Dillards 74: The Dill in the Pickle

[karen77]

8 minutes ago, FrozenSmile said:

Looks like Derick has some wisdom to pass along to everyone, especially millennials. 

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2019/03/confessions-of-a-christ-seeking-millennial/?fbclid=IwAR3QV0-j0f7s0raWgA0KlSlwq0LPfwJ4qh6wI9ge_gyCkbmT9cuw4JPHW-I

Very interesting. Some is actually decent advice.

But not waiting for the "one'...so he didn't, Jill isn't it? but then he states that she is? what?

[Bobology]

5 hours ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

why doesn't she just divide it into two casserole dishes and freeze one then?

She may have never thought of this; it's a great idea.

 

 

46 minutes ago, backyard sylph said:

I went from feeding eight to six to four to, well, here's something I made if you want some, and have attuned myself to living on leftovers

I have always prepared larger amounts than one meal because we all liked leftovers and I took them to work for my lunches. We've seen how Jill packs lunches for Derick and I bet she often uses leftovers. She may even parcel out the leftovers into single-serving containers and freeze them. But it seems she would address this and 'encourage' others to do it as a way to save time/money.

[bella8050]

 

Wreck has graced us all with some deep thoughts while on his Spring break - titled "Confessions of a Christ-Seeking Millennial"

 

Oh "typical as can be" Derick, so many little nuggets to unpack here.  Thanks for that uplifting message for all your single readers. Also I am confused over his message of what "the one" means to a married person - like no matter if you're happy or feeling you may have chosen the wrong person they are still "the one" regardless now because you put a ring on it. Also wondering what this has to do with him being a millennial. Seems like these "risks" are ones people from all generations take.

ETA: oops sorry did not see the link had been posted above

 

[SassyPantswithASideofClass]

8 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

 Ofjill states: "For example, one myth I hear going around in the Christian millennial world is this notion of “the one.”  Young singles expect to see the clouds part and hear the hallelujah chorus when they meet their soul mate, and if that hasn’t happened, then they believe that they must continue waiting for “the one.”  If you carry this thinking into married life, you may even question yourself about whether you passed up “the one” or should have waited a little longer because “the one” was just over the horizon.  If you’re married (to a Christian or not), “the one” is always going to be who you are married to.  My “one” is always Jill Michelle Dillard.  If you aren’t married, don’t wait for a perfect person because you’ll just die single." 

Damn. What a prick. Does that strike anyone else as a dig on Jill?

Well Dang Derick. What are you implying when you say "If you aren't married, don't wait for a perfect person because you'll just die single." ?  Look here dude, I am single but guess what I don't want a perfect person. I want someone whose been through crap (pardon my language fellow commentators) but has grown and matured from it. I don't need a prince nor do I need a knight in shining armor (looking at you JROD, Duggars etc.). I need a man whose armor has been tested, who has survived, is still growing and maturing amongst other things. Sorry went off on a tangent.

[nausicaa]

On 3/19/2019 at 10:01 AM, JesSky03 said:

?I totally made a similar recipe early on in our marriage...1 can of cream of mushroom, 1 can of cream of chicken, 1 cup of sour cream, poached chicken, egg noodles, and was topped with crushed Ritz drowned in butter.

Can your arteries harden just by reading a post? ?

[TheOneAndOnly]

1 hour ago, bella8050 said:

Also I am confused over his message of what "the one" means to a married person - like no matter if you're happy or feeling you may have chosen the wrong person they are still "the one" regardless now because you put a ring on it.

I also go the feeling he was saying that Jill was "the one" because the paperwork was signed and so now he's stuck so may as well suck it up. 

 

[Sullie06]

2 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

 Ofjill states: "For example, one myth I hear going around in the Christian millennial world is this notion of “the one.”  Young singles expect to see the clouds part and hear the hallelujah chorus when they meet their soul mate, and if that hasn’t happened, then they believe that they must continue waiting for “the one.”  If you carry this thinking into married life, you may even question yourself about whether you passed up “the one” or should have waited a little longer because “the one” was just over the horizon.  If you’re married (to a Christian or not), “the one” is always going to be who you are married to.  My “one” is always Jill Michelle Dillard.  If you aren’t married, don’t wait for a perfect person because you’ll just die single." 

