Maxwell 29: You Can Leave Your Vest On, Second Verse Same as the First

[PennySycamore]

I wonder if P is for Pterodactyl:  The Worst Alphabet Book Ever is ok in Maxwellvania.  It might be too much fun for a Maxwell kid.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

5 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Harry Potter was a huge no no in my house. It was wicked and evil. I was 21, I think, when I started reading the books. My mom caught me and told me she didn’t want that read in her house.

I was 26 or 27 when I read the first Harry Potter book, but that's because I was 26 when it was published. I read John Bellairs' The House With a Clock in Its Walls and the sequels when I was in grade school, so Harry Potter didn't really shock me. (Spoiler: In the first book, 10 year old Lewis raises someone from the dead.) And I try to read my 10 year old's chapter books from time to time, to know what she's reading. Some of the fantasy genre ones are pretty good! I'm afraid the graphic novel versions of The Babysitters Club books don't do much for me, though. 

3 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I wonder if P is for Pterodactyl:  The Worst Alphabet Book Ever is ok in Maxwellvania.  It might be too much fun for a Maxwell kid.

Or maybe they would like "A" is for Musk Ox. I'd love to see Stevehovah's face if someone read it to his grandkids.

[CyborgKin]

6 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I wonder if P is for Pterodactyl:  The Worst Alphabet Book Ever is ok in Maxwellvania.  It might be too much fun for a Maxwell kid.

Well it has O is for Oija

 

As for Harry Potter, that's a definite big no in my house (while the Maxwells are a big yes).  So is fanfiction.  But one of my siblings has (unwittingly) revealed a habit of reading HP fanfiction to me.  It's fun to ask probing questions while pretending not to know  "Wait, why are the kids in this story learning to fight?  So is this wargame thing like laser tag?  If one of the teams is named after dragons, are dragons real in this world?"

[meee]

7 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I wonder if P is for Pterodactyl:  The Worst Alphabet Book Ever is ok in Maxwellvania.  It might be too much fun for a Maxwell kid.

I'm not familiar with the book, but they may not believe in dinosaurs.

[Captain Obvious]

20 hours ago, ThisOrdinaryTime said:

Had to jump into this after lurking for a while.

Here's the thing: Karma Wilson (author of the Bear books) is a Christian. She even homeschools her kids. She's written the most charming Christmas book, Mortimer's Christmas Manger that is so sweet, it's almost painful, and it makes me cry every time I read it aloud. She is a wonderful author. I almost feel personally insulted as a teacher and librarian that they "wouldn't care to read" some of those books. 

I just went and read that book online and it basically repeats the Christmas story and has the mouse getting prayers answered by Jesus - but I suspect that Steve would reject it because it has a. a Christmas tree and b. girls in pants. Which is completely ridiculous. 

I suspect Gigi or Melanie wouldn't have a problem with it, so I hope they sneak it in somehow. 

[TeaELSee]

6 hours ago, meee said:

I'm not familiar with the book, but they may not believe in dinosaurs.

I will never cease to be shocked by the willful ignorance of people in the U.S., we aren’t even bound by common facts anymore. 

I did laugh pretty hard when the Duggar’s (might have been the Bates) filmed at that huge Noah’s arc attraction and they showed dinosaurs on the arc. 

Side note: The Maxwells are an aggressively boring family.

 

[meee]

1 hour ago, TeaELSee said:

I will never cease to be shocked by the willful ignorance of people in the U.S., we aren’t even bound by common facts anymore. 

I did laugh pretty hard when the Duggar’s (might have been the Bates) filmed at that huge Noah’s arc attraction and they showed dinosaurs on the arc. 

Side note: The Maxwells are an aggressively boring family.

 

Wait, I didn't say I don't believe in dinosaurs, just that it would make sense of the Maxwells from what I know of them.

[Leftitinmysnood]

I knew many fundies who did not approve of anything anthropomorphized because saying animals can talk and wear clothes is "lying." They used that rationale for Narnia as well (like magic wasn't reason enough in their world.)

[TeaELSee]

1 hour ago, meee said:

Wait, I didn't say I don't believe in dinosaurs, just that it would make sense of the Maxwells from what I know of them.

I wasn’t referring to you, I was referring to the Maxwells/ like minded fundies.

