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samurai_sarah

Bro Gary Hawkins 10: Nouvelle Cuisine

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Waffle Time
mango_fandango

Gary is back in North Carolina, at Whispering Hope Baptist Church. I think he’s from Mt Airy? The church is in High Point which is an hour’s drive from Mt Airy.

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Granwych

Maybe he was out hunting for wild water game.  Or any game.  Or any restaurant.  Or any church that would have him.

maybe Becks is out planting seeds.  

maybe I should do some laundry, bake a pie, or check the henhouse for eggs.

Nah. I'll go read about the Rods and thank Rufus I'm pagan.

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Seahorse Wrangler

re frogs legs. The first time I walked around a supermarket in Montreal, I saw a packet of frozen frogs legs. I was squicked out.  It's still one food 20 years later I have never tried.

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Depressed
Dandruff

"Nouvelle" is one word that can be used.  I can think of some others, but they're not as nice.

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keepercjr

I am gonna take a stab at recapping Bro's live video from this morning at church.  They play music and sing for the first 10 minutes and I fast forwarded through that because I have heard enough to know that none of them can sing.  The woman in the pew in front of the camera was recording them on her phone for some reason. 

So Gary starts off saying he is tired and talking about being in TX recently.  Also they got stranded on the side of the road somewhere.  I guess that is why there were in the hotel with the swimming pool for a few days.  So much for that truck? (Ah much later he says he had to order a part after it broke down)  Now he is talking about the motor home/ bus.  I can't understand everything he says.  It appears they are staying with his parents again as these grifters are literally homeless.

Some stilted bible reading.

He is talking about hearing about bad news everywhere (doctors, tv, at work).  The country is in bad shape.  in the last 6 months he has seen preachers lose their wives (I am assuming death).  But Gary has good news! (hint.. it is jesus).    America needs some more churches.  70% of the baptist churches are lost according to some dude from the 70s.  The baptist church is the biggest mission field.  He says nobody got saved at his revival last week LOL.  I guess it was only church people who came. 

We can still talk to god.  We are living with a prayerless generation.  Some preacher spends hours each day before preaching.  North Carolina used to be a bible belt but now it is a spiritual belt.  He is screaming about people needing to pray.  He says he was a missionary at one time (what?!).  Not praying is a worse sin than committing adultery.

When he got stranded on the side of the road in Louisiana he started calling baptist churches.  and  within an hour and a half he was put up in a hotel and got his vehicle off the road.  Such grifters!!

There is only 1 bible and it is the KJB!!  He doesn't have any problem reading the bible.  You don't even have to have a high school diploma to read and understand the bible!  He has read the bible through already this year.  He is wiping his brow now. 

He is talking again about wanting to visit Jerusalem but he doesn't fly.  But he has god in his heart so its ok.  GOD IS ALIVE.  How does Gary know?  He talks to him.  Jesus is just as anxious to come get us as we are to go with Jesus. 

He tells a story about some people who told him you can lose your salvation if you have a bad dream and don't wake up.  Then you will go to hell (WHAT?!).  But Gary doesn't believe that.

God won't bring up your sins like your husband or wife might.  The past is over with and it is gone. 

Now he says that maybe his car broke down and it took 2 days to get the part because God wanted his boys to have the swimming pool. 

You don't have to go to hell.  You can accept god and not go to hell.  Mohammad is burning in hell, frying like sausage.  "People today are taking the scriptures and messing with them and I know somewhere in Mexico over there that there is a place that got cement made up to it and theres a lot of those mexicans that get on their hands and knees and crawl up and try to get Mary to get them into heaven."  "we used to preach against the catholics and the methodists and all those other religions but the independent baptists are falling right down the same (garbled)". 

He talks a bit about hell.  The poor kids in the audience :(  Then he talks about "his" kids.   "I have got some wayward children and some lost members and inlaws and outlaws amen and some people that need to be saved."  He talks about the bible saying you need a vision of people burning in hell so he tries to visualize them burning in hell.

He talks about Becky talking to her poor mark yesterday. A lady that works at the hotel and has a boyfriend with cancer. 

 

OK thats it folks!

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Waffle Time
Beermeet
Posted (edited)

It never ceases to amaze me how these two grown ass people refuse to take care of themselves.  I would not tolerate being homeless, constantly breaking down in various vehicles and having to crawl back to my In-laws over and over. His preaching is shit. How does Becky tolerate any one of these? She must have some good meds. This woman actually was a nurse. She could be making good money. No need for this so called man who is a shameless lazy grifter.  I'd be so embarrassed.  It wouldn't take me long to gtfo. What in the world does she see in Bro. Ween?  If a new BF asked me to make him ween gravy, I'd be over!  No job, no inheritance, nothing.  Just broken down homeless ween preachin'. Bro. G is useless.  He has a ton of time on his hands and he does NOTHING!  It's like he literally thinks saying things like " trust in the lord" means he can sit back and wait for god to provide.  Year after year. He's a terrible father, provider, human and husband.  He is disgusting, as are his mannerisms.  But he will get up and preach against exactly what he is, that includes his stint as a pervert (hopefully,  that is over) . It's amazing!  I'd never know anyone like this exists if not for FJ!  So, thanks? I think? Hahahaha!!!

