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samurai_sarah

Bro Gary Hawkins 10: Nouvelle Cuisine

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Waffle Time
PumaLover

Ok folks, another Sunday night, another 19 hours of live streamed, awkward, fuzzy iphone video. We start out with a lot of off-key singing. (I went to a Baptist church in my previous fundie lite days and it was always super uncomfortable for me. Well I had grown up as a heathen, so really all of it was uncomfortable for me but I felt like I needed to do it.) 

Bro Gary and co stand on stage with instruments and a sign that reads, IT IS ACCEPTED. (I hate the font that's it's written in but that's BEC as a graphic designer.) Oh jeez, the singing is more off key than the sign. The instruments sound nice, but the vocals are really off key and I'm having secondhand embarrassment (as usual). (Puma fast forwards).

The pastor has the older boy onstage and I thought they were going to talk but they're singing again. It's horrible. Start at 16:12 if you want to hear it. It's really, really bad. The pasture has him sit behind him on the stage for some reason. Train up the boys so you can use em, how to live in this world, train em up for Christ. Bro Gary agrees vehemently. Oh geez he has a reaction for everything the pasture says.

This pasture is very well spoken and doesn't stumble and I can understand everything he's saying. Bro should take some notes rather than just reacting. The pasture grew up with boldness through the school of hard knocks. That's what's happening in Christianity today, everyone is rockin out. We're looking for what's comfortable. America's the best country, it's founded on Christianity. We've separated ourselves from God but there's a remnant that's still standing strong. Bro responds, Haymayun. We need to be godly individuals. Holy, undefiled, suffering ? sinners. There was a lot more Bible back in them days, people lived by the bible.  They might not have known it but they lived by the Bible because it was ingrained in them. (Shortest passage in Bro's Bible–IT BIBLE).

This is what made America great and America can still be great. (Why don't you just throw red MAGA caps out amongst the congretation!?) God sent the saviour. Most of us grew up never having great relationships with our dads. 

When kids are 6 months old, they're sending them off to nursery school. What an abomination. We're a really perverted nation. We got perverted leaders. (You don't say). Pedophiles are goin crazy folks and startin libraries (!?). Christ should be king of your life. (I want to know more about the pedophilic librarians). They want to distort.

One nation under God, are we? We should be. Bro agrees. Let's sing another hymn. (Puma fast forwards). Wonderful Words of Life. He references OK Corral, you make peace with God. Bro again agrees very loudly. God is good... Becky responds, all the time. Oh hey, she's unwrapping candy! 

You can't love your wife or your neighbor as you ought to. Numbers something and they all repeat it in unison. Swords up, they all hold their bibles up, they respond, Jesus saves. First Samuel something. A young girl reads out loud quietly. Bro flips through his Bible. Oh now he's standing up and reading it. Another guy reads. Something about perverting your bible and there's a big cult out there. Nobody will say it. There's a book but he can't remember the name of it. (I want to know this because this is the kind of book I will read). 

Oh shit they start loudly singing, Holy Bible. This appears to be the end of this riveting church service, and it's 28 MINUTES. That's right, 2, 8. When Bro preaches the services are like 44 years long. Maybe he could learn something from this pasture, but I doubt he will. 

Spoiler

IT BIBLE

 

bro2.png

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
Posted (edited)
37 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

Pedophiles are goin crazy folks and startin libraries (!?). Christ should be king of your life. (I want to know more about the pedophilic librarians). 

I wonder if this is the pasture's interpretation of the "Storytime with a Drag Queen" that some libraries are doing. :think:

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
trimmed quote

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Ozlsn
2 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Another guy reads. Something about perverting your bible and there's a big cult out there. Nobody will say it. There's a book but he can't remember the name of it. (I want to know this because this is the kind of book I will read). 

I'm going to bet it's Harry Potter. Because these maroons haven't heard of all the other books out there, but this one they made into movies.

OK I suppose it could be Lord of The Rings, but I'm still going with Harry.

2 hours ago, PumaLover said:

You can't love your wife or your neighbor as you ought to. 

Yeah.. this still sounds dodgy to me. I mean if this were a group from a left-leaning church I'd take it to be a reference to loving your neighbors, no matter what their immigration status, but this group? Makes it sound like the key parties were banned.

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Spinosaurus
Posted (edited)
Quote

One would think they'd be a bit more attentive about who's helping to save their kids' souls, but whatever.

You'd think, yes.  Ideally.

Edited by Spinosaurus
I gone done not quoted.

