it easier for them to leave home.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to chat, though I don't know if I have any words of wisdom other than it will get better, in my experience. 

Edited by Hisey

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Petronella

Lori’s callous comment in response to a woman who felt called by God to become a nurse: “It seems too common these days in relation to a self-centered or self-focused decision.”

Self-centered?? Self-centered??????? Caring for the sick and supporting families through their dark hours is self-centered?????????????? 

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lilith
1 hour ago, Petronella said:

Lori’s callous comment in response to a woman who felt called by God to become a nurse: “It seems too common these days in relation to a self-centered or self-focused decision.”

Self-centered?? Self-centered??????? Caring for the sick and supporting families through their dark hours is self-centered?????????????? 

She was such a patronising bitch throughout that entire interaction. Even when the woman said that she felt god had given her a gift of healing and led her towards nursing, which allowed her to share the gospel with patients and co-workers, Lori was just “nope. God wants you at home because I say so, and btw, you’re fucking up your kids”. 

Yet I’m sure Lori would consider male nurses to be unmanly (and good luck supporting a huge family on one nurses salary).

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Meeka

Lori said in the comments that in the past women used midwives and they would quickly come in and birth the baby. Has she ever learned what midwives did in the past? My great grandmother was a midwife, she was born in the very last part of the 1800's, and she did not just show up quickly for the birth and then go home to her own family. She delivered the baby and then she would spend 3-4 days with the mother helping to take care of the new mother and new baby as well as the mother's home and other children. So, she would be gone for 3-4 days at a time from her own home. My great grandmother also had a family with I think 7 children and when she was gone the children's grandmother's would take care of her children and then later on her older daughters. 

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Free Jana Duggar
8 hours ago, Hisey said:

Hi, Free Jana. I have an 18 year old daughter (also adopted) who was quite a challenge during adolescence.

Although we were far from perfect parents, I do believe that many of her issues stem from feeling she was rejected by her birthparents. She's admitted this herself, at times. She pushes us away a lot, and I think she worried about being "disloyal" to her birthparents by being to close to us.

I will say that college life has helped her enormously. She lives in a dorm, and is several hours away, and has matured a great deal through this process. 

But adolescence was difficult. I also took her rejection personally, which made it more painful. My daughter never did anything really bad--in fact, she was an amazing kid in many ways--but, boy, she could be mean.

In the movie Lady Byrd, the 17-year old lead has an argument with her mother in the car and leaps out, same as you describe with your daughter. Funny in the movie, not so funny in real life.  (It's a great movie, btw, for those with teen daughters).

I think most parents of 17-year olds, adopted or not, will say that you can't "tell them anything." It seems to come with the age. I've been told that kids (unconsciously) feel they need to "soil the nest" to make it easier for them to leave home.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to chat, though I don't know if I have any words of wisdom other than it will get better, in my experience. 

Thank you so much.  Your experience sounds similar to ours. Out daughter otherwise is a good kid. She has never been in trouble at school or done anything terrible. Her teachers have always praised her     it's just the "can't tell her anything" and "when I'm 18 I'm out of here" attitude. 

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Unimpressed
delphinium65

We've got someone ripping Lori a new one, calling her out for hypocrisy and disobedience to what is CLEARLY stated in the Bible, about a man seeing a woman's nakedness, using her own tactics.  Also, apparently Erin Dale Carr  is a man, saying 'Since this is a shared profile the entire diatribe has been the husband speaking,' so again Lori is teaching a man.  A MAN!  Shameless, feminist Jezebel!  

Trying to put under spoilers, it's a pretty long discussion.  There is a bit missing, looks like Ken rode in on his Horse of Truth, but he's blocked me, so I can only see answers to what he said. 

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Wine time!
Imrlgoddess

Ken's responses:

A dozen screenshots bc that dude is long winded! Also, I love the clash of PP & Lori!! 

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Crap. I tried to remove the rogue pic that's hanging out on the bottom there, it won't stay deleted.

Mod help please? 

Edited by Imrlgoddess
Extra image removal

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Unimpressed
delphinium65
6 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Ken's responses:

A dozen screenshots bc that dude is long winded! Also, I love the clash of PP & Lori!!  

