Jump to content
IGNORED

Bro Gary Hawkins 10: Nouvelle Cuisine


samurai_sarah

Recommended Posts

4 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Does doing someone who is now the pastor of a megachurch count?

Ab-so-fucking-lutely.  So was the one I "did". I wonder if it's the same one?

  • Haha 11
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Granwych said:

can't say I've met a priest, preacher, or clergy member that would instill lust in me.  I am so benighted!

I can't remember lusting after any members of the clergy either. I literally can't remember meeting a single preacher that met my standards of lust. Joel Osteen would be hot, though, if he wasn't such a sleazy con man. His facial attractiveness cannot override his greed.

  • Upvote 5
  • I Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/13/2019 at 5:46 AM, Alisamer said:

He should get a job, but I can’t imagine what his resume would look like. I wonder if he’d manage to spell his own name correctly on it?

Do you remember that flyer a while back where it said Hawking family instead of Hawkins family? I tried finding it but after way too many minutes of scrolling through Bro Gary’s FB timeline unsuccessfully I gave up. But my guess is he would not manage to spell his name correctly.

  • Upvote 6
  • I Agree 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, Lisafer said:

. Joel Osteen would be hot, though, if he wasn't such a sleazy con man. His facial attractiveness cannot override his greed.

I can't even with Joel Osteen. His very facial expression says "sleaze" to me.. I don't find him attractive at all, but perhaps it's his behavior I can't detach from his smile.

  • Upvote 3
  • I Agree 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Mar said:

Do you remember that flyer a while back where it said Hawking family instead of Hawkins family? I tried finding it but after way too many minutes of scrolling through Bro Gary’s FB timeline unsuccessfully I gave up. But my guess is he would not manage to spell his name correctly.

Yes!! I was reading Bro's latest post to Mr. Puma the other day as well as all of your guys' witty remarks. I told him about the Hawking brochure where their name was spelled wrong and we were both cracking up!!

  • Upvote 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/13/2019 at 6:33 AM, MayMay1123 said:

philadelphia introduced a couple of hawks to the area a few years back. there are now lots of hawks, almost no pigeons, and almost no rats. now they are going after squirrels (one of the most awful things i've ever heard and saw was a hawk with a live squirrel, right outside my granddaughter's school just as the children were getting out) and small dogs.

is there anyway to maybe screen in your balcony?  or line up a bunch of plastic owls? i've heard that helps.

maymay, also not a fan of pigeons

These fuckers have been saying forever that they'd screen in my balcony, but they never do it. The ONLY thing they did several months ago (after like a decade of this, mind you) was tie one single streamer up that was supposed to scare the pigeons away. Well, it didn't, it only scared away the more cowardly ones, so now the remaining ones are stronger than ever (lol). I got one of those plastic owls too once, but they weren't impressed.

That's upsetting about the hawks though. My cousin's workplace allows employees to bring their dogs and a coworker had a tiny dog she used to bring every day and they all loved her, then one day the poor dog got taken by a hawk right in front of her person, but she was powerless to do anything about it. Half the office was in tears when they heard.

I just can't deal with this kind of thing, I try to forcefully stay in my utopian mental space where all animals live in harmony. Of course I know it isn't really true. Supporting one animal is usually a tradeoff for another, even if it's not direct. I'm still not going to wish harm on these evil fucking pigeons though. Years ago, one laid an egg on our balcony, and then later the egg disappeared. I was sad (and tried to tell my daughter, who was little at the time, that maybe the pigeon parents just moved the egg somewhere else, but she knew I was bullshitting), even though a pigeon family's nest was the last thing I needed.

  • Upvote 4
  • Sad 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/15/2019 at 4:05 AM, Lisafer said:

I can't remember lusting after any members of the clergy either. I literally can't remember meeting a single preacher that met my standards of lust. Joel Osteen would be hot, though, if he wasn't such a sleazy con man. His facial attractiveness cannot override his greed.

I get that one's yuck is another's yum, but IMO, even if he were the wokest feminist on the block, he'd still look like the guy from those Enzyte Natural Male Enhancement commercials. 

  • Upvote 1
  • Haha 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/19/2019 at 1:51 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

the guy from those Enzyte Natural Male Enhancement commercials

Smilin' Bob! I think Jill Rodrigues used pictures of him to teach her daughters how to smile by pulling their lower lip down.

image.png.fe2923bed34ace6745e2c3064948bece.png

  • Upvote 1
  • Haha 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’ve been absent from the Bro Haw thread for a while. He hasn’t changed. Still as incoherent as ever.

