Lori Alexander 62: A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal- TRIGGER for child sexual abuse

[Sarah92]

I'm an October baby and I guess that was a cut off in my school system so I was always a bit older in my class. But while I waited my mom, who was a stay at home mom at the time, gave me lots of worksheets to do for learning and taught me tying shoes etc. I got worksheets during the summer too. Nothing major but enough to keep me from losing knowledge during the summer.

I'm a daddy's girl at heart and we've always had a good relationship. He used to work a second shift at a Corrections facility so there was a while I didn't see him often. Sometimes if he had a day off, mom would calls the school and give us the day off to spend it all together. My parents working never broke the bond between us. If anything we're closer now. Dad and I can talk about mental health in the prison system and mom and I can talk about the joys of working with kiddos. I learned independence and drive. They rarely held me back from my dreams and somehow I managed to turn out okay. 

[Lgirlrocks]

It’s pretty simple Kyle, mind your business. The child can also take the dads last name not the moms maiden name, if she keeps it, or hyphenated name. It’s not your choice to decide and if it means that much to you discuss it first. Having separate bank accounts and such isn’t a big deal. When I moved in with my bf I had more saving then him. We bank at the same bank and can transfer money pretty easy if we need to. It’s no big deal. He knows that if he needs money for something and doesn’t have it but I do I will give it to him. Work messed up his taxes last year and we needed to properly ventilate and insulate the attic. He was going to pay for it with his tax return money. Since work messed things up he ended up having to pay into two different states. I used some of my savings to pay for it. 

 

[ladyicantxplain]

Someone needs to tell "It's Good to be a Man", whomever he is, that husband doesn't mean "house-bound" but rather, "house BOND"...big difference.  And husband IN THE BIBLE (these people proclaim to have read) simply means "man".  Really boring definition; nothing to "read" into and create some doctrine over...just a man. 

Another know-it-all, prideful asshat whom Lori has chosen to idolize. I wonder if Ken ever gets tired of her spouting off about all the menz and their "wisdom?"  I wonder alternatively, if Ken is the one "leading" her to these menz and then getting all excited that she posts them for him, all passive-aggressive like?

Who can know.

 

 

Regarding the surname silliness, the name is absolutely irrelevant. If a man is SO terribly insecure that he has to base his success as a husband and the potential success of his future wife on whether or not she is willing to take HIS surname, he has no business marrying at all.

I have my maiden name. I have it because Mister DEMANDED that I keep it and not use his surname, during a marital separation. I never changed it after we came back together. 

You would not BELIEVE the shame I have endured at the mouths of "christians" who have questioned my maiden name.  It's like a badge of some kind for these people: think of a woman who looks like Frenchy in Grease, sitting and writing her name alongside Mister so-and-so in every way possible.  It's kind of sickening to me that people honestly believe a surname creates or breaks intimacy and unity in a marriage.

It's not the name; it's not the silly piece of paper we call a marriage license.  It's not whether the wife stays at home or works. It is whether the couple are MUTUALLY loving and honoring and cooperative with one another.

 

 

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

I have a November birthday and started kinder at 4 and college at 17. It wasn’t an issue for me but I’ve always been mature for my age. 

I think I said it wrong. If I, as a SAHM, had a 4 year old with a late birthday, I'd have no way of knowing whether he'd be mature enough to leave home at 17. So to play it safe, since there is no real downside, I'd start that child later rather than earlier. I completely understand that it can work for some people. I have friends who started their children at four and those kids are fine.

I do think, though, that intellectual ability (generally the reason given for an early start) is not a great reason to start a kid early. Social ability is far more important.  There are lots of ways to keep a bright five year old engaged--before, during and after the school day. Five is a delightful age, and engaged parents can do a lot--even simply handing him a chapter book--to keep him challenged if school is too "boring." Both my kids were TAG-identified but they were never bored at school. They found plenty to challenge them (figuring out the social milieu, for one thing).

As kids get older, there are tons of resources on the internet that can teach them whatever they want to know. Your six year old wants to study calculus? Head over to Kahn academy.

[Frog99]

35 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I think I said it wrong. If I, as a SAHM, had a 4 year old with a late birthday, I'd have no way of knowing whether he'd be mature enough to leave home at 17. So to play it safe, since there is no real downside, I'd start that child later rather than earlier. I completely understand that it can work for some people. I have friends who started their children at four and those kids are fine.

I do think, though, that intellectual ability (generally the reason given for an early start) is not a great reason to start a kid early. Social ability is far more important.  There are lots of ways to keep a bright five year old engaged--before, during and after the school day. Five is a delightful age, and engaged parents can do a lot--even simply handing him a chapter book--to keep him challenged if school is too "boring." Both my kids were TAG-identified but they were never bored at school. They found plenty to challenge them (figuring out the social milieu, for one thing).

