JinJer 48: California Love

[Beermeet]

My mom went to college right after HS in 1970. Got married to my dad who she met there. Had me in 1973 and they both worked/went to college and raised me with the help of grandparents.  This seemed pretty common.  My mom has much more formal education than my dad.  Their generation was pretty "free to be me". Sure, lots of moms stayed home, as they still do now. But most went to college and not just for a Mrs.  The women didn't want to be like their mom's who married in the 40's and usually didn't have a career or opportunity to work outside the home once married.  Many of my great uncles,  my grandfathers, older neighbors thought it was shameful to have a working wife. The women of the 70's paved the way for my generation and on. I love them for it!  

[Pecansforeveryone]

I think many acknowledge Jinger is in a less than ideal situation, even regardless of her terrible beliefs. She has no trained skill set and no level of higher education. Jinger has been educationaly stunted all her life with not so much as a part-time cashier's job to put on her resume. Heaven forbid, the spot she would be put in if Jeremy passed suddenly. She would absolutely be dependent on her family to take her and Felicity in. 

[just_ordinary]

I think it is reaching that Jeremy probably  was interested in Jana at first. Just because people are closer in age doesn’t make them more attractive for another. Apart from Jingers low education and experience level their age difference isn’t problematic at all. But Jana isn’t much better in that regard so it would have been problematic as well. 

All son in laws choose to pursue a bad educated, dependent and submissive Duggar woman. Apart from Austin they all had more exposure to normal life and are way better educated.

[freshlemonade]

I can't see Jeremy ever working together with Derek.   Do they ever even spend time together?  Other than that bachelor "party" golf outing, have they ever been featured together on CO?  

[QuiverFullofBooks]

59 minutes ago, freshlemonade said:

I can't see Jeremy ever working together with Derek.   Do they ever even spend time together?  Other than that bachelor "party" golf outing, have they ever been featured together on CO?  

No, but Derick was in Central America and then dropped from the show, while Jeremy was in Texas. That being said, I suspect they don’t like each other, or at least don’t have much in common.

[Beermeet]

59 minutes ago, freshlemonade said:

I can't see Jeremy ever working together with Derek.   Do they ever even spend time together?  Other than that bachelor "party" golf outing, have they ever been featured together on CO?  

Jeremy is way out of Dericks league.  I have a feeling Jeremy looks at DWretch like he does JB.  Jeremy holds similar beliefs, if not the same as those two but is much more refined and well spoken.  He was into Jinger and played along to get her. Then, he was gone and on with their lives. 

[SassyPants]

Jeremy gives off the vibe that he thinks he is better than  and superior to everyone else associated with Duggarville, perhaps, even Jinger.

[AtlanticTug]

Jeremy is far too curated and deliberate to deal with the unpredictability of Derick. They'd never work together.

[Carm_88]

On 3/28/2019 at 3:07 PM, SassyPants said:

I believe that Jeremy ( and Dillard too) can see the flaws in how their wives were raised and do not intend to follow that path. There’s sheltering and protecting kids and then there’s cloistering and retarding the appropriate growth of kids, and the Duggars have done the latter. 

That may be true for Jeremy because he has an image that he wants to project, but Derick said that Jill would be home schooling. Even if she only did it for the early, say K-6, I think that the kids would be super far behind if they were put in school after that. Jill doesn't have much education herself and Derick isn't interested in anything but himself and the way he was forcing Israel and Sam to listen as he read the bible; he doesn't appear like he would be a very good teacher to keep them engaged in what they are supposed to be learning. 

[MoonFace]

44 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

Jeremy is far too curated and deliberate to deal with the unpredictability of Derick. They'd never work together.

Jeremy having a conversation with Derick is like someone having a battle of the wits with the unarmed.  ?

[Beermeet]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Jeremy gives off the vibe that he thinks he is better than  and superior to everyone else associated with Duggarville, perhaps, even Jinger.

He got what he wanted with Jinger. Considering some of the other marriages,  it seems Jinger got what she wanted.  Jessa did well with this match.  

[Satan'sFortress]

1 hour ago, AtlanticTug said:

Jeremy is far too curated and deliberate to deal with the unpredictability of Derick. They'd never work together.

