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Gwen Shamblin 6: Billy Madison Is Smarter than Gwen Shamblin


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39 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

That video! So this is the first time that I sat and listened to her for a bit. “You know” and “like” OMG she is a motivational speaker? She really needs to work on stopping herself from saying “you know” and “like”. At the 16 minute mark I think she said “like” 6 times.

This video talks about sexual immorality several times and (of course) food. I wonder why she kept going on about sexual infidelity. Note - I didn’t listen to the entire thing, her voice annoys me. That super sugary, southern drawl that has an undertone of “bless your heart” with everything she says.

I need to snark on her outfit. I am not the least bit sorry about it either.  First, her dress! It looks like she is a Wild West saloon girl or a how they made up the women as sexy going to bed in the 1980s (Grease, Crissy in 3’s Company, etc.) Secondly, the stripper heals! She is wearing white stripper heals and she is a head of a “church”. WTH?

Her heels are always huge! I’m guessing they give her at least 5 inches or more of height all of the time. I think it’s because she’s shrinking. That’s just my theory. I know we all shrink a little bit with age. But I think she’s likely shrinking faster than her same age friends because of her unhealthy diet.

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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On 5/5/2019 at 5:52 PM, sajetime said:

Around the 24:30-minute mark, it gets even weirder. She, desperate to look like a real loving couple, reaches for him and says they have a relationship and he — sarcastically? passive aggressively? both?— says “ Oh Boy!” with another uncomfortable expression she tries unconvincingly to laugh off.

I had to make the video fullscreen with the sound muted because her nasty voice still gives me PTSD after being forced to listen to her for hours every day for so many years.  But is the backing of that display cabinet behind her just unfinished wood with splotches of white paint in random places?  It's like she thought to herself, "How can I make my decor match my garbage-bag clothing?"

And I'm amused but not surprised at her weird dynamics with Joe. Her entire ministry essentially promotes a toxic, Stockholm syndrome-like relationship with God, spouses, earthly authority figures, etc. I pity everyone who is still caught up in her nonsense.

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I probably spend too much time thinking about RF, but they are fascinating in a train-wreck-can't-look-away way.  Perusing the photos on RF FB last night I saw the 2019 Purim one with the nearly skeletal Elizabeth in full goth black and dark lipstick.

My first thought was she looked thinner and more unhealthy that ever.  My second thought was -- we all know Elizabeth is the RF heir apparent, but who would take over if Elizabeth was unable or unavailable?

Michael?  But he 's gained weight and doesn't seem to be all in these days. 

Elle? I can't see it.  

Elizabeth's husband?  Can't see that either.

Joe Lara?  Too new to RF and probably in it for the money/ life style but not much else.

Rob Day? David Martin? Tedd Anger? Or as I think of them -- the Conman, the Comedian and the Enforcer. RD seems to me to have bought into RF as a way to increase his WF business. He seems so slick and snarmy in videos.  DM makes silly faces in photos, but I suspect he's not funny or nice at all in real life.  TA scares the bejazuz out of me in photos and videos.  His smile never reaches his eyes and there seems to be a lot of barely surpressed anger under his veneer.

Help me out former RF-ers. Any thoughts on who would take over RF if not Elizabeth?

Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress
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Is it too much wishful thinking to hope for the whole cult to just fall apart in that case?

Who the heck is Rob Day? Are there other new leaders?

David Martin is not much of a comedian.  He has the creepy, sunken, fervent eyes of a zealot.  Also, he looks like he has (had? I haven't seen a pic of him in years) a bad hair transplantation procedure, so if he took over Remnant he would certainly fit the trend Gwen started.

Edited by throwaway9988
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 Yes, one does hope the whole thing would fall apart.

Rob & Tiffany Day are fairly new, 7 or 8 years since they joined I think.  I understand they had a meteoric rise in RF.  Their bio is on the RF Our Leaders page,  RD is Sr Executive Vice Chairman of World Financial Group, which seems like a pyramid scheme to me

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Yeah the WFG is a MLM scam.  I bet Rob Day loves being in Remnant.  Tons of susceptible people to suck into the pyramid.

