JinJer 48: California Love

[Drala]

I just did a lit review of the research on problematic social media use for my boss & other behavioral health leadership in my department.  It was somewhat eye-opening.   While it's debatable whether there is such a thing as social networking site (SNS) addiction, there is empirical evidence of some very real threats to mental health well-being with inappropriate use.   The jury is still out on the exact nature of the relationship between of problematic social media use and psychiatric disorders.   For example, there is a correlation between problematic use and depression, but it is not clear whether misuse is a consequence of  a pre-disposing depression or whether misuse leads to depressive symptoms.   It's probably bi-directional, but there's not a lot of solid research yet.  

Despite the controversy over classifying problematic SNS use as an addictive disorder, there is a growing body of literature that presents evidence for viewing it as a behavioral disorder similar to gambling disorder.  Unfortunately, there is little research on prevention or treatment of SNS addiction.  There is some interesting research on SNS use that used magnetic resonance imaging to investigate changes in neural systems of the brain.  The study concluded that excess social media use is associated with a reduction in gray matter volume in the reward system (amygdala-striatial).   One of the issues raised by the study, however, is how to quantify "excess" social media use. 

 

[OyToTheVey]

4 minutes ago, Drala said:

I just did a lit review of the research on problematic social media use for my boss & other behavioral health leadership in my department.  It was somewhat eye-opening.   While it's debatable whether there is such a thing as social networking site (SNS) addiction, there is empirical evidence of some very real threats to mental health well-being with inappropriate use.   The jury is still out on the exact nature of the relationship between of problematic social media use and psychiatric disorders.   For example, there is a correlation between problematic use and depression, but it is not clear whether misuse is a consequence of  a pre-disposing depression or whether misuse leads to depressive symptoms.   It's probably bi-directional, but there's not a lot of solid research yet.  

Despite the controversy over classifying problematic SNS use as an addictive disorder, there is a growing body of literature that presents evidence for viewing it as a behavioral disorder similar to gambling disorder.  Unfortunately, there is little research on prevention or treatment of SNS addiction.  There is some interesting research on SNS use that used magnetic resonance imaging to investigate changes in neural systems of the brain.  The study concluded that excess social media use is associated with a reduction in gray matter volume in the reward system (amygdala-striatial).   One of the issues raised by the study, however, is how to quantify "excess" social media use. 

 

It's also seems to be causing shorter attention spans in children. When I did early intervention most kids would get a therapist that passed the time with ipads but then that child also ended up with an OT. I've studied kids a bit and limiting screen time is crucial.

[nolongerIFBx]

On 3/27/2019 at 9:41 PM, mirele said:

I'm just going to say that I have a real hate-on when I hear  the Roloff name, because I remember a girl I knew at church who got shipped off to the Rebekah Home for Girls in about 1978 for being "rebellious." She was allowed to come back on a weekend pass and told me that she'd figured out the best way to deal with the situation was to be even holier than thou as a way to stick it to the man, as it were. You know how the holier than thou game works, right? You can be more holy than anyone else and be annoying to leadership. But they can't say, "Pray less" because that would look bad. I fell out of contact with her after that, but I hope she got her full revenge on her parents.

Here's an article about the Roloff homes. They were real shitholes. https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/08/teen-home-hell-abusive-religious-reform-school/

You are 100% right about the Roloff Homes but that is Lester Roloff not the Roloffs of Little People, Big World.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lester_Roloff

Not sure if you thought they were the same or just the same last name made you think of Roloff Homes.

[AliceInFundyland]

Virgin Mobile - I have used them since I started with phones and so that may not be possible anymore. However from general browsing on their website I believe that they still are at the cheapest end at 40/45 and they have decent phones on sale all the time. I do have unlimited (or close) on slightly slower speeds. Worth looking at what they havem

[Satan'sFortress]

I am grateful that my kids were born before the smartphone & tablet became practically ubiquitous.  I was out to eat with my kids the other day, enjoying their witty banter, and at the next table were two young moms, each with a baby--one was probably 18 months, the other was probably 2.  The babies were both holding & using smartphones for the entire time I was there.  It made me so sad for all of them---missing out on time that they will never get back.

I have a family member who lets their child use a phone or table at every meal.  They say that is the only way the child will eat & also the only way the couple can have a conversation together.

[HereticHick]

Is there a reason for this fawning post? It just feels out of nowhere.

