Lori Alexander 62: A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal- TRIGGER for child sexual abuse

[kmachete14]

@Sarah92 Don't you know forgiving of past sins and "once saved, always saved" is for men only ???? 

Women can marry ex-rapists (Tabitha Paine) but a man must hold a non-virgin in exile forever !!!!! Or, marry her and then berate her for it for the rest of their marriage!!

 

 

[samurai_sarah]

9 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

(snip)

On a different note, we could start our own German subgroup -  Snarking on American fundies in German ? 

No! We can't do that, because every mod and admin needs to be able to read and understand. English is the lingua franca on FJ.

 

[FluffySnowball]

2 minutes ago, samurai_sarah said:

No! We can't do that, because every mod and admin needs to be able to read and understand. English is the lingua franca on FJ.

 

I know, it was a joke in reference to @SongRed7 saying that she wished she’d use German more. 

[samurai_sarah]

6 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

I know, it was a joke in reference to @SongRed7 saying that she wished she’d use German more. 

No worries. I have to do this sort of thing. Part of the job.

[AuntKrazy]

I took a break from Lori's crazy for a little bit - and of course, nothing has changed, except for Alyssa's pregnancy.  I am happy for her - but I can't help but see Lori's behavior as emphasizing how she treated Alyssa as "less than" until the pregnancy.  

The denial of the ontological personhood of womankind is just flat out evil.

 

[wallysmommy]

Someone I know (not saying who :)) posted a message on Lori's FB page.  It shows up on her page, but I can't see it on mine.  It's a husband and wife shared page posted about 2 hours ago.  Is anyone willing to go down the rabbit hole to see if you can see it?

[SongRed7]

3 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

The only thing I could "kinda" relate to was when Lori mentioned The Bachelor.

I love how Lori is always railing against The Bachelor...but justified watching it when one of Alyssa's friends (Tenley Molzhan) appeared on it numerous times....I guess she was forced to watch it under duress.   Hypocrite much? either you are against it or you aren't, Lori.   No halfsies.  

[Koala]

1 minute ago, SongRed7 said:

I love how Lori is always railing against The Bachelor...but justified watching it when one of Alyssa's friends (Tenley Molzhan) appeared on it numerous times....I guess she was forced to watch it under duress.   Hypocrite much? either you are against it or you aren't, Lori.   No halfsies.  

Oh, but she always watches it out of obligation!  It's not that she doesn't strongly object- she has to watch because reasons and stuff.

March 2011:

February 2014:

So you see, she really HAD to watch because: an acquaintance was on it, a Christian was on it, she was sick, etc.  

There truly was no other choice.  BUT, she blogged about it for Jesus, and that's all that counts.

Also, she has confirmed that "thankfully" the Christian bachelor didn't have sex.  She knows that because she watched the show, and if it wasn't filmed, it didn't happen.  Besides, he says so, and men don't lie.    

[Free Jana Duggar]

Spoiler

 

I don't know why, but this song came to mind after reading the women bashing post this morning. So, since Lori can't say anything kind or encouraging, I leave you with this song from Dolly. Whether you're broken like a sparrow or soaring like an eagle...you are awesome!

[samurai_sarah]

xxx

34 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

  Hide contents

 

I don't know why, but this song came to mind after reading the women bashing post this morning. So, since Lori can't say anything kind or encouraging, I leave you with this song from Dolly. Whether you're broken like a sparrow or soaring like an eagle...you are awesome!

Thank you for that!!!

I had a bit of a bad day and this cheered me up to no end. And it gave me hope. We're stronger than we think we are, all of us. No matter what gender, assigned sex or sexuality. We can do this! For a better tomorrow.

[Lgirlrocks]

Lori you never explains her thoughts. Posting a link to a post you didn’t write isn’t what was being asked. How hard is it for you to give your opinion? Usually it’s not. You seem to do it all of the time. I think the problem with Deborah is she disproves your point of women not leading. 

[wallysmommy]

I sincerely do not understand why her family, if they had any common sense and decency, would not stage an intervention with her.  She has spread their personal family business all over social media, she spends countless hours fuming and seething as she types furiously in response to those who disagree with her, and she perpetuates racism and hatred.  Sure, she is a grown adult, but I can't believe they don't see how off the rails she is.   Did they really enjoy being discussed in the Daily News or having her as the topic of discussion on national television?  I would be so embarrassed if my close family member did these shenanigans.  Instead, they take pictures with her with a big shit-eating grin on their faces of the perfect Christian family.  Guess what?  Your family has a big old mole on the end of  its nose and its name is Lori.

[SuperNova]

A woman commenting on Lori's naughty women post asks if it's ok for women to help lead the singing at church. Lori responds:

"I am not a fan of women being the worship leader since she is then in a leadership position in the church and they often give little mini-sermons between songs. If a woman is up on stage simply singing under the direction of a male worship leader, I have no problems with that."

