Gwen Shamblin 6: Billy Madison Is Smarter than Gwen Shamblin

[formergothardite]

Today's words from Gwod are the four categories of God stopping you from eating. She has a disabled category where you aren't able to get food so you are "disabled".  Also, if a waitress forgets to bring your food it isn't like you aren't going to get food, it probably won't even take that long. Gwen acts like if a waitress forgets your food then you are just not eating. What world does she live in?

How is RF with disabilities? I don't see Gwen accepting any child who isn't capable of dancing around while wearing floofy clothing and praising her. 

Quote

The ways of escape God sends us seem to fall into four categories.

First, there are escapes that allow you to be distracted from the food, like children needing you, phone calls that interrupt you, or guests that drop in unexpectedly.

A second category is having something wrong with the food as your way of escape—the “disgusting” category—it falls to the ground, the cat licks it, you discover it is moldy, etc.

The third category is the food is just not available—the “dislocated” category—the waitress brings out the wrong food or forgets your order.

The fourth category of escape is the fact that we sometimes cannot get to the food—the “disabled” category. I can remember spending an inordinate amount of time trying to open a jar of fudge ice cream topping once. It had never been that hard to open a jar before!

Suddenly it occurred to me that this was my way of escape and that I could wait a little longer to eat. Another example… the bag of chips is empty when you reach for it—when you know you are not hungry—or you open the bag and all the chips fall to the floor.

 

[Peas n carrots]

Sure it’s been said before, but Gwen has somehow found a way to combine religion with anorexia. Oh, and Texas sized hair.

[SilverBeach]

Gwod is batshit crazy (Gwen Shamblin Lara).

[AmazonGrace]

Oh man she is  OBSESSED with eating. She writes like being just about to stuff her face is the default condition.

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First, there are escapes that allow you to be distracted from the food, like children needing you, phone calls that interrupt you, or guests that drop in unexpectedly. 

Any normal friends and parents would be interested in the other person. Hey how are you so nice to hear from you. Oh my child is in distress, how can I help.

But Gwen knows better: it's all about her and the other person was sent there just to guard her appetite. God gave the child that bleeding wound just to help Gwen lose weight.

Quote

The third category is the food is just not available—the “dislocated” category—the waitress brings out the wrong food or forgets your order.

Is this a thing? I mean, obviously waiters make mistakes but wouldn't you just remind them about your order and get it five minutes later? If you've gone to a restaurant  intending to eat  would you just sit there not eating and not react?  Of course you wouldn't but then again you're a normal person.

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I can remember spending an inordinate amount of time trying to open a jar of fudge ice cream topping once. It had never been that hard to open a jar before!

That's what the husband is for.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I bet Gwen prays before every meal out that the waitress forgets her food. Then she can claim it was a sign from god not to eat. 

[ViolaSebastian]

33 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I bet Gwen prays before every meal out that the waitress forgets her food. Then she can claim it was a sign from god not to eat. 

This is such a mystery to me. Surely servers notice when everyone else at a table is eating and one person doesn't have a meal in front of them. Like most sane individuals, they probably go into the kitchen to figure out what happened, because the vast majority of people go to a restaurant to eat and actually, you know, want their meals. 

[SJWaterford]

So starving people of the world fit in........(drumroll please) category 4? Oh wait, they might also fit in category 3 too? Oh my Gwod, she's such a moron. 

A long time ago (when we were brand new at our jobs of cult fighting) I found a video parody online. It was two women in a restaurant and it was making fun of her diet plan. One womans food fell on the floor and then in another instant there was a tiny dog on the table eating off the womans plate. Can't find the video anymore but it essentially was making fun of signs you might receive that you shouldn't eat. (However, you should still pay the bill and tip the waiter RF folks). 

[ViolaSebastian]

32 minutes ago, SJWaterford said:

(However, you should still pay the bill and tip the waiter RF folks). 

I question this dynamic. Since the servers and restaurant was owned/operated by the church, and staying thin was such an imperative, would it have been possible for Gwen to tell servers to "forget" a church members meal if she felt the member was putting on weight?

[fransalley]

Does anyone know how Gwen and Joe met?