 

[Seculardaisy]

I have to say - and I know other stuff have expressed similar sentiments  above - but Jinger really and truly speaks so clearly from the viewpoint of a woman who grew up indoctrinated in a cult. It was so glaring when she was a guest on the Roloff podcast, how few original or interesting thoughts she has. Life is all Jesus, caring for Felicity, and blessings of the lord. 

It was very uncomfortable to listen to the differences in personality and intellect between Jinger and Jeremy and really made me feel more certain that a big draw for him is how agreeable and impressionable she is. It made me feel icky. 

[HideousGreenShirt]

"Your training was one not merely of words, but of actions."

Like beating you and your siblings into submission? Treating you and the other older girls as baby-raisers and house slaves?

I really hope that Jinger and Jeremy do not aspire to raise Felicity the same way. 

[VelociRapture]

3 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

I am grateful that my kids were born before the smartphone & tablet became practically ubiquitous.  I was out to eat with my kids the other day, enjoying their witty banter, and at the next table were two young moms, each with a baby--one was probably 18 months, the other was probably 2.  The babies were both holding & using smartphones for the entire time I was there.  It made me so sad for all of them---missing out on time that they will never get back.

I have a family member who lets their child use a phone or table at every meal.  They say that is the only way the child will eat & also the only way the couple can have a conversation together.

In defense of those moms - they appear to be people you don’t know personally. Because of that you don’t know what kind of days, weeks, or months they’ve had with their families. It’s entirely possible that they used screen time that specific time as a special treat because they desperately needed a break and that was the best option at the moment. I’ve done the same with my daughter, especially during Tax Season when I’m basically on my own with the my kid and dog all the time because my husband works 10+ hour days, seven days a week. Is it ideal? No. Is it the healthiest choice? No. But is it going to provide me with at least 30 minutes of badly needed time to get stuff done or just sit and not have to hear someone yelling my name? Yep. 

Your relatives are another story altogether. If that’s literally the only way their kid will let them eat then they need to figure out why so they can find a way to change that. I just wish people wouldn’t be so quick to judge strangers. Being a parent is really tough even under ideal circumstances. 

Edited April 18, 2019 by VelociRapture

[TheMustardCardigan]

Despite her affinity for modern fashion and Instagram aesthetics, I'd argue that Jinger is one of the deepest buried into the cult out of the adult siblings. At least Jessa and Jill have the ability to sound like relatively normal people (even if Jill is mega awkward) and have definable personalities. Jinger just soaks up whatever's around her. She went from being Jessa's shadow to Jeremy's sheep.

[Satan'sFortress]

47 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

In defense of those moms - they appear to be people you don’t know personally. Because of that you don’t know what kind of days, weeks, or months they’ve had with their families. It’s entirely possible that they used screen time that specific time as a special treat because they desperately needed a break and that was the best option at the moment. I’ve done the same with my daughter, especially during Tax Season when I’m basically on my own with the my kid and dog all the time because my husband works 10+ hour days, seven days a week. Is it ideal? No. Is it the healthiest choice? No. But is it going to provide me with at least 30 minutes of badly needed time to get stuff done or just sit and not have to hear someone yelling my name? Yep. 

Your relatives are another story altogether. If that’s literally the only way their kid will let them eat then they need to figure out why so they can find a way to change that. I just wish people wouldn’t be so quick to judge strangers. Being a parent is really tough even under ideal circumstances. 

For sure---and I know how judgey that sounded.  There were PLENTY of times that I sat my kids in front of a video (or three) so that I could have a mommy time out.  I remember those days very clearly---my husband often traveled & I was the solo parent, so I feel your pain. You may well be right, and normally I try not to be so harsh.  I think what struck me with this case was that the kids were SO young, and it was the whole time. But still,  a fair reminder!

[VelociRapture]

28 minutes ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

Despite her affinity for modern fashion and Instagram aesthetics, I'd argue that Jinger is one of the deepest buried into the cult out of the adult siblings. At least Jessa and Jill have the ability to sound like relatively normal people (even if Jill is mega awkward) and have definable personalities. Jinger just soaks up whatever's around her. She went from being Jessa's shadow to Jeremy's sheep.

Exactly this. Jill and Jessa both definitely have had their moments of sounding like members of a cult, most notably during the horrid Megyn Kelly interview they did defending their family. That said, they both don’t sound like that on a regular basis. Jinger, on the other hand, not only looks a lot like her mother, but she sounds and seems to act a lot like her at times too. I don’t even know how to describe it, but I just have a gut feeling that she’s much more rigid in her beliefs than she’d like people to believe.