Shouldn't it be god isn't a fan, or god has no problems with that? Apparently god/Lori are interchangeable now. Good to know.

[Sarah92]

On the whole mommy bit idk I hesitate to judge people on it because of different cultures. Plus I have my parents in my phone as mommy and daddy. I don't call them that in person though. It's part joke, part weirdness, and part because I want to. I've always been close to my parents and maybe watching them age has brought back that desire to hold on them as closely as possible. My dad had a brief cancer scare two weeks ago and I sobbed like a child over the phone. Besides me calling my mom "mommy" in no way takes away from my intelligence, drive, or independence as a grown woman. I'll speak however I want.  Thank you, next. 

P.s I'm in no way offended by those who aren't a fan but I think family culture and such can play a role in language an individual uses. 

[older than allosaurs]

My grown daughters call me momma and mommy. I have no idea why, and prior to this thread it never occurred to me that it might sound weird to others. Their dad is daddy, which also is not unusual among people I know. I called my parents by their first names as a child -- likewise I don't remember why, but I switched to mom for my mother when a friend of hers told me she would like that. She was Nana to my girls. Their great-grandmother is Granny.

Since my kids and I are, of course, models of appropriate behavior and practically perfect in every way, I figure mommy must be fine. As long as we relate to each other as adults I don't think it matters what names we use. My granddaughter calls me Geema or grandma. My grandson calls me grandma. My SIL calls me mom.

[Liza]

20 hours ago, polecat said:

bbm: Because they don't know. 

As a child, one of the only ways to survive abuse from a trusted parent/guardian is to justify it. "Well, I was just really bad bad/didn't do what I should have/wasn't -fillintheblank- enough." Add that to the fact that in their culture such abuse is *normalized*, and, well, you end up with a bunch of adults who genuinely don't and can't see their abuser AS an abuser. I'm sure they remember happy parts of their childhoods, too, which further muddies the waters. That doesn't in any way mean they'll grow up to abuse their kids, mind you. Survivors of childhood abuse grow up to be good parents more often than not. But it does explain why the kids don't condemn her, and Ken for allowing it to happen/participating in it. And that might, in part, explain why they don't see the harm in her having unsupervised access to the kids. They just plain don't understand her as an abuser -- everything she did was done in the context of "correcting" them, making *them* the problem.

@polecat   I agree that many don;t see it and that the combination of religious support  (who can argue with what God wants?) adds to this. 

However, in order to discontinue the abuse cycle, you have to first "see" that something was wrong and/or, perhaps you might have enough compassion not to do it.  Some do continue the cycle if they don't see it as the harm that it is.  One of Lori's children, at least, is following in her footsteps.  Not sure if these are the only ones who leave their children with her for babysitting.  I do know that her daughter, Cassie, also supports and has defended her mother's abuse saying it was "not abuse ... far from it", in response to someone's comment that Lori is a child abuser.  
 

Spoiler

 

Emma, my granddaughter, would love to be the boss. Most children would love to be the boss if they could. Ryan, my son, made Emma's breakfast this morning. He started feeding it to her. After one bite she said, "No!"  Ryan made her eat at least 20 bites between her crying. He doesn't want her to get her way and become a picky eater. He is a very smart daddy.  Erin, Emma's mother, told me that when they eat dinner, Emma begs for their food. Ryan didn't like that so he set a blanket down and made Emma sit on it with her toys and books while they ate. For a week, she would just sit there and scream. Then she would just cry.  Now when he lays the blanket down, she crawls over to it and plays happily while they eat.  She knows her daddy is boss and means what he says.

 

 

[quiversR4hunting]

Not on topic but I think we can use a diversion. Yoga. Another awesome topic that Lori loathes. 

I try and go to hot yoga once a week. I, like everyone, prefer certain instructors over other instructors. I typically go when my neighbor and friend teaches. My neighbor and friend is male. He has a little bit of stomach but he is in shape (he is in his late 40s, who doesn't have at least a little bit of a pooch?). A few weeks ago I was having issues with my mind wandering during yoga. To be fair, audible keeps advertising for me to read a book "Ride Me Dirty" by Vanessa Vale. Cowboy romance book is sometimes exactly what is needed. I tell you that because my mind was kind of wandering when we got to the frog pose. For anyone that doesn't know that pose here is a picture:
 (just some random picture on the internet, not my friend)

So my friend and instructor is demonstrating it for the newbies and he is right in my line of sight and I am behind him. 

So Lori- what happens when a man defrauds a woman and makes her have awesome impure thoughts? huh? huh? 

[PennySycamore]

10 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

On the whole mommy bit idk I hesitate to judge people on it because of different cultures. Plus I have my parents in my phone as mommy and daddy. I don't call them that in person though. It's part joke, part weirdness, and part because I want to. I've always been close to my parents and maybe watching them age has brought back that desire to hold on them as closely as possible. My dad had a brief cancer scare two weeks ago and I sobbed like a child over the phone. Besides me calling my mom "mommy" in no way takes away from my intelligence, drive, or independence as a grown woman. I'll speak however I want.  Thank you, next. 