As kids get older, there are tons of resources on the internet that can teach them whatever they want to know. Your six year old wants to study calculus? Head over to Kahn academy.

I don’t disagree. When I went to kinder it was still just a 1/2 day so who knows what my parents would have done if it was a full day program.

Social skills are very important. Mine were (and are still) extremely social-probably because of daycare and other activities. 

It’s hard to explain DS- it’s not just that he’s smart. Extra schoolwork and workbooks didn’t really help. He could complete those in one short sitting and still not be challenged. At Christmas, he had a detailed discussion about the stock market, stock selection, and current performance with my BIL. When he started school this year, he asked me why we hadn’t sent him to private school- naming one, saying their “educational program is more vigorous than public school and I wouldn’t have been so bored.” He and his friends play at recess but are also known to discuss world politics and current events. I’m excited to see what life path he ends up choosing. 

[Sarah92]

What Lori doesn't realize is her traditions are based off a very limited American/European view point. My supervisor has a hyphenated name but uses one during work. But she's Spanish. I'd hyphenate because my family last name is very important to me and I want to keep it going. This feminist is very family oriented so you shouldn't have a problem with that Lori. 

[Frog99]

3 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

What Lori doesn't realize is her traditions are based off a very limited American/European view point. My supervisor has a hyphenated name but uses one during work. But she's Spanish. I'd hyphenate because my family last name is very important to me and I want to keep it going. This feminist is very family oriented so you shouldn't have a problem with that Lori. 

Exactly. 

I didn’t hyphenate but I did drop my middle name and move my maiden name to my middle name. My mom did the same. Not sure what my sisters did. 

[Hisey]

39 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

I don’t disagree. When I went to kinder it was still just a 1/2 day so who knows what my parents would have done if it was a full day program.

Social skills are very important. Mine were (and are still) extremely social-probably because of daycare and other activities. 

It’s hard to explain DS- it’s not just that he’s smart. Extra schoolwork and workbooks didn’t really help. He could complete those in one short sitting and still not be challenged. At Christmas, he had a detailed discussion about the stock market, stock selection, and current performance with my BIL. When he started school this year, he asked me why we hadn’t sent him to private school- naming one, saying their “educational program is more vigorous than public school and I wouldn’t have been so bored.” He and his friends play at recess but are also known to discuss world politics and current events. I’m excited to see what life path he ends up choosing. 

Sounds like an interesting kid!

When you advocate for kids like that, you have to be prepared for people looking at you like you've farted, because you dared to say your child was smart and needs more. 

Personally, I think all kids are smart at something, whether it's academics or swimming or mechanics or building. The difficult thing about academically advanced kids is that you often need the help of the school, and school administrators don't generally appreciate "advice" from parents.

Beyond the age of 4, I don't think workbooks are the best choice for an academically advanced kid (before that, I could convince my kids that they were "playing a game"). I was thinking more of things like museum trips, factory tours, travel (where financially possible), lego technics, advanced cooking classes. Those were the sorts of things my two youngsters enjoyed, and we did too.

[Loveday]

Lori. The last name one chooses to take upon marriage is NOT a salvation issue. It's not a blasphemy issue. It's not an issue AT ALL. I can smell your desperation to go viral all the way over here on the east coast.

Oh, wait. That's just your chicken-juicy Norwex cloth I smell, isn't it? Never mind. ?

[Petronella]

Lori's ridiculousness about married names reminds me of this parable from Matthew:

21:28 “What do you think? A man had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ 21:29 The boy answered, ‘I will not.’ But later he had a change of heart and went. 21:30 The father went to the other son and said the same thing. This boy answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but did not go. 21:31 Which of the two did his father’s will?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, tax collectors and prostitutes will go ahead of you into the kingdom of God! 21:32 For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him. But the tax collectors and prostitutes believed him. Although you saw this, you did not later change your minds and believe him.”

I mean, geez, the people whose marriages are thriving have thriving marriages, with or without the same surnames. The people who are committed are committed, whatever name they use. And the other way around--if someone has a wandering eye, that's a problem, even if they've made the gesture of taking the name.

Jesus himself is saying that the promise of commitment (in the parable saying "I will"; in Loriland, taking someone's name) is nothing if they don't actually follow through. It's the follow-through that matters. So...look at the follow-through? See who's actually happy? See who stays together? See who cooperates and gets along and makes it through challenges?

