Bro Gary Hawkins 10: Nouvelle Cuisine

[AmazonGrace]

On 7/18/2019 at 12:10 AM, Four is Enough said:

Natty Bo's customers reside, according to La Google, in Baltimore, at 90% of its consumption.

I will agree that NB tastes like horse piss. Give me a nice dark ale, please..

You may be thinking of Yuengling, which is another beer that is made in PA.

Natty Boh logo:

*eyes Four is enough suspiciously*

just how do you know how horse piss tastes like?

did that logo have an unfortunate accident or was he born that way?

[Ozlsn]

3 hours ago, PumaLover said:

There’s over 500 towns that don’t have bible believing churches.

That many. I am amazed. /s

Please never come here Bro Gary, it'll astound you how few "godly" churches there are, and how many towns don't have more than two churches! 

 

3 hours ago, PumaLover said:

**** He’s so King James that the other things get scared when they’re around him. He can use the NIV as toilet paper. ****

No, seriously? He said that?!

You just know that if a non-Christian had said that he'd be calling for them to be deported/jailed/harrassed... seriously, he said that?!?!

[griffin]

Thanks Puma, you nailed it, but the pastor wasn't saying they had big heads. He was saying big "hats". He saw a pic of Gary in that (way-too-small-for-his-head) big hat.

[Antipatriarch]

6 hours ago, PumaLover said:

He pronounces Wednesday like Weens-day.

Of course he does! ? ? ? ? TY I needed a good laugh this morning.

[Four is Enough]

6 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

*eyes Four is enough suspiciously*

just how do you know how horse piss tastes like?

did that logo have an unfortunate accident or was he born that way?

Oh, you just made me spit out my drink! Thank Rufus it was only water!

I'll never tell, but I HAVE worked in barns.

And That Logo has Always looked like that...

[wallysmommy]

Must know...where is Becky from in WV?  My dad's fam still lives in parts of WV.  Maybe we have six degrees of separation.  God, I hope not!

Sorry, Bro, a good preacher can share a message of conviction in 20 minutes.  A bad preacher takes hours.  People don't feel the Spirit more the later it gets.  The only feel like going to bed.

[PumaLover]

3 hours ago, griffin said:

Thanks Puma, you nailed it, but the pastor wasn't saying they had big heads. He was saying big "hats". He saw a pic of Gary in that (way-too-small-for-his-head) big hat.

Oh thank you, that makes much more sense!! I wonder if I mis-heard other parts, LOL. I thought it was really weird for the pastor to be insulting them like that!

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, Antipatriarch said:

10 hours ago, PumaLover said:

He pronounces Wednesday like Weens-day.

Of course he does! ? ? ? ? TY I needed a good laugh this morning.

But - but - isn't EVERY day weens-day?

[griffin]

And he can't pronounce pastor either. He calls them "pastures". Pray for your "pasture"

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, griffin said:

And he can't pronounce pastor either. He calls them "pastures". Pray for your "pasture"

He'd have trouble talking about this guy:

http://www.pastorinthepasture.com/blog/

He gives marriage advice, and has blog posts entitled "Marriage with Grit" (ow), and "Your Go-To Mount" (which, I'm happy to say, is about actual horses).

[keepercjr]

On 7/19/2019 at 12:43 AM, PumaLover said:

He hasn’t talked to two of his sisters, honey,  in three years. They don’t wanna talk about god.

Dang.  I did notice that his sister’s family is definitely not fundie!  So much for family values.  I guess family only matters if they believe the same as you or tolerate relentless yapping about trying to save you from hell

Gary posted this and I literally loled at the comment.  Gary is anything but deep.  Bryant must be easily impressed.

[Spinosaurus]

That's deep, man.  That's like really deep.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

22 hours ago, griffin said:

And he can't pronounce pastor either. He calls them "pastures". Pray for your "pasture"

Maybe that’s why he hates horses (WTF!!!!!).   Bro is praying for the pastures and the horses are in the way?

One horse is worth eleven billionty Bros!

                                ?

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

Dang.  I did notice that his sister’s family is definitely not fundie!  So much for family values.  I guess family only matters if they believe the same as you or tolerate relentless yapping about trying to save you from hell

And acknowledge that he is definitely superior because he has the One True Knowledge. That alone would be enough to make me communicate only gia email or letters - skim all the other stuff, get to the family stuff. Ir just communicate via Becky.

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

On 7/19/2019 at 6:00 PM, griffin said:

And he can't pronounce pastor either. He calls them "pastures". Pray for your "pasture"

Maybe that’s why he hates horses (WTF!!!!!).   Bro is praying for the pastures and the horses are in the way?

Maybe he heard someone talking about a horse running all over a pasture, or pissing and shitting on a pasture, and was horrified that an animal would treat a member of the clergy that way.

[PumaLover]

Gary's doin' some baptizin' today! Looks like he's holding a chloroform soaked cloth over this kid's face! Becky is there, in the water with her long skirt on. The boys being baptized are wearing tshirts but there are some kids playing in the background with no shirts. NIKE!

[Ozlsn]

I understand what it is that he's doing, and I know a photo only captures a moment. 

Still disturbs me though - not entirely sure why, but it's skeeving me out.

[Spinosaurus]

Gary skeeves me as a matter of principle, but I *think* he's just wiping that boy's face dry with a cloth.  Hope so anyway.

[smittykins]

I think it’s just a way to try to prevent water going into the person’s nose during the immersion(when I had mine, I was just told to pinch my nose).

[Four is Enough]

18 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Maybe that’s why he hates horses (WTF!!!!!).   Bro is praying for the pastures and the horses are in the way?

Gary's pastures are full of horse apples!

[keepercjr]

He held the cloth over everyone’s face as they went under even though they were told to pinch their nose.

 

[Dandruff]

Who TF would let their kid be baptized by the likes of him?

[MayMay1123]

"hell is hot" and other deep thoughts by brohawk?

[Spinosaurus]

1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

Who TF would let their kid be baptized by the likes of him?

People who aren't aware that he's a convicted child molester?

[Dandruff]

5 hours ago, Spinosaurus said:

People who aren't aware that he's a convicted child molester?

One would think they'd be a bit more attentive about who's helping to save their kids' souls, but whatever.