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Coconut Flan

Counting On Season 8/9/10 3: Another Wedding, Another Ms. Renee Dress

nelliebelle1197

Hey friends! Let's keep the raid talk here

 That way no one misses any dirt! Happy digging!

Message added by nelliebelle1197

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Galbin
Posted (edited)

I am so jealous of the American way of learming to drive and getting your licence. I know rules vary from state to state, but overall it seem so to be a much fairer system than in my own European country.

Here, people don't tend to learn until their 20s and the test itself is a nightmare. Most people have to take the test three or four times to pass. Peole are failed for the smallest of reasons too, not just for dangerous stuff like running red lights or losing control of the car. 

I am currently in the process and it is so stressful it has literally made me sick. Multiple instructors have confirmed I am a very safe driver, but that is different from passing the test.

ETA: If you want a full and non restricted licence you have to do the test in a manual car too. Otherwise, you don't get a full licence.

Edited by Galbin

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Mama Mia
Posted (edited)

What I found interesting in this episode is that John and Abbie both said she wanted to keep up her license requirements and that is was quite possible she continue working as a nurse in Arkansas. 

Also they seem to be going full throttle back to 19 andCounntting, with storylines that don’t even relate to the marrried kids.

Felicity  looks nearly identical to one of my girls as a baby, so I find her by far the cutest of the Duggar grandbabies. 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Mama Mia

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Bad Wolf

@GalbinI can get an international license here and drive in Europe and England. Well, I could a few years ago, haven't checked recently. I prefer trains and buses when I'm in another country.

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nvmbr02
1 hour ago, Galbin said:

I am so jealous of the American way of learming to drive and getting your licence. I know rules vary from state to state, but overall it seem so to be a much fairer system than in my own European country.

Here, people don't tend to learn until their 20s and the test itself is a nightmare. Most people have to take the test three or four times to pass. Peole are failed for the smallest of reasons too, not just for dangerous stuff like running red lights or losing control of the car. 

I am currently in the process and it is so stressful it has literally made me sick. Multiple instructors have confirmed I am a very safe driver, but that is different from passing the test.

ETA: If you want a full and non restricted licence you have to do the test in a manual car too. Otherwise, you don't get a full licence.

Yes, In general it does seem to be easier to get a license in the US vs a lot of other countries. Some states are more difficult than others as we realized when we were researching the places we were likely going to move to when going back to the US mainland. For instance, Colorado requires new drivers to have their permit for 12 months before getting a license, while Arizona you only need something like 30 hours of driving time with a permit (parent signed off) to get a license at 16. I know many military dependent children living overseas don't get their licenses until moving back to the states since it is generally expensive and they usually have to be 18+, depending on the country. 

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Waffle Time
PumaLover

I'm just here to say that I stayed awake through this episode! I credit that to eating ice cream and Oreos but whatever. Also agree that this seemed like a regular episode of 19KAC. I also don't know why I still watch this show. 

My daughter is 14 1/2 and we live in a very rural area where she will need her license. She can get her permit in one year and she's very excited about it. I told her we would help her buy a used vehicle but she knows that she has to help pay for it too (and keep her grades up). No handouts in this house. She wants an old Toyota truck. I'm currently driving a 2000 Toyota 4Runner that is pushing 300,000 miles and I know that they last. I hope mine will keep running for a long time because I don't want a vehicle payment again anytime soon.

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lumpentheologie
11 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

It’s nice that JD liked seeing Abbie ”in her element” as a nurse and that she wants to keep working. I assume it’s only until the babies start popping but still. Those two could probably actually do good if they went on missions. At least if they could keep the Jesus-talk to a minimum. 

Just a reminder that even though Abbie is a nurse she's probably doing more harm than good participating in these racist white savior missioncations. There's a ton of critical literature on these kind of trips, even with qualified medical personnel.  Here's a good summary: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5531079/

Highlights:

"Often, the western paradigm competes with rather than supports local health strategies [56]. The creation of duplicate or parallel health systems leads to an erosion of the local services with people rather waiting for the next arrival of free health care from overseas than consulting local personnel [8, 51, 53, 57, 58]. Over time, locals’ distrust leads to the services’ overall deterioration. Staff witness how patient numbers drop off when volunteers leave, modern treatment stops and drugs are running out [56]. Patients who can pay, but prefer to wait for free foreign help, are impacting on local health professionals’ earnings. Volunteers create local unemployment by substituting paid local colleagues with free alternatives [57, 59], pers obs IB]. Some local doctors and nurses, disheartened by their own and the local health system’s prospects, may choose to find employment overseas [60], leaving a hole that asks for even more volunteers."