Man, the more Lori blathers, the more superstitious she seems. It's as if taking the husband's name is a magic spell that promises staying together FOREVER!! I'm pretty sure she's not supposed to put her trust in spell-like gestures.

And "It's Good to be a Man" quoted by Lori as saying "This is why, in general, men are repulsed by a strong, independent woman!" I mean, uh, "in general"? How many people have been polled here, exactly? Have they looked at actual marriage statistics? Plenty of educated, working women getting married. (And some of them staying at home with their kids, even!) It's just...she takes her weird, idiosyncratic interpretation of the Bible and pretends that's what the world actually is, pretends that there are two kinds of women who experience two kinds of outcome, because that is what she thinks it's supposed to be. She literally doesn't acknowledge what's actually real.

(For the record, I did take my husband's name, which he didn't want me to do, because I wanted one last name for me, him, and any future kids together. Personal preference. Married 20 years. But not BECAUSE I took his last name.)

(Hey, wait--would Lori think I did right or wrong?? Because I took his last name, but HE wanted me to KEEP my name. So I was disobeying him. A conundrum indeed...)

[Frog99]

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

When you advocate for kids like that, you have to be prepared for people looking at you like you've farted, because you dared to say your child was smart and needs more. 

Personally, I think all kids are smart at something, whether it's academics or swimming or mechanics or building. The difficult thing about academically advanced kids is that you often need the help of the school, and school administrators don't generally appreciate "advice" from parents.

Beyond the age of 4, I don't think workbooks are the best choice for an academically advanced kid (before that, I could convince my kids that they were "playing a game"). I was thinking more of things like museum trips, factory tours, travel (where financially possible), lego technics, advanced cooking classes. Those were the sorts of things my two youngsters enjoyed, and we did too.

Agreed! My 11 year old is intelligent as well but is also very athletic, creative, and artsy (unlike me lol). 

We love to do day trips to museums and other events whenever possible. We operate from an experience over things perspective. Learning and good memories is a win-win! 

[feministxtian]

She's back on this rant again...from her very white-bread point of view.

In most Hispanic cultures, last names are hyphenated. There's an astronaut who is Latino...his name is Michael Lopez-Alegria. How did that happen? His father's last name was something-Lopez and his mother's was something-Alegria. When the kid is born, usually, the mother's last name is dropped and the paternal last names are hyphenated. The mother's legal name was Maria M****l - S*****a. (father's name/mother's name). 

Bank accounts? Who the fuck cares? Whatever works for you. 

Lori...STFU

[Sarah92]

Idk Kyle, who would have thought that money bought food, paid bills, and helped keep people healthy? I mean I'm just as surprised as you are. I was living all safe under my rock, a nice little burrow really, and then bam I came out from under my rock recently to discover that things actually cost money!

[wallysmommy]

The sympathy card has come out again.  I was sooooo sick when my children were little and Ken was gone soooooo much, but I suffered through the pain and took care of them.  The nanny and housekeeper are nowhere in this lovely walk down memory lane in the shadows of her own warped mind.  

Her stories are sounding like the "I walked 3 miles to school in the snow with no shoes uphill both ways."

 

On the starting school age topic, my birthday is early September.  Louisiana cut off is October 1, so I was one of the youngest in my class.  I had just turned 5 when I started kindergarten on September 8, 1964.  I remember the exact date!  I graduated mid-year, so I was barely 17 when I graduated.  I was ready to get out of school for some reason -- probably to avoid PE.  I still have nightmares about dressing out.

[smittykins]

I’ve read that in Japan, if the husband has brothers to carry on his last name but the wife doesn’t, he’ll take hers.

[Lgirlrocks]

I wish Lori would make up her mind. Two shall become one flesh has to do with becoming one unit not having the same name. If that were the case then she would have both his first and last name. No identity. 

Spoiler

Then she refers to the wife submitting to her husband. What if he wants to take her last name or doesn’t want her to take his? Is he being unbiblical. If god truly cared about her taking his last name he would have said it. 

[Briefly]

When Mr. Briefly and I got back together after our divorce, I hyphenated my last name.  I had taken my maiden name back when we divorced and I decided to hyphenate mostly for my dad.  My brother has a daughter and he's the end of the line as far as my dad's last name.  I quit using the hyphenated form after my dad died, because it got to be a pain in the rear to deal with constantly having to spell two very long last names.  But because I did hyphenate, my maiden name shows up like my middle name in many things.  If we do wind up divorcing again, I don't know which name I would use.  My daughter has Mr. Briefly's last name but she and her boyfriend will probably not ever get officially married. Even if they do, she doesn't know if she would take his last name or not.  I like the idea of the name connection with her, but I realize that it's probably not a major thing. But one drawback of my double last name is that the Tulsa county list for jury duty has me listed twice.  I still would not have to serve as a juror more than the legal requirement, but it means that I am twice as likely to be called as most people.

