Lori Alexander: 63: Teacher of Foolishness

[Hane]

2 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

My parish has a number Nigerian families.  The women usually attend Mass in gorgeous ankle length dresses in beautiful bright patterned fabric, sort of like muumuus, with matching wrapped and tied headpieces.

They are beautiful and modest, But you can still tell they are women by the dress' square neckline, not low cut but definitely showing off a delicate collarbone and forearms (short sleeve dresses).

What would Lori say?  Too much neck showing? Forearms arms are defrauding? Glimpse of ankle is too too much?  Although Lori's navy deep v-neck (nearly to her waist) shirt seems perfectly fine... if you're Lori, If anyone else wore it she'd be a jezebel prostitute

My daughter used to be on the music staff of a parish whose deacon was Nigerian. I attended his son’s wedding there not only to hear her sing, but to admire the gorgeous dresses and headpieces worn by the ladies on the groom’s side of the family.

[Imrlgoddess]

I'm sorry but this was just way too timely to pass up...

[Lgirlrocks]

Patrick a marriage will never be 50/50 all of the time. Some weeks the husband may do more and other weeks it will be the wife. 

[elliha]

9 hours ago, Lisafer said:

And if you're in a burqa, you still might have bare feet and hands...my brother was in Afghanistan and said when they were doing talks with people in the villages, you had to be careful not to look down at the feet of the Afghani women, as it was considered very inappropriate. So I imagine a woman could still take advantage of pretty toes or fingers, possibly jewelry or henna designs depending on the situation. Or voice, body movement, etc. 

Never underestimate the ability of humans to advertise their sexual attractiveness, no matter what they're wearing! 

PS:  while checking up on some of my comments here, I found myself on a rather questionable Islamic fundamentalist site. Between that and Googling Faithful Word Baptist Church and assorted hate groups, I'm going to get myself on some kind of government list at some point...

I remember reading some article from Afghanistan where a man talked about how there was a "problem" with women walking in such a way that their burqas swayed and men were reminded of the curves beneath it by the movement of the cloth and that women were wearing shoes that made noises that men could hear. He also felt that women should never talk unless absolutely necessary because a soft voice can be attractive to a man when he hears it... If you want to be turned on you will be no matter if the other person is fully covered.

[cara]

13 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

You have to hand it to Lori to manage to get ahold of a photo of Rio de Janeiro with two blonde white ladies at the front and center, and almost exclusively white dudes surrounding them. Given her recent influx of white supremacist fans, one has to wonder if this was intentional.

Spoiler

Look at one of the comments under her Insta post. Even the slaves had it good. Better times indeed. 

[TeddyBonkers]

18 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

Sensual?  Isn't that defeating the purpose of modesty in LoriLand?  

I enjoy wearing dresses in hot weather (retro dresses, in case anyone was wondering). It is creepazoids like this guy who come up to me in the store to give me a lecture on "how nice it is to see women dressing like ladies again".

[Lisafer]

1 hour ago, TeddyBonkers said:

I enjoy wearing dresses in hot weather (retro dresses, in case anyone was wondering). It is creepazoids like this guy who come up to me in the store to give me a lecture on "how nice it is to see women dressing like ladies again".

Eek. I still remember walking from the library at about 18 and a middle-aged man paused his pickup in the intersection to tell me he liked my extremely long hair (just past my butt length). Dude, really?

[FullOfGravy]

1 hour ago, TeddyBonkers said:

I enjoy wearing dresses in hot weather (retro dresses, in case anyone was wondering). It is creepazoids like this guy who come up to me in the store to give me a lecture on "how nice it is to see women dressing like ladies again".

I had a man stop me on the street a few years ago to tell me he liked how "classy" my dress was, and how he was glad there were still some "girls" (I was 30) who could look feminine without being half-naked.

Like almost everyone else on that particular street that day, I was there to watch the Pride parade.  If he didn't want to see half-naked (or almost-completely-naked) women, men, and non-binary people, he was in the wrong place.

[Lgirlrocks]

lori, Rebecca never says childrenarent punished for doing this. She says they are. Her whole post is about children being held to a higher standard then adults. I guess you read everything like you do the Bible.

there is nothing wrong with dealing with feelings and emotions that come with bad moods. In order to control them you have to let them out. Being told to suppress or hide them isn’t good for our bodies or mental health. It causes stress. 

[SweetLaurel]

My daughter  has been standing in line, in the Chicago cold, since 5:30 this morning - and there were ten people ahead of her, the first one got there at 4:30.  There are over 50 people behind her.  They are all waiting to sign their kids up for summer 'camp'  daycare because there is such a shortage, apparently, for the older kids.   Look at all those families who hate God and his perfect ways and want what is best for their kids while they put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies, and provide for things like Scouts, lessons, enrichment activities and clothes.   Even a - gasp - vacation like Lori now and then.  Or just keep the lights on.   Lori  has no clue how real people live or what they do for their kids.  Daughter and her husband flipped a coin to see who would stand in line and who would stay with the kids.   He 'won' but will have cooked breakfast and knowing my girl,  have a mimosa waiting for her when she gets home.   He hates God too because he thinks she is amazing and not beneath him in any way.   It's very sad all the hate going on there.   Now most people would see two loving hard working parents who have a great marriage,  and a wonderful, happy family.  But, as we all know, Lori knows better.   I'd suggest to Lori not to tell her  how awful she is till she gets warm though.  

