Bro Gary Hawkins 10: Nouvelle Cuisine

[Briefly]

I like to dress up for church, it's jeans and shirts to work mainly lately so I don't get many chances to wear my nicer clothes. But I do not care at all what other people wear because church is not about that!  Somehow, I don't quite think that Gary is on the same page!  I guess if Gary is right (he's not!) then it's just about show and not substance.

I really enjoyed seeing him get called out.  He turned tail and ran, as the expression goes.  He was not prepared to be talked back to or to be shown so plainly that he is wrong.  It was actually kind of fun!

[Granwych]

6 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@keepercjr, thank you for the screenshots! 

"prince in the pudding brother i judge what i see with a fruit"

That is such a perfect example of Weenese! It needs to be printed or embroidered on something; maybe a big bib to keep the pink gravy off one's shirt?

I'll vote for a gag  on his mouth.

[thoughtful]

"prince in the pudding brother i judge what i see with a fruit"

really needs to be the title of the next thread.

BTW, it's one of my little pet peeves that people even say "the proof is in the pudding." I know -- language drifts, sayings get abbreviated -- but it doesn't actually make sense.

The original expression is "the proof of the pudding is in the eating." In other words, something may look wonderful, but, if it doesn't follow through, doesn't serve its actual purpose (i.e. tasting good, in the case of a dessert), its pretty looks are meaningless.

 

ETA -- I think we need a visual for the Prince in the pudding with a fruit. He could follow Gary around like Beansie follows Jill!

Edited May 3, 2019 by thoughtful

[keepercjr]

Those who try to have a somewhat intelligent or reasonable conversation or debate with Gary get shut down really fast.  He basically just starts screaming "KJB! KJB!" and making barely legible comments.  He couldn't come up with any passages like the guy asked and then started attacking him.  This supposed preacher, who says he has read the bible cover to cover several times, can't handle anyone questioning anything.  He is dumber than a box of rocks yet because he screams KJB he is taken as some mouthpiece of god and gets to scream at people all across the east.  I can't see how his brand of Christianity will convert a single person.  He only goes and screams at people who already share his viewpoint or they wouldn't be in that type of church to begin with. 

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

Those who try to have a somewhat intelligent or reasonable conversation or debate with Gary get shut down really fast.  He basically just starts screaming "KJB! KJB!" and making barely legible comments.

I don't know why they bother, given that the quality of his writing reflects what's going on upstairs, but am kind of glad they do.  If he pisses off enough preachers then maybe his revival invites will trickle down to zero.

[wallysmommy]

I have this mental image of his fat little thumbs going at lightning speed typing nonsense as he huffs and puffs in anger.

[PumaLover]

OK folks, Sis Puma has a little too much time on her paws tonight and came up with this masterpiece. I call it, "Prince in the Pudding with Fruits." Please enjoy.

[catlady]

While it won’t be nearly as funny as @PumaLover‘s photo, I have started my sampler and I should be able to finish tonight (because I’m boring and prefer to stay in on Friday nights.....)  

[EyesOpen]

This is very old but not completely irrelevant. This is the early movement that has now made bro Gary’s, Jill Rods... Duggars, etc...

https://youtu.be/kttVCbTrDLw

[thoughtful]

49 minutes ago, EyesOpen said:

This is very old but not completely irrelevant. This is the early movement that has now made bro Gary’s, Jill Rods... Duggars, etc...

https://youtu.be/kttVCbTrDLw

You're right that the style of preaching is old. So is the tradition of having screaming child preachers. It is much older than this video, in fact. And I agree that it is the source of Gary's style.

I picture it as first becoming popular in the 1920s, but it may go back further than that. I tried to search for the history, but haven't found anything definitive yet.

I do know that presenting child preachers was one of Aimee Semple McPherson's techniques.

More here:

 

An article with photos, starting on pg. 3, then jumping to pg. 16:

http://ifphc.org/pdf/Heritage/1996_01.pdf

https://muse.jhu.edu/book/46840

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uldine_Utley

http://www.voiceofhealing.info/05otherministries/walker.html

Little David Walker "levitating":

Spoiler

 

[smittykins]

20 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

Pretty sure bk stands for Burger King, whose motto is (or at least used to be) "Have it your way"

*Walks away singing “Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us...”*

[MayMay1123]

can anyone tell me how david walker "levitated"? that pic is pretty interesting, but i couldn't find anything on how it was done

 

[Coy Koi]

On 5/2/2019 at 10:39 AM, keepercjr said:

here is the full convo @Don'tlikekoolaid  posted about.

FFS, imagine not just trying to comprehend, but also CARING what Bro Gary is ever going on about. Like really try for a second to visualize how that would feel. What an an exasperating, tedious, pointless exercise that would be. I think I'd rather wear Pocketrocky earrings overnight. Green, ouchy ears can heal, but slamming your head against a brick wall might do permanent damage.

[keepercjr]

4 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

This is very old but not completely irrelevant. This is the early movement that has now made bro Gary’s, Jill Rods... Duggars, etc...

https://youtu.be/kttVCbTrDLw

I looked up the boy Duffey and the good news is that he and his sister (not sure about his brother) left the lifestyle!  He is still religious but pretty much the opposite of what his terrible parents tried to make him become.  His family didn't even come to his own wedding when he got married at 20 years old.

