Bates 26: Do Not Attempt This at Home

[RosyDaisy]

Okay, seriously, who ARE these people who apparently have unlimited amounts of money to just give to random grifters like Gil and Kelly Bates? I can understand giving your old swing set to a family with lots of kids, or helping one of the parents find a job. But who just gives a random family a new van, or a $50,000 truck, or sends them $500 checks?

P.T. Barnum called them suckers.

[nastyhobbitses]

27 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

 

 

P.T. Barnum called them suckers.

 

Off topic but I would have found The Greatest Showman a much more interesting musical (and not just Moulin Rouge for Mormons) if they portrayed Barnum as the scumbag that he actually was. 

[formergothardite]

6 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

Maybe we should start calling him GilRod.

Can you imagine if Jill and Gil got together to grift?! 

I can see why Gil and Kelly don't like hanging out with the Rods, they are competition. Gil keeps saying all through the talk that people need to make giving a priority. He says this in a way that implies that he gives to others, but it is clear that what he really means is that he wants people to give to him. The only thing he seems to have given away is the old station wagon and that was really Kelly's doing. He obviously expected someone to purchase him a van when he gave that away and was disappointed when no one did. 

He also mentions a bunch of times that he is stingy and doesn't like spending money. Which confirms to me that without UP there would be no big fancy weddings for his daughters. 

Gil is an awful speaker. He starts out saying that he has four points he is going to give first and then he will expand on each one. Well he gives the first, starts rambling and never gives the rest. Later he says he forgot to give the rest, but he again gives the next one but just starts talking and doesn't give the others. Then at the end he says that he is out of time but he needs to mention TLC and the Duggars building a house for them. 

[Sidehugs]

Thank you for the recap. I still get a little shock when I see parents use their kids as pawns. They know exactly what they’re doing and using God, children, etc to their advantage.

I’m also reminded of the Duggar book I read a little bit ago written by Michelle where they explain how they wanted to buy property and they couldn’t afford it then the people called and gave it to them at a reduced price. *I could be misstating the exact information but you get my point. 

Edited March 12, 2019 by Sidehugs
Typos

[VineHeart137]

On 3/8/2019 at 6:42 AM, formergothardite said:

If Michaela moves back Kelly will have to do even less parenting than she does now! You know she would just dump her kids on her daughter and go off to do her own thing. 

I was thinking this too! Kelly's probably panicking now that Carlin is what, 2 months away from moving out? Josie and Carlin did a live once and Josie basically said that once Carlin moves out the house will probably be in a shambles. She even said (jokingly, but maybe not so much) that that was part of the reason why CarVan had to have a long engagement, because Kelly wouldn't know what to do without Carlin around. So yeah, if Kelly can get Michael to come back then you know Michael will be over at that house every day running things while Kelly does God knows what.

[Melissa1977]

8 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

I was thinking this too! Kelly's probably panicking now that Carlin is what, 2 months away from moving out? Josie and Carlin did a live once and Josie basically said that once Carlin moves out the house will probably be in a shambles. She even said (jokingly, but maybe not so much) that that was part of the reason why CarVan had to have a long engagement, because Kelly wouldn't know what to do without Carlin around. So yeah, if Kelly can get Michael to come back then you know Michael will be over at that house every day running things while Kelly does God knows what.

So true!

I love how Josie talks about how awful her family is. She jokes but sounds so sincere. She said she rented a 1 bedroom appartment to avoid having her family in, that the Bates house was dirty, and now says that her mother is unable to take care of the house (despite the children are not little). What a godly housekeeper Kelly is!

[ophelia]

Maybe I should really start watching their live videos.

[VineHeart137]

3 hours ago, ophelia said:

Maybe I should really start watching their live videos.

Most of the time they're boring and depending on who's in the live they tend to talk over and interrupt each other a lot and it gets annoying, but once in a while they'll say something interesting or announce something the viewers didn't know. You're really not missing much though.

[llucie]

2 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

Most of the time they're boring and depending on who's in the live they tend to talk over and interrupt each other a lot and it gets annoying, but once in a while they'll say something interesting or announce something the viewers didn't know. You're really not missing much though.