[ViolaSebastian]

17 minutes ago, fransalley said:

Does anyone know how Gwen and Joe met?

Regrettable Hair Anonymous. 

Edited March 3, 2019 by ViolaSebastian

[CTRLZero]

1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

and staying thin was such an imperative, would it have been possible for Gwen to tell servers to "forget" a church members meal if she felt the member was putting on weight?

Ha ha!  I was thinking of the same sort of thing.  A while back, a photo was posted of Gwod and her disciples at a fancy restaurant.  I never did see any food on those plates.  I bet Joe slipped the servers a few bucks to "forget" so that everyone at the table would know Gwod was all powerful.  I'm being silly, but her latest devotionals have driven me to it!  ?  Seriously, I'd be horribly uncomfortable sitting down to sup with Gwen.

[Fashion Forward]

On 3/2/2019 at 8:54 AM, danvillebelle said:

Has anyone seen any recent pics of Elizabeth?

I posted this in the last thread but these are the most recent pictures I had found of Elizabeth & Michael. 

[CTRLZero]

I could be wrong, but it looks like Michael might be enjoying a Black Abbey Five Points brew while waiting for the growl. 

Black Abbey beer list

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

I could be wrong, but it looks like Michael might be enjoying a Black Abbey Five Points brew while waiting for the growl. 

Black Abbey beer list

Gwen isn’t against alcohol. There have been plenty of pictures of RF members drinking things that look like alcohol. I think she’s just against getting drunk. But I imagine it’s very easy to get drunk when you are underweight and only ate a bite of a hamburger that day. 

[Fashion Forward]

On 3/1/2019 at 1:18 PM, SuperNova said:

I know and love my child deeply. There were times when she was growing up that she was rebellious and disrespectful and it was such a departure from her usual self that I drew closer to her. It didn't break any connection with my child and I sure as hell didn't take it personally as Gwen seems to do. Those times of rebellion were when my child needed me most. Gwen, you twat, this is basic love and humanity.

I was at an event once at Gwen's house and I witnessed her caring and loving and gentle "redirection" that she speaks so much of towards her grandchildren... One of the granddaughters was misbehaving so Gwen tugged at her arm to prevent her from running off, leaned down and told her in a very stern voice that she would get a spanking from Gwen herself if she continued misbehaving. She also said this loud enough for me to hear her 8ft away with a lot of other chatter in the room. I honestly think the little girl was just a bit excited so she was a bit louder than usual... Nothing out of the ordinary for a young child. Made me feel very uncomfortable.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, Fashion Forward said:

I was at an event once at Gwen's house and I witnessed her caring and loving and gentle "redirection" that she speaks so much of towards her grandchildren... One of the granddaughters was misbehaving so Gwen tugged at her arm to prevent her from running off, leaned down and told her in a very stern voice that she would get a spanking from Gwen herself if she continued misbehaving. She also said this loud enough for me to hear her 8ft away with a lot of other chatter in the room. I honestly think the little girl was just a bit excited so she was a bit louder than usual... Nothing out of the ordinary for a young child. Made me feel very uncomfortable.

That makes me sad. My grandmas never spanked us. Even though they did spank our parents when they were children. We used to laugh at my paternal grandma’s punishments. They were to sit in time out on a big comfy chair near the tv that was usually on. Great punishment there grandma ?

[WorseThan1Thinks]

2 hours ago, Fashion Forward said:

I posted this in the last thread but these are the most recent pictures I had found of Elizabeth & Michael. 

I would normally never comment on someone's weight, but considering Michael career has been writing, playing and singing songs in support of Remnant and Gwen and her teachings (essentially - obey God for salvation, first and foremost by keeping weight off), it's fair game.

Michael has put on a lot of weight.  And pretty darn fast.  The irony of Gwen's two children both having weight issues (Elizabeth being severely underweight/anorexic - still a weight issue), all while being raised under Gwen and Remnant's teachings cannot be missed.  Yet Gwen cries out from the rooftops, that "Weigh Down works" (indeed, even the title of her latest book is "Weigh Down Works" - that says the exact same things as all her previous books said).  And let's not forget Gwen first husband being severely overweight from the very beginning of Remnant until Gwen divorced him (and ironically, David has lost lots of weight since).  Oh, the irony.

