Chelsy and John Maxwell 7: Not as Beige as Maxhell - Yet

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Some Fjers believe that the maiden on the right has jeans photoshopped into a skirt. I don't feel certain about it.

 

Oh, and if you want to get a feel for Becky Bontrager's motherhood style, read her infamous post in which she argues that introverts are just being rude: http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2016/12/shy-children-part-4-in-motherhood-series.html

Thanks for the link, I am now enraged.

You can teach children that please and thank you are inviolable while still respecting their boundaries and feelings and who they are as people.

Her advice works if you want to train performers, not rear children.

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Both of mine cried most of the 80 mile drive to my hometown. And it usually ended in barfing everywhere. It was hard even with my husband’s help. I’ve always been jealous of those who had babies that tolerated the car.

I’ve always found it so strange that Chelsy and Allison don’t praise their mother to the skies like they do their fathers. I really wonder about Becky Bontrager. I really don’t think it’s because she’s female. Allison and Chelsy seemto love their grandmothers very much. Most fundie daughters praise their mothers so highly. I’ve rarely even heard Becky talk. Marlon does most of the talking. So I don’t know if Becky is just colder or more rigid than Marlon. Or if she’s just not close with Chelsy and Allison. 

While all fundies we discuss here are sexist and unequal, in all the families the mother and the father seem to stay together in the podium, because marriage is the godly goal in life.  In Bontragers clan, I get the feeling that the podium.is just for Marlin.

I got a sinister vibe from this family, probably due to Alison's strange posts about her manly brothers. Also in the family blog, there are countless references about manly sons, etc. 

Chelsy married a man that seems to respect her and she states often that they are a team. I wonder if, from her perspective, John was a bit *progressive* comparing to the men she was living with. 

[Black Aliss]

5 hours ago, Tatar-tot said:

From airport gate to airport gate.  Quite a different adventure with a baby on the interstate.

I did it all the time ~ it isn’t that hard.  Just plan for stops.  Take you time & when the kids are asleep fill the tank, grab a monster & floor it!  

It was easier with just one, for sure. I took road trips, and train trips with the heir when he was Axton's age.

[usmcmom]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Both of mine cried most of the 80 mile drive to my hometown. And it usually ended in barfing everywhere. It was hard even with my husband’s help. I’ve always been jealous of those who had babies that tolerated the car.

 

Ugh! Mine both cried on car trips until they were about two. I always wondered if they got carsick.  Nothing comforted them at all so I always dreaded getting on the road with babies. I always envied parents of “easy car babies” too. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Some Fjers believe that the maiden on the right has jeans photoshopped into a skirt. I don't feel certain about it.

 

Oh, and if you want to get a feel for Becky Bontrager's motherhood style, read her infamous post in which she argues that introverts are just being rude: http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2016/12/shy-children-part-4-in-motherhood-series.html

Oh yes I had forgotten about this! I can imagine Becky running that home like a captain of a very tight ship. Marlin is probably the warmer and more lenient of the two. 

[theologygeek]

8 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I don't think that was a shot at the Maxwell's because Sarah has travelled alone.

 

I think it was a shot at the Maxwells.  Remember that pitiful post Sarah made about traveling alone?  That poor thing is afraid of her own shadow.

Love how the Maxwell blog only has pictures of Chelsy from the waist up.  Gotta keep up appearances!

Axton sure is cute.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

Axton is cute. But his eyes are still looking directly into my soul. Even when he’s smiling. I imagine #2 will be exactly the same. 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

Well, I just read the announcement for John and Chelsy. Not surprised they are expecting #2. But I must say I really like her new hairstyle with the blonde highlights. I am just noticing them. But, like I said not surprised nor am I surprised Sarah did the photo shoot. 

[Bethy]

17 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Remember this Photoshop fail by Poor Sarah:

I remember lurking when this was originally posted, and I too am in the "possibly not Photoshop" camp. Making jeans into a skirt is a thing (I've done it) although it works best when you use full-length jeans to make a knee-length skirt, because you can use the lower legs of the jeans to fill in the middle. If you want it ankle-length, you're going to need jeans from elsewhere and the fabric probably won't match. Heck, I've even seen fundies post blog tutorials on how to make a pair of jeans into a skirt using calico to fill in the middle, but I've never seen how that was modest considering you then have a bright, contrasting, flowery arrow pointing right at the part of your body that you're supposed to be "concealing" with your long skirt. SMH.

