Dillards 74: The Dill in the Pickle

[Audrey2]

2 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

But I don't think I could enjoy eating at Jill's house.

The sad thing is, I think the food would only be the second worst thing about eating at Jill's house. I'd rather eat a Jill monstrosity than eat anything with Derick, or even be in the same room as Derick.

[MarbleRainbow]

I just wanted to say thank you to whoever mentioned Budget Bytes way earlier in this thread. I have never really enjoyed cooking (and I also am disabled, so standing in front of the stove can be taxing), and my husband will cook sometimes, but I have gotten really sick of just turning to throwing a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner lately. I am currently unemployed, so it seemed like a good time to get some new recipes to try. I am very much the type who likes to throw things into one pot and mix it all together - I found a bunch of recipes on Budget Bytes that are totally things I know I will like and my husband will also eat (he can be weirdly picky about food sometimes). Just wanted to say thank you for the tip, because I'm really excited to try some of those recipes now! 

[mpheels]

@MarbleRainbow -you’re welcome! Every recipe I use from budget bytes has turned out well. I found the site when I preparing for my move to Boston and budgeting for my postdoc salary. I’m not a postdoc anymore, but still use it as my go-to recipe source. The recipes are really good, and Beth keeps the narrative “fluff” to the minimum relevant context for the recipe. I meal plan/prep every Sunday, usually cooking 3 recipes with four servings each. There is always a budget bytes recipe in the mix.

[Buzzard]

17 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I remembered this recipe as having tuna, not chicken, so maybe I substituted it. It’s a good recipe, anyway. I think I skipped the mustard seeds.

https://www.penzeys.com/shop/recipes/chicken-salad-with-curry-ginger-dressing/

Penzeys is WAY too liberal for the Duggars to ever dare eat their mustard seeds!

[Granwych]

1 hour ago, Buzzard said:

Penzeys is WAY too liberal for the Duggars to ever dare eat their mustard seeds!

I just unloaded my latest Penzey's order.  Double-strength vanilla, Vietnamese cinnamon, Tellicherry pepper.  A few other spices and a free sample or two.  Wonderful stuff, fun shopping trip.

The Duggars would never pay Penzey' s prices even if the company was as redly Republican as a beet.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

2 hours ago, Buzzard said:

Penzeys is WAY too liberal for the Duggars to ever dare eat their mustard seeds!

It’s for FJ, not them! Get on their email list - they have great coupons.

[Wifey4Lifey]

12 hours ago, mpheels said:

@MarbleRainbow -you’re welcome! Every recipe I use from budget bytes has turned out well. I found the site when I preparing for my move to Boston and budgeting for my postdoc salary. I’m not a postdoc anymore, but still use it as my go-to recipe source. The recipes are really good, and Beth keeps the narrative “fluff” to the minimum relevant context for the recipe. I meal plan/prep every Sunday, usually cooking 3 recipes with four servings each. There is always a budget bytes recipe in the mix.

Another Budget Bytes lover here! I have yet to find a bad recipe on that site, and I've made a ton of them. My coworkers always comment on how good my lunch looks and have learned to stop asking me where I get the recipes, because it's Budget Bytes a solid 98% of the time!

[acheronbeach]

Have we discussed Jill's new Insta post that flogs the anti-abortion movie "Unplanned"?  Like her recipes, she tells us absolutely nothing about what makes it appealing.

The comments - as usual - are more interesting than Jill's post.  There's a spirited pro choice debate and some Kirk Cameron bashing!

[NakedKnees]

At least she and Derrick look like they're actually enjoying being around each other in her Unplanned post. That's unusual.

Movies like this end up being such a good reminder of how awful the Duggars are. That said, I love hate-watching terrible Christian movies so I may do that with this one eventually (would never pay to see it though).

[Hashtag Blessed]

14 minutes ago, NakedKnees said:

At least she and Derrick look like they're actually enjoying being around each other in her Unplanned post. That's unusual.

They just really love oppressing women. Consuming shitty propaganda that reinforces their toxic beliefs, and makes them feel pious and righteous, is probably what brings them the most joy in this world. 

[JordynDarby5]

5 hours ago, NakedKnees said:

At least she and Derrick look like they're actually enjoying being around each other in her Unplanned post. That's unusual.

Movies like this end up being such a good reminder of how awful the Duggars are. That said, I love hate-watching terrible Christian movies so I may do that with this one eventually (would never pay to see it though).

