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Lori Alexander 62: A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal- TRIGGER for child sexual abuse


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7 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

"Women were happier when they were barefoot and pregnant in the home"

Why does Lori suddenly care about the happiness of any woman? She has written time and again that women have no right to expect happiness or fulfillment from their lives as stay at home wives. She's not selling happiness, she's trying to silence women. Lori is nothing more than an easily fooled woman being used as a pawn by men with a very specific agenda.

 

Lori doesn't care.  She's being so obvious by passive-aggressively telling her now-pregnant daughter Alyssa to stop working, exercising, and stay home.  I think that we all saw this coming. 

I look forward to the post that addresses the "problem" when Alyssa ignores Lori's "advice."

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To me the idea that women were happier in the past is infantilizing. So what if I would be happier if I was less educated and had less freedoms? It not always about "happy" at the point someone comes and asks you a survey question. Every life has its ups and downs. Sometimes I pause and think wow, I have so many blessings and good things and people in my life, I am so happy. Sometimes I think, wow there's fucked up sh*t in the world and my family and also I wish I had enough money to travel more, plus I gained 5 lbs, I'm so unhappy. 

What I never do, is "Fake it till I make it" with a false sense of "joy" from god aka what Lori touts. I am a real human living through different experiences and feeling different things. I don't always have to be happy, and I wouldn't give up all my life experiences and education just to feel "happy," or more likely what Lori really means, is a fake "joy." 

It's infantilizing to think that making decisions for women and taking way their freedoms/education so that they will feel "happier" is a good idea. I also am dubious about the results -- "happy" is such a loaded yet generic phrase. Perhaps a black woman in when the study was taken was happy she had a loving husband and family, and despite being deeply worried about racism, is happy that things seem to be looking up. Perhaps now a black woman who was interviewed has a loving husband and family, but the continuation of systemic racism does not show hope, and so she leans towards more unhappy thinking about the future of her children. Lori's solution is: follow a homeschool program that doesn't teach history correctly & also go to a church that doesn't believe social justice or systemic racism are real!! Also, convince yourself that you feel joy! And then, you'll be happy! 

 

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5 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

It's infantilizing to think that making decisions for women and taking way their freedoms/education so that they will feel "happier" is a good idea. I also am dubious about the results -- "happy" is such a loaded yet generic phrase.

Hasn't Lori said in the past that you shouldn't care about 'happy'?  That you should suck it up, endure 30 years of abuse and pray HARDER  and when he's old and needs someone to take care of him and gives you a smile and a pat on the head - it will all be worth it...wasn't that her?  

My great grandma raised kids during the depression.  She always pounded in her daughters and granddaughters and great granddaughters heads 'nothing is worse than not being able to feed your kids. Get an education.  Make sure you always have a needed skill.'.  She didn't say anything about being happy her kids went to bed hungry while her husband was out walking for hundreds of miles looking for a job.  She must have missed the memo.  Or not prayed hard enough - God will provide after all! right?!  Dang it!  If only Lori had been around then to tell her how happy she was! 

 

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@klein_roeschen, I’d heard about that German “housework day”! I wondered whether it were really a housework day, or a day off in which a woman could cope with the worst day of her period.

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While being barefoot may something to be in a warmer climate, but people here where I live had some kind of feet protection since the neanderthals and the last ice age. Because having your toes literally freezing of during winter is bad for a pregnancy. So at the moment I prefer my cozy socks at home and warm boots outside.

@wallysmommy that are some pretty shoes. When I see such shoes I wish I could walk in them. But I can only sit or lay down decoratevly in such shoes. And if I want to find something like this, this only leaves online stores for men with a high heel fetish thanks to my large feet.

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I can do barefoot, it makes me quite happy to be barefoot. Pregnant? NOT ON YOUR LIFE. Kitchen, I don't think so. 

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Just now, Hane said:

@klein_roeschen, I’d heard about that German “housework day”! I wondered whether it were really a housework day, or a day off in which a woman could cope with the worst day of her period.

I don't think so. There was a good public health care and paid sick leave, so most of them took that route when dealing with any illness.  They mostly used the day to get that done what took time, like going to various offices and/ or get your stuff done without children and husband underfoot. Or used that day to go to the hairdresser and just enjoy themselves.

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4 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

My point here is that, contrary to Lori's belief, marriages don't break up over housework. Marriages break up over unequal expectations. Marriages break up over one partner having tons of free time and relaxing while the other is killing herself working. Marriages break up over laziness, selfishness, and misogyny. But they don't break up over housework. 

yes! amen! My husband helps around the house but normally I have to do a list, why do I have to do it? He isn't blind, can't he see what also needs done? Ugh. And I totally get this because I do far more housework than my husband and get home at least 1 1/2 hours after him in the evening (unless he is coaching after school then we get home about the same time). 