Last time Michael gained lots of weight was a good handful of years ago, and things went very bad for him and his family.  I hope he doesn't fall into the same trap and put his wife through the wringer again.

I wonder if this time Michael realizes his future inheritance doesn't rely on him kissing up to his mother.  Maybe he realized "being under his mom's authority" as a grown man doesn't sit quite right with him.  (I'm all for honoring your parents no matter your age, but Gwen's "get under my authority" is WAY, WAY different than a healthy honoring of your parents).  Maybe he realized he's got a friend in his father and likely he's an heir of the inheritance his father will someday leave behind.  Maybe Michael realized his mom's money would just go to Tarzan on her death.  Remember his father walked away from the divorce with millions and gets a million+ each year for 3 years.

Maybe Michael has just had enough??

The past handful of services I've watch over the past 2-3 months (I have reasons), Michael is pretty much non-existent.  In one service, he played one song.  One.  (And as previously mentioned by someone else, hard to see him since they turned the grand piano around to block a good view of him ever since he started putting on weight).  The other services, he's not there at all.  His wife is sitting there in the front row without her husband.  The 'parade our perfect families up on stage' that the service always ends with has Erin up there by herself. 

Michael hasn't made a public Facebook post for over 3 years, not a public Twitter tweet in over a year.  Social media is key for every music artist that sells albums.  Add to that, RF has always been HUGE on posting, and having their members post, on social media to bring glory to RF and Gwen.  Yet not a peep from Michael.

It's makes you wonder.  Is Gwen's own son starting to fad away from RF and his mom?  Maybe this divorce somehow was one more straw on the camel's back.  

Something is definitely up with Michael... and it is in no way good for Gwen and RF.

[formergothardite]

Today's message is if you eat without the growl God will curse you. Gwen's God seems to spend and massive amount of time worrying about people eating too much and not any time worrying about people who don't have food to eat. This is a rather threatening devotional, because it is obvious she is saying that those who don't follow her teachings are going to be cursed by God. 

Quote

Some of the ways of escape that people share are humorous. But I believe that God has a great sense of humor, and He enjoys these creative quests as much as you do. God will go to great lengths to help us on this journey, and it is humbling to realize that He cares so much to provide us with these second, and sometimes third, chances to obey. Unfortunately, we can be stubborn and determined to eat anyway… that is when you heed the warnings that curses come for those who stubbornly disobey.

God is helping you get away from the food and run to Him instead; He actually wants your devotion and is a Jealous God, so He eliminates His competition.

We all have our “testing times” where we are tempted to eat for emotional reasons—the pain of life, stressful situations, times of boredom, times of sickness, and even times of celebration. You are going to have to surrender those times of eating, knowing that the end result will be SO much better!

 

[AmazonGrace]

She thinks that everything is intended to  distract  us  from eating  but how do we know  that God didn't intend eating to distract us from stress? 

[CTRLZero]

12 hours ago, WorseThan1Thinks said:

Social media is key for every music artist that sells albums. 

I always think about how strange it must have been for those two Shamblin kids to be raised in that household with a mother who obsessed about weight and a father that apparently didn't.  Michael and Elizabeth look to be mirror images of their father and mother.

Do you happen to know if Michael plays somewhere other than for RF?  There are a lot of bands playing around town, and I am wondering if he has gone that route? 

[Pianokeeper]

I feel like Michael must be a little bit caught in between a rock and a hard place.  It's either try to make it out in the real world, where he can be a normal person with normal eating habits and interests -- but where his musical skills are mediocre at best, or stay in the protective, insulated bubble of his mother's cult, where his music is valued and appreciated (at least more than it would be elsewhere)... but then he has to deal with living under his mother's increasingly unhinged rules and expectations. 

His own wife's willingness to change her name to something more in keeping with RF styles doesn't really bode well for her helping him escape.  Who knows if he'd have the fortitude to try and get a better musical education or pursue a different career?  He might, but... would he know that he's got it in him, with such a domineering personality overshadowing all his decisions?

[SuperNova]

On 3/3/2019 at 4:27 AM, formergothardite said:

The fourth category of escape is the fact that we sometimes cannot get to the food—the “disabled” category. 