EDIT: Turns out his brother, Matthew, also left the lifestyle.  He is a boxer.  I hope their dad dies miserable and alone

Edited May 3, 2019 by keepercjr

[EyesOpen]

I’m seriously so glad you looked this up. I’m at work and I was thinking about that kid way more than I ought to have and wondered whatever became if him!

[Blessings of the Corn]

omg. Bro Gary is so gross, but he still makes me laugh tears. "Prince in the pudding"!!!!

[feministxtian]

Good ol' Bro Gary would have a (maybe fatal) heart attack if he ever came to my church. The dress code is "please wear clothes". The pastor, youth pastor (female), and most of the band have tattoos...like sleeves and shit. Pastor preaches wearing jeans, a shirt and tennis shoes (probably from Famous Footwear). 

Funny thing though...pastor DOES preach about sin...which is falling short of the ideal that Jesus gave. However, there's no fire and brimstone, we use a "modern" translation of the bible (NLT). And...for a fairly small church (about 400 people, no "membership" as such), we do a helluva lot in our city and around the world. A big one is sex trafficking, both here and abroad. In a certain country, our church, partnering with others, has built a few places for women coming out of that, both them and their children, where the women learn a skill and the children get an education. Here, they're helped with job skills, a safe place to live, rehab if needed. We also go into some of the really sketchy neighborhoods and provide safe places for the kids, help them with their homework, visit with families to see if there are needs to be met, and if so, find ways to meet those needs (jobs, transportation, rehab, etc). 

Can't see Bro Gary getting his hands dirty doing any of that shit. 

[thoughtful]

13 hours ago, PumaLover said:

OK folks, Sis Puma has a little too much time on her paws tonight and came up with this masterpiece. I call it, "Prince in the Pudding with Fruits." Please enjoy.

LOL!

If we ever have an FJ party, we must serve pudding and fruit, with these stuck in them:

Prince toppers

 

[catlady]

And Bro GHaw’s verbal nonsense has been immortalized:  

[Briefly]

10 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

This is very old but not completely irrelevant. This is the early movement that has now made bro Gary’s, Jill Rods... Duggars, etc...

https://youtu.be/kttVCbTrDLw

That poor kid, talk about a deer in the headlights expression on his face.  I noticed that Dad kept trying to answer for the boy when he was asked a question.  Once he did start preaching, he went from zero to screaming immediately.  It was pretty obvious to me that he was reciting what and how he had memorized.  I'm glad that both he and his brother got away.

[PumaLover]

7 hours ago, catlady said:

And Bro GHaw’s verbal nonsense has been immortalized:  

OMG @catlady I'm rolling with laughter. That is amazing!! I love the crown and the cherries and the beautiful frame and everything!

[FundamentallyShocked]

On 5/2/2019 at 2:12 PM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@keepercjr, thank you for the screenshots! 

"prince in the pudding brother i judge what i see with a fruit"

That is such a perfect example of Weenese! It needs to be printed or embroidered on something; maybe a big bib to keep the pink gravy off one's shirt?

I sent a pic of that quote to my daughter who was brave enough to follow Bro Gary. She gets my sense of humor. I see a new and fun family phrase here!

Go, Pastor Jeff Walter! You tried to fix Bro. Gary. It was hopeless, but you tried.

 

[Black Aliss]

23 hours ago, thoughtful said:

You're right that the style of preaching is old. So is the tradition of having screaming child preachers. It is much older than this video, in fact. And I agree that it is the source of Gary's style.

I picture it as first becoming popular in the 1920s, but it may go back further than that. I tried to search for the history, but haven't found anything definitive yet.

I do know that presenting child preachers was one of Aimee Semple McPherson's techniques.

More here:

 

An article with photos, starting on pg. 3, then jumping to pg. 16:

http://ifphc.org/pdf/Heritage/1996_01.pdf

https://muse.jhu.edu/book/46840

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uldine_Utley

http://www.voiceofhealing.info/05otherministries/walker.html

Little David Walker "levitating":

  Hide contents

 

Those are interesting. The only child evangelist I knew much about was Marjoe Gortner. Understandable that fundie publications would fail to mention him.

[Carol]

16 hours ago, catlady said:

And Bro GHaw’s verbal nonsense has been immortalized:  

I want to love, up vote and laugh at this 5,000 times!  It's comedy gold! Please, please, please can we get this on some FJ merchandise?   

Catlady, didn't you coin Weenese?  Or, maybe you were the one who found Gary for us? 

[Lillymuffin]

On 5/2/2019 at 1:39 PM, keepercjr said:

here is the full convo @Don'tlikekoolaid  posted about.  Gary sure is feeling sensitive!  I had a laugh that Gary said he was talking about “religious movies” when he said “the so call show’s of today make a mocked of god”.  Straight up pure weenese.

  Hide contents

 

I love it. Pastor Jeff says, “First off, I’m glad I’m not your pastor...” (In other words, there but for the grace of God go I.) 

Then Gary has this sick burn, “Attacking a Bro I’m sure GOD in that.” 

C’mon Pastor Jeff. How could you attack a Bro!!!