3 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Hey, Lori, I'll keep these -- I love barefoot, but I also love my stilettos.  If I feel like it, I'll wear them in the kitchen, or while I'm out being a Jezebel.  I wore them intentionally to work one day when I had to make a presentation to a large group just to annoy our CEO who makes comments about our flashy shoes.  

BTW, I've never been nor will I ever be pregnant -- didn't find the right man, now I'm too old and I had my "valuable" parts (her thoughts, not mine) removed 8 years ago.  Oh, Happy Day!

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I love the reason you wore the stilettos to your presentation! I don't wear heels unless they are low and on a boot. I am a casual, boot and jean type person than a stiletto type person. At work I wear comfortable flats. I am always amazed at the women that say they don't have any leg pain after wearing stilettos or lower heels all day. Maybe it is all my years playing basketball, running and skiing that put me into flats only mode. (I am still very active- running, yoga and downhill skiing.) 

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3 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Brace yourself.

 

I have yet to see Scripture calling for men to hang out online harassing women (total strangers to them) about their life choices...but here we are.  

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I really do object to the idea that children are being irrevocably harmed by being in daycare. Growing up, I LOVED daycare and LOVED my daycare teachers. (I was three and four, but I still remember their names--Mrs. Sipes and Miss Paula). I loved it so much that the earliest thing I said I wanted to be growing up was a daycare teacher. I remember liking that I had friends to play with and different toys than the ones I had at home. We had nap time and listened to the Ghostbusters theme song.  I love my mother and no one could or can replace her, but going to daycare was the very antithesis of traumatizing for me.

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12 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I really do object to the idea that children are being irrevocably harmed by being in daycare. Growing up, I LOVED daycare and LOVED my daycare teachers. (I was three and four, but I still remember their names--Mrs. Sipes and Miss Paula). I loved it so much that the earliest thing I said I wanted to be growing up was a daycare teacher. I remember liking that I had friends to play with and different toys than the ones I had at home. We had nap time and listened to the Ghostbusters theme song.  I love my mother and no one could or can replace her, but going to daycare was the very antithesis of traumatizing for me.

You sound like my best college friend.  She was an only child and her mother worked part time for the majority of her childhood.  She enjoyed day care and has never said anything negative about her childhood experiences. They are very close and she doesn't look down on her mom for not being home 24/7.  

 

Oddly enough my friend is hanging from the edge of the fundy rabbit hole....I know it's her husband, not she who pushes those ideals but she goes along with it.  It hurts to watch an intelligent, capable woman cripple her children intellectually and buy into religiously steeped crazy.  

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I saw a comment from one of the fangirls who has a home daycare. She said she is considering closing because she is so sad for the children and doesn't believe in daycare anymore (or something like that).

Uh, I'm going to assume this woman genuinely loves and cares for the children she keeps. Then, why doesn't she stay open so those kids have a good place to go instead of closing and the kids ending up in what she thinks would be an awful situation?  If she really loves those children, why not continue to watch them so you know they are in a good place?

 

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Well, this is an interesting exchange.  Those who ask genuine questions, who state that they want to learn, need to be blocked.  Well, ain't that just the Christian loooooooove we've come to expect from Lori's Leghumpers? 

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@wallysmommy Oh girl -- I want those shoes!  A sister stiletto wearer.  I have my share of cute flats  and summer is bare feet .......  but give me a pair of stilettos and I'm in shoe heaven.  Red suede or leopard is my preference. Black suede will take me anywhere.

I started wearing them at work because being a woman in a predominantly male work world is bad enough. Being a short (5'2" if I stand up straight) woman is worse.  Without them I am literally looked over and not seen.

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1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I saw a comment from one of the fangirls who has a home daycare. She said she is considering closing because she is so sad for the children and doesn't believe in daycare anymore (or something like that).

Uh, I'm going to assume this woman genuinely loves and cares for the children she keeps. Then, why doesn't she stay open so those kids have a good place to go instead of closing and the kids ending up in what she thinks would be an awful situation?  If she really loves those children, why not continue to watch them so you know they are in a good place?

 

My first thought was most kids aren’t happy at first to be away from their mom or caregiver. I baby sat this girl every Friday night from the time she was 4 months until she was 2. Her mom was a single mom who lived with her mother. The grandma was the one who usually took care of her grand daughter so her daughter could work. When her grandma would leave she would start crying. I was at her house and her grandma was only gone a few hours. Once she realized she was going to be okay she would cheer up and we would play. 

My second thought is maybe these kids cry so much because they don’t like her. It’s probably my first thought but you never know. 