[BullyJBG]

35 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

lori, Rebecca never says childrenarent punished for doing this. She says they are. Her whole post is about children being held to a higher standard then adults. I guess you read everything like you do the Bible.

there is nothing wrong with dealing with feelings and emotions that come with bad moods. In order to control them you have to let them out. Being told to suppress or hide them isn’t good for our bodies or mental health. It causes stress. 

  I think the whole point of this is, kids then are afraid to be themselves; I know I felt that way too. Like being myself was immature. But yet, because parents have that "authority" they can be however they want. As they say, we all have bad days, right? What should be taught, and modeled, is how to handle them in a way that doesn't hurt people. And how to handle it when other people do. Yes, there are people who, I think their "love language" is hurting people. Lori appears to be one of them, if she's actually real. Well, I think if this brain injury she has is contributing to it, she needs to be in a home. But maybe none of them will take her.

[TeddyBonkers]

I am not editing out KB Davies name, because he is a complete and utter fool and his teachings are dangerous.

Feelings and moods are absolutely not desires of the flesh. They are a normal part of living. Even in Biblical times! There is an entire book of the Bible (at least there is in mine?) called "Lamentations". Jesus Himself wept at the death of His friend Lazarus, and He KNEW that his death wasn't permanent! Angels rejoice when a sinner repents!

Bullshit that feelings and moods are desires of the flesh.

[wallysmommy]

The great comment purge has occurred.  The recent posts that had 100+ comments are now down to 16 - 18.  I can't find the one by Lincoln Clay about his booty-call cover picture that he claims is his wife and it's his sock account while he's in FB jail.  

I think the next title thread should be something like "Attracting bigots like flies."

[Sarah92]

I remember when I was studying abroad in Englad a small group of us visited Harrods. There was quite a few Muslim women wearing burqas walking around shopping. Many of them wore gorgeous colorful high heels. I suppose it was their bit of freedom. 

I enjoy dressing up in skirts and dressed and most of mine are below the knee but really it's so I can wear leggings underneath for comfort. Goodbye chub rub, hello it feels like I'm wearing pjs at work.

When I think of modesty, I'm reminded of a mission trip I went on to help a pastor and his wife who were doing a church plant. We were having a block party In a poorer area: passing out food, snow cones, playing games etc. Most of the volunteers were in comfy shorts and t shirts. The pastor's wife was dressed to the nines in a nice dress and pearls. She didn't interact with anyone and hardly helped. Something Lori would have done.  To me that's immodest because she was flaunting a "higher social status" and she had a bad attitude throughout the entire week we were there. Later found out the church plant failed and they moved back home. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Lori is missing the point of her post this morning. Its not about the children. it's about the adults. We shouldn't hold children to a higher standard. 

We will all be in a bad mood or grumpy at times. That said, we all should be careful not to take it out on others.

[klein_roeschen]

1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Lori is missing the point of her post this morning. Its not about the children. it's about the adults. We shouldn't hold children to a higher standard. 

We will all be in a bad mood or grumpy at times. That said, we all should be careful not to take it out on others.

Lori missing the point is the rule, not the exception. I don't think that she had teached her children healthy ways to deal with negative emotions. Bad moods have a reason and nobody can be all sunshine and joy all the time. Children won't be happy and nice all the time because it's more convinient for her. They need to learn to express their feelings and emotions, positive and negative, in a healthy way. If they where teached to swallow all their negative emotions and put on a happy face all the time you get stepford smilers, who learn that their emotions don't value, only their appearance.

[Frog99]

Ugh. One of those commenters over there keeps commenting about a post that went around a couple of days ago about a little girl that was having a bad day- the post was from the mom and was about how she drew the little one a bath, gave her a face mask, and some some juice while she soaked in the tub. Per Lori and her followers, the little girl should have been called on her sin and made to repent because she was acting bratty to her family. 

I try to parent in the same way as the mom who drew the bubble bath. Our home is supposed to be a soft landing place for our kids. It’s my job as a mom to help them name their emotions, understand where they are coming from, and how to manage them. Sometimes those feelings are big and a bit of time is needed before the processing can happen. It doesn’t mean I’m a pushover. It means I try hard to respond in love and grace (sometimes I fail at this) and pretty much every time, my kids will come to me and apologize on their own accord. It’s bevause I have created that space for them, shown unconditional love, and also been an example. 

I will continue to teach my children that feelings aren’t bad- what’s important is how we manage them. 

[TeddyBonkers]

@Frog99, earlier this week, I asked Younger Bonkers if she had made her bed. She said yes. I said, "Well, let's go look and see if it looks okay". (She has eleventy billion blankets on her bed and has trouble making it sometimes.)

Shocker, her bed was not made.

I told her that she needed to make her bed and that lying was not okay. She was upset, but started making her bed.

