Lori Alexander: 63: Teacher of Foolishness

[ColeJo]

@SilverBeach Teachers are to held to a stricter standard. "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness" (James 3:1)

There is a huge responsibility in calling yourself a teacher, especially when eternity is at stake. Heck, I taught a lesson to a mixed young adults group and I wanted to make sure I didn't take anything out of context because it is a great burden.

She needs to know the difference between her personal conviction and what the Bible actually says. 

[Loveday]

The trouble with the way Lori 'teaches' the Bible is this: The Bible isn't meant to be divided along sex lines and taught separately. It's meant to be taught as a whole, to everyone. ALL of the Bible is meant for ALL. You can't teach half of a chapter, or in some cases, a single verse, to women, and leave out the other half because it's addressing men. Something is always missing, it just creates a gaping hole and a lot of confusion. That's one reason she gets so much "But what about what men are supposed to do in a marriage? What about their part?" She doesn't seem to get that she can talk about that half of the equation without seeming to 'teach men,' or tell women that they should try to change their husbands or that they should expect anything from them (God forbid a woman should expect her husband to do anything, in Lori's weird world). 

What she should do, since she's so adamantly opposed to 'teaching men,' is have Ken share her blog and present the other half of a verse or chapter along with hers, on a day to day basis when warranted. It would still be a lot of crazy (and a whole lot of Ken's word-vomit), but at least it would make slightly more sense, and would give all these MRA jerks who hang out on her blog a better reason for doing so.

[SongRed7]

11 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Lori Alexander is unqualified to teach anybody anything anytime anywhere.

Agreed!  Reading Lori’s “teachings” leave me alternately frustrated, angry, shocked, eye-rolling, laughing out loud (at her ridiculousness) in a daily basis. But most of all it just makes me sad to my core-  that she has such low esteem for women and that she is misleading many.  I agree with the person who early said the Bible as meant as a whole— not segregated according to sex.  Her marriage advice sounds like a desert survival guide. Constantly miserable.  It’s not supposed to be that way! 

[Lgirlrocks]

I don’t agree that a godly older women should mentor a women is is going through marital problems. A Christian counselor may be fine if they are licensed through an accredited school. 

this is why their needs to be open communication and dialogue. Without it women will fell trapped. And when they say nothing and nothing changes they will feel like they failed. 

[Loveday]

Three Things Every Husband Needs:

1. Sex

2. Sandwiches

3. Submission

There you have it, straight from Lori this morning.

[Hane]

Lori’s blather about the “godly older woman, competent to counsel” brings back memories of my second ex-MIL, a woman of astonishingly inflated ego and self-importance. She took incredible pride in counseling her youngest DIL not to leave her alcoholic, lying, adulterous husband—ex-MIL’s coddled youngest and favorite child. 

(She used to go on and on about how much more sophisticated and dignified she was than all the “giggling, simpering” girls at her high school. I always wanted to ask her about her premarital pregnancy and child she relinquished for adoption, but that would have been cruel.)

[Lgirlrocks]

if you actually read the whole bible not just three versus you would see that women were in fact property. They were bought and sold to the highest bidder. Women was created to help man but nowhere does it specifically say how she is to help. I serve my boyfriend because I enjoy it but it is not an all the time thing. I’ve tried serving him all the time and he doesn’t want it. If he is sick that’s one thing. He is just as capable as I am to make a sandwich. 

Spoiler

Biblical submission leads to abuse, not all of the time but most. A women is to submit to her husband in all things unless it’s wrong. Who is to say what is wrong? Any godly man will want a wife with a brain that freely gives her opinion. He would also want someone that does more than make sendwiches and have sex. TMI but my bf and I have been in a dry spell, him not being in the mood due to life. If sex was all that I was good for he would have moved on to someone else. We also wouldn’t enjoy each other if all we had was sex. 

Spoiler

Derek please stay in your lane. It’s toxic masculinity that is bad. Nothing wrong with men being men as long as they aren’t toxic. Same for feminist. 