Damn. What a prick. Does that strike anyone else as a dig on Jill?

This 100% makes me feel that Derek is not happy to be married to Jill. I take this as him, trying to convince himself that Jill is in fact the one. Here is a guy, who married a woman he barely knew for what every motive he had and now he's stuck with her. Maybe being single is better, in the end, than just marrying any old person just to get married. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

Agree that Derick is not happy being married to Jill (shocked, I tell you!).  This could have been an uplifting piece about looking for Mr./Ms. Right in the everyday vs. waiting for ‘the one’ to show up, but that was not his experience.  He pursued Boob presumably to find a way to fund his mission-cation activities, and arranged himself a wife in the process.  Now he has buyer’s remorse.  He reminds me of moms that rabidly extol the virtues of motherhood yet are unhappy actually being mothers.

And I’m pretty sure most millienials, like everyone else, are not looking for perfection.

His ‘you’ll die single’ line pretty much sums up how unhappy he is.

[lizzybee]

My grandmother used to make chicken very similar to this and what some of you guys have shared. Ours was/is noodle free and vegetable free. We still call it "Nanny's chicken casserole." I use cream of chicken mixed with sour cream over shredded chicken and topped with Ritz crackers mixed with melted butter or margarine. I've seen poppy seeds used with this type of casserole before. It's the sort of thing I'd serve with veggies on the side. It's definitely a comfort food dish, but it's also super quick and easy because nothing really needs to cook through once it's in casserole form. I'd boil the chicken in advance, toss it in the kitchenaid mixer to shred, assemble, and bake for 25 minutes. The last time I made it, I packaged it up and we ate it in the car on the way to see Christmas lights. Jill, my sweet, you gotta smash those crackers up better than that. You can do it right in the sleeve, just keep crushing until you've got powder. It'll incorporate with the butter so much better that way, you can thank me later. 

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, Sullie06 said:

Maybe being single is better, in the end, than just marrying any old person just to get married. 

It's definitely better.

[DarkAnts]

Dericks post is so sad. Jill was head over heals for Derick. Now it seems like he just settled for her. This kind of explains the best husband ever posts. She may have to convince herself everyday that he loves her. This is why the courtship model is broken. She is now left trying to keep the family together. According to her mom, it’s the wife’s fault if the merrage failed. That has to weigh heavily on her.

[bella8050]

I'm so happy I didn't know someone like Derick when I was in my early 20s trying to decide what to do about a relationship I was in. There were definite issues, but he was a nice, well intentioned guy who wanted to get married and have kids. I went back and forth over whether that would be enough to cover the issues that were there. I wasn't, and still am not looking for perfect, but I need more than "good enough or face dying alone". Thankfully there wasn't pressure on me to get engaged after a couple months with a quickie wedding after that. I might have said yes, and am sure I'd either be in a miserable marriage or divorced by now.

[Iamtheway]

There’s actually a good advice hiding in there and if someone else had written it I would have thought it just came out a bit wrong but since it’s Derick I just think he’s a massive ass and feel very sorry for Jill. 

I don’t believe in ”the one”, I think there are many people out there that would work for me, some better, some worse. Maybe some that would work better then Mr Way, but when I married him I made a choice to work on getting our relationship to hold. 

I’m not always in love with him but I always love him and I know that a relationship will have it’s ups and downs and I am comitted to do my best to work through the hard bits. But I also know that I’m not stuck. If he suddenly turned in to a giant turd I can divorce him and no one would judge me or tell me I have to stay with him. I also had plenty of time to make sure he was the one for me before I married him. I dated other guys before him, we lived together before we got married. When I said ”I do” I was marrying my best friend and was completly comfortable with my choice to do so. Everyone deserves to feel like that on their wedding day.