If the Duggars were each a type of food I’d honestly say that Jinger was Tofu because she just seems to absorb the beliefs and ideas (the “flavors”) of the closest people surrounding her. That used to be Jessa and her parents, but now it’s Jeremy. We don’t really know her and maybe part of this is just her idea of what it means to be a good Pastor’s wife, but she strikes me as someone who has never had an original thought enter her mind and I find myself wondering she’s really capable of critical thought. 

[Chickenbutt]

Okay, gonna sound old and cranky here. When I raised my kids there was no such thing as "screen time" except the TV, until  they were young teenagers. When we took our kids out to dinner, we expected them to behave (not that it always happened) and we conversed with them at their level. We reinforced table manners and we looked at food pictures on the menu and talked about it. They were usually given coloring pages and crayons that kept them occupied. If we wanted a night out alone, we hired a babysitter. We did limit the TV screen time, and sent them outside to play in the backyard. Even in the heat of summer in Arizona. Sunblock on and out the door. 

I will never get used to seeing babies (!) with iPhones, tablets, whatever in their hands. It may be a sign of the times and I may be woefully behind the times, but I see no good coming of this. 

My littlest grand daughter who will be 2 tomorrow, plays with her mom and dads phones. Interestingly enough, she never touches mine, even tho it is easily within her reach. She also never touches my laptop. I think early on, I told her no and that was that. 

Edited April 18, 2019 by Chickenbutt
spelling

[TeaELSee]

4 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

I have to say - and I know other stuff have expressed similar sentiments  above - but Jinger really and truly speaks so clearly from the viewpoint of a woman who grew up indoctrinated in a cult. It was so glaring when she was a guest on the Roloff podcast, how few original or interesting thoughts she has. Life is all Jesus, caring for Felicity, and blessings of the lord. 

It was very uncomfortable to listen to the differences in personality and intellect between Jinger and Jeremy and really made me feel more certain that a big draw for him is how agreeable and impressionable she is. It made me feel icky. 

I’ve always felt that they have a Eliza Doolittle/Professor Higgins type relationship. Jeremy hit the jackpot if that was what he was looking for.

I agree that Jinger is very immersed in the cult she was raised in. She uses the terms, “walked through”, fellowship, blessing and “laid upon my heart” with regular frequency on the show.

[Iamtheway]

4 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

I am grateful that my kids were born before the smartphone & tablet became practically ubiquitous.  I was out to eat with my kids the other day, enjoying their witty banter, and at the next table were two young moms, each with a baby--one was probably 18 months, the other was probably 2.  The babies were both holding & using smartphones for the entire time I was there.  It made me so sad for all of them---missing out on time that they will never get back.

I have a family member who lets their child use a phone or table at every meal.  They say that is the only way the child will eat & also the only way the couple can have a conversation together.

When Miniway was little we would go out for coffee or lunch quite often. We would let him look at the phone once he got tired of sitting still if we were not ready to leave yet. Now at five he often lasts the whole meal and it’s really fun to go out with him and sit and chat. 

There are no phones at dinner in our house but I get what they mean about having a conversation. Miniway is never quiet. Never! We’re constantly reminding him not to interrupt and to wait for his turn to speak. But he always has ”just one more thing” to say, or if we’re extra lucky sing.   

16 minutes ago, Chickenbutt said:

My littlest grand daughter who will be 2 tomorrow, plays with her mom and dads phones. Interesting enough, she never touches mine, even tho it is easily within her reach. She also never touches my laptop. I think early on, I told her no and that was that. 

Miniway never asks to use anyone else’s phone. It’s like he still doesn’t understand that Youtube works at Mr Way’s phone as well. 

[AtlanticTug]

3 hours ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

Despite her affinity for modern fashion and Instagram aesthetics, I'd argue that Jinger is one of the deepest buried into the cult out of the adult siblings. At least Jessa and Jill have the ability to sound like relatively normal people (even if Jill is mega awkward) and have definable personalities. Jinger just soaks up whatever's around her. She went from being Jessa's shadow to Jeremy's sheep.

Yes, Jinger is the human equivalent of tofu. She tastes like nothing on her own but can be made to absorb virtually any flavor.

HA! I just saw the same comment from VelociRapture. 