Spoiler

My mom grew up Jewish in the 60’s/70’s. Her mom was an Orthodox Jew who was born in 1921. She quit school to help her family with money. Her family did well during the depression. My grandma worked her whole life up until retirement. She submitted to no man. She was very loud and opinionated. My grandma encouraged me to get an education to take care of myself. 

Spoiler

Lori leaving out important parts of the scripture is wrong. Lk is right. Women need to know how they are supposed to be treated. By showing the whole verse to women you aren’t teaching men. If you are afraid of accidentally teaching men make your page women only. You can make it private and only allow women to follow. You could also take away comments. Of course then your ego wouldn’t be stroked.

of course you’re okay with your definition of biblical submission. You get to stay home, manage the house keeper, sleep in, eat what you want, and buy what you want. If ken wanted more out of the relationship you’d either start complaining or be out of there. Yes you’ve been married for a long time but you don’t have a healthy marriage. 10 minutes and some lube a few times a week isn’t healthy. 

[refugee]

On 3/14/2019 at 6:58 AM, delphinium65 said:

A FB friend posted this little gem today.  How many of these characteristics apply to Lori?  

At the risk of repeating someone else (don’t have time to read to the end of the thread), is “jezebel” christianese for narcissist?

In which case, there are an awful lot of churchian men out there who deserve the label. How lucky for them that it’s a term they can reject as applicable to them because it’s a clearly female name.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

I really wish Lori Alexander (who is a monster) really wouldn't teach men. I wish she wouldn't teach abusers ways to abuse better. I wish she wouldn't teach incels/"red pill"ers new ways to resent and blame women who don't buy their b.s. And I really wish she wouldn't give all these nasty men a place to spew their vitriol without any fear that she will ever delete their posts the way she deletes Bible verses, posts by reasonable men, and any posts by women that aren't fawning approval. Yup. I'd be on board with Lori Alexander (who is a monster) never teaching men ever again. (I'd also be fine if she never "taught" anyone frankly.)

[polecat]

Brad says: 

Quote

Are you married? How long have you been married? Are you actually happy? 

Look, I haven't been married as long as Lori has, but I've been *happily married* longer than she has. I didn't have two decades of misery, at which point my husband threatened to leave me, forcing me to find new ways to manipulate my husband so that the money wouldn't dry up. Nope. That wasn't the evil feminist me. That was LORI, of "Lori Alexander is a fucking monster" fame.  

So you know what, BRAD? I kinda feel like, even though I'm far from a pro, I'm in a far better position to pontificate about marriage and relationships than Lori EVER was. 

 

[Sarah92]

Sooo what do women need Lori? I mean if you're mentoring them then you should be teaching women about their own personal wants and needs. Mentoring means helping people developing a fuller view of themselves and helping them gain insight into what they need as individuals. BTW Sex, sandwiches, and submission are wants not needs. Men need none of those things for survival. People need food, water, and shelter. After that, they can travel up the hierarchy of needs and wants. 

Lets try this: women want men who can make their own damn sandwich and not someone who expects women to diminish themselves in order to make men happy. A person who expects others to diminish themselves will never be happy with what is given to them. Because it comes from a place of pride it will never be enough. That's why abusers are never satisfied with submission because they can have the meekest wife but still see her as being rebellious. Similarily, any man who is so caught up with a person's gender to the point where it hinders their ability to hear God's word are full of pride. Period. 

[Evangeline]

I just fake-apologized to my husband for only providing one out of three of his "needs" (sex, if you must know ?). After he cracked a joke, he got offended. He was all "Who is this person? Why does she say that? Isn't that kind of degrading to men? I mean, what about companionship?" He was raised Southern Baptist but has never expected me to submit to him, and he makes his own damn sandwiches. Thanks, Lori, but we'll pass on your version of marriage. 