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1 hour ago, throwaway9988 said:

David Martin...looks like he has (had? I haven't seen a pic of him in years) a bad hair transplantation procedure, so if he took over Remnant he would certainly fit the trend Gwen started.

"The Dutchman must have a captain!"

You guys, I have been laughing my ass off for 10 minutes at the thought of seaweed-covered Remnant leaders surrounding David Martin and forcing him to be the new Gwen, because only he has hair that is bad enough to replace hers. "The Remnant must have a rat's nest!"

Edited by throwaway9988
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Today's devotional to Gwod is how regular grocery store food(or what the rest of us call junk food) is totally fine to eat. Mocking her junk food addiction really must get to her because she has devoted a lot of devotionals explaining how junk food is what God wants you to eat. And she still sounds like she is attempting to copy out of a text book she doesn't actually understand. 

Eating junk food in small amounts won't hurt you, but everyone I know feels terrible when they eat a bunch of junk food. Gwen must feel awful between the constant starvation and only existing on junk. 

Quote

All foods are composed of primarily water, proteins, carbohydrates, fats, and trace (tiny) amounts of vitamins and minerals. Proteins, carbohydrates [CHO], and fats are made up of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. Proteins add nitrogen to their chemical structures.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as well as the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulate and monitor pesticide use and residues in conventional foods. The real question is: Will grocery store food harm you as some have claimed?

Well, here is how it works… Our Heavenly Creator has made our bodies to detect and rid themselves of harmful chemicals that are not part of the normal dietary process. Hypothetically, let us say your toddler accidently put dirt into his mouth. His stomach would be the first place that could detect harmful bacteria or chemicals. The stomach may throw it back up and out of the body. Most harmful bacteria would be destroyed in the very acidic [pH 1.5] stomach fluids. If harmful substances get past the stomach and into the intestines, then the body might trigger diarrhea (increased peristalsis) to rid the body. Nothing can get into your bloodstream until it passes through the intestinal wall. This “wall” is amazingly selective and specific for what the body wants. It is almost impossible for a foreign or harmful substance to make it past this barrier, because it does not have a carrier (or a gate code to get through), so it stays in the intestines and just passes. But let us say that something foreign or bad did make its way in… then the liver acts as a super filter and traps it and breaks the chemical apart, rendering it harmless. The now cleaned/filtered blood goes through the hepatic vein and is then disseminated.

 

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Grocery store food?  This woman with this vocabulary is a published author with book sales.

Let that sink in for a second.

Also...the last time I went to the grocery store I bought fresh asparagus, a box of spring mix, skim milk, English muffins, and Cheetos.  

aren't all of those technically “grocery store food”  since I bought them in a grocery store?

by that logic Swedish fish and fresh halibut are in the same food group as I can get them in the same place.  

Her way with words is as offensive to me as my less than perfect thighs are to her.  The difference is you don’t see me posting my thighs all over the internet so they can gain their own crazy cult following!

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Spoiler

It is almost impossible for a foreign or harmful substance to make it past this barrier, because it does not have a carrier (or a gate code to get through), so it stays in the intestines and just passes. But let us say that something foreign or bad did make its way in… then the liver acts as a super filter and traps it and breaks the chemical apart, rendering it harmless.

So basically she's saying that it's impossible to get poisoned?

Oh man, Agatha Christie was so full of crap.

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I guess people who get food poisoning from grocery store food must not have a liver?

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Grocery store food sounds much better than processed food or junk food. That’s why she phrased it that way. 

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8 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Food that was bought from where they sell food.

Yes.  She’s quite the wordsmith.

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Gwen is the living embodiment of the WC Fields quote, If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

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Boys and girls, please pay attention now. There will be a quiz later.