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missy1228

What the f*** kind of libraries does this guy go to??

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Flossie
1 hour ago, missy1228 said:

What the f*** kind of libraries does this guy go to??

Library?  He ain't goin' to some dag garned library.  He'd be shussed if he tried to preach and possibly asked by some female if they could show him to the Religion section, where he would be exposed to:

200 Religion
201 Religious mythology, general classes of religion, interreligious relations and attitudes, social theology
202 Doctrines
203 Public worship and other practices
204 Religious experience, life, practice
205 Religious ethics
206 Leaders and organization
207 Missions and religious education
208 Sources
209 Sects and reform movements

210 Philosophy & theory of religion
211 Concepts of God
212 Existence, ways of knowing God, attributes of God
213 Creation
214 Theodicy
215 Science & religion
216 No longer used—formerly Evil; Depravity
217 No longer used—formerly Prayer
218 Humankind
219 No longer used—formerly Analogies: Correspondences

220 The Bible
221 Old Testament (Tanakh)
222 Historical books of Old Testament
223 Poetic books of Old Testament
224 Prophetic books of Old Testament
225 New Testament
226 Gospels & Acts
227 Epistles
228 Revelation (Apocalypse)
229 Apocrypha, pseudepigrapha, & intertestamental works

230 Christianity 
231 God
232 Jesus Christ & his family
233 Humankind
234 Salvation & grace
235 Spiritual beings
236 Eschatology
237 No longer used—formerly Future state 
238 Creeds, confessions of faith, covenants, & catechisms
239 Apologetics & polemics

240 Christian moral and devotional theology
241 Christian ethics
242 Devotional literature
243 Evangelistic writings for individuals and families
244 No longer used—formerly Religious fiction
245 No longer used—formerly Hymnology
246 Use of art in Christianity
247 Church furnishings & related articles
248 Christian experience, practice, life
249 Christian observances in family life

250 Local Christian church and Christian religious orders
251 Preaching (Homiletics)
252 Texts of sermons
253 Pastoral office and work (Pastoral theology)
254 Parish administration
255 Religious congregations & orders
256 No longer used—formerly Religious societies 
257 No longer used—formerly Parochial schools, libraries, etc.
258 No longer used—formerly Parochial medicine 
259 Pastoral care of families, of specific groups of people

260 Christian social and ecclesiastical theology
261 Social theology and interreligious relations and attitudes
262 Ecclesiology
263 Days, times, places of religious observance
264 Public worship
265 Sacraments, other rites & acts
266 Missions
267 Associations for religious work
268 Religious education
269 Spiritual renewal

270 History, geographic treatment, biography of Christianity
271 Religious congregations and orders in church history
272 Persecutions in church history
273 Doctrinal controversies and heresies in general church history
274 Christianity in Europe
275 Christianity in Asia
276 Christianity in Africa
277 Christianity in North America
278 Christianity in South America
279 History of Christianity in other areas

280 Denominations and sects of Christian church
281 Early church & Eastern churches
282 Roman Catholic Church
283 Anglican churches
284 Protestant denominations of Continental origin & related body
285 Presbyterian churches, Reformed churches centered in America, Congregational churches
286 Baptist, Restoration Movement, Adventist churches
287 Methodist churches; churches related to Methodism
288 No longer used—formerly Unitarian 
289 Other denominations & sects

290 Other religions
291 No longer used—formerly Comparative religion
292 Classical religion (Greek & Roman religion)
293 Germanic religion
294 Religions of Indic origin
295 Zoroastrianism (Mazdaism, Parseeism)
296 Judaism
297 Islam, Bábism & Bahá'í Faith
298 No longer used—formerly Mormonism 
299 Religions not provided for elsewhere

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Spinosaurus

300: IT BIBLE

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thoughtful
12 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Bro Gary and co stand on stage with instruments and a sign that reads, IT IS ACCEPTED.

Hey, Gary has learned about the word "is" -- that's progress! Maybe he can learn "It is Bible." We can work towards adding "the" next year.

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Lillymuffin
10 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

{{You can’t love your wife or your neighbor as you ought to.}}

Yeah.. this still sounds dodgy to me. I mean if this were a group from a left-leaning church I'd take it to be a reference to loving your neighbors, no matter what their immigration status, but this group? Makes it sound like the key parties were banned.

Oh, dear; my mind skipped over the word ‘ought’ and inserted ‘want,’ which gave that sentence a totally different meaning. I’ll be in the prayer closet with the :brainbleach:.

