Bates 26: Do Not Attempt This at Home

[RosyDaisy]

Way to go, Kelly. Make a couple's loss about you. You are truly a narcissistic bitch!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Carlin posted a video in her Instagram stories of a lot of the Bates adults helping with the dress boutique. They were sorting, packaging, labeling, stuff like that. 

How long before they get tired of that kind of work and hire someone else to do it? 

[llucie]

30 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Carlin posted a video in her Instagram stories of a lot of the Bates adults helping with the dress boutique. They were sorting, packaging, labeling, stuff like that. 

How long before they get tired of that kind of work and hire someone else to do it? 

LOL when she put the camera on Michaela and Brandon and was like "look who else is here helping out, they are becoming pros at it". I was like, well that is not surprising at all Carlin, the surprising part would be that you are paying the family that is helping actual money for their time.

[OyToTheVey]

I just saw the whole post as an anti choice campaign. Like ‘look how much better we are than the worlds heathens and these babies lived for 6 days’. They’re so ‘godly’ that it’s better for these kids to suffer than any alternative option. 

[lumpentheologie]

37 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

I just saw the whole post as an anti choice campaign. Like ‘look how much better we are than the worlds heathens and these babies lived for 6 days’. They’re so ‘godly’ that it’s better for these kids to suffer than any alternative option. 

Right?  A slow, painful death is in no way a blessing.  It's sick to me that they hold up making babies suffer as evidence of their self-righteousness.  But then again these are the people who hit babies and see that as godly, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

I really wish we had more options to spare our loved ones this kind of suffering.  I watched my grandmother starve to death over weeks after a massively debilitating stroke we all knew she would never recover from.  She couldn't talk or move but she made such horrible noises from the pain. I really wish we could have ended her suffering sooner.  Later-term abortions are one of the few times it's actually legal (in some states) for parents to be able to do that for their children, and people like the Bates are working very hard to take that away, because they think we're all worthless sinners and our suffering is God's plan or some shit like that. 

[Bobology]

12 hours ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

Their parents may have wanted Kelly to post them in their prettiest outfit first, even if that meant the one when they had already passed.

 Posting the photos and statements Kelly made is so inappropriate that I tend to agree with illmarryyoujana. The parents may have only FB, if that, and they wanted their message, not Kelly's, to reach more people. And if this is the case, it would have been worse for Kelly to add "our friends asked that we post this about their precious babies.." Like the rest of you, I don't like defending Kelly, but I also realize people sometimes say and do things for a purpose unknown to others. This is a time when it is just so terrible that I want to believe the parents asked Kelly do take the pics, post the pics, and even relay some of their own thoughts. Because if they didn't, then Kelly just lowered her own bar -- again.

[lumpentheologie]

I honestly don't know why we should be giving her the benefit of the doubt here.  We already know she's a pretty terrible person. 

[nelliebelle1197]

4 hours ago, Bobology said:

 Posting the photos and statements Kelly made is so inappropriate that I tend to agree with illmarryyoujana. The parents may have only FB, if that, and they wanted their message, not Kelly's, to reach more people. And if this is the case, it would have been worse for Kelly to add "our friends asked that we post this about their precious babies.." Like the rest of you, I don't like defending Kelly, but I also realize people sometimes say and do things for a purpose unknown to others. This is a time when it is just so terrible that I want to believe the parents asked Kelly do take the pics, post the pics, and even relay some of their own thoughts. Because if they didn't, then Kelly just lowered her own bar -- again.

How on earth is that worse? Then she is sharing the actual message and not making it about her. I do not get this at all.

[Bobology]

^^ At the moment I was writing that while blown away by the heinous post , I couldn't think of a kind and empathic way Kelly could have mentioned that it was the parents who wanted the message shared without the whole post being worse than it was. After consideration, I can think of some better ways Kelly could have handled the post **if it was, indeed, at the parents' request** (and it likely wasn't.) Like... " the family would like us to share what a blessing the babies were to them, etc."

I guess I came up with this concoction because I can't imagine any human doing this they way it looks like Kelly did it and I was trying to understand it. I just don't want to believe that any person, including Kelly, could turn this tragedy into a blessing for herself. While possible it was the parents who drove that post, it is likely that Kelly was being her regular blessed, entitled self. I truly wish I had never seen/read that disturbing post.

[nickelodeon]

I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve never felt particularly “encouraged” or “blessed” by looking at newborn corpses.

[AliceInFundyland]

33 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve never felt particularly “encouraged” or “blessed” by looking at newborn corpses.