"Depending on the location, medical conditions seen by volunteers are usually very different from those at home. Others may be the same but in a much more advanced state than ever seen at home, and risk/benefit of an intervention may be much harder to assess, for example, the increased risk of anaesthetics due to malnutrition or poor health [52]."

"Numerous cases of harmful treatment have been reported. For example, based on an ill-informed declaration of lice as a health priority, insecticide-laced shampoo was dispensed to illiterate users for whom shampoo is a luxury to be shared with others [48]. Ignorance about cultural habits, living conditions or practical details reportedly harmed people, such as stomach ulcers by giving ibuprofen to people with limited water and food intake, reactions to antibiotics, or far-reaching and unexpected consequences of dispensing vitamins to children [6, 63]; bleeding after taking aspirin due to the risk of trauma in the countryside [24], or the provision of hip prostheses for people used to squatting [4], to list but a few. Medication labels in a language people do not speak where sharing is part of the culture [57], are an accident waiting to happen."

"The intrinsic quality of short-term missions is precisely this limited time on location with considerable consequences to local health. The time is usually filled with the provision of treatments and surgeries, as many as possible to make the visit worthwhile. While volunteers can report how many patients they have seen in which timeframe (and secure the ‘bragging rights’ [5]), they have no way of knowing if the treatment was successful. Unless a condition can be treated completely in one visit, volunteers are unable to provide continuity of care, await lab results that may take longer than at home, deal with any complications on location and, overall, cannot be held accountable for their actions [52]. [...] The departing volunteers and teams leave the already overstretched local health service with the aftermath of all this help. After-care and complications are ‘dumped’ on local staff [66], often without being familiar with patients or their records. The additional workload also takes them away from their regular patients who may receive inferior care competing with staff time."

"Encompassing the previous ethical aspects, problems occur due to ignorance of the local culture and at least some basic language [50], or due to superficial cultural assumptions [8, 68]. Humanitarian aid does not happen in isolation but within a multifaceted local health framework [69]. How patients understand the cause of illness (supernatural, microbes) influences how they comply with treatment plans [52]. The stigma of certain conditions needs to be understood. Poor communication and/or incorrect translation lead to incorrect diagnoses and inappropriate treatment [52]. The impatient disregard of culture and language problems, even if a patient’s confusion is obvious, is easily explained when the objective is to get a large number of patients ‘done’."

"Depending on the arrangement, volunteers pay a hefty sum, often several thousands of dollars plus plane ticket and accommodation for a short stay on location. The average cost per volunteer 10 years ago, excluding travel and housing, was suggested at US$ 2400 [58], coinciding with the estimated $30,000 for a team of 10 volunteers which compared unfavourably with the $60,000 needed for a new 30-bed wing of the local hospital [55]. Elsewhere, the amount spent on T-shirts for the team would have funded the First Aid station for a year [57]."

"The previous discussion raises the question whose needs such projects ultimately benefit [8]. The literature points firmly to the volunteers. Personal benefits and, therefore, motivations for volunteering, such as self-development, challenge, personal growth, feeling good about ‘giving back’, one’s standing among peers, CV enhancement, university credits, travel, and adventure permeate virtually the entire discourse on volunteerism (e.g. [71]). [...] The unbalanced focus on volunteers and their needs represents an egocentric approach to volunteering, ‘an outlet for self-centred interests and desires…’([80],p.98), ‘altruistic egoism’[51] or ‘… nothing more than a glorified form of tourism wrapped in a veneer of altruism with no sustainable benefit for the receiving communities’([81],p.4)."

And all this is without even considering the likely very offensive proselytizing they're doing because the locals apparently need white Protestant Jesus. 

 

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nst

while i can't stand jeremy....his grandmother just too adorable for words with Felicity. 

and of course that is what Jeremy wants....so I am in the web for a second

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Knight of Ni

I attended a very interesting lecture on this very topic. While public health outreach is a worthwhile endeavor, it must be approached carefully. The lecturer stated that any aid given must be structured around the goal of the local community continuing after the workers leave. Cultural beliefs and practices must be taken into account. Take time to ask why something is done before saying it’s wrong. Strive to give the local people an ownership over improving healthcare, education, etc. There was also an emphasis on qualified aid advice, too. The doctors wouldn’t give advice on how to build a house because it was outside their scope of expertise. Proselytizing and ministry weren’t even mentioned.

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nausicaa

I have to give credit where credit is due: Damn, Felicity is a ridiculously adorable baby. And I'm not even much of a baby person.

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punkiepie

Seeing Grandma Vuolo with baby Felicity got me all verklempt.  My grandma passed away shortly before my daughter was born and it kills me that she will never get to meet her.  

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LilMissMetaphor
14 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

 huge sand shlong 

That is really hard to say five times fast.