Thank you!  

So much of what Kennie-boy says there applies at least as much to Lori as it does Erin Dale Carr, and to himself as well.  Pots, meet kettle.  

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Wine time!
Sarah92

I think it was the Erin post where Ken called them out for being rude or something, I believe he assumed the poster was female. But he didn't call out one of his merry followers for being twice as rude. Most likely because it was a male. 

They're both such jerks. Nurses are not being self centered for working. I meet a lot of nurses and a majority of them are very kind people. Those in caretaker services are usually there to help people. Heck, I don't get paid that great but I really enjoy counseling. I took on student loans specifically so I can help others. How is that selfish? 

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Alisamer
14 hours ago, Briefly said:

Liam is "playing with fire" and possibly literally, if he does not have insurance.

Truth. Know who is paying a large percentage of the restoration work from when my church caught fire and burned? Insurance companies. The church had insurance, as did the company whose workers accidentally started the fire. Know who did a lot of the paperwork to get that all resolved? The (female) church secretary, the (about half female) committees for the building team, and the (mostly female) deacons of our church. 

In fact, we were discussing just this Sunday during our (all female except the director) handbell rehearsal, about how the church would fall apart completely without women. Nearly every team, group, mission, class, etc. in the church is either headed by a woman or has a majority of women on board, with maybe two exceptions - the men's breakfast team (they COOK. *gasp!*), and the Boys in Action class. The head deacon is often a woman - in fact once there was only one deacon committee head who was male, and it was the social committee. The children's minister is a woman. The pastor is male, but he is openly and vocally in favor of female leadership in the church. I can't remember a single service I've been to where a woman didn't get behind the pulpit and lead something - a prayer, a scripture reading, announcements, something. The youth lead worship entirely a couple times a year, and it is not uncommon for the girls to be the ones preaching. Usually the older girls, who we are super proud of, all of whom in my memory have gone on to college and careers. And marriage and motherhood, for most of them. 

And this is a Baptist church, located in the South. Most of the women work, or have worked - we have teachers, accountants, lawyers, photographers, nurses, etc. The music minister's wife has a tattoo, as does my sister who is a deacon. The pastor and his wife have one daughter, and she is in college studying science.

It makes me crazy how Lori seems so stuck on one or two verses of the bible that she can't see the rest of it. She thinks HER ways are God's ways, ignoring the fact that the majority of churches disagree with her to the point she's left multiple churches. She is probably the least fundamentalist-living person we follow here, with the most extreme fundamental ideals for everyone else. She'd find something "ungodly" about everyone else here, I'd bet. No one can live up to her standards. Especially not herself.

12 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

...Obviously men have been the only healers ever ever. 

 

Obviously! That's why when childbirth became a doctor's issue instead of a midwife's responsibility, child and mother mortality went UP initially.

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lilwriter85
7 hours ago, lilith said:

She was such a patronising bitch throughout that entire interaction. Even when the woman said that she felt god had given her a gift of healing and led her towards nursing, which allowed her to share the gospel with patients and co-workers, Lori was just “nope. God wants you at home because I say so, and btw, you’re fucking up your kids”. 

Yet I’m sure Lori would consider male nurses to be unmanly (and good luck supporting a huge family on one nurses salary).

I vaguely remember Lori posting something years back that more men should get into nursing.  I think it was when she did a post on Always Learning about nurses and her suggestion was that women without kids, women with grown kids, and men should be nurses instead of women with younger children. 

I agree, it would be difficult to support a large family on a nurse's salary. But, I could see Lori or Ken trying to say that if female nurses left the field then wages would rise for male nurses. Ken has tried using that similar explanation in the past. Just recently on the TW FB, there was a young woman who tried to use that same argument about what would happen if all women stayed home. I'm not an expert in economics, so I won't touch on the wages/salary part. But, I don't think that fangirl, Ken, or Lori realize that many businesses, factories, law enforcement agencies, healthcare facilities, and other places would be suffering without working women. It would led to longer wait times for appointments, checking out at stores or restaurants, longer product production times , and longer response times for law enforcement and first responders.  Also, without working women, the men could be pushed into working constant overtime. I can see tons of safety issues popping up in some places with a reduced staff. 