I look forward to terrible Christian movies because I can't wait for Cinema Snob to review them. 

[melon]

On 3/22/2019 at 12:43 AM, ViolaSebastian said:

For as much as we say about Priscilla, with the exception of being in a patriarchal cult, she is SO good with her children. Yes, her values and beliefs are hateful and don't match my own, but she's excellent at talking her children in a clear way that they can comprehend. From what I've seen, she's gentle, loving, and patient. It seems as though her expectations of them are age-appropriate and she seems to honestly enjoy being a mother. I think this is probably one of the best examples--she is straight up beaming at her daughters:

I say all this knowing that these kiddos are most likely receiving corporal punishment, which I do not advocate or support. But as far as fundie mothers go, I think Priscilla is one of the better ones.

Their bed looks just like mine from Rooms to Go....whoa

[AtlanticTug]

7 hours ago, acheronbeach said:

Have we discussed Jill's new Insta post that flogs the anti-abortion movie "Unplanned"?  Like her recipes, she tells us absolutely nothing about what makes it appealing.

It's the third Duggar couple shilling this movie. I think Anna was first (uuuugh), then JimBob and Michelle, now Jill. Only a matter of time before we see Josiah and Lauren is my guess. Jessa may have learned her lesson after the abortion holocaust post a few years ago so she may skip posting about this one but you can bet your ass they all went and saw it and thought it was the best thing since dill pickles.

[Audrey2]

I have no great hope that any of the Duggars will significantly change their toxic beliefs. (Some may move to be a little more open minded on the scale, but I don't see any becoming live and let live on LGBTQ rights or pro choice on abortion.)  I do hope that at least one couple will figure out that you don't have to say every idea that pops into your head. Until they got Instagram, I was hoping this couple would be Joe and Kendra (even though I think they are probably the most steeped in the Kool-Ade, at least they weren't posting about their views).

[acheronbeach]

18 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

It's the third Duggar couple shilling this movie. I think Anna was first (uuuugh), then JimBob and Michelle, now Jill. Only a matter of time before we see Josiah and Lauren is my guess. Jessa may have learned her lesson after the abortion holocaust post a few years ago so she may skip posting about this one but you can bet your ass they all went and saw it and thought it was the best thing since dill pickles.

But is it better than the best movie ever made, Fireproof?  

Sad, because Kirk Cameron flew to Jessa's wedding because he thought their courtship was awesome, but never bothered going to Jilly and Derick's.  

[Georgiana]

12 minutes ago, acheronbeach said:

But is it better than the best movie ever made, Fireproof?  

Sad, because Kirk Cameron flew to Jessa's wedding because he thought their courtship was awesome, but never bothered going to Jilly and Derick's.  

The Duggars really screwed the pooch on how they presented the Dillards' courtship, I think.  We've broken down timelines here before, and Derick and Jill weren't actually THAT much shorter than most Duggar courtships.  I think JD's was shorter, even.  But they way they presented it on the show really did make it seem very rushed, hasty courtship, and I think that left a bad taste in many people's mouths. 

I think most fundies would have preferred Jill and Derick wait until he was back in the states to begin officially courting, and then getting engaged after a reasonable courting period from there (which is still very short, but would have pushed the wedding out likely beyond Jessa's).  Purity concerns aside, fundies do take courting seriously, and I would bet many of them shared our concerns with Derick being in a foreign country for the vast majority of the courtship and Jill and Derick having never met in person before Nepal.  

Ben and Jessa seemed to have an incredibly long courtship with a lot of time together to figure each other out.  Again, when you break it down it wasn't THAT much longer than some of the others (IIRC Ben and Jessa were outed on social media and had to announce whereas most Duggars keep their courtships secret longer), but it felt like they were courting FOREVER in fundie terms.  Not only that, he had the opportunity to get to know her family and be approved by her father on a very intimate level having worked for JB and living in the guest house, and I think ideally under the parent-lead courtship model, THIS is more the type of parental approval they are going for as opposed to passing a questionnaire.  

So I can see Kirk supporting one but not the other.   They were presented very differently to the outside world.  

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, Georgiana said:

The Duggars really screwed the pooch on how they presented the Dillards' courtship, I think.  We've broken down timelines here before, and Derick and Jill weren't actually THAT much shorter than most Duggar courtships.  I think JD's was shorter, even.  But they way they presented it on the show really did make it seem very rushed, hasty courtship, and I think that left a bad taste in many people's mouths. 