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libgirl2
3 hours ago, nst said:

while i can't stand jeremy....his grandmother just too adorable for words with Felicity. 

and of course that is what Jeremy wants....so I am in the web for a second

What I noticed when they went to see the Vuolos is everything was so warm and genuine. It is such a difference from the Duggars who seem uneasy with each other most of the time. Grandma was a delight. 

17 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

image.png.395ef983998b96ad24e032552d59961f.png

That is, without a doubt, the most penis-y sandcastle I have ever seen.  I mean, if you set out to build an actual sand penis, I don't know that you could have done a better job.  Plus, where it is placed, with Joe lying down, it almost looks like it is his sand penis. 

I'm glad I wasn't the only who thought that. 

17 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

It’s nice that JD liked seeing Abbie ”in her element” as a nurse and that she wants to keep working. I assume it’s only until the babies start popping but still. Those two could probably actually do good if they went on missions. At least if they could keep the Jesus-talk to a minimum. 

I thought so too but I am disappointed that she quite working. I know she moved but I would love to see her keep it going. I doubt she will but you never know. Even some part time work would be great. 

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Buzzard
3 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I thought so too but I am disappointed that she quite working. I know she moved but I would love to see her keep it going. I doubt she will but you never know. Even some part time work would be great. 

I really hated JD's answer about her working.  He said that he would be OK with her "keeping up her license" so they can continue their mission work.  He did NOT say that he was OK with her pursuing a career.  Her future is defined by her ovaries, which is truly sad.  I cant decide whats worse, that he wants that or that she is OK with it.

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BachelorToTheRapture
20 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

Looks like TLC is trying to make Kendra gag. I'll show myself to the prayer closet.

ETA, Abbie shouldn't have to quit her job to plan a wedding. Plenty of employed people plan weddings while working jobs... oh, wait a sec. Patriarchy! I'd like to see Abbie be a working wife, but we'll likely get a pregnancy announcement instead. *Yawn*

This show gets duller every week... Buzzard, you're a hero.

I think she needed to quit so she could plan a wedding out of town for over 1000 guests in 2 or 3 months. Which is insane 

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pippi
1 hour ago, Buzzard said:

I really hated JD's answer about her working.  He said that he would be OK with her "keeping up her license" so they can continue their mission work.  He did NOT say that he was OK with her pursuing a career.  Her future is defined by her ovaries, which is truly sad.  I cant decide whats worse, that he wants that or that she is OK with it.

Yes--and she seemed very bittersweet on that. The long pause and the face when asked about quitting her job, and the difference in how their answers were phrased about her saying he was supportive of her work, versus how he put it in terms of license. Made me wonder if they weren't totally on the same page with some conversations there. I hope she somehow ends up being able to continue nursing; she clearly enjoyed working. 

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libgirl2
7 minutes ago, pippi said:

Yes--and she seemed very bittersweet on that. The long pause and the face when asked about quitting her job, and the difference in how their answers were phrased about her saying he was supportive of her work, versus how he put it in terms of license. Made me wonder if they weren't totally on the same page with some conversations there. I hope she somehow ends up being able to continue nursing; she clearly enjoyed working. 

It was almost as if she wanted to smile and say she is fine quitting to be married but just couldn't bring herself to do it. 

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pippi

@libgirl2 totally. I do think she genuinely really loves JD, but I also think she loved her job, and she kept sort of answering around the question, or detracting with "you ask hard questions!". Then finally gave the sad generic "what I had to do" reply. 

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Meh
backyard sylph

He did say something or other about her helping people. For a Duggar man, I think that's not nothing. :- /

I find the wider variety of Duggar offspring much more interesting/entertaining, but the moment JB speaks, my flesh crawls.

Finally, I guess if you can parallel park a 12 passenger van when you can barely see over the steering wheel, you're gonna make it out there as a driver.

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TheMustardCardigan

I hate when they have them do the scripted conversations during these episodes. Kendra's conversation with her mom felt so much like they were being forced to talk on camera about things they'd already discussed a hundred times previously off camera.

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Lurky
Posted (edited)

Re Abbie saying

Quote

I left my job a couple of months ago to plan the wedding.

Last episode it was ridiculously close to the wedding, and she was rushing to buy a last-minute dress, and the week before the Duggars were building her wedding decorations and making cakes she wasn't going to use - so why on earth did she need to leave her job months before to plan the wedding? Especially since per the show, she was still living with her parents and had to be flown in for dress BS etc.  I know the production messes with the time line, but even if this was the day before the wedding, that's at least 2 months to plan, which seems completely excessive.