Well, now all I can think about is yet another Duggar spin-off:  "The Fundie Odd Couple" staring Derick and Jeremy. 

Quote

On November 13, Felix Unger Jeremy Vuolo was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison Derick Dillard. Several years earlier, Madison's Dillard's wife had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

 

[nst]

On 3/28/2019 at 10:37 AM, SassyPants said:

Here’s what I think about Jeremy. I think he is religious and has some abhorrent views/beliefs. I think he found his balance in religion after having some fun, rather liberating  young, adult years. I think he very much was attracted to the Duggar name and fame. He likes a pretty face as much as the next guy his age. I think he thinks JB is unsophisticated and a country bumpkin. I’d bet that the Voulo kids may have some homeschooling, maybe in the early years, and then they’ll be off to a religious school and college. I believe that Jeremy ( and Dillard too) can see the flaws in how their wives were raised and do not intend to follow that path. There’s sheltering and protecting kids and then there’s cloistering and retarding the appropriate growth of kids, and the Duggars have done the latter. 

jb and michelle sheltered and "protected" the kids to the point of it being unhealthy. 

 

[Baxter]

I think that Jeremy was definitely somewhat calculating in choosing Jinger for her fame as he thought it would help him with his career. That being said, I get the impression that he does love Jinger and that Jinger is quite thrilled to be married to Jeremy and loves him too. Whether or not that lasts, who knows. Even in non-fundie marriages, it's possible to represent your marriage as one that is happy and then suddenly the couple is getting a divorce. They just weren't sharing their issues with other people.

They have horrible beliefs and I very much doubt that they will move away from those. However, I think it is quite possible that Jeremy at some point will want his kids to get a better education than Jinger can provide, which would certainly be a good thing for their kids. They will also live a more worldly existence than Jinger did. That doesn't necessarily mean that their kids will be any more liberal than their parents. But it does give them more of a shot of widening their world view and potentially disagreeing with their parents' awful beliefs.

[Pecansforeveryone]

If Felicity and her siblings do end up better educated than Jinger and working even part-time jobs that gives them the tools for possible independent living and not an inevitable destiny of being a SAHD/SAHS. I am not saying Felicity and her siblings will break free. Just that they might have access to tools/resources that could make it a possibility. 

[luv2laugh]

I don’t believe that any of the Duggar wives (I’m calling them all Duggar wives although they obviously have different last names) will raise their children as stay at home daughters. Aside from Lauren and Kendra (who knows what they will decide), I see them sending all of their kids to college. As submissive as Anna is, Josh used to post on Instagram about college so I see him wanting their kids to go. 

I wish that the Duggar wives would try to branch off more from their husbands as the married Bates wives have.

Edited March 30, 2019 by luv2laugh

[Kelsey]

On 3/28/2019 at 12:32 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I think Jeremy had his sights set on Jana at 1st, she was pretty, softly well spoken someone elegant and only 2 years younger than him. I think he realized quickly that she wasn't meek and malleable, his only other option at the time was Jinger, and she was a perfect match, she wanted a strong headship that would buy her pretty clothes and take her to the city.  She got what she dreamed for and so did he. 

Been and Jessa met Jeremy in Texas while traveling. Jessa thought Jinger would like Jeremy and had Been invite him to Arkansas. Jeremy didn't seek out Jana bit settle for meek Jinger. Jeremy and Jinger were set-up by Jessa(and Been).

[nst]

13 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

If Felicity and her siblings do end up better educated than Jinger and working even part-time jobs that gives them the tools for possible independent living and not an inevitable destiny of being a SAHD/SAHS. I am not saying Felicity and her siblings will break free. Just that they might have access to tools/resources that could make it a possibility. 

i don't think jeremy or even ben to a degree want to do what JB and Michelle has done...In terms of creating such a chaos that things are not structured (duggar time, etc). JB and Michelle raised a cult whereas the other two men are raising something else, a cult yes, but all together different, when you add strangers and inlaws into the mix who won't 24/7 be like them things will change dramatically.

As well as JB was shrewd with real estate, the in laws are just a different thing all together. 