I think most fundies would have preferred Jill and Derick wait until he was back in the states to begin officially courting, and then getting engaged after a reasonable courting period from there (which is still very short, but would have pushed the wedding out likely beyond Jessa's).  Purity concerns aside, fundies do take courting seriously, and I would bet many of them shared our concerns with Derick being in a foreign country for the vast majority of the courtship and Jill and Derick having never met in person before Nepal.  

Ben and Jessa seemed to have an incredibly long courtship with a lot of time together to figure each other out.  Again, when you break it down it wasn't THAT much longer than some of the others (IIRC Ben and Jessa were outed on social media and had to announce whereas most Duggars keep their courtships secret longer), but it felt like they were courting FOREVER in fundie terms.  Not only that, he had the opportunity to get to know her family and be approved by her father on a very intimate level having worked for JB and living in the guest house, and I think ideally under the parent-lead courtship model, THIS is more the type of parental approval they are going for as opposed to passing a questionnaire.  

So I can see Kirk supporting one but not the other.   They were presented very differently to the outside world.  

I’m going off memory here, but this is pretty accurate. The Dills were together a total of ten months from the initial (serious) getting to know each other period to marriage. The others breakdown like this:

Smuggars: Don’t really remember and they actually aren’t a great example anyways because cheating and lies and molestations he committed as a teen would have made them the least stable couple regardless of relationship length. I want to say they were around nine months from talking seriously to marriage though? 

JAbbie: Just under six months. I believe they got to know each other for about a week, courted for two months, and we’re engaged for a little over three months or so. They had one of the shortest relationship thus far, but also were the oldest courting couple of the Duggars and come from similar backgrounds though - both of which could have played a significant role in their timeline.

Dillards: Began talking seriously in August 2013 and were married June 2014. Ten months total, though they first spoke briefly in March 2013 and around half that time was spent long distance.

Benessa: Exact start date isn’t known, but they began talking seriously in early 2013. So getting to know you to marriage puts them between 1.5 to 2 years.

JinJer: A little under 11 months. Their courtship was about half as long as the Dills’ though and their entire relationship was long distance. They benefited from living in the same country and Jeremy having a job that appears to have let them travel to see each other more often though.

JoKen: I don’t think we ever got a full timeline for them. From courting to the wedding was six months though. 

SiRen: Again, no idea when they started to seriously talk. From courtship to marriage was around five months though. They had one of the shortest relationships, but it might have been a bit longer than JAbbie’s with the getting to know you period. 

JoStin: As usual, the getting to know you period is hazy. They were about seven months from courtship to marriage though. 

Several of the couples - like JoKen and JoStin - likely benefited from the families knowing one another relatively well for years prior to relationships forming. Derick himself actually had been in contact with JimBob for over two years prior to his courtship with Jill beginning. He first met them while caroling with a Church group at the TTH around Christmas 2011. Jeremy, on the other hand, had only known Benessa for a couple of months (if even that long) when he was introduced to Jinger and the rest of the family. I think he met them when they were traveling through Texas for a Conference in the fall of 2015, shortly before Jessa’s baby shower for Spurgeon. I believe that Ben, meanwhile, first made contact with the Duggars in the fall of 2012.

[Georgiana]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

I’m going off memory here, but this is pretty accurate. The Dills were together a total of ten months from the initial (serious) getting to know each other period to marriage. The others breakdown like this:

Smuggars: Don’t really remember and they actually aren’t a great example anyways because cheating and lies and molestations he committed as a teen would have made them the least stable couple regardless of relationship length. I want to say they were around nine months from talking seriously to marriage though? 

JAbbie: Just under six months. I believe they got to know each other for about a week, courted for two months, and we’re engaged for a little over three months or so. They had one of the shortest relationship thus far, but also were the oldest courting couple of the Duggars and come from similar backgrounds though - both of which could have played a significant role in their timeline.

Dillards: Began talking seriously in August 2013 and were married June 2014. Ten months total, though they first spoke briefly in March 2013 and around half that time was spent long distance.

Benessa: Exact start date isn’t known, but they began talking seriously in early 2013. So getting to know you to marriage puts them between 1.5 to 2 years.