[dairyfreelife]

3 hours ago, polecat said:

Brad says: 

Look, I haven't been married as long as Lori has, but I've been *happily married* longer than she has. I didn't have two decades of misery, at which point my husband threatened to leave me, forcing me to find new ways to manipulate my husband so that the money wouldn't dry up. Nope. That wasn't the evil feminist me. That was LORI, of "Lori Alexander is a fucking monster" fame.  

So you know what, BRAD? I kinda feel like, even though I'm far from a pro, I'm in a far better position to pontificate about marriage and relationships than Lori EVER was. 

 

I haven't been married yet and I've already been happily maried longer than she has because Lori has clearly never been happily married and never will be.

I guarantee the single women and men of FJ all could offer better marriage advice than Lori as well. Those who've never been in a relationship would offer better advice. Who am I kidding? The preschoolers I work with would be in a better position to offer marriage advice than Lori. 

[feministxtian]

6 hours ago, polecat said:

Brad says: 

Look, I haven't been married as long as Lori has, but I've been *happily married* longer than she has. I didn't have two decades of misery, at which point my husband threatened to leave me, forcing me to find new ways to manipulate my husband so that the money wouldn't dry up. Nope. That wasn't the evil feminist me. That was LORI, of "Lori Alexander is a fucking monster" fame.  

So you know what, BRAD? I kinda feel like, even though I'm far from a pro, I'm in a far better position to pontificate about marriage and relationships than Lori EVER was. 

 

20+ years of marriage here. We've had our ups and downs. But, I didn't and don't manipulate my husband into getting what I want (although I could because I'm a spoiled brat). I'm independent AF, handle most of what comes up around here, make much more money than he does, but have never seen a reason to be a bitch about it. Shit, you should hear him brag about the new truck I bought him...yes, I bought him a new Expedition to take the place of the raggedy old one (which puked a spark plug through the block 2 weeks later). He sure as shit didn't feel emasculated over it, he thinks it's awesome, fantastic, the ultimate best gift he's ever gotten (besides me). 

Lori, yes, being good to your man is important...but being a simpering, weasely, holier-than-thou bitch is not how to do it. Ken, you're no better than your wife. You BOTH are fucking miserable. The only reason you haven't split is b/c CA is a community property state. 

[wallysmommy]

I thought the sex recipient and submissive wife was required to prepare home cooked nutritious meals, not just sandwiches. Have we lowered the godly wife standards  of are we getting a glimpse into Chez Alexander?

[Sarah92]

2 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

I thought the sex recipient and submissive wife was required to prepare home cooked nutritious meals, not just sandwiches. Have we lowered the godly wife standards  of are we getting a glimpse into Chez Alexander?

Seriously! Most sandwhiches are full of gluten, processed meat, and processed cheese! What kind of transformed wife recommends just giving a husband a sandwhich? Poor thing is probably starving from lack of nutritious.

[smittykins]

Well, if it’s made with Einkorn bread and $14 butter, it should even out, right?

[klein_roeschen]

7 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

I thought the sex recipient and submissive wife was required to prepare home cooked nutritious meals, not just sandwiches. Have we lowered the godly wife standards  of are we getting a glimpse into Chez Alexander?

Judging by Lori's "soup" recipes, a sandwich from a gasstation in the middle of nowhere would more tasting.

[SweetLaurel]

16 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Sooo what do women need Lori? I mean if you're mentoring them then you should be teaching women about their own personal wants and needs.

You must not have read Lori very long.  Women's needs  and wants don't count.   Females who need and want  things are selfish shrill feminists who hate God.   They are only allowed by God&Lori to be clones of Lori once she transformed.  You are not allowed to want money to feed your kids, you will  make do on only the manna God sprinkles from heaven.  You have no need to fear dying in childbirth despite what your doctor told you.  Don't you believe in God?  He could very well want your children to be motherless!   You have no need to use your brain for any sort of career outside the home. God will provide in any 'exception' (despite all the widows in my widows groups who have lost their homes.  Obviously they simply  didn't care about God.)    You have no need for personal satisfaction, wiping butts is as good as it will ever get.  Crawling after your husband and kids should satisfy everything in your Godly soul.  Oh and don't forget to 'pump him dry' as often as he wants (because his wants and  needs count)  no matter how you feel about it!   Thus sayeth the Lord Lori.  