Or thinking about them. I am so glad that I do not look at their social media on my own.

[lizzybee]

What makes it potentially more gross is that as a family from their church, I imagine church members are vying for the attention of the famous pastor and his wife. What an honor they came to the hospital and wanted to post about it, presuming to get people online to pray for the grieving family. It’s possible the parents may be feeling pleased to have their attention and prayers whereas I feel like Kelly has straight up taken advantage of that power dynamic here. They may have given their permission/consent in a way where they can’t realistically have given consent like in a professor/student relationship, for example.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

I'm also wondering what the chances are that she would have taken all these photos if the twins weren't conjoined. There is of course a history of people with these conditions being put on display. Even if Kelly isn't fully conscious of it I think there's an element of voyeurism that probably made the difference between just asking people to pray, and posting a bunch of close ups of the corpses.

[crancraz]

I think it’s in somewhat bad taste to post photos of someone else’s dead loved one, especially assigning meaning to a life and death that isn’t yours to hold. But speaking as a person with a dead baby, there is nothing shameful about posting a photo of your beloved child if that helps grieving. 

Babies die. It’s an uncomfortable reality but it happens and more frequently than one might realize. Often time, post death is the only way to get a photo of a sick child without tubes and wires attached. And dead babies are still our children. They don’t stop being our children because they are dead. After children die (or probably anyone), there is often a cap put on people’s grief as if everyone needs to follow a timeline. But the reality is that they are always with us and sometimes sharing their photos reminds parents they were, in fact, once here. 

Edited June 6, 2019 by crancraz

[lumpentheologie]

4 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

I'm also wondering what the chances are that she would have taken all these photos if the twins weren't conjoined. There is of course a history of people with these conditions being put on display. Even if Kelly isn't fully conscious of it I think there's an element of voyeurism that probably made the difference between just asking people to pray, and posting a bunch of close ups of the corpses.

This is a great point.  The Bates have posted things before about families they know who have lost loved ones, I remember at least once due to a car accident.  There were prayer requests and a go fund me, but no pictures of the bodies. 

[Ali]

13 hours ago, Bobology said:

I guess I came up with this concoction because I can't imagine any human doing this they way it looks like Kelly did it and I was trying to understand it. I just don't want to believe that any person, including Kelly, could turn this tragedy into a blessing for herself. While possible it was the parents who drove that post, it is likely that Kelly was being her regular blessed, entitled self. I truly wish I had never seen/read that disturbing post.

I suggest looking beyond the Bates and the Duggars. Normally they are better at hiding their ugliness. The Bates are basically lipstick on a pig. 

Jill Rodrigues did something similar to this. There is shocking behavior all over this board. 

[freethemall]

17 hours ago, Bobology said:

^^ At the moment I was writing that while blown away by the heinous post , I couldn't think of a kind and empathic way Kelly could have mentioned that it was the parents who wanted the message shared without the whole post being worse than it was. After consideration, I can think of some better ways Kelly could have handled the post **if it was, indeed, at the parents' request** (and it likely wasn't.) Like... " the family would like us to share what a blessing the babies were to them, etc."

I guess I came up with this concoction because I can't imagine any human doing this they way it looks like Kelly did it and I was trying to understand it. I just don't want to believe that any person, including Kelly, could turn this tragedy into a blessing for herself. While possible it was the parents who drove that post, it is likely that Kelly was being her regular blessed, entitled self. I truly wish I had never seen/read that disturbing post.

You clearly haven't experienced Jill Rodrigues, who takes smiling selfies at the funerals of children she's never met.

But then I'd also put the Duggars in this camp with the whole Jubilee media circus, with photos of them crying at her funeral and pictures of her tiny hands.

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, freethemall said:

You clearly haven't experienced Jill Rodrigues, who takes smiling selfies at the funerals of children she's never met.

But then I'd also put the Duggars in this camp with the whole Jubilee media circus, with photos of them crying at her funeral and pictures of her tiny hands.

The difference is that the Duggars were the grieving parents when Jubilee passed. They might have done things I wouldn’t have and I think it’s disgusting that they’ve tried using her (and Josie) to push their anti-choice beliefs, but I also think that as the parents they had the right to mourn their loss in the way they saw fit. They’re hateful people, but I don’t doubt they were genuinely mourning for Jubilee. 