The one of Bethany getting baptized? Definitely bad Photoshop (or possibly Paint.) This could just be a questionable fashion DIY.

[Cora Persephona]

15 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Some Fjers believe that the maiden on the right has jeans photoshopped into a skirt. I don't feel certain about it.

 

Oh, and if you want to get a feel for Becky Bontrager's motherhood style, read her infamous post in which she argues that introverts are just being rude: http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2016/12/shy-children-part-4-in-motherhood-series.html

WTF did I just read?!

If you think a 2 year old can understand the "feelings of someone who may have spent hours or all day preparing for her guests so that they could enjoy a meal together", you haven't met too many 2 year olds.  

"A little child who won't introduce himself is being rude to an adult or young friend who is taking an interest in him." - well, sometimes the interest just isn't mutual and that is ok.

"Let's teach our children to consider others, to be kind, and to focus on those around them rather than on themselves." - but how can you teach your children that when it seems you have not mastered this skill yet? You are not thinking about the children's feelings, you are only thinking about the compliments YOU will get about how polite your children are.

" I find that our introverted children (not very many of them in this family!!) are some of the best conversationalists." - who knew introvert is not a synonym for stupid?!

Yes, kids (people in general actually) need to be taught manners, but shyness is not rudeness.

[PennySycamore]

@Cora Persephona,  as a shy person,  thank you for your post.

I've read and heard interviews  with Herb Alpert where he said he was painfully shy as a kid.  He's said that he was practically catatonic. They had some musical instruments at school for the kids to try out and the trumpet became his voice.  If you are lucky enough to see him in concert,  you can still see a bit of that shy kid. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Cora Persephona said:

WTF did I just read?!

If you think a 2 year old can understand the "feelings of someone who may have spent hours or all day preparing for her guests so that they could enjoy a meal together", you haven't met too many 2 year olds.  

"A little child who won't introduce himself is being rude to an adult or young friend who is taking an interest in him." - well, sometimes the interest just isn't mutual and that is ok.

"Let's teach our children to consider others, to be kind, and to focus on those around them rather than on themselves." - but how can you teach your children that when it seems you have not mastered this skill yet? You are not thinking about the children's feelings, you are only thinking about the compliments YOU will get about how polite your children are.

" I find that our introverted children (not very many of them in this family!!) are some of the best conversationalists." - who knew introvert is not a synonym for stupid?!

Yes, kids (people in general actually) need to be taught manners, but shyness is not rudeness.

Her expectations of 2 year olds are disturbing to me.

Edited December 31, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[johnhugh]

Tonight’s the night that they stay up until midnight and cry and howl!

Happy new year Stevie!

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

Edited December 31, 2019 by HerNameIsBuffy
added spoiler

[tabitha2]

That first photo really creepy and uncomfortable. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, johnhugh said:

Tonight’s the night that they stay up until midnight and cry and howl!

Happy new year Stevie!

 

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

We have a rule about spoilers for multiple pics so I put the first one under a spoiler.

It doesn't technically break a rule (I don't think - I'm checking), but it made me really uncomfortable and is wildly disrespectful to women who have done nothing except be born into their father's cult.  I give Teri less of a pass than most people, but this isn't commentary on her actions, it's just sexually humiliating her for sport and I think it's really inappropriate.

Edited December 31, 2019 by HerNameIsBuffy

[Coconut Flan]

2 hours ago, johnhugh said:

Tonight’s the night that they stay up until midnight and cry and howl!

Happy new year Stevie!

Wrong place for this.  It isn't funny and I certainly hope you return to normal.  

[nelliebelle1197]

On 12/30/2019 at 5:12 PM, HereticHick said:

Some Fjers believe that the maiden on the right has jeans photoshopped into a skirt. I don't feel certain about it.

 

Oh, and if you want to get a feel for Becky Bontrager's motherhood style, read her infamous post in which she argues that introverts are just being rude: http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2016/12/shy-children-part-4-in-motherhood-series.html

@HerNameIsBuffy I don't think it is photoshopped jeans either. It is a long denim skirt with a v seam in the middle. You can tell it is a skirt due to the way the seams on the sides lay all bumpy and not smooth like jeans.