When Gil is the one doing the most of the talking tends to be very boring, since he doesnt respond to anything interesting. And is the only one that sometimes start talking about Jesus in the livestream. I much prefer when is Lawson or Zach hosting. Only news was that the church will open this week or next week. There was also Addalle and Isaiah and it was nice to see them since they dont usually have much spotlight, they have grown a lot, but both are extremely shy and didnt say a word.

[AussieKrissy]

18 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Off topic but I would have found The Greatest Showman a much more interesting musical (and not just Moulin Rouge for Mormons) if they portrayed Barnum as the scumbag that he actually was. 

I get all that, but holy batshit I love that movie anyway.

[lumpentheologie]

I can't stand to watch any of them talk, but if something happens on a live I figure the keepingupwithfundies tumblr will tell us about it. 

[clueliss]

I wait until the 'live' videos show up on UP's youtube channel to watch them.  Usually, a week or so after they were on Facebook.  I'll agree that Gil/Kelley hosting ones are boring.  Lawson and Zach do a better job (which I am reluctant to say because I feel we're feeding that ego of Lawson's)

[nickelodeon]

Thanks for the summary, formergothardite, and also holy moly the Bateses’ relationship with work and money is so fucked up. Would you even call this prosperity gospel, or is it just entitlement on acid?

[formergothardite]

41 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Would you even call this prosperity gospel, or is it just entitlement on acid?

Gil and Kelly preach prosperity gospel because the message is that if you are living the right life God will make sure you get stuff. Even if you can afford to buy the things it is best to just scam folks into giving it to you. They are very, very entitled and seem good at manipulating those around them. 

[lumpentheologie]

And the best part about preaching prosperity gospel is that God is always telling everyone to give their money right to the preacher, hungry kids be damned. 

[formergothardite]

Gil's message titled The High Price of a Sensual Woman. I had to listen to these things for only short amounts of time, so I didn't get through many of their talks in my one month free. I took notes and I'm trying to organize them. The more I think about it the more disturbed I am about Gil bragging how compliant Josie is and how she had all the attributes of the perfectly obedient wife. This was around the same time Kelton was latching onto her and getting upset that he couldn't date her. 

Spoiler

 

~Setting up rules for your children isn't restricting them it is just God protecting them. 

~Strict rules will ensure your success. 

~It is godly if parents have rules that other families don't have. 

~If your parents have rules other parents don't have it is because they want you to grow up and save the world for Jesus. 

~Gil reads some Bible verses from Numbers and it is painful. He is truly awful and this. How exactly has he attracted a congregation?

~Gil says we shouldn't be controlled by our appetite for things. 

~Alcohol is bad because it keeps you from making clear decisions. 

~Gil brags about his lack of TV, yet some of his kids are growing up knowing nothing but being followed by television cameras. 

~Pac Man is bad because you get addicted to eating the little dots and waste time you could spend witnessing. 

~Gil seems to be lecturing IBLP teens. He keeps wanting them to give him an amen, they don't seem to do so. 

~It is inappropriate for boys to have long hair. This is causing Gil some issues since the verses he just read had God commanding  Samson to never cut his hair, but Gil says that was a special case and it really just meant that God didn't want him to spend time focusing on how he looks. This is funny since Gil raised some super vain children. 

~Gil gets sort of creepy when he starts talking about the teen girls in the audience who are wearing dresses and how it makes him so happy. 

~The strict biblical parents were just like ATI parents. 

~Samson was raised godly but got attracted to the wrong sort of woman. 

~God would never want Samson to be with a woman who wasn't a believer. 

~God only wants you to marry someone who has the same background and beliefs as you do. 

~Samson should have listen to his parents and not tried to marry someone who didn't share his background and beliefs. 

~Gil is just giving himself amens now. 

~Don't get off the path your parents have created for you. 

~If you get off the path of your parents you can die. 

~Don't play the lottery. That is just sort of stuck in there. 

~There is a hidden price tag for pursuing a worldly, sensual girl. 

~Girls who don't love God can't love you can have no compassion for others. 