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Dizzy
Dana723
13 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Pedophiles are goin crazy folks and startin libraries (!?).

You honestly deserve a reward for going through these videos.  I've tried watching them and I end up way too confused.  I, like you, want to know more about these pedophilic libraries.  Can you check out a kid like a book?

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Dizzy
Ramen Amen

301: Reptobates

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Mischievous
Carol

Gary's face looks remarkably like a Picasso.

1300832691_ScreenShot2019-07-22at5_51_03PM.png.e7eb3202c1dedeeb48e86ec1e2bf91f6.png

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Granwych
1 minute ago, Carol said:

Gary's face looks remarkably like a Picasso.

1300832691_ScreenShot2019-07-22at5_51_03PM.png.e7eb3202c1dedeeb48e86ec1e2bf91f6.png

Bro’s face looks like a truck ran over it, backed up, and did it again.

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OhNoNike
3 hours ago, Lillymuffin said:

Oh, dear; my mind skipped over the word ‘ought’ and inserted ‘want,’ which gave that sentence a totally different meaning. I’ll be in the prayer closet with the :brainbleach:.

Oh I did the same thing!!

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Waffle Time
PumaLover
8 hours ago, Dana723 said:

You honestly deserve a reward for going through these videos.  I've tried watching them and I end up way too confused.  I, like you, want to know more about these pedophilic libraries.  Can you check out a kid like a book?

OMG I'm cracking up and it's so wrong. I only do it because 1. I drink at night (the time I'm on FJ) and 2. I love to laugh and Bro is endlessly entertaining (and also harmful, which is the main reason I do this.)

I was watching a cooking show earlier and there was a guy named Gary who had a weenie truck that he would drive to people's houses to cater good weens (but his actually looked appetizing). 

@Carol I noticed that after I did the screenshot and it was so funny I felt it was worth posting. Also your profile pic is amazing. I was used to seeing it tiny on the Tapatalk app on my phone and then the first time I saw it on my desktop it scared me! LOL

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Waffle Time
PumaLover
Posted (edited)

OK folks, looks like the Hawkinses went to a base ball game. (I'm confused as to why the pic is set on a background of a basketball court). This is actually a nice family portrait. Bro looks like he could actually be a decent, caring parent. (Until he opens his mouth). I'm glad at least the boys are treated to fun stuff occasionally. 

(Ohhh, I finally get what "family pick at the game" means. I thought someone got picked or something but I think he means "family pic at the game.")

Baseball.png

Edited by PumaLover
just understood some Weenese

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keepercjr

I think the Stouts paid for the game but at least the boys probably had a good time.

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Sad
Gobsmacked

Where is Bros ex-wife? Presumably the boys are her children? I steer clear of this thread. Bro makes me feel physically ill. 

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Waffle Time
PumaLover
Posted (edited)
Spoiler

 

A couple new Bro posts, including one where a man is envious of his Trump 2020 hat. There's a video of him preachin' but it's really echo-y and the kids are here so I can't really hear it but I'll try and recap later.

I'm quite impressed that he spelled "You're" correctly but not accept. LOL Looks like they also knocked on a bunch of doors to bother people.

Spoiler

Bro-ismsTrump.png.5f726c99d96f6e685664496249bdccda.pngSaved2.png.dabbec2f62daf9dfa34db5fdcf9af2f3.png

 

Saved.png

 

Bro.png

Edited by PumaLover
oops. too much Bro not behind spoiler.

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AmazonGrace

That pic looks like he's in the mouth of some ferocious beast. 

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Don'tlikekoolaid

This actually looks like a nice church.  Bro probably won’t be invited back.  I wonder if that is a real pipe organ or some fake wallpaper stuff.  Going now to watch video and see if I can tell.  

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wallysmommy

I don't think the organ pipes are real.  If you look through the FB photos of the church, they have a panoramic of the stage, and there's no huge keyboard that would normally go with a set of pipes that big.  It's not even in the balcony.  It looks like an old public building like a court house converted into the church.

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thoughtful
21 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

I'm quite impressed that he spelled "You're" correctly

He abused an apostrophe, though -- "salvation is only your's." One out of three -- pretty good, for Bro.

Mindy corrected him on "accept" -- in Christ's love, of course.

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griffin

WHAT is the deal with his ties??Screenshot_20190728-223552_Facebook.thumb.jpg.bc5aabb537b3b91a986cccd6f06236b1.jpg

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