I don’t understand how it’s okay to run a daycare but it’s not okay to send your kids to one. 

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2 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

My first thought was most kids aren’t happy at first to be away from their mom or caregiver. I baby sat this girl every Friday night from the time she was 4 months until she was 2. Her mom was a single mom who lived with her mother. The grandma was the one who usually took care of her grand daughter so her daughter could work. When her grandma would leave she would start crying. I was at her house and her grandma was only gone a few hours. Once she realized she was going to be okay she would cheer up and we would play. 

My second thought is maybe these kids cry so much because they don’t like her. It’s probably my first thought but you never know. 

I don’t understand how it’s okay to run a daycare but it’s not okay to send your kids to one. 

I don’t really remember my kids crying all that much when I dropped them off. I’m sure they did at times- as would be developmentally appropriate, but they weren’t miserable. They saw it as time to play with friends and even though they are both out of daycare age now, they talk about their provider and time there fondly. They’ve even maintained friendships with kids they met at very young ages. And our provider gets all of the kids together a few times per year and takes them to dinner. We very much consider her family. 

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Crying when a parent/caregiver drops a child off is one indication that a child has a secure attachment to the parent/caregiver. Typically, the child will be able to compose him or herself and play with other children until the parent/caregiver returns. Crying when a parent leaves isn't necessary indicative of trauma or poor attachment, just typical childhood development. 

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On a stiletto drift..the shoes are Sam Edelman's that I got on sale.  They actually came in a 7 wide!

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4 hours ago, SuperNova said:

"Women were happier when they were barefoot and pregnant in the home"

Why does Lori suddenly care about the happiness of any woman? She has written time and again that women have no right to expect happiness or fulfillment from their lives as stay at home wives. She's not selling happiness, she's trying to silence women. Lori is nothing more than an easily fooled woman being used as a pawn by men with a very specific agenda.

I agree about Lori being an easily fooled woman, etc., and I strongly emphasis the word FOOL as part of that.

I was just happy to be pregnant after so many years of not being that way that I had zero care about what I wore on my feet.  Except for when I'd been on my feet all day and they were swollen, then I was more interested in them.  But barefoot and pregnant like she means?  Stupidity, they name is Lori.

@wallysmommy I love those shoes!  Even though I am tall, I always liked to wear heels.  Until I broke my foot by accidentally trying to kick the couch into orbit, I always wore heels and had a major shoe collection.  But then that ended and it is still sad.  I live vicariously through the Briefly daughter for fun shoes now.

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I worked in a daycare back in the day. From what I remember, some did cry, (seems age appropriate to me), but it was only for a few minutes.  The woman who ran the place had been in business for over 25 years and was watching children of children she used to keep.  She would tell the moms to just drop the child off and leave instead of hanging around and dragging out the process. Once the kids started playing, they were fine. Some mothers were good at sneaking out and the child never even noticed.

And a random thought: Has anyone else noticed how infantile some of the fangirls sound?  I had too much time on my hands today, so I read through a lot of comments on Lori's FB page. Some of these grown women saying things like, "All I ever wanted to be was a mommy" or "I love being a mommy."

Mommy? Really?  You're a grown a$$ woman.  I get it if you're talking to a toddler, but not to other adults.

I suppose that's what happens when you're stuck at home with little adult interaction and have to live like a child when your husband thinks for you.

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1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

And a random thought: Has anyone else noticed how infantile some of the fangirls sound?  I had too much time on my hands today, so I read through a lot of comments on Lori's FB page. Some of these grown women saying things like, "All I ever wanted to be was a mommy" or "I love being a mommy."

Sometimes I think they are trying to convince themselves. And that their statements against moms who work outside of the home are projections of their own feelings. It’s odd to me- I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mother, but those were facets of my being- I don’t remember a time when I didn’t have other dreams or goals. Even now, at 44 years of age, I have parenting, marriage, relationship, and professional goals. 

I hate the argument about not being able to give 100% to your husband, kids, and home if you work outside the home. You can’t give 100% to all of those things even if you stay home all day. These women must exhaust themselves trying to do just that. 

And I hate the constant “we sacrifice so I can stay home- we aren’t materialistic or concerned with things of the world” drivel. I don’t characterize myself as worldly or materialistic- but I want a safe and reliable car, a safe and comfortable home, health insurance, and peace of mind that comes from knowing basic bills are covered and that my kids will be fed and have needs met. I also don’t think there is anything wrong with not loving housework. In the scheme of things, I’m pretty sure God would prefer me to love and serve others as opposed to scrubbing the toilet spotless. 

 

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So God can’t speak to a woman and give her a dream or calling beyond being a keeper at home, but he can tell this woman to buy baby furniture?? Lori liked the comment, of course. 

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