Edited April 19, 2019 by AtlanticTug

[fluffernutter]

I don't think they will have a lot of kids. Jeremy wasn't raised that way, so why would he suddenly be inspired to have a  lot of kids? Plus he is the center of the universe in his mind. Too many babies would take too much focus off of him. And because she is so complacent, she will go along with whatever her man says.

As far as kids and devices- our kids didn't grow up with them, but by the time our oldest was a teen all of her friends were getting cell phones. The flip kind, mid 2000's. We made her wait until she was 15, which she thought was pure torture. Her siblings ended up getting them earlier than their 15th bday, as we eventually got rid of our land-line. She is still bitter that she had to wait the longest. All of our younger nephews though have their own phones and i-pads. It's strange- when my kids hung out at grandmas, they were always outside running around. This generation is inside all doing their own thing on their devices. It seems kind of sad, but times change I guess.

[PainfullyAware]

Was this already covered from the podcast interview-

"Jeremy added: 'I felt safe with [Jinger], because I knew, if I can lead her as her husband in the word, she'll follow.'" (Daily Fail).

So, that's confirmation if we need any that her main attraction to him was being pliable and docile (barf).

When it comes to social media, I probably spend too much time looking at things but it only comes to maybe half an hour a day. My husband and I are trying to stop using our phones while watching TV, which is just a silly amount of distraction!

[nastyhobbitses]

12 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

I am grateful that my kids were born before the smartphone & tablet became practically ubiquitous.  I was out to eat with my kids the other day, enjoying their witty banter, and at the next table were two young moms, each with a baby--one was probably 18 months, the other was probably 2.  The babies were both holding & using smartphones for the entire time I was there.  It made me so sad for all of them---missing out on time that they will never get back.

I have a family member who lets their child use a phone or table at every meal.  They say that is the only way the child will eat & also the only way the couple can have a conversation together.

TBH, people said the same sorts of things about TV. I guess I'll never have a true bond with my mom or be a well-rounded person because sometimes she'd stick me in front of a Disney movie to shut me the hell up when I was little. 

As for the family member, yeah, that's not on. That's a discipline/healthy habits issue and they're using the tablet as a crutch. 

[JordynDarby5]

43 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

TBH, people said the same sorts of things about TV. I guess I'll never have a true bond with my mom or be a well-rounded person because sometimes she'd stick me in front of a Disney movie to shut me the hell up when I was little. 

As for the family member, yeah, that's not on. That's a discipline/healthy habits issue and they're using the tablet as a crutch. 

I remember hearing the same crap growing up. Oh, no all you do is watch TV that's bad. It'll rot your brain, it'll corrupt your or the violence will. Right because Mom and I never bonded while watching our favorite TV shows and movies together. That certainly never sparked endless discussions about Gilmore Girls, Leverage and trying to figure out what was happening on LOST. Dad and I certainly never watched movies together or documentaries on the History Channel (back when they used to have those) discussing various wars and weapons, or endless discussions about the movies we watched especially Star Wars. Or the three of us watching American Pickers and talking about different stuff they've found. My family watched TV all the time. Watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy every night during dinner. Guessing answers and solving puzzles. We survived. I'm not an outdoorsy person. Even as a kid I hated playing outside. I preferred playing inside. I love stories. Whether in book form, play, movie or TV. A favorite day of mine is still Gilmore Girls marathon, or Leverage, Psych,  the Librarians, Law & Order or so many other shows or movies.

[Smee]

Eh, my kids are 7, 5 and 2. Right now they’re crawling around the front yard pretending to be cats and dogs. In 5mins it will be “movie time” which means 30-45min in front of the tv while I cook dinner. It’s part of their daily routine, and sure, some would say I should get them to help me cook or whatever, but for me it’s much easier to have a set time of day where they watch tv than to have them asking me all day. On weekends and school holidays they get more “screen time” (including iPad games) because kids are exhausting and it’s easy. But they also jump on the trampoline, go for bush walks, read stories multiple times a day, do jigsaw puzzles and lego and craft. My eldest and I have played 8 games of chess today. He’s more of an inside kid who will happily spend hours in his room with a novel, but he’s also in a kids soccer team and rides his bike a lot. When we go out to dinner or wait in the doctors office I have a little pencil case and art book in my bag, or we play “I spy”.