JinJer: A little under 11 months. Their courtship was about half as long as the Dills’ though and their entire relationship was long distance. They benefited from living in the same country and Jeremy having a job that appears to have let them travel to see each other more often though.

JoKen: I don’t think we ever got a full timeline for them. From courting to the wedding was six months though. 

SiRen: Again, no idea when they started to seriously talk. From courtship to marriage was around five months though. They had one of the shortest relationships, but it might have been a bit longer than JAbbie’s with the getting to know you period. 

JoStin: As usual, the getting to know you period is hazy. They were about seven months from courtship to marriage though. 

Several of the couples - like JoKen and JoStin - likely benefited from the families knowing one another relatively well for years prior to relationships forming. Derick himself actually had been in contact with JimBob for over two years prior to his courtship with Jill beginning. He first met them while caroling with a Church group at the TTH around Christmas 2011. Jeremy, on the other hand, had only known Benessa for a couple of months (if even that long) when he was introduced to Jinger and the rest of the family. I think he met them when they were traveling through Texas for a Conference in the fall of 2015, shortly before Jessa’s baby shower for Spurgeon. I believe that Ben, meanwhile, first made contact with the Duggars in the fall of 2012.

This is what I'm remembering too, but I wasn't familiar with the exact timelines of the more recent couples.  It's always been shocking to me to think that not only were the Dillards really on the middle to long side of Duggar relationships, but that their entire relationship really was incredibly similar to JinJer's.  And JinJer didn't receive the same type of criticism about a long distance courtship or rushing things, despite red flags like Jeremy's shock in discovering that Jinger was very funny....after he married her. What is this, Mad Men? You should not be learning such basic things about your bride AFTER marriage, and CLEARLY you did not know her well before.  But it all got glossed over because the Duggars had learned how to better present their relationships on camera, and so it SEEMED like probably JinJer had been together longer.  To be honest, I felt like Derick actually knew Jill better than Jeremy knew Jinger upon their respective vows.   

The Dillards actually didn't rush things, in terms of fundie standards, but it sure FELT like they did because of how the relationship was presented on the show.  And now that their relationship does not appear to be as happy as the others, that's really come back to bite them.  Which sucks for them, because none of that was their fault.  

[Smee]

I think there are several reasons that JinJer got more of a free pass while the Dills faced so much criticism, and none of it was really Jill and Dwreck’s fault. The fact that their courtship/marriage was concurrent with Benessa’s and Benessa had a “long” courtship meant that theirs SEEMED short. Then, because Jill was the first girl to marry, the first wedding in several years, the first “big story” since Michelle’s uterus called it quits, it got a lot of attention and we just didn’t have much to compare it to. People hadn’t got used to the fundie-standard of ten minute engagements, so it was “short” because most people were thinking of non-fundie relationships where anything under a year is very rushed. Jill announced her pregnancy early and got pregnant very soon after the wedding, so it really seemed like she was diving in to life as Michelle 2.0.

When JinJer’s courtship was announced, Jeremy was “a 28 year old soccer player” who was the best looking and best dressed of the bunch. He’d been to college. He’d talked about “past sin”, maybe he was sexually experienced and it might not suck for Jinger! He’d travelled. He was taking her to live much further away from her parents than the other married kidult wimmin. Jinger was the one who wanted to live in a city, who rolled her eyes and took a long time to learn modesty. Maybe she would break free!!!!! 

Of course, she did not. Meanwhile, Derrick was behaving like a jerk on air and fast becoming everyone’s least favourite in-law. If JinJer had happened a year BEFORE the Dills, there might have been a whole lot more questioning of how short and long-distance their relationship was.

[SassyPants]

I think the biggest hits to the Dillards are centered around their awkwardness and apparent lack of social skills, and the change from how they both presented before their wedding and now.  Before the wedding Jill seem confident and secure in her beliefs and now she seems so awkward and backwards. Dillard went from seemingly being quiet and thoughtful to being entitled and rude...likely was just on his best behavior before the wedding. Initially they seemed like a good match. The Dillards did not have the right personalities or “look” for the TV job. If Derick can rein in his mouth and the need to share his every belief with the world, he could be a successful attorney or accountant (probably a better fit). With the proper training, Jill could work in HC or maybe childcare. Regardless, it is better for their kids to have more private lives.