Edited by Beermeet
Mistakes.
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keepercjr
20 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

It never ceases to amaze me how these two grown ass people refuse to take care of themselves.  I would not tolerate being homeless, constantly breaking down in various vehicles and having to crawl back to my In-laws over and over. His preaching is shit. How does Becky tolerate any one of these? She must have some good meds. This woman actually was a nurse. She could be making good money. No need for this so called man who is a shameless lazy grifter.  I'd be so embarrassed.  It wouldn't take me long to gtfo. What in the world does she see in Bro. Ween?  If a new BF asked me to make him ween gravy, I'd be over!  No job, no inheritance, nothing.  Just broken down homeless ween preachin'. Bro. G is useless.  He has a ton of time on his hands and he does NOTHING!  It's like he literally thinks saying things like " trust in the lord" means he can sit back and wait for god to provide.  Year after year. He's a terrible father, provider, human and husband.  He is disgusting, as are his mannerisms.  But he will get up and preach against exactly what he is, that includes his stint as a pervert (hopefully,  that is over) . It's amazing!  I'd never know anyone like this exists if not for FJ!  So, thanks? I think? Hahahaha!!!

Not to mention choosing Ween over her precious children.  Is she supposed to choose her husband over her kids in their warped religion?  Way to fuck with their mental health Becky.  Even if they have no issues now (their father, stepfather and extended family seem to love and appreciate them very much) I am sure they will as they get older.  They will want to know why their mother chose someone over them.  Especially someone like Gary who I am sure has said terrible things about their dad in front of them.  How can he not have?  They lived in a cramped RV so it isn't like he was having private conversations in another room.  And this is Gary so I am sure he couldn't help himself.  Imagine going to church several days a week to hear that people like their dad are headed for hell.  I am sure that is why he was able to get sole custody.  Seems like parental alienation to me and courts don't take kindly to that kind of thing.  I am glad he found a supportive judge. 

Do his repeat customer churches not wonder why he only has 2 of the previous 7 kids traveling with them?  I wonder what his answer is if they ask? 

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Dandruff
1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

He is talking again about wanting to visit Jerusalem but he doesn't fly.

Jerusalem doesn't need any of that.  Thank goodness there's an ocean between.

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FullOfGravy
21 hours ago, keepercjr said:

He says nobody got saved at his revival last week

What I want to know is, did anyone get un-saved?  Lose their faith because any God who handpicks Gary as His representative is seriously questionable as a deity?

21 hours ago, keepercjr said:

He is talking again about wanting to visit Jerusalem but he doesn't fly.

Because he has a high risk of keeling over with DVT afterward?  Because he can't afford a passport, let alone a plane ticket?  Because the Israelis want nothing to do with him?  It can't be that he's afraid of flying, not when he knows he's got a straight ticket to heaven if he dies in a crash.  Regardless, can you imagine winding up next to Bro Gary on a long-haul flight?  I'd much rather sit next to a screaming infant.

21 hours ago, keepercjr said:

Now he says that maybe his car broke down and it took 2 days to get the part because God wanted his boys to have the swimming pool.

I can think of a few other things God might want to pay attention to.  Not begrudging the kids some fun swimming, but damn.  Priorities, G-man.

21 hours ago, keepercjr said:

People today are taking the scriptures and messing with them and I know somewhere in Mexico over there that there is a place that got cement made up to it and theres a lot of those mexicans that get on their hands and knees and crawl up and try to get Mary to get them into heaven.

Wha-?  I get that he's not into the BVM.  I'm making a wild guess at understanding Weenese here, but did he maybe see a travel show or something about Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe?  And what he got out of it was... cement?  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, this man has cement for brains.

22 hours ago, keepercjr said:

so he tries to visualize them burning in hell.

Oh.  Lovely.

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wallysmommy

I visited Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe as a 13-year-old, 46 years ago.  I remember how significant and touching it was to see these people crawling on their knees in hopes of a miracle.  Gary is a moron (restating the obvious).

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Waffle Time
Lisafer

Gary says he "doesn't fly." I'm worn out with a bad head cold and I keep imagining Gary with his arms spread wide, tie flapping, sailing over the Atlantic. It's giving me the giggles.

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Meh
smittykins

“I just flew in from(wherever he’s from)and boy, are my arms tired!”

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PumaLover

OK folks, I've finally crossed over to the other side. I had my first Bro Gary dream *facepalm.* That's what I get for reading FJ just before bed. 

I was living somewhere else and for some reason, ran into Gary and Becky outside my house. They were set up in some booth or something, I'm guessing passing out tracts or something. Somehow, they knew I was PumaLover from FJ and Gary started yelling at me about all the things I posted about him. He told me I was making fun of him when I recapped all his sermons and live videos and I had a horrible pic of him as my avatar (all true). Becky kind of sat quietly while he screamed at me (like how he screams in his live videos). 