Apparently this thought process works the other way as well. Yesterday Mr. Nova and I were doing our weekly shopping. He decided that he wanted a single serve beer. The cans were stacked on top of each other and when he tried to grab one, the bottom can came with it. He made a second attempt to just grab the top can but nope, the bottom one was somehow stuck. Remembering Gwen's helpful teachings, I said to Mr. Nova, god wants you to have both. He looked at me and said I think you're right and put both in the cart. Nevermind that we're atheists. God "enabled" Mr Nova to have a second beer!

[WorseThan1Thinks]

10 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

Do you happen to know if Michael plays somewhere other than for RF?  There are a lot of bands playing around town, and I am wondering if he has gone that route? 

I don't know.  You would think he would post something on his Facebook page or Twitter if he had a gig somewhere.  It's more like he's essentially AWOL.  Maybe trying to lay low and slowly make an exit??  

7 hours ago, Pianokeeper said:

I feel like Michael must be a little bit caught in between a rock and a hard place.  It's either try to make it out in the real world, where he can be a normal person with normal eating habits and interests -- but where his musical skills are mediocre at best, or stay in the protective, insulated bubble of his mother's cult, where his music is valued and appreciated (at least more than it would be elsewhere)... but then he has to deal with living under his mother's increasingly unhinged rules and expectations. 

I couldn't agree more.  He's in a tough spot.  His whole career has been music in Remnant.  While subjective, I always thought he had some song writing ability, but his voice was nothing special at all.  Nashville has countless very talented musicians.  It would be very hard to compete there unless you were absolutely top notch.  

He had a guaranteed, captive audience (albeit, relatively small) at Remnant, a solid salary, and so many other material perks from his position of being Gwen's son.

Maybe he'll come to his senses, man up to get out from his mommy's authority at the age of 38 (I think 38)  and like you said, "try to make it in the real world".  

If he decides to leave, I honestly wish him the best in life.  If he decides to stay, the torment will just continue and it will continue to show and wear on him. 

[formergothardite]

Today's devotional is just a reminder that nothing is as fun as not eating. Being thin is the ultimate fun. Write down all the ways you can avoid food. I bet Gwen is so in her bubble of eating disorder support that she doesn't have the slightest idea of how awful her advice sounds to the rest of us. 

Quote

Remember, everyone has tough days, but food can no longer be your comfort or reward during these hard days. Here is the way to reason with yourself during a “testing time” when your mind wants to go and eat food but your stomach is NOT calling for food yet: Remind yourself that you will either suffer for 1 hour to pass the test and not eat, or suffer misery for 24-72 hours if you fail and binge out. Remember: You are exchanging 1 hour of indulgence for a 24-hour day of fun! How fun to be thin! This far outweighs the indulgence with food.

There is nothing more fulfilling in life than searching for and discovering the personal love and attention of the Father. He is waiting to show off His love and His character to us in totally fresh and unique ways. He is such a genius. It would bore Him to be anything but incredible and mysterious in all of His ways. In The Tablet and in WeighDown, the rewards, the ways of escape, and the signs of His love are daily and as numerous as the sands on the seashore. Please take the time to write down the ways of escape that God personalized just for you, and read and reread it often, for it will help you to see how loved you really are. God is not too important and busy for the details of your life. I pray about everything and continue to experiment with prayer, as Christ said we would be able to move mountains. You are more special to the Heavens than you know.

 

[RFfamANON]

 

On 3/4/2019 at 7:11 AM, formergothardite said:

Unfortunately, we can be stubborn and determined to eat anyway… that is when you heed the warnings that curses come for those who stubbornly disobey.

Oh dear Gwod!!  How can you continue this nonsensical rambling?!?!  I am not a theology expert but I can confidently promise you that God  is not sitting on a throne watching and waiting for you to overeat so he can curse you. That is just absurd!  

And it’s also a very dangerous thing to teach. Be careful Miss Gwen. You might want to go take a peek at Ezekiel 13:9 .... “My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and utter lying divinations. They will not belong to the council of my people or be listed in the records of Israel, nor will they enter the land of Israel. Then you will know that I am the Sovereign LORD”