And yet, at church this morning (Good Friday) my 2yr old had a loud tantrum asking for “iPad” ?. It was less than an hour long service. We hardly ever take the iPad to church with us. But she’d heard her older sister ask me if we could take it before we left (& I said no, so I didn’t even have the damn thing) and that was what she got fixated on looking for in my bag while everyone was sitting quietly listening to prayer. Awkwaaaard.

So anyway, I know my generation is the first to have this specific parenting challenge (especially the “is it different if they’re playing educational games that teach them to read/add?”) but most of the parents I know are very conscious of this and of the judgment they receive from strangers who only see a few minutes of a 24hr day. Some do overuse it and some feel guiltier about that than others. And sometimes, a kid who you’d hope wouldn’t know the WORD “iPad” yet will have a loud tantrum in the midst of a church service and make their mother feel like a failure.

[Melissa1977]

I forbid tablets or phones at table. I can't stand it. Meals ate to talk and to enjoy. But it's MY point of view and I'm not going to critisize parents doing theopposite way. Because actually I allow my kids too much screen time, which I'm ashamed of, but I need time for myself or time to do chores quietly. It's probably a parenting mistake, but I need it, as others need to have a quiet meal.

[BernRul]

The thing about kids and phones is that we don't know a lot about the long term effects of it yet, but the emerging research is not good. It's too soon to say for sure, but so far the research indicates that it is bad for children's development.

I'm sorry, but there is no reason a baby or toddler should be on it. That's a very crucial age where they need input from the world, they need calm (games and youtube is sensory overload) and most importantly, they need language from adults. Shoving a smartphone in front of an 18 month old  for 1 hour (or however long the entire meal was) means that child is not hearing language which developmental studies show is how their brains grow. They also are not learning self control and self regulation. The ability to have self control as young as 4 years old is a reliable predictor of future success as a student and adult. How can a toddler who is given a tablet every time she's in public or acts up supposed to learn self-regulation? 

It's one thing for a 10 year old to play a game on a phone for 10 minutes. It's another thing for a baby to be on a phone for an entire meal.

That's not even getting into the content of the phones. Sit a  2 year old in front of Seasame Street for 20 minutes, and you know your baby is getting age appropriate educational programming. Give the same kid access to YouTube Kids and you don't know what they are watching. There are some disturbing af videos of YouTube Kids, including weird Disney/marvel kidnapping videos and videos where adults talk about suicide. There are many and they slip through the censors, and parents have no idea. Let a 9 year old boy play Fortnite with his friends for 30 minutes and he is socializing, and learning some logic and strategic skills. He's using his brain still. Give the same 9 year old video games on his phone and he's not. By design, 90% of phone games are simple, colorful, and addictive, meant to give players dopamine rushes not unlike gambling and other risky behavior. 

That's not even getting into how researchers believe that suicide rates among young girls has skyrocketed thanks to social media.

I'm not judging anyone who gives their kids some access, as long as it's age appropriate and balanced. But I can't stand seeing kids harmed, and all the evidence so far indicates that too much is harmful for kids. 

I'm on my phone now (oh sweet irony) so I can't put links, but if anyone wants to see the links about kids development or screen time research, let me know. 

Edited April 19, 2019 by BernRul

[VelociRapture]

4 hours ago, Smee said:

Eh, my kids are 7, 5 and 2. Right now they’re crawling around the front yard pretending to be cats and dogs. In 5mins it will be “movie time” which means 30-45min in front of the tv while I cook dinner. It’s part of their daily routine, and sure, some would say I should get them to help me cook or whatever, but for me it’s much easier to have a set time of day where they watch tv than to have them asking me all day. On weekends and school holidays they get more “screen time” (including iPad games) because kids are exhausting and it’s easy. But they also jump on the trampoline, go for bush walks, read stories multiple times a day, do jigsaw puzzles and lego and craft. My eldest and I have played 8 games of chess today. He’s more of an inside kid who will happily spend hours in his room with a novel, but he’s also in a kids soccer team and rides his bike a lot. When we go out to dinner or wait in the doctors office I have a little pencil case and art book in my bag, or we play “I spy”.

And yet, at church this morning (Good Friday) my 2yr old had a loud tantrum asking for “iPad” ?. It was less than an hour long service. We hardly ever take the iPad to church with us. But she’d heard her older sister ask me if we could take it before we left (& I said no, so I didn’t even have the damn thing) and that was what she got fixated on looking for in my bag while everyone was sitting quietly listening to prayer. Awkwaaaard.