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quiversR4hunting

To add to the economics of women working, I am going back to the industrial revolution- because Lori won't know this - started in the early 1800s. Let' slook at why women worked back then and why they were hired... Reason 1. The companies would pay them 1/2 the wage of a man. 2. She had to work to help support the family. 3. kids weren't left at home, some kids as young as 6 worked in the same factory as his or her parents, for even less of a wage. Depending on the factory, women were often required to attend church services or be fired. 

Lori would love this part of the industrial revolution if an employee did something wrong corporal punishment was used. 

Here is a simple overview of the time period: https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/us-history/the-early-republic/culture-and-reform/a/women-in-the-workplace-and-household 

So where were these "good ole days"? 

And here is an article about the industrial revolution in England. Sadly, not much was different across the pond. http://foundations.uwgb.org/womensroles/ 

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Tired
SassyPantswithASideofClass
11 hours ago, Hisey said:

Hi, Free Jana. I have an 18 year old daughter (also adopted) who was quite a challenge during adolescence.

Although we were far from perfect parents, I do believe that many of her issues stem from feeling she was rejected by her birthparents. She's admitted this herself, at times. She pushes us away a lot, and I think she worried about being "disloyal" to her birthparents by being to close to us.

I will say that college life has helped her enormously. She lives in a dorm, and is several hours away, and has matured a great deal through this process. 

But adolescence was difficult. I also took her rejection personally, which made it more painful. My daughter never did anything really bad--in fact, she was an amazing kid in many ways--but, boy, she could be mean.

In the movie Lady Byrd, the 17-year old lead has an argument with her mother in the car and leaps out, same as you describe with your daughter. Funny in the movie, not so funny in real life.  (It's a great movie, btw, for those with teen daughters).

I think most parents of 17-year olds, adopted or not, will say that you can't "tell them anything." It seems to come with the age. I've been told that kids (unconsciously) feel they need to "soil the nest" to make it easier for them to leave home.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to chat, though I don't know if I have any words of wisdom other than it will get better, in my experience. 

I am adopted myself. I was older (early toddler years) when I came from my home country to America. My parents were and are the most amazing people you will meet. Back then adoption was still fairly new. They tried their best to learn about the trauma, pain etc that adopted people go through. However back then, very little information was found. Now there is a plethora of information, resources etc. In my late teens to early 20s, I admit; I screwed up. Nothing illegal but I was fighting against my own brokenness and pain. Unfortunately I wasn't being the person I knew I could be. My parents had to intervene for my own safety. Looking back, it was the best decision. Believe it me, intervention was NOT fun. I fought against in passive aggressively, dug my heels and so on. I became a believer and well my faith is still growing. I am NOT a nut religious person, and will always try to respect (NOT perfect) other peoples beliefs and opinions.  We found an amazing mental health and counseling center. Together as a family, we were able to work on various struggles and issues. A lot of it stemmed from a traumatic early childhood, and everything that would happen in an adoption process (I can explain if needed) We would do family counseling, individual counseling and so forth.  For the first time, I could really vent, cry, scream, etc to someone. My parents were able to do the same too. We had someone who was the neutral outlook to just listen. That was several years ago. Today we are healthy, happy and transparent with each other. We talk to each other daily, spend time and honestly we enjoy it! We have our moments but we work together through it. I can smile, laugh, and just be the real raw me.

My parents like I stated above are truly amazing. They loved and love me through every moment of my life. From the times I was being a birch to being a stubborn woman. Never ever once did they give up. I remember one time I had said "Sorry I am such a disappointment to you." My parents looked at me as if they had been slapped. In that moment I made my dad cry. I made my mom cry too. They never cried in front of me. I'll never forget it. I will also never forget what they said. They said "Oh honey. The choices you have made at times have been disappointing. However you are NOT a disappointment. You are a gift and blessing. You have blessed our lives in ways you will never truly understand until later. We love you deeply and you will always be ours. It doesn't matter that your skin tone or ethnicity is different from ours; you are our daughter always." I know I burst into tears. I needed to hear that. They remind me every once in a while. Sorry went off on a rabbit trail. However as a fellow FJ commentator, I wanted to share a part of my story.  