P.s I'm in no way offended by those who aren't a fan but I think family culture and such can play a role in language an individual uses. 

If you've ever read Coal Miner's Daughter or seen the film with Sissy Spacek as Loretta, you know that Loretta Lynn calls her parents Mommy and Daddy even well into adulthood.  It's not just Loretta either.  I've heard other adults in eastern Kentucky do the same thing.

[SongRed7]

UGH!  I hate when she goes to the chat room to get women to report on how their mothers failed them. 

I'll just leave this scripture here:

“Watch out for people who cause divisions…such people are not serving Christ our Lord; they are serving their own personal interests.” (Romans 16:17-18)

 

[Koala]

@SongRed7 Exactly!  Here she is trying to convince this woman she wasn't content with her own mother:

I am certain that if the reader came back in her mother's defense, Lori quickly deleted it.  If All Knowing Lori says your mom was bad, then she was!

[polecat]

17 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

I sincerely do not understand why her family, if they had any common sense and decency, would not stage an intervention with her.  She has spread their personal family business all over social media, she spends countless hours fuming and seething as she types furiously in response to those who disagree with her, and she perpetuates racism and hatred.  Sure, she is a grown adult, but I can't believe they don't see how off the rails she is.   Did they really enjoy being discussed in the Daily News or having her as the topic of discussion on national television?  I would be so embarrassed if my close family member did these shenanigans.  Instead, they take pictures with her with a big shit-eating grin on their faces of the perfect Christian family.  Guess what?  Your family has a big old mole on the end of  its nose and its name is Lori.

Right? I'd be mortified. My kids would be mortified. My husband would be mortified! 

For all she puts on this big dog-and-pony show of being a Perfect Christian Lady (tm), she's more of a sounding brass ... Pick a verse, Lori -- they all apply to you: 

>A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.

>A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

>And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

2 hours ago, Liza said:

However, in order to discontinue the abuse cycle, you have to first "see" that something was wrong and/or, perhaps you might have enough compassion not to do it.

Well, yes and no. The idea of a "cycle of generational abuse" is overly simplified and quite possibly wrong. Survivors of childhood abuse are significantly more likely to grow up to be victims of domestic violence or other forms of abuse than they are to be abusers themselves. I agree that one of her kids grew up abusive, and it's quite likely that at least one of her others may also be abusive, but that in no way means all of them will abuse their kids. It's more complicated than that. There's a lot of really good information here about the lasting effects of childhood abuse, if you're curious.

At any rate, this topic hits close to home for me, so I'm signing off. I'm not here to change minds. Just trying to clarify an often-confusing subject (why kids continue to associate with their abusers as adults).

[Free Jana Duggar]

I don't have a problem with what people choose to call their parents. What I think is odd is when they use childish terms when talking to other adults.  

I remember Anna Duggar saying how she and another "mommy" took their kids somewhere.  

On today's post: I had a doubly horrible mother. She was single and 17 when she had me. She married a wonderful man when I was 5 (who adopted me), and worked all through my childhood.  My grandma watched me after school, then my parents picked me up around 5:30. It was certainly not a problem for me. Both of my parents were there.  If something special was going on, they were there. I still got bedtime stories and prayers. We still had movie or game nights on Fri. or Sat, church and Sunday dinner etc...

[delphinium65]

17 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Guess what?  Your family has a big old mole on the end of  its nose and its name is Lori.

Maybe it's not a mole, but a melanoma.   Black salve to the rescue!  

[Alisamer]

6 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I don't have a problem with what people choose to call their parents. What I think is odd is when they use childish terms when talking to other adults.  

Yeah, I don't think we were really even talking so much about what other people choose to call their parents, though I do think it's interesting to hear how those things are different for different areas/families/cultures/etc.

What set that off was women, grown women, on Lori's page talking about how they "always wanted to be a mommy" or "love being a mommy" or "hope to be a mommy". That's the sort of thing a 5-year-old would say. Most grown women I know who want to have kids would say "I want to have kids" or "I'd like to be a mother" or "I always hoped to someday be a mom". Putting the "a" before it makes a difference, I think.

[Loveday]

I never realised how evil my own mother must have been, in Lori's eyes. Not only did she go to work when I was about 3, she left me with my GREAT-grandmother, not my grandmother! *clutches pearls*  Because--wait for it--my grandmother was working, too! *gasps*  Clearly, this was generational sin at work, especially since my great-grandmother worked outside the home as well when her kids were growing up in the 20s and 30s. Granted, at that point in my life  Mom only worked for a few months while my dad was off at a military training school, but we're talking the very early '60s, people. The tail end of that golden, keeper-at-home era Lori speaks of so fondly (and obviously inaccurately!).