Admittedly, I got civil partnered when the law changed in the UK, with 2 weeks notice (working full time, too!), so I can't really relate, but when my sister had a huge, expensive, extravagant wedding, she planned it while working full time in a very demanding job, and I've known doctors plan weddings without giving up work etc. 

Am I missing something here?  I get that for Fundies, working after a marriage is a no-no, but how do they justify the whole thrifty, last-minute vibe with having to give up work to spend months doing.... what?

Edited by Lurky

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Meh
backyard sylph

Maybe...it was the right time for coming to Arkansas frequently to begin preparing their home, and to organize what she planned to move there, or maybe something to do with filming was involved. It was clearly not a decision she made lightly, despite his nonchalance about it.

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TheMustardCardigan

I'm an attorney working full time and currently planning my wedding! It's been relatively stress free although I did get upset recently because my fiancé's job sent him on a last minute two week trip for work and I had to reschedule our save the date/engagement photos.

I agree that quitting to "plan the wedding" is probably more of a catch-all phrase that takes into account preparations to move to a new state, move into a new house, and whatever commitments she had to make for the TLC filming schedule/traveling she did to see JD. Especially considering this girl supposedly picked out her dress 25 days before the wedding. She didn't seem that *into* wedding planning and I'm sure if they followed the Duggar model for weddings that the family has their usual timeline and prep work for weddings super ironed out by now. 

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CharlieInCharge

Not trying to defend anyone, but she also did the ‘mission trip’ and that was, according to JD, a few weeks before the wedding. I can see quitting two months out or so if you know you’re going on a week or longer trip before you’d have to quit anyway. If I was scheduling I’d rather just hire a new person than schedule someone, cover their vacation time, schedule again and then have to find a replacement. Hopefully she gave due notice, she seems the type. I just don’t want to take the worst view of this since I’ve seen nurses schedule around others’ life events and it gets hectic and often unfriendly. (Not exclusive to nurses, just a reality of staffing a 24 hour facility) 

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Lurky
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

I agree that quitting to "plan the wedding" is probably more of a catch-all phrase that takes into account preparations to move to a new state, move into a new house, and whatever commitments she had to make for the TLC filming schedule/traveling she did to see JD.

But realistically, for someone living in her parents' house, how much time would it take to plan a move?  When my partner moved across the UK for a job, she took 1 day off to house hunt, finished her old job on the Friday, and on the Saturday she moved down, and started her new job on the Monday, then 2 weeks later, I finished my job on the Friday, she came back up that Friday evening, and on the weekend we moved down with all our furniture etc etc.   I started job hunting on the Monday, and was working in a new job the following Monday.  We did all our packing, sorting out the house moves etc in our evenings and weekends leading up to it, and that was moving from one semi-furnished house to a completely unfurnished place.

And yeah, nursing is hard, but my best friend is a paramedic, and moved houses multiple times while working full time, and maybe taking 1 day off work each time.  If anything, working shifts made it easier, as she could coordinate her free time around time it was possible to do moving tasks etc. 

It's not even like the filming is especially arduous, as it sounds like she just had to show up for a minimal time for the wedding dress and the cake making episodes.  Sure, going to missioncation took more time, but realistically, that was a holiday rather than actual work, and she wasn't in the Philippines for months, but for a week or two after her few months off for wedding planning.

It's just super-confusing to me that the show pretty much brags about how little effort they put into their wedding days, yet at the same time, the bride can't possibly manage to function in the run-up - like how when Jinger was courting, it was taken as read by everyone around her that she couldn't be expected to do anything around the house any more.   Maybe it's the only time a fundy maiden gets to lounge around being waited on, rather than sister-momming her siblings and running the household her parents can't be bothered to look after, before jumping straight into devoting her life to her man-child husband and aiming for a quiver for her own in as short a time as possible - but at least own that, and don't pretend planning weddings/preparing to move from a bedroom in a parent's house into a house her husband has already set up requires months of labour, when women manage it alone, alongside full-time jobs, every day of the week.

Edited by Lurky
SOTDRT is infectious

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TheMustardCardigan

When some people make a big life change they take more time off to screw around than is truly necessary. My coworker recently put in for her resignation at work and is planning to take another state's bar exam in July. Her online bar prep program starts mid May and she's not moving to her new state until after she takes the bar. Yet her last day of work is the first week of April. Some people would work while they studied for a second bar exam. Some people I know would work right up until the start of the study program. My coworker is basically taking a month and a half off for no reason other than that she was gonna have to quit sometime anyway and can afford to quit really early. She still tells people she's quitting so she can "study for the bar" even though all that's not happening for a while. I think this is a lot like the Abbie situation-- she's saying she quit work to "plan the wedding" but that's really only part of it and not entirely accurate.

 

 

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