So anyway, I know my generation is the first to have this specific parenting challenge (especially the “is it different if they’re playing educational games that teach them to read/add?”) but most of the parents I know are very conscious of this and of the judgment they receive from strangers who only see a few minutes of a 24hr day. Some do overuse it and some feel guiltier about that than others. And sometimes, a kid who you’d hope wouldn’t know the WORD “iPad” yet will have a loud tantrum in the midst of a church service and make their mother feel like a failure.

My daughter is 2, so her phone usage is very limited right now. We used to show her prescreened videos on YouTube (mainly during diaper changes once she started to really squirm - it was a safety thing), but then we discovered the PBSKids app. Now she gets to watch short Daniel Tiger clips through that when she tries going on the potty because it makes it a positive experience for her. Sometimes she wants us to read books instead, so what she gets really depends on her mood. Most of the time she doesn’t get access to our phones in public because she’s more interested in watching other people and we’re able to tag team if she suddenly decides sitting still is boring. The last time she used the phone in public was when I had to take her with me to have bloodwork done. I had no one to watch her for me and it had to be done because my health (and now the health of my fetus) is important too. She sat calmly and quietly on my lap while I got that done and then gave the phone back after a few minutes when it was all over. 

She has gotten more television time then I’d like recently. She used to get 30 minutes of Daniel Tiger in the morning so I could get ready and 30 minutes of Daniel in the afternoon while I cooked dinner and took care of the dog - but pregnancy exhaustion during Tax Season (when my husband is pretty much never home) means she got way more screen time then we’d like in the past month. We should be able to cut back now that Tax Season is over and I’m feeling a tiny bit better, but I’m not going to lie - I felt simultaneously guilty because it’s lazy parenting and incredibly grateful because I genuinely had trouble functioning. Regardless, I figure she’s still happy and healthy and that’s all I can really ask for. 

Each generation of parents has faced changes in technology or circumstances that presents a challenge to parenting. For my generation it’s smart phones and tablets. For my parents and grandparents it was likely television. For my great-grandparents it might have been the radio. At some point in time people probably complained about how parents let their kids read books too much and it obviously can’t be good for them. This is a conversation that’s pretty much as old as humanity.

The way I look at it parents should try to limit access to age appropriate quantity and content, but they should also just do their best in their unique situation as well and forgive themselves if they fall short at times*. And I think previous parenting generations should keep in mind that the world in which they raised their children is not the world in which children are currently being raised and not everyone has access to the resources they might have been lucky enough to have had - for instance, safe outdoor space at home to play in or trusted and reliable babysitters to watch the kids when the parents go out for the night. It’s very easy to sit back and simply pass judgement on newer parents for not upholding the standards of prior generations, but it’s much more useful to offer a sympathetic ear and legitimate advice when it’s requested (and I can’t stress that last part enough - no parent enjoys a continuous stream of unsolicited advice and criticism.)  

*This is actually my mom’s all time favorite piece of parenting advice to give new parents - that you’ll go into parenting with all sorts of ideas about what type of parent you’ll be and you will fail at managing that ideal every single day. It’s normal and it’s ok. Just do your best with your specific circumstances and your kids will likely turn out ok anyways.

[Screamapillar]

40 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Each generation of parents has faced changes in technology or circumstances that presents a challenge to parenting. For my generation it’s smart phones and tablets. For my parents and grandparents it was likely television. For my great-grandparents it might have been the radio. At some point in time people probably complained about how parents let their kids read books too much and it obviously can’t be good for them. This is a conversation that’s pretty much as old as humanity.

My Mom said anytime my Grandma had to take her along to something like a doctor's appointment or a day of boring errands when she was a kid, she got a new Archie comic to keep her entertained. We had Gameboys for car rides. I'm sure back in cavemen days cave parents were giving their cave kids fun new rocks to look at for a few minutes to preserve their cave parent sanity every once in awhile.

My daughter doesn't watch much TV during the day, she honestly isn't too super interested in it for more than about 5 minutes at a time, but I do let her watch stuff on my phone when I take her along with me to her baby brother's doctor appointments. None of the doctors that have observed her doing this have shamed me as a parent for letting her have a screen for a few minutes. They usually comment positively on how she's singing and dancing along with songs and talking about what the characters on her show are doing. We were actually those parents, when we only had one child, who hardly ever let her look at screens. But when you're outnumbered and shit needs to get done, you gotta do what you gotta do.