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Bro Gary Hawkins 10: Nouvelle Cuisine


samurai_sarah

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The rooster and chicken comment reminds me of Frank Costanza on Seinfeld.  

Frank Costanza : Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?

George Costanza : Why don't we talk about it another time.

Frank Costanza : But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!

Mrs. Ross : Something's missing all right.

Mr. Ross : They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.

Frank Costanza : That's perverse.

 

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3 hours ago, Granwych said:
17 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Wait, what?

Gary, think it through, dude.

You ask the impossible, grasshopper...

I know, I know. I thought that as I typed, "Gary, think."

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18 hours ago, griffin said:

Seriously, how does a person NOT know that they can't sing? Can't hit a note. Can't carry a tune. You always encounter people who don't join in or want to perform or whatever and they  just say " Oh, I can't sing at all ".  Nobody minds. Everyone gets it. How can you just have no self awareness whatsoever? That son can pick that banjo but he cannot sing. Becky sings maybe two notes and they aren't ever the right ones. I can see sitting around with fun friends and family and caterwauling or singing away in the shower or the car all you want and God bless you, but why perform or post it? I can't believe they can't hear how godawful it is.

I wonder this every time  Becky takes the stage.  I think that she probably gets tons of praise and just has no clue how awful she is at singing.  I don't get a super smart vibe from her (smarter than bro ween for sure though) she may just be that clueless. 

5 hours ago, catlady said:

So what the hell happened to the truck they grifted last year?  Did they run it into the ground?  Sell it for weenie gravy money? 

They still have the truck as far as I know.  Maybe he was making a distinction between car and truck?

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53 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

  Maybe he was making a distinction between car and truck?

This did cross my mind, but I wasn’t sure if GHaw is that good with semantics (I know smart people with mini-vans who refer to their “car keys” out of habit). And given his track record with automotive maintenance, it wouldn’t surprise me if he trashed it. So his vehicular status could go either way. 

Edited by catlady
Clarity
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i think a lot of people may feel like they themselves can sing well...until they actually hear themselves. i mean, have bro hawk and becs ever listened to their own caterwauling? they're worse than the rods, and that's really saying something. how can one not hear the awfulness?

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1 hour ago, MayMay1123 said:

they're worse than the rods, and that's really saying something. how can one not hear the awfulness?

There's "has no musical training and not much innate talent" and then there's "actually tone-deaf and really can't tell notes apart", and the latter's pretty rare.  I've known exactly one person I'm convinced was truly tone-deaf.  You could play or sing a single note, ask her to sing it back to you, and she'd sing a third or fourth off, without hearing the difference.  She could vaguely follow the contour of a melody that people around her were singing, but the actual intervals and notes would be completely wrong. I knew all this about her because we were both in our church's youth choir.  Poor girl honestly thought the director was picking on her by trying to get her somewhere close to on key, and by never giving her solos.  I don't think she had any delusions of having a singing career, but, as far as she could tell, she was singing the same notes as the rest of us.

All of this to say, I think the Rods sound bad because they're woefully untrained, and because their fearless leader's priority isn't to produce good music, but to display as many children and instruments as possible while remaining the star of the show herself.  I don't think Gary and Becky are as completely tone-deaf as the girl I knew, but I wouldn't be surprised if Becky at least had some difficulty with pitch perception (hard to tell with Gary, since he's just kind of rumbling away in back).  If that's the case, then even hearing a recording of herself would not show her how awful she sounds.  

In normal circumstances, Becky would just bleat around the house or in the car to her heart's content, and maybe drive her church choir director crazy.  But because she married a traveling grifter missionary whose schtick is preaching + music, and because she's a lowly woman and can't preach to bearers of the Almighty Penis herself, she has to do her part to beg for earn their living.  And boy, is she not good at it.

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20 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

Anyone want to hang out with Bro Hawkins?

 

 

i notice none of these fundy types ever come to big cities. bro would drop dead right on the spot if he ever was dropped right into philly

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And by "hang out" he means "give us food and lodging for as long as we choose to loaf around your home, bring us to your church and let us pass the KFC bucket, and pay for repairs to our vehicle in order to get rid of us."  Don't even need to be fluent in Weenese to translate that one.

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On 5/7/2019 at 7:42 PM, thoughtful said:

Wait, what?

Gary, think it through, dude.

I believe this is the essential problem.

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1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

Anyone want to hang out with Bro Hawkins?

 

9B8A2DDE-DDB9-4828-BD43-65C863036A92.jpeg

I have to deep clean litter boxes.

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I have to vacuum my cat...

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i have to replace hub's insulin cannula and glucose sensor. 

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I gotta go pack for my trip next week. Then I gotta play with the cats.

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I’ll be cleaning the gutters and washing my hair.

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I'm gonna alphabetize the 222 damnations of jillrod 

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3 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

I'm gonna alphabetize the 222 damnations of jillrod 

222?! Dang. Didn't we discover Bro Gary through her?  I seem to remember we did...someone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

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Sorry, Bro. I have an emergent need to sharpen my colored pencils.

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Can't make it, got a hot date with Candy Crush...

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9 hours ago, pamplemousse said:

222?! Dang. Didn't we discover Bro Gary through her?  I seem to remember we did...someone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

@General Jinjur created the first thread, sept 5, 2017 (really? oh! i didn't think we'd been on him so long!) and i think we discovered him because becs sells plexus? maybe through jillrod...or she did, i know they can't afford to shill that shit any more.

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