I was born right after Christmas, I think my parents must have held me back when I started school because I was always older than the kids I went to school with by several months.  Kindergarten was not a requirement then, but I did go to a sort of pre-school run by a lady in the neighborhood for a few months.  I have no idea what age I was, I could have been 4 or 5. But I turned 18 when I was a senior, and I really enjoyed being able to sign legal forms and not have to get mom's permission for field trips and anything else that would have needed parental permission.

[wallysmommy]

I ventured into LoriLand this lovely Sunday morning.  Nothing to see here folks.  More abortion tirade, posted an hour ago, so it was posted between 6:00 and 6:50 Pacific time (rough estimate).  If she wants to go viral, she's going to have to do better than a recycled post from someone else. that's already been all over social media.  

Lori, you need to step further off the cliff if you want another wave of "fame."  

[Tigerchild74]

Not to be rude or anything, but growing up/within my fundie-lite circle/amongst many of my SAHM community friends when my bigs were little, "a successfully GROWING home based business" was code word for MLM.

People who had a legitimate business would just say "I am an accountant/personal trainer/marketer/cam girl, ect"  Well maybe not the cam girl, though I do know someone who did that.  

[Sarah92]

41 minutes ago, Tigerchild74 said:

Not to be rude or anything, but growing up/within my fundie-lite circle/amongst many of my SAHM community friends when my bigs were little, "a successfully GROWING home based business" was code word for MLM.

People who had a legitimate business would just say "I am an accountant/personal trainer/marketer/cam girl, ect"  Well maybe not the cam girl, though I do know someone who did that.  

You know I just realized that a lot of people on her page that make the home business claim rarely say what type of home business they had. I can't help but think that if I had a home business I might say what it was like: cake making or idk carpentry. So I guess I'm curious why they never say what they actually do. 

[PennySycamore]

@Sarah92, yeah, you'd think that women who have home-based businesses would want to mention what it is they do to maybe drum up a little business.  One of my neighbors has an Etsy shop and she's got a magnetic sign for the shop on her car as does the woman I met in Target that owns the Micah Six Ate bakery.  (We  were checking out and started talking about our favorite flour.)  Micah 6:8 is the verse 

Quote

What does the Lord require of you?  To love mercy, to do justice and to walk humbly with your God.

 

[Frog99]

39 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@Sarah92, yeah, you'd think that women who have home-based businesses would want to mention what it is they do to maybe drum up a little business.  One of my neighbors has an Etsy shop and she's got a magnetic sign for the shop on her car as does the woman I met in Target that owns the Micah Six Ate bakery.  (We  were checking out and started talking about our favorite flour.)  Micah 6:8 is the verse 

 

I love that title and verse!! 

I was in church today pondering the whole stay at home daughters ideology, probably because of who was in front of me. I attend a smaller campus of a large church and the people in front of me normally attend the main campus. The family in front of me is on the fundie side. They have three girls. The oldest went to college and is away now for some sort of missions work but didn’t have much help getting there. She was homeschooled but also attended and graduated from a Christian school. 

There are two more girls- who briefly attended the Christian school and then pulled out to be homeschooled. The middle daughter, who sat in front of me in church today with her parents, joined a small uber conservative Christian school as a senior a few months before graduation. She didn’t go to college, doesn’t work, and doesn’t seem to have much of a friend group or social life. She met a boy at the Christian high school and fell for him fast and hard. They didn’t last long- probably because he was college bound and his (conservative Christian) family didn’t support their relationship. 

There is nothing wrong with not going to college, there is nothing wrong with wanting to live in a more biblically traditional way. But encourage your kids to identify and build a skill and to have a friend group. It makes me sad for her and for her younger sister who seems to be following right behind her. I don’t know that she’s been raised to be a stay at home daughter- but she’s never been encouraged to find and utilize her gifts- and that seems just as bad.

[Lgirlrocks]

Lori’s latest post is about funding birth control and abortions through tax payers. Abortions aren’t covered by taxes.

source: https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/issues/abortion/hyde-amendment

this says that since 1976 Medicaid isn’t able to cover the cost of abortion. 

Sourse number 2: https://www.factcheck.org/2011/04/planned-parenthood/

madicaid can only be used to cover the cost of abortion if it is rape, incest or endangerment of the mother. 