[MamaJunebug]

Glanced at Squirrelously, Dads and was astonished he called HP literally “Wicked & evil.”  Obviously, he’s never laid one of his rheumy eyes upon one word of the books. 

Just for fun, I followed a link to Terifying’s conversion story and it was so badly written, that I confess I didn’t finish nor read it closely.   HOWEVER (and there’s always a “however” in life), apparently she had an inkling she’d found True Faith  when she and Steve began attending a congregation where people called each other “brother” and “sister.”

Oh, brother! 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

5 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

I will never cease to be shocked by the willful ignorance of people in the U.S., we aren’t even bound by common facts anymore. 

Unfortunately, willful ignorance isn't geographically determined. If it were, we could just round up all the deliberately foolish people on a isolated island and ignore them. ?️

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Unfortunately, willful ignorance isn't geographically determined. If it were, we could just round up all the deliberately foolish people on a isolated island and ignore them. ?️

Dumbass island would only last a year, tops. They’d blow themselves up or starve. But I’m sure Fox would make a great reality show out of it. 

[onekidanddone]

On 2/27/2019 at 6:41 AM, mango_fandango said:

A week of Maxwell dinners!! Apparently they now have their bigger meal at lunch. Anna also discovered that cooking pasta separately from soup means that it doesn’t get mushy.

What a boring post...

Yo Steve! Bought myself a red InstantPot. I love that it matches my kettle, sauce pot, and popcorn maker. 

You of course won’t approve because you know fun.

ETA: It looks like there is a tray on top of the cooker but it is really on the pass through.

 

[ViolaSebastian]

4 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

Yo Steve! Bought myself a red InstantPot. I love that it matches my kettle, sauce pot, and popcorn maker. 

You of course won’t approve because you know fun.

ETA: It looks like there is a tray on top of the cooker but it really on the pass through.

 

From one red kitchen accessories lover to another, this is AWESOME. (My toaster, pots/pans, mixer, even microwave). I didn't know instant pots could be in any color but black...I'm going to have to check this out. 

Spoiler

 

 

[onekidanddone]

13 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Well it has O is for Oija

 

As for Harry Potter, that's a definite big no in my house (while the Maxwells are a big yes).  So is fanfiction.  But one of my siblings has (unwittingly) revealed a habit of reading HP fanfiction to me.  It's fun to ask probing questions while pretending not to know  "Wait, why are the kids in this story learning to fight?  So is this wargame thing like laser tag?  If one of the teams is named after dragons, are dragons real in this world?"

Did I post this already? I really want to send a copy to Jrod or maybe P Cubed and Z squared.

Spoiler

 

 

[catlady]

On 2/27/2019 at 6:02 PM, Tatar-tot said:

1. Johnny Marzetti (Midwest Special) w/ Costco Canned Green Beans

I had never heard of Johnny Marzetti before, so I looked it up just to see what it was, and the recipe I found looked pretty good. It didn’t call for green beans though. I made a few changes based on our current diets:  

i used low-carb chickpea rotini and ground turkey; I kept the garlic, onion, and celery; skipped the fresh green pepper because I pulled a Maxwell and had some homemade sauce in the fridge that contained peppers (I made it Friday night to use up some aging produce); then I used less than half of the 3.5 cups of shredded cheese in the recipe. 

I put it in three mini casseroles so that I can freeze them for week night dinners.  They’re in the oven now, so it will be a while before we test them. I’m planning ahead, do I get a MOTH badge now?

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

The topic of weird alphabet books reminds me of my favorite alphabet song, by The Barenaked Ladies.

You Tube

Spoiler

 

Lyrics

Spoiler

Crazy ABC's Song

 Song by Barenaked Ladies 

Hey Steve!

Hey Ed, that sounds nice, what is it?

Thank you, it's an alphabet song I'm working on

Oh great, a whole new alphabet,

I just learned the old one.

 

A is for aisle

B is for bdellium

C is for czar

And if you see him, would you mind telling him

 

OK, hang on a second, yeah aisle?

Yeah, aisle like a, like a theatre.

Alright, OK, and bdellium?

Bdellium, it's a gum like tree resin, it starts with a silent B

And then czar?

Yeah, it's uh- like a Russian czar.