~Samson kept falling for sensual women and it put him in slavery. 

~God doesn't always  tell you the path you are supposed to follow, he tells your parents so you need to listen to them. 

~Following a sensual woman will mean you will die with the wicked. 

~Guys notice girls because that is God's plan.

~Five kinds of girls you don't want to marry:

 *Difficult girls - see how a girl responds when her parents correct her. Difficult girls also are opinionated which is bad. 

 *Deceptive girls - if a girl doesn't obey her parents she is deceptive and will end up not obeying you. A little girls who disobeys is starting the pattern where she won't be an obedient wife. If she thinks her parents rules are too strict she will fight the rules of her husband. Gil reminds you that Gothard says to pick a wife who  is an almost perfect diamond so you can help mold her to the perfection instead of getting a lump of coal because a lump of coal will make you suffer as you try to turn her into a diamond. 

 *Disloyal girls - if a girl says anything bad about her family, church, pastor or religious teachers she is disloyal. Gil told a man in his church to stop talking to a woman in the church who Gil viewed as disloyal.The man didn't listen to Gil, married the woman and she cheated on him. If she criticizes her family she won't be loyal to you. 

 *Discontent girl - girls need to be happy with who they are in the Lord. Gil says many of his daughters suffer from being insecure. But some of his kids are content. Josie was not treated well by her sisters and they always excluded her but when Gil and Kelly would fuss at them Josie would say it was okay God would work it out. Josie is 14 at this time and Gil says her qualities aren't common among girls. Girls like Josie are going to be very content no matter the life that they marry into. Josie has the qualities of a good, obedient wife. 

~Random FB is bad message. Less random as the story goes on. He says he knows a couple who where raised homeschooled(sounds like ATI) they had around six kids when the wife found FB, found some friends that she grew up with and she became discontent with her life and left her husband. The new FB friends helped her leave her husband. I bet this was a former ATI student who found one of the ex-ATI FB pages and got help in leaving a bad relationship. 

 *Dirty girl - a immoral girl will ruin your life. 

~The price of a sensual girl is suffering and maybe death. 

 

 

 

 

[Bobology]

24 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

~Gil is just giving himself amens now. 

This is the only thing funny about your summary. The rest is a true WTF rotten fecal show.

Thanks for taking notes and giving us these bits.

[AussieKrissy]

33 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Gil's message titled The High Price of a Sensual Woman. I had to listen to these things for only short amounts of time, so I didn't get through many of their talks in my one month free. I took notes and I'm trying to organize them. The more I think about it the more disturbed I am about Gil bragging how compliant Josie is and how she had all the attributes of the perfectly obedient wife. This was around the same time Kelton was latching onto her and getting upset that he couldn't date her. 

  Hide contents

 

~Setting up rules for your children isn't restricting them it is just God protecting them. 

~Strict rules will ensure your success. 

~It is godly if parents have rules that other families don't have. 

~If your parents have rules other parents don't have it is because they want you to grow up and save the world for Jesus. 

~Gil reads some Bible verses from Numbers and it is painful. He is truly awful and this. How exactly has he attracted a congregation?

~Gil says we shouldn't be controlled by our appetite for things. 

~Alcohol is bad because it keeps you from making clear decisions. 

~Gil brags about his lack of TV, yet some of his kids are growing up knowing nothing but being followed by television cameras. 

~Pac Man is bad because you get addicted to eating the little dots and waste time you could spend witnessing. 

~Gil seems to be lecturing IBLP teens. He keeps wanting them to give him an amen, they don't seem to do so. 

~It is inappropriate for boys to have long hair. This is causing Gil some issues since the verses he just read had God commanding  Samson to never cut his hair, but Gil says that was a special case and it really just meant that God didn't want him to spend time focusing on how he looks. This is funny since Gil raised some super vain children. 

~Gil gets sort of creepy when he starts talking about the teen girls in the audience who are wearing dresses and how it makes him so happy. 

~The strict biblical parents were just like ATI parents. 

~Samson was raised godly but got attracted to the wrong sort of woman. 