[mango_fandango]

Couple of things:

1) So women aren’t supposed to be controlling or speak negatively or be abusive in any way, but a man can be, and if he is the women must stay with him and pray. Gotcha, Lori.

2) Eczema can come back. I had it pretty badly as a baby and a child. It then disappeared for several years and came back five years ago. Ive had flare ups since. 

3) I’ve never been married or even in a relationship. But I sure as hell wouldn’t take advice from Lori. She advises women in abusive relationships to stay and just pray, continue to submit... yeah, that kind of advice gets women KILLED, Lori. Two women a WEEK are killed by a current (or ex) partner here in the U.K. That’s 104 a YEAR. 

[HoneyBunny]

My mom was a submissive wife to an overbearing husband. Dad certainly had his good points, many of them, but the truth is that he was a powder keg, and we never knew what would set him off. Mom did everything she could to pacify him at all times.  As a result, my older brother got heavily into drugs and drinking in late high school (hidden from my dad by my mom), and got out as soon as he graduated high school. My younger brother and I were anxiety ridden wrecks who started to shake when Dad was due home from work. Dad kicked me out when I was in college, working full time and going to school full time, simply because I asked him how he could be so mean.  My mom would have told you we were a happy, Catholic family. 

Fast forward decades...Dad has passed, older brother is nearly 65, still smoking pot everyday and drinking too much, younger brother and I have been estranged for nine years after he choked me and bashed my head through his wall in a fit of unprovoked anger, and Mom still thinks she has a happy family. I am only close to Mom because she is 88 and I do love her, but, if, just once, she had stood up to her husband instead of being a doormat, I’m convinced that all of our lives would be very different. Once Mom passes, I will have no relationship with my older sibling.

Submissiveness is a recipe for generations of sorrow. I’m convinced Jesus weeps just thinking about it. 

[wallysmommy]

Not so long ago, the OGM posted a video where she said she goes to bed early, and Ken makes an omelet for himself.  Many of my friends have been married for 40+ years.  You can see the joy in their eyes when they look at one another.  It's not something you can fake.  I'm sure their marriages are more than S-cubed as Lori says all men want.

[feministxtian]

35 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

Not so long ago, the OGM posted a video where she said she goes to bed early, and Ken makes an omelet for himself.  Many of my friends have been married for 40+ years.  You can see the joy in their eyes when they look at one another.  It's not something you can fake.  I'm sure their marriages are more than S-cubed as Lori says all men want.

I'll admit I don't cook much these days...something about 12 hour workdays. I usually go to bed before Mr. Xtian, something about getting up at 5:45am (see 12 hour workdays). But...I'm still unreasonably crazy about Mr. and for some reason he thinks I'm all that. 

[refugee]

On 3/14/2019 at 5:28 PM, Lgirlrocks said:

Before it’s gone. 

Lori if a women works to help provide for her family or because she wants things doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter to god either or he would have comainded that women don’t work outside of the home. 

I heard what Lori’s spewing a couple of decades ago from Focus on the Family (Dobson and his guests) and Elisabeth Elliot. Over and over like a drumbeat. They were really pushing hard for women to stay home all through the late 80s and 90s. (I know it wasn’t just the 90s, but that was the period when I was a mom of littles and looking for mentoring and advice.)

I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make, just that her comment in the quoted could have come right off the radio I listened to for companionship and to hear an adult voice at nap times during those years.

ETA: I should have listened to NPR instead.

[SweetLaurel]

24 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I'll admit I don't cook much these days

You don't have to 'admit' to it.  It isn't a shameful secret.  Lots of people don't cook much.  Man, I don't know how people do twelve hour days.  The few years I worked ten just about killed me.   Hat's off to you and all those who do.