[MamaJunebug]

On 12/29/2019 at 10:50 AM, Howl said:

Oh, my dear fjers, that is the fundy version of wearing jeans.  Wear jeans, but with a knee length dress/tunic/maternity top.  That way the area where naughty happens is covered by not one, but two layers of fabric. (Actually, three if you count the appropriately modest undergarment.)

I remember when the Pennington girls adopted a similar look awhile back -- leggings worn with a cute knee-length dress. 

Back when I was in 3rd-4th grade, in the 1950s, we lived in Anchorage, AK.  The school had two shifts and we were in the morning one.  We waited for the school bus out in the dark in (at times) sub zero temps.  Dress for girls at that time involved big petticoats under shortish skirts.  While waiting for the bus, we wore lined snow pants to keep our legs from actually freezing, but those pants came off the minute we got to school, because girls didn't wear pants, ya know. 

Yep. Had this on the Midwestern plains. Stupidity. 

[LurkerOverThePond]

I'm your classic introvert. When I was a child people always assumed I was shy. I was not, I was minding my own business and not too interested in trivial small talk, and I'm still like that. In right company I can be chatty, too, like with some of my closest co-workers. I HATE how many people expect everyone to be as extroverted as they are, and if you're not like that they ask what's my problem, is there something bothering me, why am I not smiling. 

In conclusion, fuck you Mother Bontrager.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I'm your classic introvert. When I was a child people always assumed I was shy. I was not, I was minding my own business and not too interested in trivial small talk, and I'm still like that. In right company I can be chatty, too, like with some of my closest co-workers. I HATE how many people expect everyone to be as extroverted as they are, and if you're not like that they ask what's my problem, is there something bothering me, why am I not smiling. 

In conclusion, fuck you Mother Bontrager.

It makes me feel so sorry for Becky’s namesake. She mentions that poor little Rebs is one of her quieter children. I wonder how many times she’s gotten in trouble by her mother for being her natural self. My guess is a lot. 

[Cora Persephona]

I am also an introvert label as shy when I was school aged. As a child, I always hated having to "perform" when meeting new people. Adults were not that interesting beacuse, honestly, most of them did not really know how to interact with kids despite having kids of their own sometimes. It got very boring having to answer for the 100th time "what do you want to do when you grow up?" or "who do you love more? mommy or daddy?". I have also always hated small talk, though have gotten better at it as time went by.

People who don't know me well still think I am a quiet person, which is funny to me because I can be a really loud chatterbox with my friends or when the mood strikes me. I recently surprised a colleague at work who heard me joking around. "Oh, what has gotten into you, you're acting differently?" "I'm not acting differently, you are just not generally worthy of me being myself around you ?" (to be honest he still isn't worthy, I was just having a shitty day and compensating by joking around)

Someone once tried to explain to be that I can overcome being an introvert if I just make an effort. I had to explain that it's not a disease or a character flaw, but if they considered it that they might want to stay away from me because I'm very happy with myself, thank you so much.

[SPHASH]

My name for Becky Bontrager-Bitchy Becky.

[browngrl]

It is one thing to help a shy child learn ways to cope with anxiety and to teach an introvert ways that they can interact with others in a way that works for them and Ma Bontragers harsh regimen.  I'm so grateful that I had a family (huge extroverts all) who respected my introversion and let me be when I needed to be left alone.

[Tatar-tot]

That wacky photo is funny as all get out....it is the photo shoot from Sarah’s wild dreams she never gets to do.  We need to hook her up with Ardnt photography!  

[Caroline]

3 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I'm your classic introvert. When I was a child people always assumed I was shy. I was not, I was minding my own business and not too interested in trivial small talk, and I'm still like that. In right company I can be chatty, too, like with some of my closest co-workers. I HATE how many people expect everyone to be as extroverted as they are, and if you're not like that they ask what's my problem, is there something bothering me, why am I not smiling. 

In conclusion, fuck you Mother Bontrager.

My daughter (more introverted than I am) and I were just talking about this kind of thing.  My natural tendency is to need a lot of time alone, become exhausted by too much stimulation, resist parties where there are too many people, and detest small talk.  However, I'm a teacher so I've had to learn to do all of the above in order to survive with lots of different personalities five days a week.  I call myself a 'faketrovert' because it's a real effort sometimes.  I agree about extroverts not getting it and always asking me what's wrong.  My own older sister who has known me for six decades still asks this question. She's a super-extrovert and has to be doing something all the time with people.

Edited January 1, 2020 by Caroline
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