The Voulos are much more polished. However, a polished turd is still a ?. Also, they did themselves a huge favor by delaying adding a baby for the first 18 months of their marriage. For the business that they are in (TV, because let’s be honest, that’s how they support themselves), the Voulos have good personalities and the right “look” for the job. I see way more Joel Osteen here, than JB Duggar. I doubt  a Quiverfull, hungry kids or WM (or Goodwill) shopping is in their his future plans.

 

ETA- I also think that Jill struggles with Dillard being her headship and his beliefs vs her Daddy’s standards. I think she fears those changes. OTOH, Jinger seems like she has welcomed the changes that marriage has brought to her life. The difference how each woman has assimilated those changes (or fought them) affects how we perceive their level of happiness in their marriages.

[acheronbeach]

41 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

The Dillards did not have the right personalities or “look” for the TV job. If Derick can rein in his mouth and the need to share his every belief with the world, he could be a successful attorney or accountant (probably a better fit). With the proper training, Jill could work in HC or maybe childcare. Regardless, it is better for their kids to have more private lives.

The Voulos are much more polished. However, a polished turd is still a ?. Also, they did themselves a huge favor by delaying adding a baby for the first 18 months of their marriage. For the business that they are in (TV, because let’s be honest, that’s how they support themselves), the Voulos have good personalities and the right “look” for the job.

This is so on point.  The Vuolos have their social media down to an art.  He's handsome and has the Minor Celebrity Sinner becomes SAVED story that sells.  She's beautiful and fashionable and has a cute baby.  They rarely make public missteps.  100% can see them as future Osteens 2.0.  

Jill and Derick... they are such a mess and should not pursue a life in the public eye.  Beyond Jill with her social and sartorial awkwardness, we also have her physically repulsive, gagging husband.  They have zero charisma.  The way they publicly talk about Scripture makes it sound boring or hateful.  People like Osteen, Billy Graham and T.D. Jakes don't get up before the congregation and complain and whine like Derick.  They are appealing because they are enthusiastic, energetic or excited about the Bible.  

[OyToTheVey]

1 hour ago, acheronbeach said:

This is so on point.  The Vuolos have their social media down to an art.  He's handsome and has the Minor Celebrity Sinner becomes SAVED story that sells.  She's beautiful and fashionable and has a cute baby.  They rarely make public missteps.  100% can see them as future Osteens 2.0.  

Jill and Derick... they are such a mess and should not pursue a life in the public eye.  Beyond Jill with her social and sartorial awkwardness, we also have her physically repulsive, gagging husband.  They have zero charisma.  The way they publicly talk about Scripture makes it sound boring or hateful.  People like Osteen, Billy Graham and T.D. Jakes don't get up before the congregation and complain and whine like Derick.  They are appealing because they are enthusiastic, energetic or excited about the Bible.  

Bring in Gramma Vuolo and her openness and people see a cute family that loves being together. The Duggars present as cold and unfeeling most times.

[onekidanddone]

53 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

Bring in Gramma Vuolo and her openness and people see a cute family that loves being together. The Duggars present as cold and unfeeling most times.

Agreed. Who but the Duggars and Bates side hug their own children and siblings?

[OyToTheVey]

1 hour ago, onekidanddone said:

Agreed. Who but the Duggars and Bates side hug their own children and siblings?

FUCKING COLD!!! Most of the time when they greet each other it's like introducing strangers at a funeral! Actually I just went to a funeral, people were much warmer with each other on Sunday than when the Duggars great each other.

[SassyPants]

Despite all the talk about how the Duggars are all each others’ best friends, it’s obvious that there are few real connections amongst the members. This is what happens when you attempt to have 19 children thrive in a 24 hour a day world. There just is no time for anything solid or productive from happening, especially when you add in lack of appropriate discipline and time management. No time for real education, jobs, character and relationship development, fostering of individualism, healthy meals, sheets on beds, pet care, healthy habits of any kind, really. It was all the easy way, careseat hacks and feeding toddlers cold food out of tin cans. I’ve said it many times, what these folks did ( and are still doing) borders on neglect. Poor Jill, part of her disintegration is likely caused by her slow realization that the shitty tactics her parents swore by are not accepted at all by mainstream, healthy, even faith filled adults, maybe even her husband and MIL. Can you imagine the mind screwing she has likely faced? I think Jessa, Josh and Jinger realized along the way to maturation that a great deal of what JB and M did and espoused borders on utter bullshite.