Jill and Kelly were not the parents of the children in each situation discussed. They weren’t even related to the families impacted. Sure, maybe Kelly was genuinely saddened that a family from their Church suffered such a significant loss, but I also don’t think it was ok for her to take this tragedy that didn’t directly impact her to turn into a subtle anti-choice message or to get attention online - because regardless of her intent it immediately struck me as attention seeking and anti-choice propaganda. That’s a huge difference in my opinion and it’s why I’m more likely to give some leeway to the Duggars regarding Jubilee that I’m not going to give to Kelly Bates or Jill Rodrigues. 

[nelliebelle1197]

For the life of me I cannot figure out how these infants who could not sustain life outside the womb become anti-choice symbols. There is nothing to celebrate in a terrible, painful short life.

 I had an emergency c-section at 26 weeks resulting in a 1.8 pound baby. She was in NICU for 3.5 months. At six weeks she had to have surgery for a suspected dead intestine. The surgeon look at us squarely and said that if it was as bad as suspected, the child would live her life with a feeding tube in her stomach and be in tremendous pain with no quality of life. Our choice was to choose that or choose to let her go. I looked at him squarely and told him we chose the latter. He was relieved as hell and told me about the horrible things people allow children to endure in order to allow them to “live”.  He hurts his soul to “save” kids that have no chance to live without pain and extreme measures.

The baby was fine - she had meconium plugging her digestive tract. She now a very active, smart, nutty 8 year old who is quite advanced for her age. But I would have said goodbye to her in a heartbeat if she was meant to suffer and only live with medical interventions so extreme she spent her life in unending pain.

Edited June 6, 2019 by nelliebelle1197

[SassyPants]

18 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

For the life of me I cannot figure out how these infants who could not sustain life outside the womb become anti-choice symbols. There is nothing to celebrate in a terrible, painful short life.

 I had an emergency c-section at 26 weeks resulting in a 1.8 pound baby. She was in NICU for 3.5 months. At six weeks she had to have surgery for a suspected dead intestine. The surgeon look at us squarely and said that if it was as bad as suspected, the child would live her life with a feeding tube in her stomach and be in tremendous pain with no quality of life. Our choice was to choose that or choose to let her go. I looked at him squarely and told him we chose the latter. He was relieved as hell and told me about the horrible things people allow children to endure in order to allow them to “live”.  He hurts his soul to “save” kids that have no chance to live without pain and extreme measures.

The baby was fine - she had meconium plugging her digestive tract. She now a very active, smart, nutty 8 year old who is quite advanced for her age. But I would have said goodbye to her in a heartbeat if she was meant to suffer and only live with medical interventions so extreme she spent her life in unending pain.

As a former nicu nurse, I can tell you that mannnnnnnnnnnnnny parents put their wishes before their babies’ needs.

[VelociRapture]

@nelliebelle1197I have trouble bringing myself to imagine what being the parent in that type of situation must be like. It’s not that I can’t imagine it, it’s that the idea is so horrible to consider that my brain just doesn’t want to go there. I hope I’m never faced with the choice you were, but if I am then I also hope I have the courage and selflessness to make the same compassionate decision you did. I’m so glad your daughter is ok now. 

[hollyfeller]

I feel like I might need to ask for forgiveness, but I just ordered a dress from the Bates Sisters Boutique!

https://batessistersboutique.com/product/the-maddie-green/

It my defense, the color is just so pretty!  I'll show myself out... 

[catlady]

18 minutes ago, hollyfeller said:

I feel like I might need to ask for forgiveness, but I just ordered a dress from the Bates Sisters Boutique!

https://batessistersboutique.com/product/the-maddie-green/

It my defense, the color is just so pretty!  I'll show myself out... 

Forgiveness is yours if you promise to wear it to bars, pride events, the next DNC, Catholic Mass, secular college.........  

Edited June 20, 2019 by catlady
added something

[HerNameIsBuffy]

24 minutes ago, hollyfeller said:

I feel like I might need to ask for forgiveness, but I just ordered a dress from the Bates Sisters Boutique!

https://batessistersboutique.com/product/the-maddie-green/

It my defense, the color is just so pretty!  I'll show myself out... 

I really hope you’d heard about the boutique elsewhere as I’d hate for FJ to help financially support them.

[lumpentheologie]

54 minutes ago, hollyfeller said:

I feel like I might need to ask for forgiveness, but I just ordered a dress from the Bates Sisters Boutique!

https://batessistersboutique.com/product/the-maddie-green/

It my defense, the color is just so pretty!  I'll show myself out... 

Why would you give them your money?  There are lots of cheap and cute dresses out there that don't support fundamentalists and their agenda.