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EowynW

LOL @ Erin Dale vs Ken @ Lori. One dumb fundie fighting another dumb fundie. 

 

Erin Dale said last week you didn't need to involve outsiders in rape or sexual abuse. 

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Hisey
36 minutes ago, SassyPantswithASideofClass said:

I am adopted myself. I was older (early toddler years) when I came from my home country to America. My parents were and are the most amazing people you will meet.

Sassypants. Thank you for sharing this. It is so helpful to me to read about your experience. I am glad that you and your family are doing so well now. You sound like a strong, amazing woman. If you have any advice for parents like myself, I'd be happy to listen (just PM me).

My children were also "older" when they were adopted (early and late toddler years, respectively). I think that this creates additional trauma. A toddler -- although she cannot voice it -- knows that something is happening, that she is leaving one home and moving to another. This was especially true with our older toddler.

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Meh
refugee
On 4/14/2019 at 8:02 PM, Frog99 said:

My oldest is 11, so no lived experience. I am sending prayers your way.

Jumping out of the vehicle in motion is very impulsive- it almost sounds like she was in a full on panic attack (my 11 year old has anxiety and has had moments where she feels the need to escape the situation right then and there- it happened at my sister’s over Thanksgiving- no new people, nothing other than people visiting and eating- she can’t up to me and said we had to leave right then and walked outside). I would also touch base with her therapist. 

And I know it’s easy to say- but your husband is going to have to control his reaction. It looks like disrespect to him but that doesn’t mean it is. Behavior has a function- identifying that is key. 

Dr. Dan Siegel is a great resource- he has several books and you can watch a YouTube of the hand brain model. 

The original comment this is answering was so triggering, I couldn’t respond. This describes my dh and one of my kids at that age.

Then the “it looks like disrespect to him” in this comment jumped out at me. Yes! That was it, in our case. For my dh, respect was a one-way street. He demanded respect just because of being the father. (ETA: an important point to add is that he viewed “disrespect” as anything that crossed his will. Very toxic, but today’s version of christian parenting actively sets families up to fail under the “father knows best” dynamic.) His kids thought he needed to earn it, just like he kept telling them they would have to act in a way that deserved respect before he would treat them with respect. So it was a vicious cycle, him demanding respect from others while not respecting their feelings, thoughts, or viewpoints.

He’s not a terrible person. Just brainwashed by complementarian teaching (even though he claims he never bought into it) and christian parenting practices.

I can’t touch on the adoption part of the puzzle, though I know from friends that it brings its own complications. So what I say here is just the fruit of our own journey.

At 17, the kid is almost a legal adult and probably resents being treated like a kid. She also sounds like she feels trapped.

Family therapy (secular, not christian that would have disastrously reinforced the idea of dad’s “authority”) helped us a little, in terms of setting boundaries. (Dh didn’t recognize that *he* needed to respect others’ boundaries, not just that his own were all that mattered.) Therapy on an individual basis helped our kidult gain perspective.

I’m sorry to have to say that their relationship did not improve until the kid was able to move out. Even now, she can only take him in small doses.

The dad in question is a pastor, if I’m remembering right. That whole christian authority thing can be so poisonous to relationships.

As summed up below, for an authoritarian parent, the definition of “disrespect” is contradicting, disagreeing, or saying no to a parent. Sometimes just being in a bad mood can be labeled disrespect.

Edited by refugee
Definition of “disrespect”: contradicting, disagreeing, or saying no to a parent

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EowynW
13 minutes ago, refugee said:

The original comment this is answering was so triggering, I couldn’t respond. This describes my dh and one of my kids at that age.

Then the “it looks like disrespect to him” in this comment jumped out at me. Yes! That was it, in our case. For my dh, respect was a one-way street. He demanded respect just because of being the father. (ETA: an important point to add is that he viewed “disrespect” as anything that crossed his will. Very toxic, but today’s version of christian parenting actively sets families up to fail under the “father knows best” dynamic.) His kids thought he needed to earn it, just like he kept telling them they would have to act in a way that deserved respect before he would treat them with respect. So it was a vicious cycle, him demanding respect from others while not respecting their feelings, thoughts, or viewpoints.