You know, everyone knows apple ball and cat,

I wanted to get into some you know,

Some stranger words.

Right, I see what you're doing.

 

D is for djinn

E for Euphrates

F is for fohn, but not like when I call the ladies

 

I thought phone started with a "p"...like a "ph"

No its f-o-h-n, it's a kind of wind

Yeah, I know what you mean by wind

 

G for Gnarly,

I for irk

H is for hour

J for jalapeño

Good in either corn or flour (tortillas)

Nice rhyme

K is for knick-knack

L is for llama

Pramma, llama, ding

 

What's so strange about llama?

Llama, its starts with two L's

What's the second one for?

No idea.

I know, loser.

 

M for mnemonic

N is for ngomo

O is for ouija board

P for pneumonia, pterodactyl and psychosis

Q is for qat

 

OK, Q, qat? What?

Yeah it's uh...q-a-t,

It's an evergreen shrub

It's a perfect scrabble word because it's a q with no u,

There's not many of those

You have too much time on your hands.

 

R is for R-gyle

No, it isn't

 

OK, you're right; I couldn't find a good "r" word

 

S is for Saar, a lovely German river

T for tsunami, a wave that makes me quiver

U is for urn, but not like earning money

V for vraisemblance from French,

And therefore kind of funny

W for wren, wrinkly, and who.

X is for Xian, an ancient Chinese city, true!

 

Ancient Chinese city, huh?

My guitar player, some hotshot.

 

Y is for yperite, a very nasty gas.

And zed's the final letter

And by final, I mean last.

 

OK, when you say zed,

For the benefit of our American friends

You really mean Z, right?

No I mean Zed, like, like Zed Zed Top.

Zed Zed Top?

Yeah, you know the guys with the big long beards,

Well, except the guy whose name is Beard,

He has a mustache

I always thought that was interesting

You done with the alphabet?

No extra letters I haven't heard of?

I think so.

Well this was a great help, I think, you know,

The contribution you made to world literacy

Well, I'm just saying, kids

I'm just saying

Think outside the box a little bit

Box with an "r"

Yeah, well, no, box with a b-a-l-k-s, like a pitcher.

Ahh, as opposed to b-a-c-h-s,

Right, think outside the "balks"

 

[TeaELSee]

5 hours ago, catlady said:

I had never heard of Johnny Marzetti before, so I looked it up just to see what it was, and the recipe I found looked pretty good. 

I’ve never had it nor heard of it until I watched an episode of the Gilmore Girls! Apparently it was Richard’s favorite meal as a child.  I’m done with tv trivia now...

[PennySycamore]

I'm watching The Heiress on TCM and Dr Sloper's reaction to his older, unmarried daughter, Catherine, reminds me so much of Teri's birthday letter to Sarah.

[Odd1Out]

On 3/1/2019 at 4:17 PM, HereticHick said:

OK, parents, I am dying to know which of these "Bear" books [see: https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B001IGSL24]

are objectionable in Maxwellvania???!!

Is there a"Bear Gets Gay Married" one?  "Bear goes to Public School?" "Bear puts beans in burritos?"

I wonder if that commenter felt the slap in the face Terie delivered to her? Here she was so excited to share something she had in common with Terie and go on about the other books I’m sure she felt Terie would love. Then Terie let’s her know that the Maxwells are above those heathen books. 

[thoughtful]

15 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

I'm watching The Heiress on TCM and Dr Sloper's reaction to his older, unmarried daughter, Catherine, reminds me so much of Teri's birthday letter to Sarah.

Oh, other than not being a fundy, Dr. Sloper would fit right in with the narcissistic, controlling parents we discuss here. That character is the master of damning with faint praise and slipping in subtle insults that he claims are expressions of care and love. Ralph Richardson plays him to perfection.

[MamaJunebug]

52 minutes ago, Odd1Out said:

I wonder if that commenter felt the slap in the face Terie delivered to her? Here she was so excited to share something she had in common with Terie and go on about the other books I’m sure she felt Terie would love. Then Terie let’s her know that the Maxwells are above those heathen books. 

To paraphrase something I overheard recently: “Teri, you’re a dick.”

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

I'm watching The Heiress on TCM and Dr Sloper's reaction to his older, unmarried daughter, Catherine, reminds me so much of Teri's birthday letter to Sarah.