[lizzybee]

I'm tempted to say that this advice came directly from JB and Michelle. I watched all 3 hours of their talk with David and Priscilla in Sacramento off their latest blog post yesterday (because apparently I have no life) and this was pretty close to the advice they gave someone who asked them a question about the one at the end. They essentially said that whether or not that person was the best person for you, once you're married that person is now 100% absolutely the one no matter what. Terrible advice if you're being abused or something, but that's what was said. 

[lexiloumarie]

1 hour ago, lizzybee said:

My grandmother used to make chicken very similar to this and what some of you guys have shared. Ours was/is noodle free and vegetable free. We still call it "Nanny's chicken casserole." I use cream of chicken mixed with sour cream over shredded chicken and topped with Ritz crackers mixed with melted butter or margarine. I've seen poppy seeds used with this type of casserole before. It's the sort of thing I'd serve with veggies on the side. It's definitely a comfort food dish, but it's also super quick and easy because nothing really needs to cook through once it's in casserole form. I'd boil the chicken in advance, toss it in the kitchenaid mixer to shred, assemble, and bake for 25 minutes. The last time I made it, I packaged it up and we ate it in the car on the way to see Christmas lights. Jill, my sweet, you gotta smash those crackers up better than that. You can do it right in the sleeve, just keep crushing until you've got powder. It'll incorporate with the butter so much better that way, you can thank me later. 

I use crushed corn flakes and buttwr - it's delicious. A rare treat but delicious.

[Baxter]

I dated a guy for a little while who on paper seemed perfect for me. But over the course of the couple months we dated, there was always something off about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I didn't have much dating experience at the time so I waffled about breaking up with him because he seemed so perfect in so many ways at the time. When we broke up, I immediately felt relieved which I instantly knew meant that we should not be together and that I had made the right decision. I'm now happily married to someone who I really love and never had any uneasy feelings about.

If I were fundie, I'm sure we probably would have ended up getting engaged and married and if I had have expressed those feelings to someone, they would have told me that I was just having normal jitters (that is if I even expressed those doubts to anyone). Courtship is just crazy.

[viii]

I've been single for the majority of my life, I've never been in a serious relationship before. I try to convince myself it's better to be alone than to be unhappily wed to someone, but there's a part of me that is desperate for a relationship, even if it's not the greatest.

[lizzybee]

Here is the link for this specific conversation for "the one." 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I think it has dawned on both of them that they made the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF THEIR FUCKING LIVES, when they married, and  they can't seem to figure out anyway to make it work, or get out of it.  There is NO shame in divorce, it happens, and neither of them will burn in hell for it, no matter what they think. I just hope they don't inflict anymore children on this train wreck of a family because that will NOT help, at all. 

Their could be ways to make this marriage better if 1, Derrick like Jill get a job in a daycare, or let her work some small job where she got out of the house and got some friends of her own. Derrick won't feel so obligated to keep HER entertained and he can focus on his favorite thing, himself. The kids will get to socialize with other kids their age and get a REAL education, that would be a total winner for all 4 of them. 

[kmachete14]

I think Derick is just a terrible writer and communicator, and is recycling other people's already stated ideas! Once you're married, if you do have doubts later on, or are in a tough place, or are comparing your SO to someone else, you do have to remember that you are married and this person is the "one" for you, since you chose to love them everyday! Like the saying "the grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it." 

However, Derick makes it come across as once you settle, you better be in the for the long haul, and inadvertently seems to reveal his relationship with Jill is rocky and he's already had these doubts often and has to work to keep loving her everyday. 

I too think that there isn't "one" person out there for me, but things aligned for me to become engaged to my fiancé, and I am so happy with him! He's my best friend! But I could see how one different decision in college might have led be down a different path where I would have found someone else. Regardless of these ponderings, he's still my "one" once we're married (and in my eyes, right now too lol). 

 

[PennySycamore]

@SassyPantswithASideofClass,  crap is pretty mild language around these parts.  Feel free to let your Filthy Speech Movement flag fly!  (Well, except for maybe See-You-Next-Tuesday.)