He’s not a terrible person. Just brainwashed by complementarian teaching (even though he claims he never bought into it) and christian parenting practices.

I can’t touch on the adoption part of the puzzle, though I know from friends that it brings its own complications. So what I say here is just the fruit of our own journey.

At 17, the kid is almost a legal adult and probably resents being treated like a kid. She also sounds like she feels trapped.

Family therapy (secular, not christian that would have disastrously reinforced the idea of dad’s “authority”) helped us a little, in terms of setting boundaries. (Dh didn’t recognize that *he* needed to respect others’ boundaries, not just that his own were all that mattered.) Therapy on an individual basis helped our kidult gain perspective.

I’m sorry to have to say that their relationship did not improve until the kid was able to move out. Even now, she can only take him in small doses.

The dad in question is a pastor, if I’m remembering right. That whole christian authority thing can be so poisonous to relationships.

As summed up below, for an authoritarian parent, the definition of “disrespect” is contradicting, disagreeing, or saying no to a parent. Sometimes just being in a bad mood can be labeled disrespect.

How do you know my Dad? LOL 😐

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Meh
refugee
8 minutes ago, EowynW said:

How do you know my Dad? LOL 😐

Oddly enough, the bible warns fathers against driving their children to exasperation. That verse seems to get glossed over because authority-obsessed fathers prefer the verse about children being obedient to their parents.

Edited by refugee
Autocorrect
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SongRed7
2 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

But, I don't think that fangirl, Ken, or Lori realize that many businesses, factories, law enforcement agencies, healthcare facilities, and other places would be suffering without working women.

There are lot of pictures available online of Ken with many of the orthodontic offices he has consulted with in his job.  All of the pictures are majority women in every office.   If you check out son Steven's Ortho Office website, it it majority women there including his female partner.  Even in their little corner of the world, if all the women up and left or were forced not to work, I would venture most if not all of the orthodontist offices would cease to function and Ken would have no where to consult and essentially be out of a job. Who is going to provide Lori's $14 a pound butter and $35 face powder then??

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Lgirlrocks

Lori is back on no such thing as marital rape. Having sex with your spouse when you want to isn’t rape. Having sex with your spouse because you feel you have to even though you don’t want to is a form of rape. Being forced to have sex is rape. Some women have greater sex drives then men. Why doesn’t Lori ever say anything about men not depriving their wives? Oh that’s right she doesn’t want women to know that they deserve to be treated well. Women are to be doormats. 4E01345F-6B3A-4B65-99EA-5783C1E5A2CD.thumb.jpeg.b9f544f7a139ec3a5fcd703b9e27506c.jpeg

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Lgirlrocks

29FB3F9B-1DE6-4CBA-97FE-86CC537E9729.thumb.jpeg.5693836dedf729b6c57dd759cfff3019.jpeg

@ken you are so wrong. If a women doesn’t feel like sex and she feels like she has to do it it’s abuse and could be rape. No one should feel like they have to have sex when they don’t want to. Any real man wouldn’t want to sleep with a women if she isn’t in the mood. 

If you are cheated on the the one who cheated claims it’s because you aren’t having sex with them don’t believe it. Don’t have sex so you won’t be cheated on. Do it because you want to.  

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Tired
SassyPantswithASideofClass
2 hours ago, refugee said:

Oddly enough, the bible warns fathers against driving their children to exasperation. That verse seems to get glossed over because authority-obsessed fathers prefer the verse about children being obedient to their parents.

Exactly. I mean I admit and even my dad will: He was hard on me. Sometimes a little too hard. A lot of that came from his own childhood. With counseling, he and my mom are the first people I go to when I am having a bad day, or need to vent. I love asking them for advice and when I need it tough love. He's still my dad, my mom is still my mom; however they both have become extremely dear to my heart. I wish every child had that. I know many people who didn't and it makes my heart hurt for them.

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Wine time!
Sarah92

Sex. And. Work. Are. Different. You vitamin d deficient circus clown.  Going to work when you don't want to is probably not going to traumatize you. Sex when you don't want it will because there's something about sex and sexuality that connects deep within the soul. It's why rape is so traumatic. It's not only a violation of the body but personhood itself. So please fuck off with that nonsense. 

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