[NakedKnees]

2 hours ago, nst said:

i don't think jeremy or even ben to a degree want to do what JB and Michelle has done...In terms of creating such a chaos that things are not structured (duggar time, etc). JB and Michelle raised a cult whereas the other two men are raising something else, a cult yes, but all together different, when you add strangers and inlaws into the mix who won't 24/7 be like them things will change dramatically.

As well as JB was shrewd with real estate, the in laws are just a different thing all together. 

I agree, although I do think Ben seems to follow Jessa's lead more than Jeremy follows Jinger. 

I think Ben, Jeremy, Abbie, and Derrick are also interested in having lives outside of church and home more than I've ever seen with Michelle and Jim Bob. They seem to desire friendships and experiences outside of their family, as long as they're fundie compatible. I don't know what that's worth, but I think it's different from JB and Michelle (and, to be frank, the other Duggar second generation spouses too).

[Vivi_music]

On the subject of Duggar-in-laws (either DIL or SIL): Lauren and her sister Lily also took a few classes in college IIRC. It seemed Lauren stopped because she realized it was not for her, and Lily continued her studies. But it is still nice to see she had the opportunity to try. Her family did not restrain her nor her sister from choosing college if they wanted.

If her and Sia were to have kids, maybe she would not be completly closed off to college.

[livinginthelight]

People from out of the area have a big misconception of what SoCal is actually like. For example, my cousins from the midwest recently visited and they wanted to "see Hollywood." After spending a week here and seeing the main attractions, they now understand that "Hollywood" as people tend to conceptualize it, is more a concept than a specific area. We are very very spread out down here and we're actually one big city with many different flavored suburbs/bedroom communities. Yes, there are people in the industry and there are so many that it's not a big deal. I admit to getting a kick about telling people things like "____ and _____were on my kid's soccer team" but it ends there and life goes on. If Jeremy and Jinger are hoping for fame out here, they won't find it, other than perhaps among a few isolated homeschool groups and maybe at their church. I have to believe that they are coming out for reasons other than fame and fortune.

Have they said exactly where they will live?  The church and seminary are in Sunland, which is kind of in the middle of nowhere comparatively. Certainly not an urban center. If they live in a more urban center such as Burbank, Glendale, or Pasadena, they will be 20 minutes from church (and still north of the city of Los Angeles.)  People do live 20 minutes from their places of worship/study but it's not ideal for building relationships at church.

Either way, it is IMPOSSIBLE to live in a bubble in SoCal. I'm glad they are going to get exposed to other ideas and types of people.

[nst]

2 hours ago, livinginthelight said:

People from out of the area have a big misconception of what SoCal is actually like. For example, my cousins from the midwest recently visited and they wanted to "see Hollywood." After spending a week here and seeing the main attractions, they now understand that "Hollywood" as people tend to conceptualize it, is more a concept than a specific area.

our trip to tuscany actually got cancelled and we are coming to California and the first stop is malibu - now i understand malibu is tinier than the place i live.- then we are off to laguna and san diego...both i have seen ..but malibu is on my bucket list....so i am excited 

Edited March 31, 2019 by nst

[lumpentheologie]

Is that the fist you're planning on smiting the evil Catholics with, Jeremy? 

I just can't with him anymore. 

[eveandadam]

On 3/29/2019 at 8:24 PM, Beermeet said:

He got what he wanted with Jinger. Considering some of the other marriages,  it seems Jinger got what she wanted.  Jessa did well with this match.  

Definitely! I think he may have started out having an eye on Jana but maybe found she was too headstrong for him. I definitely see he picked Jinger because she is very submissive and meak (nothing wrong with that, though). He seems to be a man who wants to have things his way or no way. Jinger can fullfill that and will probably never say no to him. I'm sensing a little passive agressiveness from him towards Felicity, though. I'm hope I'm wrong! It seems that he has an issue with not being the center of a attention anymore, all the time.

But in the end Jinger and Jeremy seem well adjusted and might go for only 2-4 children.

Edited March 31, 2019 by eveandadam

[nst]

at this point i am surprised he hasn't waxed his hair on his wrist for the absolute PERFECT PICTURE