Oh, man!  I’d never heard of the film before tonight and - as is my wont - I cheated and looked up the plot about halfway through. 

Spoiler

I feared Catherine was going to turn into a monster at the end, but her smile of realization as she reached the top of the stairs, plus her announcement that she’d do no more embroidery, made me think she realizes she’s freed herself from the cruel ones in her life and can now live her life beautifully!  She even *looks* radisntvat that point! 

Loved it!!  

[Captain Obvious]

11 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

The topic of weird alphabet books reminds me of my favorite alphabet song, by The Barenaked Ladies.

You Tube

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Lyrics

  Reveal hidden contents

Crazy ABC's Song

 Song by Barenaked Ladies 

Hey Steve!

Hey Ed, that sounds nice, what is it?

Thank you, it's an alphabet song I'm working on

Oh great, a whole new alphabet,

I just learned the old one.

 

A is for aisle

B is for bdellium

C is for czar

And if you see him, would you mind telling him

 

OK, hang on a second, yeah aisle?

Yeah, aisle like a, like a theatre.

Alright, OK, and bdellium?

Bdellium, it's a gum like tree resin, it starts with a silent B

And then czar?

Yeah, it's uh- like a Russian czar.

You know, everyone knows apple ball and cat,

I wanted to get into some you know,

Some stranger words.

Right, I see what you're doing.

 

D is for djinn

E for Euphrates

F is for fohn, but not like when I call the ladies

 

I thought phone started with a "p"...like a "ph"

No its f-o-h-n, it's a kind of wind

Yeah, I know what you mean by wind

 

G for Gnarly,

I for irk

H is for hour

J for jalapeño

Good in either corn or flour (tortillas)

Nice rhyme

K is for knick-knack

L is for llama

Pramma, llama, ding

 

What's so strange about llama?

Llama, its starts with two L's

What's the second one for?

No idea.

I know, loser.

 

M for mnemonic

N is for ngomo

O is for ouija board

P for pneumonia, pterodactyl and psychosis

Q is for qat

 

OK, Q, qat? What?

Yeah it's uh...q-a-t,

It's an evergreen shrub

It's a perfect scrabble word because it's a q with no u,

There's not many of those

You have too much time on your hands.

 

R is for R-gyle

No, it isn't

 

OK, you're right; I couldn't find a good "r" word

 

S is for Saar, a lovely German river

T for tsunami, a wave that makes me quiver

U is for urn, but not like earning money

V for vraisemblance from French,

And therefore kind of funny

W for wren, wrinkly, and who.

X is for Xian, an ancient Chinese city, true!

 

Ancient Chinese city, huh?

My guitar player, some hotshot.

 

Y is for yperite, a very nasty gas.

And zed's the final letter

And by final, I mean last.

 

OK, when you say zed,

For the benefit of our American friends

You really mean Z, right?

No I mean Zed, like, like Zed Zed Top.

Zed Zed Top?

Yeah, you know the guys with the big long beards,

Well, except the guy whose name is Beard,

He has a mustache

I always thought that was interesting

You done with the alphabet?

No extra letters I haven't heard of?

I think so.

Well this was a great help, I think, you know,

The contribution you made to world literacy

Well, I'm just saying, kids

I'm just saying

Think outside the box a little bit

Box with an "r"

Yeah, well, no, box with a b-a-l-k-s, like a pitcher.

Ahh, as opposed to b-a-c-h-s,

Right, think outside the "balks"

 

I can't think of alphabet books now without thinking of this cartoon from Mad Magazine last year:

Spoiler

 

[LilMissMetaphor]

Quote

As I researched what other kids’ book covers looked like

Or you could have grown up in a family where you actually READ books, and then you'd just know.  Thanks, Tyrant and Sergeant Stevil!

[onekidanddone]

16 hours ago, onekidanddone said:

Yo Steve! Bought myself a red InstantPot. I love that it matches my kettle, sauce pot, and popcorn maker. 

You of course won’t approve because you know fun.

ETA: It looks like there is a tray on top of the cooker but it is really on the pass through.

 

Ugh that little spot of shmuts is making me twitchy. Note to self: Next time you post a photo of all of FJ to see make sure you have cleaned all the grime off the counters.