~God would never want Samson to be with a woman who wasn't a believer. 

~God only wants you to marry someone who has the same background and beliefs as you do. 

~Samson should have listen to his parents and not tried to marry someone who didn't share his background and beliefs. 

~Gil is just giving himself amens now. 

~Don't get off the path your parents have created for you. 

~If you get off the path of your parents you can die. 

~Don't play the lottery. That is just sort of stuck in there. 

~There is a hidden price tag for pursuing a worldly, sensual girl. 

~Girls who don't love God can't love you can have no compassion for others. 

~Samson kept falling for sensual women and it put him in slavery. 

~God doesn't always  tell you the path you are supposed to follow, he tells your parents so you need to listen to them. 

~Following a sensual woman will mean you will die with the wicked. 

~Guys notice girls because that is God's plan.

~Five kinds of girls you don't want to marry:

 *Difficult girls - see how a girl responds when her parents correct her. Difficult girls also are opinionated which is bad. 

 *Deceptive girls - if a girl doesn't obey her parents she is deceptive and will end up not obeying you. A little girls who disobeys is starting the pattern where she won't be an obedient wife. If she thinks her parents rules are too strict she will fight the rules of her husband. Gil reminds you that Gothard says to pick a wife who  is an almost perfect diamond so you can help mold her to the perfection instead of getting a lump of coal because a lump of coal will make you suffer as you try to turn her into a diamond. 

 *Disloyal girls - if a girl says anything bad about her family, church, pastor or religious teachers she is disloyal. Gil told a man in his church to stop talking to a woman in the church who Gil viewed as disloyal.The man didn't listen to Gil, married the woman and she cheated on him. If she criticizes her family she won't be loyal to you. 

 *Discontent girl - girls need to be happy with who they are in the Lord. Gil says many of his daughters suffer from being insecure. But some of his kids are content. Josie was not treated well by her sisters and they always excluded her but when Gil and Kelly would fuss at them Josie would say it was okay God would work it out. Josie is 14 at this time and Gil says her qualities aren't common among girls. Girls like Josie are going to be very content no matter the life that they marry into. Josie has the qualities of a good, obedient wife. 

~Random FB is bad message. Less random as the story goes on. He says he knows a couple who where raised homeschooled(sounds like ATI) they had around six kids when the wife found FB, found some friends that she grew up with and she became discontent with her life and left her husband. The new FB friends helped her leave her husband. I bet this was a former ATI student who found one of the ex-ATI FB pages and got help in leaving a bad relationship. 

 *Dirty girl - a immoral girl will ruin your life. 

~The price of a sensual girl is suffering and maybe death. 

 

 

 

 

god, you really took one for them team didn't you?

that was hard to read, would have been worse to listen too.

thanks 

[TeaELSee]

What in the world was that “casserole “ Tori cooked for the family?  At first I thought it was lasagna, but it looked like it had a thick coat of tomato soup on it.  

Blech

[formergothardite]

11 hours ago, Bobology said:

This is the only thing funny about your summary.

It was kind of funny because he started off saying "can I get an Amen?" and then he just started saying amen himself when no one else did.  It seems not even IBLP teens are impressed by Gil. 

It is very interesting to see how different Gil and Kelly are when they aren't putting on a show for television. I also think it is sad that he talked about how insecure his daughters were in their looks and talents. It didn't seem like Gil and Kelly did much to make them feel more confident only acted like being insecure was a sin. 

[HereticHick]

"The High Price of a Sensual Woman" sounds like some sort of 1980s Jackie Collins-style beach read. And guilty pleasure tv movie

[formergothardite]

16 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

. And guilty pleasure tv movie

One of those Lifetime movies for sure! 

[TeaELSee]

I took a screenshot of Tori’s  casserole. The topping is cheese, the inside had a very off putting pink sauce.  Disclaimer: I hate cheese and casseroles in general so maybe I am overly grossed out. The salad looks decent.

Edited March 15, 2019 by TeaELSee

[CarrotCake]

That cheese looks way too orange.

[LegHumperBibleThumper]

Looks like Buffalo Chicken dip with cheddar on top