[Satan'sFortress]

1 hour ago, lizzybee said:

Here is the link for this specific conversation for "the one." 

I couldn't make it very far.

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, viii said:

I've been single for the majority of my life, I've never been in a serious relationship before. I try to convince myself it's better to be alone than to be unhappily wed to someone, but there's a part of me that is desperate for a relationship, even if it's not the greatest.

I understand. Singleness can involve loneliness which can be tough to deal with (actually, being married can involve loneliness too). No relationship is perfect, and the grass always seems greener on the other side. I hope you get whatever it is that you truly want.

[luv2laugh]

2 hours ago, lizzybee said:

I'm tempted to say that this advice came directly from JB and Michelle. I watched all 3 hours of their talk with David and Priscilla in Sacramento off their latest blog post yesterday (because apparently I have no life) and this was pretty close to the advice they gave someone who asked them a question about the one at the end. They essentially said that whether or not that person was the best person for you, once you're married that person is now 100% absolutely the one no matter what. Terrible advice if you're being abused or something, but that's what was said. 

I watched it as well. What did you think of how  Michelle answered the question “Why do 2 of your oldest daughters wear skirts and the others wear pants now?” I felt Michelle became visibly upset and was shading Derick by saying “Men are gentlemen and open doors for me because I look like a woman... blah blah ‘weareth not which pertaineth to a man’ blah blah... BUT the leader will have to give an account of how he lead! Modesty is everything.” And how quickly JB jumped in to cut her off and shut it down (when she referred to how leader has to give an account to God on how he lead?) Again, when they were asked the denomination question, I felt both JB and David were referring to Derick. 

In my opinion, David Waller was shading them when he mentioned “Girls brought up with modesty and throw it out the window after marriage (look at Michelle’s face when he said that)”

I believe the anonymous “friend” of David that “fell away” by getting pregnant out of wedlock and is playing the “dating game” is actually Priscilla’s sister and it was wrong of them to bring it up.

I think David Waller is trying to replace Josh and get into the family... Michelle introduced them as basically one of her kids and mentioned Priscilla being Anna’s sister but no mention of Josh.

Also, David is following JB’s ways by his recent acquisition of the 2nd home.

They also mentioned how God gives signs about finances such as a river drying up (just like money) to search for another path (or another job).  David mentioned struggling and I think he believes IBLP is drying up financially,  it’s also been reported it has been, and I think he wants to work for Jim Bob...

[Lurky]

Re food insecurity and cooking on budgets, I always recommend Jack Monroe's recipes.  They're specifically designed to be healthy, tasty food on absolute minimum budgets, and take into account the cost of cooking too.  Jack's latest project is making recipes with things you find in food banks, and has donated copies of their recipe books to food banks too.

https://cookingonabootstrap.com/

It's all British measurements, but they come with price per portion.  It started as a blog when Jack was living on benefits, and struggling, so it's very real, and it includes treats, because hell yeah people on desperate budgets deserve treats, too.  I love Jack's work, it's amazing.

That said, the thing that depresses me about Jill Dillard is that I completely get that the recipes she grew up with come from a place of poverty, and I am a big subscriber to the school of "add a heap of butter to it, it'll taste great" (but definitely not everyday!) but it's sad that as her circumstances have changed, she's just making the recipes *more* unhealthy. I say this a lot about the Duggars, but it's so, so sad that the daughters have been brought up to believe their only option in life is to be a housewife, but at the same time, haven't been educated in any ways that prepare them to do it objectively well.  EG women cooking for the family is very important to their cult, but they don't seem to have grown up with recipe books, or the chance to experiment, because cooking meant feeding 17 people at least, quickly and with a chance to get food themselves, and it doesn't feel like they had the option to learn cooking basics.  They can go to classes to make a regional treat on their honeymoons, but going to a regular class, locally, to learn basics would be to admit their education was sub-par, and that's doubting God, for them.  So sad.