Lori believes that birth control causes abortions. I am on the depo shot and what is does is stop my cycle. No overlation, no egg dropping. There are very rare cases of women getting pregnant from birth control, which would help prove it doesn’t abort babies. Usually it is from human error. 

How is Lori supposed to mentor people on this subject when she is ignoring facts? She is also claiming that some sins are worse than others according to the Bible. https://billygraham.org/answer/are-all-sins-the-same-in-gods-eyes/

even Billy Graham doesn’t agree with Lori. While some sins are obviously worse than others there is no list which states the order of sins from least to greatest.

[lilwriter85]

4 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

You know I just realized that a lot of people on her page that make the home business claim rarely say what type of home business they had. I can't help but think that if I had a home business I might say what it was like: cake making or idk carpentry. So I guess I'm curious why they never say what they actually do. 

I've taken a look at the FB profiles of a few of the fangirls who have mentioned home based businesses. There was that skirt wearing fundie Ruth who has posted on Lori's FB a bunch of times. In one post she said that she had a home based business selling soaps and her husband did carpentry from home.  I looked at her FB page and I recall she had a link to an FB page for the husband's business. 

A few weeks ago, one fangirl told Lori that she had a home based business doing embroidery. On her FB page, she had a link to the business FB and a business site. Her products were mostly monogrammed baby clothing products. Sometime after that I checked out the FB page of another fangirl out of curiosity and she had crocheted baby items posted for sale. She also has a FB page for her business. Most of her products were baby or kid items. It appeared that fangirl was getting some business as she has posts around Christmas mentioned request orders from people. 

The fangirl with the crochet business had posted on Lori's FB about how she only owns one car and was happy to be at home with her kids. If she is happy and her business has some stability then good for her. But, I've known and seen people who have a hard time trying to sell handmade products for different reasons. My mom is a craft club that meets twice a week. They have made blankets and hats for charities like Project Linus and hospitals. But, most of the stuff they make is usually for their friends or family. A couple of people will occasionally go to crafts fairs.

  One of my mom's friends in the club has a niece who is married to a firefighter. They found out they were having a boy and told the aunt if she could make a crocheted newborn firefighter outfit for a photo shoot. The aunt found a pattern and made the outfit and gave to them free of charge as a gift. After that, a co-worker of niece's husband contacted her to make an outfit for her baby and they offered to pay $30 and provide the yarn. Later on, another co-worker and his wife thought about ordering an outfit, but backed out saying that they weren't going to pay $30.

We know Lori's daughter in law appears to have built up a good home based jewelry business. But, other people aren't so lucky and Lori probably doesn't get there are downsides to having your business. I'm sure Ken has had issues with his business, but I doubt Lori has ever actually worried for Ken.  Let's say the fangirl with the one car ends up having financial issues because her husband loses his job or other shit happens. Her business might not be enough to put food on the table and pay the bills. You just know Lori would advise against a woman taking a part time job outside the home to help with bills. 

[Frog99]

12 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Lori’s latest post is about funding birth control and abortions through tax payers. Abortions aren’t covered by taxes.

source: https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/issues/abortion/hyde-amendment

this says that since 1976 Medicaid isn’t able to cover the cost of abortion. 

Sourse number 2: https://www.factcheck.org/2011/04/planned-parenthood/

madicaid can only be used to cover the cost of abortion if it is rape, incest or endangerment of the mother. 

Lori believes that birth control causes abortions. I am on the depo shot and what is does is stop my cycle. No overlation, no egg dropping. There are very rare cases of women getting pregnant from birth control, which would help prove it doesn’t abort babies. Usually it is from human error. 

How is Lori supposed to mentor people on this subject when she is ignoring facts? She is also claiming that some sins are worse than others according to the Bible. https://billygraham.org/answer/are-all-sins-the-same-in-gods-eyes/

even Billy Graham doesn’t agree with Lori. While some sins are obviously worse than others there is no list which states the order of sins from least to greatest.

Mirena here and no cycle. 

Shes just pushing harder to go viral. 

And I would love to know where all of these “free” and “low-cost” clinics are. Our health department services were privatized 25 years ago and the closest planned parenthood is an hour or so away. 

I know it’s been said a million times over, but I really wish Lori and her minions would stop the attempts to be the moral police. They are the most unchristian like people I’ve ever encountered- and I’m including in that group the birth parents I worked with who had children in foster care (minus a couple of them- who, interestingly enough, characterized themselves as church going Christians). 

I have a work trip coming up and we are planning to travel some this summer (first vacation in 8 years- hopefully it happens). I am considering making a spreadsheet of the places of business for her fan girls and spouses so that I can avoid any financial support.