  • Upvote 6
  • I Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Smilin' Bob! I think Jill Rodrigues used pictures of him to teach her daughters how to smile by pulling their lower lip down.

image.png.fe2923bed34ace6745e2c3064948bece.png

Why do people think this is a good way to smile? It looks less "I'm happy!" and more "dear god please help me". 

  • I Agree 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

But, Bro Gary, that meme has a bad word* in it! Do you approve of cussin'?

* Well, to you, "shit" is the bad word. To me, the whole thing is a bunch of bad words.

  • Upvote 6
  • I Agree 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/21/2019 at 7:39 PM, thoughtful said:

Smilin' Bob! I think Jill Rodrigues used pictures of him to teach her daughters how to smile by pulling their lower lip down.

image.png.fe2923bed34ace6745e2c3064948bece.png

Thanks for the earworm!

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK folks, Bro Gary posted a new live video AND I figured out how to screenshot on the PC, thank Rufus.

I'm only a minute or two in and all I've heard is Bro say, I can't believe no one's watchin! Caleb (I think) is playing banjo and I think he's actually quite good! Sadly all you can see are Becky's feet, which look very swollen. My husband and kid are making fun of me for watching the video so I might save it for later.

banjo.png

  • Rufus Bless 1
  • Thank You 13
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

The star of the show is Becky's nasty feet?

5 minutes of the boy playing banjo in the background and beck's feet in the foreground. its pretty weird. the boy is quite good, but after a minute or so, the noise of a banjo makes me want to run away screaming (misophonia for the win!)

  • Upvote 2
  • Thank You 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok Folks,

ol Gary was live today with another video and it was predictably about not going to hell and to make sure you are saved before you die.  Like just about every other sermon.  They are in PA and the local preacher's son goes to a Christian school and wanted Gary's 2 boys to go on a field trip with the school today.  Good for the boys.  Not much reason to recap as it is a wash, rinse, repeat of everything else he says.  His biggest fan Daphne is orgasming all over the comments again.  Forgot to add that he breaks into song at 18:30.  He is also unusually subdued.  no screaming

 

Edited by keepercjr
  • Thank You 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks, I just started watching it and I came here to say that the boys were allowed to go on a field trip! That made me really happy for them. I wonder where they went. Being that it was a Christian school maybe somewhere religious but at least they got out from under Bro for awhile, and hopefully got to have a fun time.

  • Upvote 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

bro won't say the word "obituary" because it sounds like "bitch" in the middle :laughing-rofl:

  • WTF 2
  • Haha 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

bro won't say the word "obituary" because it sounds like "bitch" in the middle :laughing-rofl:

Say whaaaaaaat? Is this for real? Or did he just not say it and you guessed why?

 I wouldn’t put anything past Bro Haw. After seeing on here that some people would prefer to say “heaveno” and “breathstroke” anything seems possible.

  • Upvote 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Reminds me of something I read in Readers Digest back when I was a kid.  A woman wrote in to say that when out to dinner with her Oh-So-Proper friend, the lady read the menu, blushed, and whispered to her companion to please order her the "Chest of Chicken".

Which reminds me of another joke RD published around the same time.  A man reported that when attending a BBQ at a home in the country, the men were all sitting around the grill when one of the chickens got chased by the family rooster.  After circling the house a couple of times the rooster caught up with the chicken in full view of the guests and copulation ensued.  The host was embarrassed because the local preacher was in attendance, and all eyes turned to him to see what he'd do.  The preacher chuckled and asked "Now, do you think that hen was really running as fast as she could?"

  • Upvote 1
  • Haha 14
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That slop is dangerously close to the edge of the plate. 

It looks nasty.

  • I Agree 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Say whaaaaaaat? Is this for real? Or did he just not say it and you guessed why?

 I wouldn’t put anything past Bro Haw. After seeing on here that some people would prefer to say “heaveno” and “breathstroke” anything seems possible.

"maybe, i don't say dat word, but somewhere in your newspaper, in the back of dat page, i call it da dead man's section, cuz my wife says when i say dat word it sounds like i'm cussin, so i'm not gonna say it"

  • Haha 11
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Destiny locked this topic
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.