About 30 minutes later, she came downstairs and apologized for lying and for getting mad. I told her that getting mad wasn't a bad thing, but what matters is what we do with the mad. ❤️

[Lgirlrocks]

Spankings have nothing to do with this post. Spankings are far from gone. Lots of people I know spank or were spanked themselves. Kids should never be spanked for showing emotions. 

[Leftitinmysnood]

I once wore a 1950s style dress out to a shopping center in an eruv zone and I got so many wolf whistles from the orthodox Jewish guys that were 10 years younger than me. It was funny.

[Imrlgoddess]

I'm a product of Lori's mindset with children and emotions.  My mom would shame us and lecture us if we showed sadness, anger, disappointment, fear...anything negative, even for a valid reason.  Neutral was fine, happy was fine, but she'd tell us not to let the negative show, it's a sign of weakness.  It had to be rock hard, stone face, smile in the face of it, no matter what was going on.  By 10 I was able to completely shut down and internalize.  I'm 41 and it is physically impossible for me to cry at a funeral.  I have to actually think about it and do work to drop the veil enough for some tears to form, much less fall.  There is nothing remotely healthy about their way of "dealing" with life.  20+ years of burying every negative emotion won me some fabulous mood swings.  Boot camp reprogramming, war, and the divorce woke up the weird bits and now all that's left is an anxiety ridden person who has a lot of trouble controlling her anger.  It makes for some interesting days, I'll tell ya that.  (my poor husband, bless his soul)

The irony?  And this is something I keep seeing among the most extreme fundy families....mom is the one who was allowed to go ballistic as often as she wants.  Ours had weekly episodes that even my dad would go hide for.  The double standards will never cease to amaze me where these people and this way of life are concerned.  

On a lighter note:  I love 50's retro style, but I'm tattooed so I go for a Rock-a-Billy/Psycho-Billy look.  I was told once at a job by a stuffy old southern lady that at least my tattoos were tasteful.  

 

[AuntKrazy]

@Imrlgoddess

I understand completely. I was taught that crying was selfish. When I was a teenager and struggling with bulimia, I had written in my journal about thinking about suicide. My mother found my journal, and I was punished. I was grounded longer for both asking to go to counseling and crying. 

Fast forward through a lot of great therapy and a lot of life lived with love and loss, and I now (strangely to most) love to go to movies that are tearjeckers because I love that I have a space where I feel free to cry.. 

[Liza]

9 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

understand completely. I was taught that crying was selfish. When I was a teenager and struggling with bulimia, I had written in my journal about thinking about suicide. My mother found my journal, and I was punished. I was grounded longer for both asking to go to counseling and crying. 

Sorry to see this, but glad that you DID go and did get better.  My question is why?  What religion says this?  Thanks.

[livinglongerthanyou]

15 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

I am not editing out KB Davies name, because he is a complete and utter fool and his teachings are dangerous.

Feelings and moods are absolutely not desires of the flesh. They are a normal part of living. Even in Biblical times! There is an entire book of the Bible (at least there is in mine?) called "Lamentations". Jesus Himself wept at the death of His friend Lazarus, and He KNEW that his death wasn't permanent! Angels rejoice when a sinner repents!

Bullshit that feelings and moods are desires of the flesh.

Well K.B. also believes that marital rape doesn't exist. Does anyone have to wonder why this jackass is divorced?

9 hours ago, Frog99 said:

Ugh. One of those commenters over there keeps commenting about a post that went around a couple of days ago about a little girl that was having a bad day- the post was from the mom and was about how she drew the little one a bath, gave her a face mask, and some some juice while she soaked in the tub. Per Lori and her followers, the little girl should have been called on her sin and made to repent because she was acting bratty to her family. 

I try to parent in the same way as the mom who drew the bubble bath. Our home is supposed to be a soft landing place for our kids. It’s my job as a mom to help them name their emotions, understand where they are coming from, and how to manage them. Sometimes those feelings are big and a bit of time is needed before the processing can happen. It doesn’t mean I’m a pushover. It means I try hard to respond in love and grace (sometimes I fail at this) and pretty much every time, my kids will come to me and apologize on their own accord. It’s bevause I have created that space for them, shown unconditional love, and also been an example. 

I will continue to teach my children that feelings aren’t bad- what’s important is how we manage them. 

Well you love your children, so there's that.

Lori is a monster and I am not convinced that she doesn't enjoy inflicting pain and misery on others, no matter how little they are. There is something very unnatural about how she deals with others. 

[Sarah92]

Emotions are good things, lovely things. And they're part of being human. They suck sometimes but that doesn't mean we should shove them down. (As I regularly shove my feelings down due to playing the family hero for years *glares at brother*) I get a lot of parents who just want their kids to be perfect little happy robots without any effort. Some kids get so surprised when I tell them it's okay to be angry, it's just what we do when angry that makes a difference.  

On the topic of modesty, I vote that Lori gives us a closet tour to show use all the 50s dresses she's bought to be classy and modest. It's a popular trend still among those immodest young people so I'm sure she can find some.