 

May 7:

Spoiler

All foods are composed of primarily water, proteins, carbohydrates, fats, and trace (tiny) amounts of vitamins and minerals. Proteins, carbohydrates [CHO], and fats are made up of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. Proteins add nitrogen to their chemical structures.

May 5

Spoiler

The food you eat is simply chemicals—primarily molecules of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins—which are made up of carbons, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen.

May 2

Spoiler

Everything you eat is a chemical, primarily carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen. Organic simply means it contains “carbon,” and almost all foods are made up of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.

April 30:

Spoiler

All the food groups are simply chemicals that can be converted to glucose by the liver, thus providing the needed fuel to run on.

 

Now for the quiz:
 

Spoiler

 

a) y'all eating chemicals, yes or nah?

b) carbohydrates, fat and proteins. anyone ever heard of those?

c) carbon, nitrogen, hydrogen, oxygen and water, whatcha think about that?

 

 

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Gwen's understanding of biochemistry is basically nonexistent.  "It's all just Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, some other stuff... your body will figure it out." Details matter! 

See the following formulas for various substances, all made of the same elements: 

  • A. C41H64O13
  • B. C6H12O6
  • C. CH4
  • D. H2O
  • E. H2O2

 

A. Digitoxin!  One of the cardiac glycosides that makes foxgloves poisonous

B. Glucose!  The sugar that drives most of your metabolic cellular processes

C. Methane!  A greenhouse gas

D. Water! Plain old water

E. Hydrogen peroxide, aka what makes Gwen's wigs platinum blonde

 

Clearly, details matter.  Science is complicated; that's why thousands of people have studied it for hundreds of years -- not just because they're bored, but because it turns out that being a Tennessee dietitian does not qualify you to speak on the physical health of all humankind.  

 

 

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37 minutes ago, Pianokeeper said:

Tennessee charletan

FTFY.  Great post even if you did make me now doubt that my Cheetos are just as good for me as leafy greens.

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Does this mean I can't eat a carton of Oreos and call it a salad? 

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I can’t consider Double Stuf to be the “regular” kind and regular to be the diet version? ?

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That video … WOW. She is so painfully thin it makes me feel weird. Her clunky shoes and utterly ridiculous mountain of hair make her look even thinner, which is probably the whole point. "Oh boy" are they ever an awkward couple.

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23 minutes ago, Blessings of the Corn said:

Oh boy" are they ever an awkward couple.

They are so painfully awkward when they interact. Tarzan can't act well enough to make them look like a devoted couple. 

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17 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

They are so painfully awkward when they interact. Tarzan can't act well enough to make them look like a devoted couple. 

Do you think she knows he's likely only there for the cash?  Or can she delude herself that there is more to it?

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This random and off the wall, but what if the Shamblin-Lara marriage is purely a business arrangement?

 As her former hubby was never part of RF, Gwen wanted a decent looking man as part of her ministry = Joe.  Joe needs money and influence in his custody battle = Gwen.  A deal is struck, each gets what they want.  Joe get a a more lavish lifestyle  with money and influence. Gwen gets a man on her arm and in her videos.

The reason they look so awkward together is the whole marriage is a sham. They're business partners not a loving couple.  I bet money there are separate bedrooms and they're not having sex.

Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress
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24 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

This random and off the wall, but what if the Shamblin-Lara marriage is purely a business arrangement?

 As her former hubby was never part of RF, Gwen wanted a decent looking man as part of her ministry = Joe.  Joe needs money and influence in his custody battle = Gwen.  A deal is struck, each gets what they want.  Joe get a a more lavish lifestyle  with money and influence. Gwen gets a man on her arm and in her videos.

The reason they look so awkward together is the whole marriage is a sham. They're business partners not a loving couple.  I bet money there are separate bedrooms and they're not having sex.

Interesting theory.  I'd think if it were orchestrated the timing wouldn't be so embarassing for her.  There would be more distance between her divorce and new hook up.

Him going in for a deliberate con I'd totally buy, though.  She's crazy and wears her insecurities on her poofy sleeves.  She'd have been a prime target for a guy to play her.

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