Then he started demanding to know my real name and I wouldn't tell him. I think he got even more mad about that. Finally at the end I told him I'm a graphic designer and I offered to proofread his brochures before he printed them to make sure they made sense and didn't make him look stupid. LOL

The end.

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wallysmommy

If you follow the route from Ennis, TX to NC, they must have broken down in north Louisiana.  That pool had to have been cold, because my bff's pool is freezing still and we're way south.  I have a mental image of zipping down I-10 through New Orleans East and seeing Gary on the side of the rode with Becky and the boys trying to hitch a ride next to the broke down van.  He could have caught himself a good gator out there.  

 

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Spinosaurus

Since God can do anything for his children, how does Gary know he doesn't fly like that?

Also, get well soon, @Lisafer.

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keepercjr
Posted (edited)
On 3/25/2019 at 3:39 PM, FullOfGravy said:

Wha-?  I get that he's not into the BVM.  I'm making a wild guess at understanding Weenese here, but did he maybe see a travel show or something about Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe?  And what he got out of it was... cement?  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, this man has cement for brains. 

 

that was  a direct transcribed quote and I confess I had zero idea what he was talking about but i think you are spot on.  Yes what he got out if it was crawling on cement.  Plus it has to do with brown people so...

I wonder if he realizes his posts are public again now?  He had to change it to public to get people to watch his tent revival and going forward all the posts will be public till he changes it again.  My father in law was showing me something on facebook last week and asked me if I had seen something he posted a few weeks ago.  I hadn't and I noticed on his screen that he had all his posts set to only be seen by his brother!  He had been wondering why he got no comments or likes LOL!  He had wanted to share 1 thing with the brother and then didn't know he had to change it back. 

Edited by keepercjr

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Depressed
PumaLover

I just saw my new post count and there couldn't be a more appropriate title above Bro Gary's head! DRod needs this over all his pics, too.

IMG_7592.JPG

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Ozlsn
On 3/26/2019 at 9:39 AM, FullOfGravy said:

It can't be that he's afraid of flying, not when he knows he's got a straight ticket to heaven if he dies in a crash.  Regardless, can you imagine winding up next to Bro Gary on a long-haul flight?  I'd much rather sit next to a screaming infant.

Given Bro Gary's aptitude for ending up in mechanically unsound vehicles I'd prefer him to stay out of any plane I'm on too.

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MarblesMom

He is FB live atm.   Looks like he is in a kitchen, perhaps a church kitchen, with people milling around.

He is having trouble reading out of his Bible.

Nothing new to report, same old, same old.

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Waffle Time
Lisafer
On 3/26/2019 at 4:08 PM, PumaLover said:

OK folks, I've finally crossed over to the other side. I had my first Bro Gary dream *facepalm.* That's what I get for reading FJ just before bed. 

I was living somewhere else and for some reason, ran into Gary and Becky outside my house. They were set up in some booth or something, I'm guessing passing out tracts or something. Somehow, they knew I was PumaLover from FJ and Gary started yelling at me about all the things I posted about him. He told me I was making fun of him when I recapped all his sermons and live videos and I had a horrible pic of him as my avatar (all true). Becky kind of sat quietly while he screamed at me (like how he screams in his live videos). 

Then he started demanding to know my real name and I wouldn't tell him. I think he got even more mad about that. Finally at the end I told him I'm a graphic designer and I offered to proofread his brochures before he printed them to make sure they made sense and didn't make him look stupid. LOL

The end.

You know what I get out of this dream? That Gary is such an experienced grifter that he managed to get YOU, one of his online detractors, to offer him free proofreading on his brochures. Like, even in your dreams he's getting free stuff!

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griffin

On Facebook he says he is at his home church tonight. It's that same basement-looking kitchen Becky used to use to sell her poprocksy. They never have the sense to avoid filming the bright ceiling light right behind them. If you haven't ever tuned in to hear the singing you don't know what you're missing!

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Granwych
On 3/25/2019 at 7:47 PM, Lisafer said:

Gary says he "doesn't fly." I'm worn out with a bad head cold and I keep imagining Gary with his arms spread wide, tie flapping, sailing over the Atlantic. It's giving me the giggles.

Bro Gary doesn't need to fly in a plane; he just needs to let all the hot air rush out of him like air from a kid's balloon.   Jet propulsion, or something like it.

 

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Dandruff
1 hour ago, MarblesMom said:

He is having trouble reading out of his Bible.

Is he holding it right side up?

 

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Waffle Time
Lisafer
45 minutes ago, Granwych said:

Bro Gary doesn't need to fly in a plane; he just needs to let all the hot air rush out of him like air from a kid's balloon.   Jet propulsion, or something like it.

 

If that's the case, it's a wonder he doesn't achieve liftoff while preaching.

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